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In the midst of Equestria's most recent age of peace, just after Princess Celestia puts the finishing touches on her latest gift to her subjects, Twilight Sparkle appears with a strange question about an obscure beast. It's obvious that something else is bothering Celestia's most faithful student, but what?
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I don't want to favorite this. I really don't. But I have to. Because this is heartbreakingly brilliant.
Fuck you.
Ouch...
Amazing.
You really capture the helplessness of Twilight in this situation. I can't imagine the damage she suffers to her psyche to keep revisiting her dead friend and mentor daily, only for them not to remember. In many ways this story is a great analogy for Alzheimer's.
Fantastic stuff. You actually upset me. Have a favorite
Pity that she never finds someone to fix it.
Oh wow. That was great! Damn fine story here!
But hey, I know how at least one of her problems can be fixed: Just install more RAM.
But in seriousness, my only question is why Twilight didn't find a way to expand the gem capacity, but I'll assume she has indeed tried everything with over 2.5 hundred visits
Insta like, insta fav.
5126262
Exactly what I was thinking. A close relative of mine has Pick's disease (a disease similar to Alzheimer's but less studied) and it's heart-wrenching watching them go through the good days, and then the bad.
Dis was gud. Definetly gud.
Now I wanna know what happened outside that room. Dammit.
It took me a while to read this story, I kept getting put off but...
There is no way the story front page thing does this story justice.
I often see others say how some fics make them cry, but I've never, EVER had that happen to me.
This story came damn well close, the emotion here is simply beautiful, and there aren't enough words to describe how much I love this.
Favourited, now and forever.
It's an interesting idea, but c'mon: after two-hundred-and-eighty-six go throughs of anything, you get inured to it. Really, Twi' should just get in, get the info she wants, and get out with no fuss. If it was, say, one of the first few occurences it'd be better, but you're just belabouring the point now.
5136118
Yeah, in hindsight, a smaller number of visits and a shorter period of time would have fit better with how Twilight behaves.
Had I trusted myself to write this as a longer story, I could have made it a series of interviews where the numbness you mention gradually sets in, alongside more hints about what's going on in the outside world.
Now I kind of wish I'd done that, in spite my track record on finishing multi-chapter stories.
Thank you for your critique!
But the question wasn't answered--what happened to Celestia?
Except that she's not her faithful student
Yay I was up vote 100, you earned it!
This reminds me of a chapter in Equestria's Twilight, where Twilight goes insane and builds a massive crystal array under a mountain that becomes a self improving AI Celestia after she dies, its to bad the story was abandoned.
5139646
Thanks for that 100th upvote, and thank you everyone else who voted, tracked and favorited this little fic! It's very gratifying to see this in the popular stories list; when I hit 'submit', I had no idea that Souvenir would be this well-received.
Thank you all again for reading. I'm glad I was able to entertain you.
Original, yet I have the feeling as if I've already found this premise somewhere else... HMMMMmmm...
5136506
It's not really a critique. It's just a small flaw in an otherwise good story.
i loved every little bit of this, absolutely brilliant. 10/10
god damn almost made me cry.
Seriously, good job.
5144002
I haven't seen the premise on this site, (though I'm sure it's around here somewhere) but Souvenir was mostly inspired by an old sci-fi short story in Gene Wolfe's Storeys From the Old Hotel called "The Packerhaus Method". It's creepy horror instead of a tear-jerker, but the main idea is similar.
I would encourage you to check it out, even if having read Souvenir takes away some of its punch. In fact, I recommend all of Wolfe's stuff. He's my favorite living author.
... I just don't know how to properly phrase all of what's goin' through my head right now about this story. Just... Good job.
Cool. Weird. Love it!
Now this is a story that makes you think.
Very different from anything I imagined, in a very good way. My only regret is that we have no idea what happened to Celestia, Luna, Canterlot and Equestria. It has to be something spectacularly bad, just going by the appearance of Twilight's guards and what we can gather from the conversation. Sometimes it's harder not knowing, because I can imagine terrible, heartbreaking things.
You can has review!
This is absolutely masterful. Well done.
This was really amazing.
I found this and a few others I forgot to write down, unfortunately. :/
This was excellent
While the two are obviously two different stories of different origins, this does have a similar premise to Theory by SS&E. This though, I feel has better execution and a heart-dropping brilliance about it.
