JMac
Joined 1st Feb, 2012 ·
Offline
Sequels9
Featured In321
- A720 stories ·113 members
- All-OC Stories2,898 stories ·2,263 members
The Writers' Group56,406 stories ·9,292 members
- Friendshipping563 stories ·303 members
- CMC's Reading Time66 stories ·46 members
- Cheerilee's class!574 stories ·214 members
- Equestria Daily Rejects307 stories ·270 members
Supporting Original Characters4,072 stories ·1,824 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.191 seconds
Total duration
618 users online
725,153 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
*sigh* The comment section of my little SFW Young Adult fiction story is filling up with testicle jokes. I shall pout now.
1757979 Sorry about that. I've got to remember to write a comment before posting something epicdonus1123 will see.
My review, courtesy of the Orient Express Explorers. (You can add this story to the group if one more member reviews it.)
Sweet, pathetic, humorous, well-written.
Imagine a pony with Twilight's intellect and Fluttershy's self-confidence. JMac didn't do it that way--Quizzical doesn't remind me of Fluttershy at any point, and though I thought at first that he was trying to out-Twilight Twilight, she isn't very much like Twilight either. Quizzical is not powerful and doesn't have a grand destiny. She's just very, very smart, and certain that no one could possibly be interested in anything she says or does. Twilight would feel hurt if somepony laughed at her. Quizzical just assumes that's the way things are and always will be.
Not that it's a sad story. It begins pathetically, but pretty soon Quizzical makes friends with the CMC, who try to teach her that she's worthwhile. Then... other things happen.
I have only two criticisms of the story. One is that around chapter 7, it suddenly turns from a coming-of-age character study to an adventure story. That's not bad, but it happens a little abruptly. The other is that chapter 1 shows you how boring Quizzical thinks she is, and that's a tough way to write a hook. But stick with this one. It's an expertly written story about a vividly-imagined character. It reminds me a little of the King of Carrot Flowers--the protagonist is terribly alone, and has crumpled all her emotions into a little black ball and shoved it far back into her mind, leaving her with a passionless, unemotional exterior, and the pathos is in what isn't shown--that she doesn't flinch or even change expression when slapped. There's no sudden epiphany in this story, no dramatic transformation from caterpillar into butterfly. She's still shy and withdrawn at the end of the story. But not as much.
Disclaimer: JMac is a real-life friend. But if you know me, you know I don't go easy on my friends' stories. It's just good. And the sequel is possibly even better.
How in the.... Why does she... Amazing, just amazing. You managed to take the absolutely most boring character that ever existed in Equestria, who's special talent is a chalkboard, and whose study focus are dirt and counting dirt, and turn them into a character that is just fascinating. (edited)
To the Feature Box with thee! Let thy creation bask in the warm adoration of uncounted thousands, and let the cries of 'mor! mor!' be heard ringing throughout the land!
Very much deserves a spot on Orient Express Explorers I'm headed over there to give it a nudge.
I've only read one chapter so far, and for that I apologize, but I must write my own story right now. I have hammered the 'like' button with vim and vigor, however, and have even preemptively added the story to my favorites to make sure it doesn't get lost in my Read Later queue. I haven't read enough for a proper review, but let me just say, regarding chapter one, bravo. I look forward to reading the rest.
1758204
Just one thing, this is really nit-picky of me, but I see this situation a lot. In the sentence:
Technically it is correct, but it reads awkwardly in the mind. There are two schools of thought on this, but the concept of a/an based on phonetics of the acronym is considered the more popular, and in my opinion superior, choice. So RL, which begins with an R, rather than a vowel, has the sound "ar" thus an is the more fluid term.
More details here: http://www.gpuss.co.uk/english_usage/a_or_an.htm
Department of Syntax National Socialists,
-Onyx
1758344 You're right. I did that because I pronounce "Real Life" in my head when I see RL.
So, having treated myself to a single chapter, I opened up Scrivener and got back to work...only to alt-tab back and go to chapter two. Just so you know, I'm blaming you and you alone on my story being late.
A few comments, as I read it.
A very dry and snarky Pinkie here, I see. And goes so well with Quizzical who is much drier and may be snarky. She has that Captain Carrot quality that makes you wonder how much of it is genuine and how much is a put-on.
Like a punch to the gut, that line. Oh, dear thing, what on Earth was done to you?
Reading this, it occurs to me that Quizzical isn't, even a little bit, boring. So the question becomes, how did she come to believe so firmly that she is? She isn't a monomaniac, either. She expresses a healthy interest in other things, if understated as is her way. And the way she treats, say, Spike and the notion of him doing anything for her is a little bit terrifying. It's like she was taught to make herself as small and as invisible as possible.
Oh, you.
I should think Quizzical is more the Hyneman type, though. Just get a beret from Rarity and get Twilight's Trick #25 to acquire a walrus mustache and you are all set.
I see what you did there.
