Of Fruit and Eternity
Once upon a time, a long time ago…
When the world was young and the gods walked openly amongst ponies, long before the founding of Equestria, there lived on the world’s highest mountain three great goddesses. Each a mare of unparalleled beauty and grace, they ruled over all they saw with wisdom and benevolence. Under their care, the ponies of that land prospered and grew in knowledge and power. For many seasons, all was well.
Now, it came to pass that one dark day a great wind arrived from the far east, bearing with it a mischievous spirit of the foulest chaos. When his eyes beheld the peaceful land of the goddesses, he was incensed.
“Now,” said he to himself. “This will do not at all. Behold, the ponies here are happy and harmonious. They mock me with their peace and plenty, and give me not my rightful due. Therefore I shall unleash my wrath against them, and they shall know discord.”
So saying, the spirit took form and walked hidden amongst the ponies of the land, seeking always to use his power to spread disharmony, destroy unity, and corrupt the ponies for his own wicked amusement. Yet, at every turn, the spirit found himself opposed by the divine magicks of the goddesses, and though he was the mightiest of all his kin he prevailed not against them. Wherever he went he found the goddesses waiting for him, and he was smitten into the ground by their majesty a thousand times and more.
But the spirit was cunning. Knowing then that he could not achieve victory by force of arms, he sought instead a way to break the harmony of the three, that they might quarrel and bicker while he spread his chaos throughout the land without check or end. For forty days and forty nights did he spy on their mountain in the form of a great eagle, until at last he found that each of the three harbored a secret vanity. For, though they all claimed to be equals, in her heart each goddess believed herself the fairest of them all, irresistible to any who saw her.
At this revelation, he cackled with malicious glee, devising a plan to spread his discord through the gods themselves. The very next day, he cloaked himself in the form of a humble supplicant and climbed the monstrous mountain, a small chest of exquisite gold and silver atop his back. When at last he reached the summit, he approached the grand temple wherein the sacred trio made their abode. Entering therein, the spirit found himself before the three great thrones of the divinities.
“Hark, mortal!” said one goddess. “Wherefore dost thou come before us? What wouldst thou ask of thy goddesses?”
“I ask nothing, oh most magnificent of all the divines,” said the spirit, “Save that ye recieve this humble token of gratitude from a humble pony of the earth: the firstfruit of all the land.”
His head bowed low, the spirit removed the chest from where it sat and opened it at the hooves of the goddesses. Inside was a lustrous golden apple of peerless comeliness, delicate and polished. In truth, it was the firstfruit of a tree of chaos, taken from his homeland, and its bounteous shine brought forth irresistible desire from the hearts of all who saw it.
“For the fairest goddess,” said the spirit with a bow, and was gone.
Now, each of the three goddesses treasured in her heart the notion that she was the fairest, and that the exquisite fruit was thus meant for her and her alone. At the same moment, each reached forth to claim the offered bounty. Their hooves met over the treasure, and for a moment all was silence.
“Yon stallion saith that the apple twas meant for the fairest,” said the goddess of the day. “Certainly, he speaketh of us.”
“Nay!” said the goddess of the night. “Thou wouldst have to be unsighted to believe that he spake of ought but us!”
“Then ye are fools both, if ye truly think such,” said the goddess of love. “For the fairest of all can be naught but us!”
With such vain thoughts foremost in their minds, the three began to squabble and quarrel over which should have the golden fruit, while the spirit watched with impish delight. The spirit laughed at the foolishness of his foes, and, departing the mountain, did go forth across all the lands of the goddesses to wreak havoc. This time, there were none to oppose him, for the goddesses, each caught in the net of her own conceitedness, would not cease their sparring to claim the prize with which they were so taken.
So it was that the ponies of the land fell into strife and disharmony, while the spirit reveled in his triumph. The earth and sky moaned under the unnatural burden as brother fought brother, sister fought sister, parent fought child, and all forgot the teachings of those who had once ruled over them.
