• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen January 1st

Feo Takahari


Mainly an editor. Currently working for Rakni.

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The base and the glass are no different from any other snow globe, but it holds an endless void inside it. When two young sisters jokingly request for it to show them its magic, it gives them the power to fill it as they please. Within that dimension, they might as well be goddesses--but to the world at large, they're still confused, frightened children.

The younger sister, bitter and lonely, thinks it's a chance to make a better world than our own. The elder sister just feels responsible for protecting the innocent pastel quadrupeds they've created. But can two children really be the goddesses the pony race needs? And when monsters begin to threaten the ponies, what must the sisters sacrifice to create the Equestria they dream of?

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 64 )

This is actually pretty interesting. Color me intrigued good sir/madam, you've earned yourself a favorite. :twilightsmile:

A counterargument you say.

~ So what 12 year old in the age of the internet doesn't know about drugs? :D

4060398

I just meant that she hadn't personally used them.

As for "counterargument," that'll become more apparent as the story goes on. Let's just say there's a reason for the Tragedy tag. (Though there's more I want to do here than just respond to your story . . .)

Huh. Well, I'm certainly intrigued. This actually explains quite a lot about Equestria. I'm looking forward to more.

Also, Polly and Annie. I see what you may have done there.

Sure, I'll come on board as an editor!

I wanna be a god too . . . :pinkiecrazy:

4087657 Godhood is a crappy occupation.
Now, God's advisor on the other hand...

The horrors of Pony Kingdom should never be witnessed by those with weak constitution. :pinkiesick:

Interesting that you cut that last scene, so I assume that's reserved for the next chapter?

4116659 Yeah, the next chapter is really short, and this one was getting too long.

BTW, if anyone's wondering what the hell I was referencing . . . there are worse ways to waste 20 minutes.

Oh my god.
On one hand, Annie is getting obsessed.
On the other, she has every right to be; shit, she has a responsibility! I know i'd be obsessed as balls if something like this happened to me.

To paraphrase Gilbert and Sullivan, a goddess's lot is not a happy one. Especially not for the non-omniscient and monopresent. A damaged creator trying to make a perfect world is not going to end well. I both dread and anticipate seeing how it goes wrong.

Well, I didn't see that coming. Interesting answer to "Can God create a rock so heavy He can't lift it?" Or, in this case, "Can the Goddesses create rocks so powerful they can do what They can't?" It seems that, as with infinity, there are various levels of omnipotence. It's just that the differences only really matter when those omnipotences are compared against one another.

Still, that leaves a nagging question: who made Discord? Presumably the same person who created the windigoes... but who is that?

Eagerly looking forward to more.

Holy shit.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
You weren't kidding when you brought out the tragedy tag, huh?

It's funny you know? My cat named Annie was euthanized just the other week, and yet I didn't make a comparison when editing this. :unsuresweetie:

I've just got to take a minute here to say that this is probably one of the most captivating stories I've read. You've given the characters such personality and feelings that the reader (me) can relate to them on such a powerfully emotional level. It's not easy taking something like FiM, which has pre-established characters and stories, and build something like THIS! This really feels like something written by the late and great C.S. Lewis! :raritywink: You really need to keep it up! You've got a favorite, a thumbs up, a follow and... a mustache. :moustache: ...just cause! :twilightblush:

Ah. I considered the subconscious creation hypothesis before. Should've known.

And that ending... :fluttershyouch:
In any case, I look forward to more. Who knows? Maybe the Rainbow Beam of Fix Everything™ can reassemble the pieces. (Hey, I can hope.)

Well, it's finally over. It was a pleasure to work with you, miss. :raritywink:

A very nice ending to a wonderful story. Thank you for it.

After reading the afterword blog, I have to say that the inspiring concept didn't come across all that well. You could've spent a bit more time spent before the rainboom, underscoring the mundanity and meaninglessness of Equestria as it then was.
On the other hand, that may well be the point. The narrative skipped over the intervening millennium because nothing worth mentioning happened. Hmm...
Yeah, this is why I don't usually offer much criticism. :derpytongue2:

In any case, thank you again for an excellent story of Equestria's formation. I'm following you henceforth.

