A Drab Little Pony
Quizzical
Chapter 1 – A Drab Little Pony.
Princess Celestia regarded the little pony standing before her. It was a bit disconcerting. Celestia had not thought a little pony could be drab, had not thought that was a quality little ponies could possess. But here she was, standing before Celestia, contradicting her, being drab.
The unicorn filly’s name was Quizzical Greystone, and she was here interviewing for a research assistant’s position.
“I wish to thank the Princesses for receiving me,” said Quizzical. “It is an honor just to be nominated for the post.”
She assumes she’s going to be dismissed, thought Celestia, reading the subtext of Quizzical’s statement. The interview hasn’t even begun and already she assumes she has lost the job. Oh, you poor thing…
Quizzical’s pessimistic attitude surrounded her like a cloud, getting in the way of Celestia warming to her. But that wasn’t what made her drab.
It did not help Celestia’s mood that, out of the corner of her eye, she could see Luna standing off to the side, trying to keep a straight face. This had been Luna’s idea.
“Please, do relax, Quizzical, this final interview will be very informal.” Celestia had believed that, with kindly and courteous treatment, she could make anypony comfortable. But setting this filly at ease just was not going to happen. Perhaps Quizzical’s normal state was ‘paralyzed.’ “Now, tell me about yourself.”
“About me?” This simple question seemed to take the little filly aback. “What do you wish to know, Princess?”
“Well, firstly, do you prefer Quizzical, or Quiz? How should I address you?”
“Either is acceptable to me, Princess,” said Quizzical. Blandly noncommittal, thought Celestia. This contributes to why I think you drab. But that’s not it.
Quizzical had a pale grey coat and a dull grey mane and tail, which she wore unfashionably short and severe. She was small for her age, and slightly built. A pair of glasses in huge black frames barely balanced on her tiny nose. But that wasn’t it, either. Princess Celestia had known ponies who looked much like Quizzical, and she would have called them cute.
“Please, tell me about your family,” said Celestia.
“I come from a long line of stone cutters,” said Quizzical. In fact, she came from one of the finest families of Canterlot. The Greystone quarries had provided most of the stone from which Canterlot was built, going back seven generations. Quizzical’s older brother Chisel would be the eighth. “Sadly, I am not physically suited for quarry work, and levitation is my weakest spell; I cannot move the blocks. Though I love the quarry, it has been necessary for me to find my way elsewhere."
“So you turned to magical studies?”
“Yes, Princess.”
Then there’s your voice, thought Celestia. It wasn’t an unpleasant voice, per se. Perhaps a bit deeper than you would expect from a filly of Quizzical’s age, but soft and clear. The problem was not her voice, but how she used it. To call her voice monotone would be an understatement. The most sensitive device made to examine sounds would register Quizzical’s voice as a single tone. You could not listen to her long and still pay attention. It was almost hypnotic. She must have known this. Quizzical seemed to compensate by never speaking at length, instead only giving short answers whenever possible. Celestia found this sad.
But even this was not what made Quizzical drab.
Celestia still did not know what to make of Quizzical. She leafed idly through Quizzical’s personal file. When in doubt, thought Celestia, make small talk. “Let us see…after magic, your favorite subjects are mathematics and… geology?”
“Yes, Princess.”
There was a long pause.
“Could you elaborate, Dear?” prompted Celestia.
“Oh… yes, of course,” said Quizzical. “I am attracted to math by its clarity and precision. When everything is done properly, the answers are the answers. It is actually quite delightful.”
Somepony should have advised you, thought Celestia, that when you use words such as ‘delightful’ you should try to sound as if you are delighted. “And geology?”
“Oh, that is just exhilarating,” said Quizzical, in no way expressing exhilaration. “You can see the ages in the strata, the time it took to create the layers, the forces at work that made the stone…it is all very exciting.” She stopped and hung her head. “Few, if any, ponies seem to share my enthusiasm. My classmates have summed it up quite succinctly, actually. As they put it, I like numbers and rocks.”
“Well…yes,” said Celestia. “It says here that you were president of the geology club,” The School of Magic has a geology club? thought Celestia.
“Oh, dear, does it say that?” asked Quizzical. “I am sorry, Princess, but I thought that references to clubs with only one member would be deleted."
And Celestia finally knew what it was that made Quizzical seem drab.
Everything.
With love and care we can fix anything, thought Celestia, but how do we fix everything?