Meanwhile, the goddesses found that they could reach no agreement among the three, for none was willing to give up her pride for the others. Alone, none could hope to prevail against the spirit of chaos, but so enthralled were they by the apple that not one was willing to sally forth against him till the matter was settled. At last, the groans and pleas of the ponies below became too much for the goddesses to bear, and it was decided that the issue must be resolved by one not among them, that they might smite the foe together once more.
The three sisters sought judgment from their brethren amongst the gods, but none were found to be willing. Not their brother, god of the sea, not their sister, goddess of the wind, not their father, god of the earth, not their mother, goddess of skies, nor were any others found in the courts of divinity willing to settle the question. All feared the wrath of two not chosen too greatly to lend aid, for by this time the vanity of the goddesses had acquired a great and terrible repute.
“Now,” said the goddesses to one another, “if our kin the gods will not determine a solution to the controversy, we must seek an arbiter in the world of mortals.”
So saying, the three peered down from their great mountain, and espied climbing upon its slopes a stallion. A handsome colt in the prime of his youth, the three agreed that he looked to be an exemplary appraiser of loveliness in mares.
“So,” said they to each other, “we shall give the matter over to the stallion to settle, and those not chosen shall acquiesce to the verdict rendered. Then, as one we shall chasten the spirit of chaos once more, and this time bind him within an inescapable prison, that he might torment our ponies no longer.”
When all had concurred, the three divines appeared before the stallion, who abased himself before them.
“Oh great goddesses,” said he. “I come to implore your aid. Our lands are riven with strife, our crops wither and rot, and now mine own tender young sister is stricken down and bedridden with plague. Please, I beg of ye: help us, for we can do naught against the spirit of disharmony without ye.”
“Calm thyself,” said the goddess of the day. “We shall aid thee, but first thou must do us a service.”
“Anything,” declared the desperate stallion, looking boldly into the goddesses’ faces. “Merely deliver us from this discord, and I shall give thee I all I have.”
“We seek neither thy goods nor thy years of servitude, only thine adjudication on a strife that has long vexed us,” replied the goddess of the night.
“Name your concern, oh goddesses” said the stallion. “And I shall give unto ye my finest verdict.”
“This apple,” said the goddess of love, causing the golden fruit to appear in the stallion’s grasp. “’Tis meant for the fairest of us three. But none can say which that is, and we would not leave without determining which of us is in truth the greatest in beauty. Therefore, thou must choose for us who is the most lovely.”
“Will ye swear not to harm my family if I choose thee not?” asked he of the divines.
“We so swear,” they agreed, and the stallion accepted the goddesses’ task.
But very soon he came to a realization: each of the goddesses possessed a beauty beyond the ken of mortals, and he truly found neither flaw nor blemish in any of the three. He feared their wrath should he choose without being certain, and so could not break the silence for some time.
“Perhaps,” said the goddess of the night after some time had passed. “An inducement? If thou wilt choose us, we will make of thee a great king, conqueror of all thou seest and undisputed ruler amongst ponies. Thy royal line shall endure a thousand generations and more, and thy descendants shall outnumber the very stars themselves.”
So saying, the goddess filled the stallion’s head with visions. He saw a thousand thousand armored stallions prostrate themselves at his hooves. He saw the most beautiful mares of all the land come before him and fight one another for a single night in his bed. He saw himself in a great palace, fit almost for the gods themselves. He saw an unbroken dynasty of rulers stretching as far towards the horizon as his eyes could perceive.
“If thou wishest to play that game,” said the goddess of the day, approaching the stallion. “We offer thee in return for thy choosing of us the wisdom and magical might of the world. Thou shalt be renowned throughout all the ages as the greatest scholar in the world, fountain of wisdom and learning. A thousand years hence, ponies will hail thine incomparable greatness and beg all the gods for but a fraction of it.”
So saying, the goddess filled the stallion’s head with visions. He saw himself astride the world as a titan of magical power, the earth and skies bowing to his will. He saw statues and monuments raised in his name, exalting his glory and proclaiming for the entire world his achievements. He saw his merest works treasured more than vast piles of dragon gold long after his death.