While I liked the general premise and the writing, I think that this story lacked subtlety, to the point that it actually hurt the narrative and the overall effect. The issue isn't that it is too obvious, but that it has a tendency to overexplain certain things, in a way that felt kinda artifical.
Also, I don't think that Celestia's reaction fits with how Twilight talks about her situation. She is controlled, momentarily shocked by the revelation, and then ok with the whole thing. Given that, it seems strange that Twilight would be that shaken up, and lost importantly, that she wouldn't actually be honest from the get go.
Welp, time to go talk to Davy Jones about that whole heart removal thing he did because that hurt.
6604878 I concur with this.
Also, I completely lost touch with the narrative at the PoV-flip. I'm increasingly convinced that people should never try writing anything other than strict 3rd limited or entirely impersonal 3rd. This omniscient stuff never seems to work right.
Twilight says that she has to watch Celestia's heart break every time, but the narrative paints a completely different characterisation. It's hard not to mark down a story that feels like it contradicts itself. But mostly I just think the writing needed to be tighter to carry the premise.
Ah, I can see why Royal Canterlot Library featured this! Admittedly I made it part-way into the interview (but wisely decided to read the story before I reached any spoilers). I very much enjoyed the twist and, like as was said in the article, that you indeed told such a large story just from that room.
I especially loved the parts where you re-examined what she Celestia saw around her just after that twist, since you managed to tell another story entirely in those few paragraphs. I absolutely adore stories that do this. Brrrrrr....
Have an upvote and a favorite, my good writer.
Holy mother of...
This is excellent.
Are you planning a continuation of any kind, maybe some background?
Twilight would probably save herself a lot of heartbreak if she simply told echo-Celestia what she was from the beginning of the conversation(s), instead of playing the painful game of trying to deny it.
Gold star for stabbing me in the feels.
I was also pointed here by the RCL review, and enjoyed the story a lot. Even knowing there was a twist, I was fooled by the way the story went at first, and the reveal was genuinely poignant.
...that was a really good story. Well done.
It's like having a love one that has alzheimers.
Sad to say, I know how this feels...
Poor Twilight and Celestia I don't know if I could handle that it must be heart breaking to forget but for Twilight to remember... *shivers*
Well done.
Twilight... The SATA cable is loose. Reseat it, reboot to clear the RAM, and you're good.
This did not head where I thought it would head. Really enjoyed it.
Oddly enough I had an inkling of where this was going to go... but definitely not the way you told this story! Well done!
The emerald is a big ROM-Chip (Read-Only Memory). It must also be capable of computation and have some volatile memory, but it forgets everything new when it reboots.
Great concept, good execution. Nice job not going into unnecessary detail. Could use a Dark tag.
6611693 Uuhhh... Ithink you mean RAM (Random Access Memory)... That's the one that forgets everything when it powers down... ROM is permanent, long-term memory.
6615853
Mostly it is ROM with some computation and Ram. What it sorely needs is writable mass storage. Let me explain:
It has most or all of the memories of Princess Celestia as Read-Only. It can compute (Princess Celestia can think). It has RAM (Princess Celestia has short-term memory). Unfortunately, it does not have writable mass-storage (she cannot write her short-term memory to long-term memory, but simply forgets everything in short-term memory when she shuts down or reboots.
Imagine a computer with a fast processor, lots of RAM, but instead of a Hard Drive or Flash Memory, has its OS and Applications on a BluRayROM. You can do all sorts of cool things with the computer, but when it shuts down or reboots, you will loose all of your work. Every reboot will put the computer back into its initial state with all changes lost. The Giant Emerald is just like that computer.
6616506
I see what you mean.
6617625
An interesting question is "¿Why did Princess Celestia make the Emerald this way?". I have an hypothesis:
Princess Celestia probably feared accidental overwriting. Unfortunately, being a big block of crystal makes it difficult to modify. Princess Twilight Sparkle, to date, has not managed to modify the Emerald without damaging it.
Some ponies with brain-injuries can no longer transfer information from short-memory to long-term memory. Effectively, this is how Princess Celestia is.
Wow. We'll done! It took me a bit longer than it should have to get what was going on. But gosh this was good. Thanks for sharing.