But, that really wasn’t it either. Celestia was certain everything couldn’t possibly be wrong with the poor filly.
But she was sure that Quizzical believed it. And that was what made her drab.
“Please excuse me a moment, Quizzical,” said Celestia. “Do relax, or have some refreshment. I need to confer with my sister for a moment. “
Celestia led Luna off to the side of the Grand Throne Room, out of Quizzical’s hearing. Luna had spent the entire interview watching, barely suppressing laughter. This irritated Celestia no end, made worse by the fact that Luna had arranged this interview.
“You told me that you had the perfect candidate, Luna,” grumbled Celestia.
“And I am good for my word,” Luna replied. Only in private conversation with her sister did Luna ever use modern pronouns. At any other time she used the archaic ‘Royal We.’ “Sister, I read Twilight Sparkle’s letter just as you did. She complained that she thought she was growing jaded, that she was too close to the research. Twilight requested a research assistant to apply ‘fresh eyes’ to the study. Well, as far as friendship goes, you will not find a pair of fresher eyes in all Equestria than our little Quizzical.”
“Explain yourself, Lulu,” demanded Celestia, though she knew already where this was going.
“Tia, the filly has no friends. She has never had any,” said Luna, frankly. “She is blessed with none of the skills necessary to win friends. She makes Twilight, as she was when you first sent her to Ponyville, seem like a social butterfly. Quizzical even makes me look like the life of the party!”
“And you think we are doing Quizzical a favor, throwing her in at the deep end?”
“It worked once before,” said Luna, wryly.
“She is half Twilight’s age.”
“Quiz is very precocious.”
Celestia frowned. “None of this convinces me that she is the right pony for us.”
“We have nothing to lose,” insisted Luna. “If Quiz succeeds we all win. If Twilight is dissatisfied with her… well, we will no doubt learn a valuable lesson from Quiz’s failure.”
"You are still not convincing me, Luna.”
“Sister, please,” pleaded Luna, “I am her mentor and I will be responsible for her. Quiz will be no trouble at all. She will report to me; and if it ends badly I will be the one who will go to Ponyville to bring poor Quizzical home. Please trust my judgment.”
“I just need to know one thing,” said Celestia. She went back to where Quiz was waiting. The filly had not moved an inch.
“One final question, Quizzical, dear,” she said. “Please tell me, why do you want this job?”
Quiz paused to consider her words carefully. Clearly her answer was important to her. “I desire work experience, Princess Celestia. While I have excelled at my course study I have never done anything practical. I believe this is something important that I am missing. Because of my youth I am not allowed to student teach…and…there are many reasons why I am not qualified for teaching…” She trailed off, then recovered. “At any rate, there are only two posts available. It is either this, or the Department of Theoretical Magic.”
Celestia cringed inside. She hoped it didn’t show. New employees at the Department of Theoretical Magic begin as “calculators.” They are given small desks in small cubicles where they spend their days completing equations for the department’s senior magicians. After very little time at this lonely, claustrophobic number crunching most ponies will do anything to get noticed and promoted out of the cubicles. Failing that, they usually soon burn out and quit.
But a pony like Quizzical could enter one of those cubicles and effectively disappear. If she took that job she would end up trapped in it for the rest of her working life.
“I sense that I need this job, Princess,” said Quiz.
Princess Celestia gave Quiz her warmest smile and offered the filly her right hoof. “Congratulations, Quizzical. And welcome to friendship research.”
#
Twilight Sparkle regarded the little pony standing before her. It was a bit disconcerting. It almost felt like looking at her younger self in a mirror, but it was the distorted and exaggerated image of a carnival fun house mirror. I was never that bad, thought Twilight, and she immediately felt guilty about the unkind thought.
Step One, settle the little filly in. Check. Step one went very quickly. Twilight had shown Quiz the tiny back room where she would have a bed and a dressing table. Quiz had “unpacked” by dropping her small saddle bag of belongings on the bed. After going over the meal time schedule, Twilight had planned to go on to a discussion of the house rules, but she discovered that they didn’t have any. Living alone with Spike and Owloicious they had never really needed any rules. “We really should sit down and come up with some house rules,” said Twilight. “I’ll make a note of that.”
“Whatever you decide I will agree too, Miss Twilight,” Quiz had assured her.
Twilight had already given up asking Quiz to just call her Twilight. She’ll eventually just stop calling me ‘Miss Twilight’ on her own. Or… not.