“If ye are resorting to crude bribery…” scolded the goddess of love, before turning to the stallion. “We offer thee this: a love eternal, pure and unsullied. Choose she for whom thy heart burneth, and she shall be thine, and thou hers, for always and eternity. Never shall the fires of your passions for one another burn out, nor shall anything drive you apart, in this life or in any other.”
So saying, the goddess stepped back with the others and smiled. Each was confident that her gift was the evidently superior one, and that surely this mortal could not help but gift to them the apple they had so long quarreled over.
Now, this stallion was a young colt, and the fires of youth yet burned hot in him. He did not hunger for conquest and domination as some do, nor were his thoughts turned to wisdom or a legacy left behind after death. But the love of a beautiful mare… that he did know, and craved for himself.
At last reaching a decision, the stallion bowed his head and offered the lustrous fruit to the goddess of love. “For thee, oh fairest of all the divines.”
A victorious smile on her face, the goddess reached out to claim her prize. She took the apple from the mortal, ignoring the baleful glares of the other two. The stallion cowered at the menacing looks from the goddesses whose offers he had passed by, but the goddess of love merely laughed gently, and he found himself back at his home, the goddess beside him.
“A wise choice, mortal,” said she. “Thou knowest well that the value of love is far beyond that of fleeting power or dusty wisdom. Now, we must go to smite the spirit of chaos for his crimes, but first, name she who it is thou wouldst have for thyself.”
The stallion hesitated, but with the incomparable beauty of the goddess before him, he could think of only one mare whom he burned for.
“Tis thee, goddess,” he said at last.
Melodious laughter echoed throughout the land, for every creature to hear.
“Clever mortal,” said she at length. “So be it.”
And so it was that mortal and goddess were joined together. Many and varied were their adventures over the years, and even as the stallion grew old, the goddess’s promise endured. Some say that the two frolic together amongst the heavens. Others claim that they still walk among ponies to this very day.
“The end,” said Princess Cadence, shutting the book.
“That’s it?” said the small lavender filly called Twilight Sparkle with a yawn. “Booooring.”
“Aw, you didn’t like it?” her foalsitter frowned. “You asked for a classic tonight.”
“Questionable plot, unsatisfactory ending, evident mathematical deficiencies in the authorship, and a bunch of lovey-dovey mush.” Twilight stuck her short filly tongue out. “Who would want that? Colts have cooties. Bleh.”
Cadence giggled at the cute little expression of distaste.
“I mean, come on, more descendants than the stars?” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Do you know how many stars there are in our galaxy alone? Factor in all those that we can’t see from here, and those whose light has yet to reach us, and you’d have far more foals than our planet could ever hope to support. All that from one stallion?”
“He would have had a goddess helping him,” Cadence reminded the filly.
“Even a god couldn’t pay that much child support,” Twilight argued. “And don’t get me started on how--” she stopped for a sudden yawn. “Dumb the stallion’s choice was. Obviously he should have picked the day goddess’s offer. Being the greatest sage of all time beats out everything else by a mile.”
“I dunno, Twily,” came a new voice from the bedroom’s door. Shining Armor, just back home from his part-time job as a camp counselor, stepped into his little sister’s bedroom to tuck her in.
“Yeah, whatever…” the sleepy little filly mumbled as she was methodically eased into bed by the two ponies, shutting her eyes almost the moment her head touched pillow.
Shining looked at his marefriend and nuzzled her gently.
“I think he made a great choice.”
Cadence blushed.
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derp.
4987131
Fixed.
So, what'd you think of the actual story?
A nice take on an old Grecian tale.
Eh.... I don't really like it but I can't say why, It just doesn't appeal to me. However it was well written in the grammatical and imagery sense so I'll give you a thumbs up.