Won't lie. I got chills rinow.

Uhm... so their grandma was a witch or something?

I'm kinda wondering why this snowglobe was there....

Or is this just a game of make-believe?

Soooo... got lost in an imaginary world in her schizophrenic brain and then committed suicide to stop the evil voices telling her to destroy mankind?

Soooo... what happens when someone else in the human world finds this snowglobe... or breaks it?

And where the heck did it even come from?

The girls, not even the older one, ever really question what the heck is going on nor how it's happening? The characters completely ignore any natural train of conscious thought and consternation any normal person would feel upon encounting such an otherworldly powerful artifact.

Well-deserved EQD Feature. Would read again. :raritywink:

This is really nice. You do well at creating a lighthearted, whimsical feeling.

can i fall over now

Damn...if I wasn't hooked on the first chapter, this one certainly did it. Well done!

Ohhhhhh....ohhhhhh, Annie. Poor kid. :fluttercry:

Oh man...I wanna hug this story so much right now. :pinkiesad2:

Why aren't there more stories like this?

These stories are so…how do I put it? Mind-bending. Not forcedly dark or gritty like some of them, but still so tragic. :applecry: It's as if this might really have gone on behind the scenes this while time, and it actually makes quite a bit of sense. Not only that, but it's how two lonely kids really would have acted if they were accidentally thrust into a situation like that. Beautiful. :fluttershysad:

Very very nice.

Grandma Mimsy?
Like in "Mimsy Were the Borogoves", that was a neat story too.

This feels like a movie almost. I'm really scared how this will turn out.

Um... wow. That ending was... oh God...

This story has blown my mind in so many ways. I was floored with the origin of Fluttershy's cottage and The Stare, and I had originally thought that Polly and Annie would become Celestia and Luna, but this wasn't what I expected to happen. This story captivated me, held my attention, and then shocked the living hell out of me. I'm going to read the last chapter now, but I have to say, thank you for writing this story.

I cried a little at the end. I didn't expect Annie to be reincarnated as Pinkie Pie, but everything makes sense now. Polly giving Rainbow Dash the power of the Sonic Rainboom (which was mentioned earlier in the story) was truly spectacular, and with your story it makes sense how when the Cutie Mark Crusaders were asking Pinkie Pie to tell them how she got her Cutie Mark, she ended her story saying "and that's how Equestria was made". This story puts so much into perspective, and I have to say I am happy that I read this story.

I will read this again, and that's rare for me to want to read a story multiple times like this.

Well, they're rife with devastation
but there's a simple explanation
They are human girls' creations
trapped inside a clear glass ball

:facehoof:
I've gotta stop this.

Oh my god, the feels! :raritycry:

This story is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Especially the ending... my gosh. Liquid pride has definitely been shed on this very day that I read this story. From the very beginning for Polly and Annie's story, to Annie's memorable sacrifice, this story was just amazing. :fluttercry: Going in my absolute favorites, for sure.

Hello sir and or ma'am Takahari. Your story has been accepted into TGB, you known where the decision is. Go and read it if you like, I hope Haphazred doesn't get on me for not having enough substance. I kinda rushed... Anyway go ahead and read if you'd like

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Okay, gods meddling in mortal affairs is always fun, but when the gods are a 7 year old girl and her 12 year old sister, it takes on a whole new level of really interesting.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Okay, that's a remarkably clever inspiration for the Elements.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

uh whoa holy shit

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

hah oh shit ;_;

My mind was incinerated.

Absolutely brilliant.

okay scuse me while I just
*distant crying*

I see 'tragedy' slapped on here, so I'm preparing the feels.

Wow.
This reads like a cult classic; to use a food analogy, this is like Waldorf Salad, a strange combo of foods that not many have heard of, and you look at it and think: "???"
But then you partake and wonder why you waited this long to try it.

Long story short:
This is the cleverest portrayal of Celestia and Luna's origins I have ever seen.
It's a hidden gem cloaked in unassuming creativity that has a luster all its own.

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