Well, I read this story after GhostOfHeraclitus's suggestion in his blog. It is interesting, though suffers from some descriptive (you tend to gloss over the more interesting events and reactions) problems, making the story come across flat a little. Still, it seems good.
Keep going.
Wonderful. Greystone sounds exceedingly boring and droll, but a great opportunity for conflict. You did well having us pity her without making it blunt. I'll have to continue this later. To the Favorites, so I don't lose you.
Off to the faves you go! Amazing character. I wish to punch anyone who is mean to her.
Poor Quiz. She reminds me of, well, me. And actually, I overuse the word "actually" more than anypony I know, so this fits even better than you think it does.
Duly faved.
Well I read this after Georg's suggestion. Loving it.
Whoops!
No zey don't.
1758344>>1758390
Rewrite the sentence! "Jmac is a friend IRL."
1759771 Shaved eyebrows don't, but singed ones come back gnarly and bushy. You may trust me on this.
Well, congrats, your story just got featured!
I would say "see what good friends get you" but on second thought, that sounds like an insult, so... just congrats? (Really though, the story does deserve it despite a few of its flaws, I have seen far more flawed and even horrible fics get featured...)
I think I like this.
Normally I would see an OC who had enormous talent, but crippling low self esteem like this an attempt to compensate for Sue-ish traits with a big flaw, which in turn would just result in, well, a Sue. Quiz here just goes to show, it's not the qualities a character posses, it's the writing, that determines a character's quality. And the writing is looking pretty good.
Does that make sense?
1760215 Perfect sense. Thank you, very much.
That feeling when you catch up on an entire story, just to have a new chapter come out when you finish.
1760385 Sorry. Chapt. eight will be the last uploaded tonight.
1760398 Don't apologize! This story is good and it's fun to read.
Normally I'm not a huge fan of OCs, but this is written well enough to win me over. Awesome piece, looking forward to more.
Congrates on being featured, this story deserves it!
Thank you. It was nice of you to welcome my first story here so warmly. Thank you for the kind words. I believe if anyone asks me to describe Quiz I may quote Georg ("dirt and counting dirt" is much better than "numbers and rocks"). The story should be complete tomorrow.
1758207
Oh wow, that made me laugh. Geology and Mathematics... well done, well done.
Oh, the soft kitty song is a good one
Quiz and Pinkie Pie; a study in opposites.
I dislike OC main characters. I almost immediately skip stories that have them because i know I have a 99% chance of it being pulled off poorly. I misclicked here and happened to glance at the comments. Since they are so adamantly for this story I will give it a shot and hope it is among that 1%.
I now believe that the author is tied to a computer with nothing but word processor software and behind him there is a domimatrix holding a whip, yelling "mush, mush, write!".
Or that he has a cache. But I like my theory better.
1759973 And now we know you are one of those rare, spiritual bronies who don't check "Show mature". If you check it, Quizzical is no longer in the featured box. That Quizzical has been in the "no mature stories" featured box for hours and only gotten 155 views--and a lot of those views came here from blog posts by me, GhostOfHeraclitus, and Georg--shows how few readers on this site don't check "Show mature". Maybe 1 in 10?
1761126
It's 64 thumbs up to 0 thumbs down. I think it counts as the 1%.
The rescue had better be epic.
soft kitty?! What? That's only for when you're sick!
This is very good.
Hmm. Quiz would probably be good at some geographical surveying.
...Soft kitty? ...I use to sing that to my significant other when she asked me to...
A lot of feels there in that song... a lot of feels.
I read all her lines in a crystal pony voice. Turns out this is adorable.
Poor quiz! I read the first section and almost cried. I know several accountants,engineers, and a lab tech who remind me of her...
I'm so glad she gets a chance to escape emplurgatory.
Note: dimond, i will burn you.
This chapter makes me think of this:
mlkshk.com/r/AOVX
1761676
I was borrowing ben stien
You think, oh thats silly, but it ends up like two best sisters play... You know it just kind of fits?
doc-0g-6s-docs.googleusercontent.com/docs/securesc/0nkrehpitq8hrprgvomgevk6u3h7cq3a/31ncashj9l5sogkai52er3ggljpigdm4/1354953600000/08634185820683155886/08634185820683155886/0ByhhA_EnffW0aFFBMTBGSTVSWlU?e=download&nonce=q1s2gcdgbe43g&user=08634185820683155886&hash=t36hol6mg7pam4d03epdvr7558c0fnit
Well its not a very good pic... And i couldn't make it rotate on my phone... But have some fan art, i really like this OC. Quiz, post Rarity make over.
doc-14-6s-docs.googleusercontent.com/docs/securesc/0nkrehpitq8hrprgvomgevk6u3h7cq3a/hi3gtv27ldfrivm91ergk2q7m2ok7c2d/1354960800000/08634185820683155886/08634185820683155886/0ByhhA_EnffW0SXNJcjF1dmlqdWs?e=download
And yet more fan art done via phone. Sorry, but its snowing here and the power is out.
Well, that's not a nice place to end this. But you've your hooks in me now.