Step Two, introduce her to Spike. Check. This vitally important step could have gone better. Spike had been prickly about adding a research assistant from the moment Twilight had suggested it. Meeting Quiz hadn’t helped. Spike was formally polite, and Quiz had been unreadable but polite. Twilight was sure that Spike would come around in time. At least she really, really hoped he would. She caught him muttering under his breath, “Great, now we have two of them!” Twilight chose to ignore this. If Quiz had also heard she didn’t say anything.
Step Three, get to know your new research assistant. Um… yeah.
Twilight thought she and Quiz would get on marvelously, if they could just begin to talk. But where to begin..?
“Quiz, I couldn’t help noticing, you have the most complicated cutie mark I have ever seen,” Twilight finally said. It was two intersecting colored circles. In one circle was an open book, in the other was a blackboard filled with scribbles. Where the circles overlapped was a question mark. “Is that a Venn Diagram?”
“Why yes, yes it is,” said Quiz. Twilight couldn’t tell for certain, but Quiz seemed pleased that she had recognized the mark.
“How did you get it?” asked Twilight.
“Oh, my cutie mark appeared when I created my spell, Miss Twilight,” said Quiz. “But that is not actually a very interesting… ”
“Wait, what?” exclaimed Twilight. “You invented an original spell? Quiz, that’s amazing for a filly your age!”
“No, actually, it is not…”
“Oh, please, show me!” cried Twilight, clapping her hooves.
“You will be disappointed when you see what a silly trifle it is, Miss Twilight.”
“Then a demonstration shouldn’t take any time at all,” said Twilight. “C’mon, show me!”
“Give it up, Kid, Twilight won’t leave you alone until you show her, so show her,” grumbled Spike.
“Very well,” said Quiz. Her horn began to glow, and her brow furrowed with concentration. “I just apply a little power… and point.”
A beam of magic extended from Quiz’s horn, and formed into something, hovering next to Quiz and glowing faintly.
It was a blackboard.
“As you can see,” said Quiz, and her words wrote themselves on the blackboard as she spoke, “This is actually just a variation on an illusion spell, hardly original at all.”
“Oh, this is marvelous, Quiz,” exclaimed Twilight.
Yeah, I guess it’s kinda neat, thought Spike. If you don’t have a real blackboard.
Quiz waved a hoof and the words were erased. New words formed as she continued. “I came up with the idea when I was having difficulty with presentations. Nopony will listen to me for any length of time. But I found that ponies will continue to read along, well after they have begun to ignore me.”
“Well...um...yes...” said Twilight, uncomfortably. Best to move past that subject. “What else can you do with it, Quiz?”
“Anything you can draw can be represented here,” said Quiz. She erased her words and waved at the blackboard some more. She drew X and Y axes, colored bars grew up next to them. “It is quite good for graphics. I have committed several of my favorite graphs to memory and…”
“You have favorite graphs?” exclaimed Spike. “Really?”
“Why… yes… ”said Quiz. “This one of building supply purchases, for example, wonderfully illustrates the fluctuations of the Equestrian economy… ” Quiz trailed off. “Oh. I see your point. Graphs are not of compelling interest to most ponies. That had never occurred to me.”
“Spike!” snapped Twilight, glaring at him.
“What?” Spike answered, shrugging. “She agrees with me.”
Twilight frowned, then turned back to Quiz. “Can you do pictures?”
“I could, if I could draw,” said Quiz. A bit of waving at the blackboard produced a stick figure pony. “I cannot.”
“Oh, well,” said Twilight. “What do you call it, Quiz.”
“Call it?” asked Quiz, puzzled. “Surely you know, Miss Twilight, that a spell is not named until it has passed review and been included in the Grand Grimiore…”
“I am well versed in the review process,” said Twilight, perhaps a bit more sharply than she intended.
“Careful, Quiz,” chortled Spike. “You don’t lecture the boss. She lectures you.”
“That’s enough, Spike,” said Twilight. “Quiz, most unicorns have private names for their spells, before they become official.”
“Do they?” asked Quiz.
“Quiz, have you even published?”
“I have submitted my work for review, Miss Twilight.”
Twilight was aghast. Spell review at the college of magic moved at the speed of glaciers. A unicorn who did not aggressively promote their own work would not see it accepted in their lifetime.
“Have you shown this to Princess Luna, Quiz?”
“Certainly not, Miss Twilight,” said Quiz. “That is not a Royal concern. It would be rude.”