All in all, a well made work of elevated prose. There were a few odd choices of words here and there, which almost seem to bastardize the style, seeing as this appeared to be broadly mirroring the Greeks' styles, though it contained elements of Hebrew as well as middle English origin. Because you haven't designated anything about the audience for which this myth was written, it is difficult to pass an opinion on it. Nonetheless, what surprises me is the particular spin you put on the Judgement of Paris. The localization of myths has always been common, and so non-fundamental inconsistencies usually appear between retellings in different cultures, but I am curious as to why you chose to alter this particular myth. The Judgement of Paris is a story that founds the identity of Greekness for the ancient Greeks. In the context of our fandom, though, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. The moral of the story seems to be that Love is the most highly desired acquisition at first glance; however, the text clearly points out that the stallion is young when he makes his decision. Furthermore, Discord's plan to spread chaos seems only tangential to the story, and his attack on the mortals could have been left out, much like Eris does in the original myth, when she simply wrote kallistei on the apple and immediately ran off after tossing it to the goddesses.
4987298
Honestly, you probably put more thought into it than I did. I write primarily for my own edification and/or amusement, as the inspiration strikes me. I simply decided this seemed like a decent story to write about when I got up yesterday and went ahead and did it. I cut out the war because that seemed too dark for the mood I wanted.
As to the style, I was simply going for a more old-timey feel, based more on my general recollections of mythologies that I've read than any one particular style. The Middle English is based on Luna's manner of speaking when she first returned.
4987252
Well, for starters, the Department of Redundancy Department called, and said they wanted you to chose either "Once upon a time" or "A long time ago."
Beyond that... damn. I really, really enjoyed this one. The Ye Olde English was a great touch. Someone above mentioned a Greek myth, but it honestly feels more like an Old Testament tale, very Job-ish in its moral and flowery prose.
Headcanon-wise, I dislike the idea of Cadance—and by extension, Twilight—being immortal goddess like Celestia and Luna, but the ending with Shining Armor made me hnngggghh a bit. Of course, you left the ending ambiguous enough that the reader can fill in the blanks on whether it's actually Shining and Cadance, which I liked. While I do dislike the mentioned headcanon, The concept of an undying, everlasting love is the kind of thing that makes me feel like a kid again, romantic and fantastic. Could it be? That Shining is a countless-times reborn spirit of that original stallion? That the strength of their love was so strong that even death holds no sway over him? And that every time he dies, Cadance has to seek him out again. And what if she doesn't find him? How many stallions have grown old and died with a strange feeling of emptiness, a gnawing hunger for something that no food can sate, no drink can quench, and no vice can fill? And what of her? Roaming the world for countless ages, seeking out the love she promised herself to? How low must she sink when centuries pass and she does not find her mate? And what joy and rapturous high must she feel when she wanders into a town and see that little glint in the eye of some young stallion, who upon seeing her, is enraptured by some undying force?
Heh, sorry. I'm a hopeless romantic.
Also, when little Twily said, "Colts have cooties," I dieded a bit from beetus.
All told, this was a very nice little tale, and I wouldn't mind more. Take it away, Best Doctor!
static.tumblr.com/u65wscq/7aGltj5wj/fantastic_ninth_doctor.gif
Hehehehe hahahah! I love it!
4987433
Like I said earlier, the goal with the prose was to create the feel of the classic books of mythology that I've read, including the Bible. So, really, it could be taken for any of them in prosaic style. It's just meant to sound like something somepony would put into such an in-universe book, which Cadence reads to lil' Twily.
I assume "hnngggghh" means you thought that bit was cute? 'Twas intended to garner such a reaction.
So you'd like to see some more of that book of myths, perhaps containing some adventures of the stallion and goddess?
And thanks for being so complimentary.
Hah, I loved it! Especially the "future-day" part, where it's revealed Cadence is telling "her" story to filly Twilight.
Mayhaps a sequel where it is revealed Shining is a reincarnation or something of that clever mortal?
Here's an idea: Cut the apple in three pieces, give a piece to each goddess, and say they're equal, but different. Better yet, destroy the stupid thing, tell the goddesses to get off their fat flanks and help the poor people for crying out loud. Or give it to someone who is actually the fairest in the land, in terms of judgement, rather than fleeting beauty....
A satisfactory retelling of a classic tale in a pony light. I shall give you my upward thumb!
It also a nice change from the "And Shining Armor died and Cadance was sad forever" stories.
5016543
Don't mean to toot my own horn too much, but if you like Shining/Cadence stories where immortality comes up beyond the usual "Shining dies" plots, might I suggest my own Together Forever?