“But the Princess is your mentor… ”
“It is not a promising spell, Miss Twilight, and not worth Princess Luna’s attention,” said Quiz. “It does nothing you could not accomplish with a slate and a box of colored chalk. Actually, you could reproduce most of the spell’s effects with a stick and a bare patch of dirt.”
Hey, you said it, I didn’t, thought Spike.
And that’s that, thought Twilight. This spell is so tied to her identity that it produced her cutie mark, and she dismisses it as worth no more than a stick. Oh, you poor, little filly…
Still, Twilight was beginning to find common ground with Quiz. Maybe…
“Tell me, Quiz,” asked Twilight. “How do you feel about checklists?”
“Oh, I adore checklists,” answered Quiz. “How could anyone with an organized mind not love them?”
Behind her Twilight heard a soft slapping sound that she was sure was Spike palming his face. Twilight ignored him.
“Quiz, you and I are going to get along just splendidly.” Check!
#
Cheerilee regarded the little pony standing before her. It was a bit disconcerting. She had Quizzical’s file open on her desk, and Cheerilee had never read such an extraordinary document.
“Well, Quiz, I must say I have never had such a gifted student as you,” said Cheerilee. “You have already taken and excelled at every course in my curriculum. I can’t help but wonder if you would be better off in some independent study… ”
“Oh, please, no, Miss Cheerilee,” protested Quiz. “School is at the center of a young pony’s social life. If I do not attend I will surely miss something vital to my research.”
“All righty then, Quiz, we’ll give it a try, and I’ll do my best to keep you engaged,” said Cheerilee. There were subjects on Quizzical’s transcript that she had never heard of, and a couple she couldn’t pronounce. Well, won’t this be a challenge! thought Cheerilee. No student ever held terror for Cheerilee.
On the other hoof, Cheerilee realized that she was going to bear witness to Quizzical’s social development. Now that was a little bit intimidating.
Cheerilee paged idly through Quiz’s file. “It says here that you have a brother and a sister.” In fact, one of Quiz’s former teachers had helpfully included photographs of the siblings. Cheerilee looked at the pictures and then up at Quiz, then back at the pictures, then realized she had better turn the page before Quiz realized what she was doing. Oh, dear…thought Cheerilee.
“My older brother, Chisel, will be taking over our family business. He has a very good head, and the quarries will be in good hands with my brother,” said Quiz.
The stallion could also pose for the cover of a romance novel, thought Cheerilee. She had to admit that she would buy that book.
“My baby sister, Delight, is still very young, but she has the potential to accomplish anything. We expect she will marry well, but I strongly doubt that will be all she does,” said Quiz.
And she is the prettiest foal I have ever seen, and this isn’t even a very good photo, thought Cheerilee.
“You sound very proud of them, Quiz,” she said.
“Oh, yes, I am very proud,” said Quiz. “My siblings are extraordinary ponies, Miss Cheerilee.”
And you are the middle child between these two extraordinary ponies, thought Cheerilee. She leafed further through the file. There was a note from Princess Luna, and Cheerilee absently read the heading aloud. “Nicknames?”
She regretted this immediately. ‘Several of Quizzical’s less friendly classmates have christened her with unkind and hurtful nicknames,’ Princess Luna had written. ‘If students begin to use any of the following for Quizzical We must insist that you discourage them most strongly.’
Quiz had, of course, heard. “There is a list of my nicknames? I have acquired quite a few. Perhaps, in the interest of completeness, you should read them out.”
I think that idea is masochistic, thought Cheerilee, but she couldn’t very well just tell Quiz no. She started at the top of Princess Luna’s list. “Bookworm.”
“Oh, yes, I liked that one,” said Quiz. “That was almost affectionate.”
Almost? Cheerilee continued, “The Robot.”
“That amused me,” said Quiz. “To equate me with an unfeeling thing as an attempt to hurt my feelings is a humorous irony.”
Well… we can’t all find the same things funny. She stared at the list for a moment. “They called you ‘Actually’?”
“Oh, yes, Miss Cheerilee,” said Quiz. “I once had the odious personal habit of beginning every sentence with ‘actually.’ I modified every word or phrase that could be with ‘actually.’ Some of my classmates began to keep score. My record is 8 ‘actually’s’ in one sentence. Actually, I appreciated that, the teasing actually helped me to actually stop abusing the word…” Quiz trailed off when she realized what she had just said. “Oh, dear.”