Thanks!
5012606
5017647
5017852
The stallion did make them promise not to hurt his family first (which seems to have been the impetus for his climbing the mountain at all), and judging by the ending the whole thing seems to have worked out pretty well for him.
5018043
Fortunately, the goddess of love lacked a betrothed to tick off by stealing her away, so no war.
There are no rules anywhere. The Goddess Prevails. Five tons of flax. A Discordian is prohibited from believing what he or she reads. Fnord.
5016543
Are they really that common.... I guess there's so many stories and I've just not paid attention to any Cadence ones.
That said the "burden of the immortal" plots are probably 7% of the fics on this site. :P
5017738
In the immortal words of Thadius0, author of Headless, Not Heartless,
Plus, I mean, for crying out loud, if they're so "Great And Powerful," (pardon, my Trixie, but it seems like this is the only way that this point can be made with enough lasting impact here,) they could literally make millions of those golden apples for themselves, and for goddesses who literally own everything, they're getting so riled up over one measly little apple, all for the sake of stroking their own egos? Plus, two out of three of them would still be ticked off enough to smite the guy, his family, his descendants and what have you, also swearing not to doesn't mean jack, as those have been broken before, and those gods are always going back on their words, for no other reason than their own selfishness and pride, and it's up to us mortals to have to deal with the consequences of their actions. I for one, would be a little sick of playing their little games.To quote Batman from "Brave and The Bold"
5020311
Easy to say from behind a computer. Far harder to actually do. Most would seek the preservation of their own above total godless freedom, and those who didn't would find themselves on the losing end of natural selection. In any case, in this myth death doesn't release a pony from the gods, just sends them to the goddesses' brother, the god of death.
In the interests of fairness, it should be noted that the apple in question is definitely magic, and it is supposed to be implied to be casting a spell on all three goddesses, similar to how Rarity was made to fall for Tom. They may not entirely have been able to help themselves.
Judging by the ending, things work out far better for the stallion than they did for his counterpart in the original version. He went out looking for help for his sister, and came back having acquired not only that, but also a powerful and eternally beautiful marefriend with an endless stake in his preservation. Not bad, considering all the original got was his city sacked.
5020450
True, true, all valid points, however, not entirely infallible or without refute. But I'll leave it at that, I've got other things to do at the moment...
An excellent adaptation of the opening chapters of the Iliad. I bow before such un-formulaic excellence.
That was fantastic. I do believe that I'll be looking at more of your stories.
you got a fav and a like
probably a follow too :p
5020311 The power of a god to a non-believer?
Well, that depends... are you talking about a mythical god, or REAL one.
You see, a REAL LIFE ACTUALLY EXISTING GOD who's a total dick would blast the non-believer into atoms.
So, yeah, that's the power of a god to a non-believer in a literal sense.
That is a quote stemming from the notion that there are no real gods, and thus an unbeliever is unaffected by the belief system. It has no bearing whatsoever on a story populated by being with actual god-like powers.
5017738 My family is dead... So I pick none of you. Yer all greedy vain skanks unworthy of your power. You threw all the world into chaos merely out of sheer vanity. In my eyes, you're all as hideous and odious as the foulest of demons. (Then he guts himself and stab himself through both eyes with icepicks).
*so dark...*
(Alondro's story gets 50 million likes in 10 seconds flat... because grimdark.)
4988121 Can't be the Bible.
The world didn't end in fire and brimstone!
That was very entertaining even knowing what was coming.
My only criticism is that maybe the different princesses should have had different dialects instead of all talking like Luna, although at least for this fic it's totally justified.
Also I was waiting for him to take Cadence's boon then choose Luna or Celestia
Crap, I read that as something else. Better go clean my brain for that offense.
Good work!
So how does the Troten War end? Seems a wooden horse would be off putting. Perhaps a wooden Diamond Dog. And of course at some point the famous heroic mare, Archlilly would fall due to her mortal hoof. Hmmm what would be pony versions of the other Greek heros be named?
Hehe, is this from The Trojan War story?
So Shining is thousands of years old? Are you kidding me? That's amazing. :D Good job on this!