“You’re fine, Quiz, don’t worry about it,” said Cheerilee. And that is enough of that. “We should get you a schedule and your textbooks…”
“There should be one more, Miss Cheerilee,” said Quiz.
“Um…well…yes,” muttered Cheerilee. She didn’t want to read it. “Greystone the Drone.”
“Yes,” said Quiz, sadly. “Sometimes Stone the Drone, for short. Sometimes just Drone. I will admit that did hurt my feelings. I know that I am not pleasant to listen to. It is just being mean to remind me of that.”
“Well, you needn’t worry about that,” said Cheerilee, vehemently. “No one will be calling you names in my school. I won’t stand for it.”
“Thank you, Miss Cheerilee,” said Quiz.
Cheerilee closed Quiz’s file. She wasn’t going to find anything useful there. All of Quiz’s teachers offered assessments of her. Half of them, the more kindly ones, summed her up as ‘brilliant but having trouble adjusting socially’. The other half was less kind, and dismissed Quiz as ‘too smart for her own good, and weird’. Some marveled at Quiz’s ability to observe everything, and others thought this trait was ‘creepy.’ None of them had figured out how to deal with Quizzical.
Now it was Cheerilee’s turn.
“Quiz, I’m determined to make your experience here the best it can be. You’re entitled to my best efforts, and that’s what I promise to give you. I’m not saying it will never be difficult. You are an unusual student, I don’t have to tell you that. But I’m an optimist, and I’ve chosen to regard teaching you as an exciting opportunity.”
“I appreciate your concern, Miss Cheerilee,” said Quiz. “And I shall do my best to be as little trouble as possible.”
And with that they completed the school registration process, and Twilight came to walk Quiz home.
#
“So, what do you think, Quiz?” asked Twilight.
“I do not know how to answer that question, Miss Twilight,” said Quiz. “Could you be more specific?”
“I’m being deliberately vague, Quiz,” said Twilight. “It’s an invitation to answer any way you want.”
“Oh,” said Quiz. “In that case, my answer is that I think I have been blessed with uncommonly good luck.”
“Really?” asked Twilight. Frankly, there was nothing about Quiz that said ‘luck.’ “Tell me about that.”
“I find myself surrounded by wise and kindly adults who are taking an interest in my fate,” said Quiz. “I do not know what I have done to deserve my good fortune, but I appreciate it. It is not the same as friendship, not yet, but it is a good beginning. And it feels good.”
“I’m very happy for you, Quiz,” said Twilight. And maybe someday you’ll stop questioning why you deserve good fortune.
“Unfortunately, it was never the older ponies in my life that worried me,” Quiz went on, sadly. “It is the ponies my own age that frighten me.”
#
Diamond Tiara skipped happily as she went home from school. She had been standing outside an open window at the schoolhouse, what she’d learned about the creepy new filly made her smile.
“’Stone the Drone,’ that’s a good one!” Diamond giggled all the way home.
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
1,041 users online
1,369,533 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
How in the.... Why does she... Amazing, just amazing. You managed to take the absolutely most boring character that ever existed in Equestria, who's special talent is a chalkboard, and whose study focus are dirt and counting dirt, and turn them into a character that is just fascinating. (edited)
To the Feature Box with thee! Let thy creation bask in the warm adoration of uncounted thousands, and let the cries of 'mor! mor!' be heard ringing throughout the land!
Very much deserves a spot on Orient Express Explorers I'm headed over there to give it a nudge.
I've only read one chapter so far, and for that I apologize, but I must write my own story right now. I have hammered the 'like' button with vim and vigor, however, and have even preemptively added the story to my favorites to make sure it doesn't get lost in my Read Later queue. I haven't read enough for a proper review, but let me just say, regarding chapter one, bravo. I look forward to reading the rest.
I see what you did there.
Wonderful. Greystone sounds exceedingly boring and droll, but a great opportunity for conflict. You did well having us pity her without making it blunt. I'll have to continue this later. To the Favorites, so I don't lose you.
Off to the faves you go! Amazing character. I wish to punch anyone who is mean to her.
Poor Quiz. She reminds me of, well, me. And actually, I overuse the word "actually" more than anypony I know, so this fits even better than you think it does.
Duly faved.
I think I like this.
Normally I would see an OC who had enormous talent, but crippling low self esteem like this an attempt to compensate for Sue-ish traits with a big flaw, which in turn would just result in, well, a Sue. Quiz here just goes to show, it's not the qualities a character posses, it's the writing, that determines a character's quality. And the writing is looking pretty good.
Does that make sense?
1758207
Oh wow, that made me laugh. Geology and Mathematics... well done, well done.
Poor quiz! I read the first section and almost cried. I know several accountants,engineers, and a lab tech who remind me of her...
I'm so glad she gets a chance to escape emplurgatory.
Note: dimond, i will burn you.
diamon tiara deserves to die. that is final
The Magic Hobo regarded the little pony standing before him. It was a bit disconcerting.
An excellent beginning to what looks to be a very promising story.
You may be looking for to, in that bit of dialogue.
Carry On
I know she's supposed to be boring, but I like her
Scootaloser regarded the little story in front of him. It was a bit disconcerting. Then he clicked the like button and went to the next chapter.
This is absolutely lovely. I love your writing style and attention to detail. Quiz is just so adorable!
I love this little filly! Quizzical is the cutest thing ever!!!
Great story so far, I usually don't comment until I get to the last updated chapter but, you made her too cute to resist.
Oh I hope this turns out to be a happy story.
Am I the only one that is constantly hoping for horrible things to happen to Diamond Tiara?
She deserves it so much, but so far I've only read one fic where she got what was coming to her.
Edit: I saw the other Diamond hate comments and feel less alone now.
Those may be the best new OC character I've seen all week. I'm glad I took the recommendations I saw about this story and added it to to my Read Immediately list.
This shows a huge amount of potential! I can't wait to read more. :D
Very nice 1st chapter! I shall have to read more of this, it's brilliant!
What a cute little OC!
Am I the only one who thinks that Quiz's voice sounds like Tara Strong's Raven (from Teen Titans) voice?
I'll be putting this on my read list, along with a fave, upvote and a watch.
Hmm.
It's good writing i have found.
II'll be busy for a few hours... hold everything.
Pay attention, there may be a Quiz at the end.
"to"
3774557 or it could be used in this context as "as well" which would use too make sure somethings an actual flaw before pointing it out or you run the risk of becoming a grammar nazi
I finally managed to read this story, and after reading just this first chapter I realized...
Maud Pie is a rip-off of Quizzical.
It's the only logical explanation I have. Sure she's more obsessed with rocks and has less problems with her self-esteem, but aside from that...
So I applaud you for getting your OC into the show, in a manner of speaking.
My immediate thought after the first paragraph was "Someone's going to get the line, 'you're going to have to show me how you do that'". Because really, drab, I mean... that paragraph expresses it perfectly.
1761696
This word, I like it.
Poor dear quiz, if it were up to me she would be spending a lot of time with Many, Many psychiatrists. I used to be very similar in some ways, but two years in west Africa bucked me up nicely. It's amazing what being chased by a crocodile while sloshed from a new cocktail, invented by fellow expats at the mining camp you are doing work experience at, made at using gin, concentrated pineapple juice, some local herbs normally used by shamans for dream walking, and meat extract for bite, all the while carrying a tame west African bush baby on your head, can do for your self esteem.
Welp...
You've got my attention. Let's read on shall we.
This has been sitting in my waiting boxforeverWell, chapter one has captured my attention.
I think you may have created the most unique and compelling OC I have seen in MLP fandom. She is both lovable and heartbreaking, like Twilight's adorkable raised to 11.
May I say this first chapter has grabbed my attention completely, and if the rest of your story(s) maintain this level I'm going to favorite them all!
Onward!
I imagined Quizzical looking a lot like Granite Pie
Quiz reminds me of Maud.
Now here's your review for this chapter!
You know, my Boss calls me that, and the time
For me it's Voyons Voir
Which means Let's see
She reminds me of Maud Pie. But with a difference.
Also, I can't seem to get all of the inflection out of my head cannon when I read her lines.
Stoner the drone reminds me of x6-88
No! Do not do that! If the other party does not elaborate, small talk is most definitely of no help!
Why, though? Because otherwise the other party would be more talkative! Their (lack of) talkativity comes from despising small talk as a time-wasting procedure!
No! Instead of engaging into small talk it is advised to be brief and meaningful. Or, well, to try to befriend the other party.
Maybe, suggest them developing a communication protocol
... Maybe, even documenting said protocol in an RFC 
! It's just some people love technicalities 
!
But, all in all, you should be sincere about your intentions. And try hard. Because the other party is clearly not pursuing the goal of befriending you!