That should just be 'was', not 'twas'.
5261674
The ending is intentionally ambiguous, as is the exact correlation of the story and the actual events in the ancient past. But that is certainly one interpretation.
5262823
Good on you for even leaving it open to interpretation, though, seriously. :)
This is one of my favorite stories from mythology
I especially liked the whole 'Apple of Discord' bit. No wars though...that's a pity...
Anyway! Everything else was good, I liked the 'modern
englishequuish' that the 'Mighty Three' used. I loved this entirely, and the end, too, was fantastic how you ended it as a story for Twilight.Well, this is probably the most perfect story I've ever read. Can I buy you tea sometime? I'd love to talk to you at great length about where you draw inspiration from, what your writing process is, and how you view this whole world of ponies. Maybe a message would just be better, but that could very easily turn into an impenetrable wall of text.
Excellent job. I'm going to dissect the hell out of this story if I ever decide to do write some lore myself.
I have, from the day I first read and learned about Greek/Roman mythology, to this day and probably till my final hours, have adored the classic stories and tales of myth and legend. You captured this old tale and brought a wonderful shine to it. I especially love the open ending, with the idea that they have possibly been a couple over the ages.
Rewording the "Judgement of Paris," adding ponies, and finishing it off with a bit of Slice of Life at the end does not mean you've really done anything with the concept beyond what the original tale had already done.
I'll admit, the idea of Shining armor's role was interesting, but the appeal is ruined by the fact that the story is, as mentioned before, little more than a rewording of a tale from Greek mythology. There's a great difference between a story that is very clearly inspired and influenced by another, and a story that is just a carbon copy with a few minor edits. The former I can appreciate, because it uses the inspiration merely as a foundation to tell something new.
Writing is solid, but the content is void. It's neat gift wrapping worn by an empty box.
5361490
Feel free to message me if you want to talk.
5361717
Thank you!
5362022
I thought I brought a reasonably fresh twist on the situation, but I suppose it won't be everyone's cup of tea. I appreciate you taking the time to comment on why you didn't like it, at least.
5362576
There was this short story I read a long time ago (can't find it anywhere today), which I could best summarize as "the defenders Troy falling for the 'Trojan Horse' trick a second time." My memories of it are hazy, but here's a quick summary anyway:
Now that is what I would call a "new take on the same story." It is neither an (almost) verbatim copy of the events, nor does it deliver the same message. To be fair, the latter applies to your own fic as well, but to me, it's still just "Judgement of Paris with a different ending." Sure, the ending may be different, but you still get the same story beforehand instead of a different story altogether.
I apologize for being harsh. It's just a trend I'm seeing a lot lately, and it's making me lash out...
Have a ribbon:
i.imgur.com/j8cG26r.png
Fantastic! The story is amazingly well-written, and that ending! Wow! I'm sort of speechless, honestly. Thank you for this, it was magnificent.
5364636
I win!
5364706
I always appreciate flattery.
Twilight's Library brought me here. And this. Was. Awesome!
:)
Beautiful.
I could have sworn I already commented on this story.
To be honest I had no idea this was some kind of retelling of a Greek myth—not that knowing that takes away from the story. It was very much an appealing and in-character review of what the Princesses might actually have done back when they were immortal fairy tale creatures... curse the show for leaving us hanging on whether or not that's true! I don't usually cotton to the idea of them being goddesses, but wandering god-like figures for early ponies? I can certainly get behind that. Either way, it was subtle and fun world building.
It was cute, creative, and ended on a note that fits Shining and Cadance perfectly. Those two do need more love. The only thing I can say that I didn't like was that a couple times the writing veered into sounding a little too stilted, but it didn't do that nearly enough for me not to fave the story so I can hold it up to others as an example later!
Thank you very much for giving us the gift of this story.
Totally not jealous of
Shining Armorthe stallion from the story.In my opinion, the stallion should of either
1 split the apple up so they each got part of it
Or
2 got rid of it all together - if they couldn't decide between them who was meant to have it, then none of them were meant to have it
Cute story though
i like the story
You can has review!