Yellow sun; wet, green planet; barren, dust-ball moon. When I saw the images from the surveyors, I knew instantly that this was the place where I'd set up my hermitage.
The captain told me there were intelligent creatures on the planet, but she doubted they would venture beyond the atmosphere for centuries. That meant I'd have the moon all to myself for six standard months before her ship came back to resupply me.
Six months of peace and contemplation with only the Increate and the sound of my heartsbeat to keep me company. No distractions, no neighbors, no mad aliens with their endless demands.
Solitude. Silence. Paradise.
Or so I thought.
(Kudos to Lunae Lumen for correcting the Latin in the title)
(Added AU tag due to the IDW comics)
Chapters (22)
Interesting. I'll be watching.
You're referencing something. I feel like I should know what it is.
Hoo boy that last line.
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Was it a short story about an astronaut finding statues on the moon, and then a horrible revelation that involves eyes? I didn't consciously try to reference it as I was writing, but your comment jogged my memory: "Forms of Things Unknown" by C.S. Lewis.
Other than that, the name of the hermit's deity was borrowed from Gene Wolfe's New Sun quadrilogy, mainly because I think it sounds cool.
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Glad to hear you're enjoying this! Next chapter should be out sometime this weekend.
This isn't going to end well is it?
Poor hermit.
Immortality's a bitch.
Aw.
For a second I thought he was going to bash her evil pony brains in with the religious icon.
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Y'know, I probably should have had the hermit at least consider that. Maybe in a later chapter...
(This reminds me, I need to re-watch Becket sometime.)
Sea of Sorrow is Mare Doloris.
In fact there is already a Lacus Doloris (Lake of Sorrow) among the named lunar features.
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Ach, thanks. I never should have trusted a translation program.
There's a creepy underlayer to this fic that I like, very much. Excellent work, I'll be watching. (although I'm not making dust-creatures to peek in your window at night)
I, however, do have dust ponies staring in your window. Get to work.
This chapter was pretty hilarious. I can't wait for more.
Yea! An update. I love this fic. Keep it up.
He's actually going to stand up to her, even if a bit? This could get dangerous.
This is interesting, because up until now there was a fairly strong sense of "this has to end in a certain way". But now I don't know what's going on.
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First, because I've neglected to say it before, I'd like to thank you and all the rest of my readers for commenting on and following this story so far. I'm really surprised it's received even the modest interest it has. I had originally intended it as a short experiment in using a strongly opinionated first-person narrator, but then I discovered I can't actually write brief stories. I know how I want this to end and I have a pretty clear idea of how I'm going to get there, but the trip always takes much longer than I expect.
That said, is this a good 'I don't know what's going on' or a bad one? Usually when the reader feels that way it means the author has made a mistake.
What's the ending you thought the story was tending toward?
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It's a good no idea. I really want to see what will happen next.
Also it's not that I was expecting a particular ending, but I was more wondering how you would avoid a particular ending. That being "Pangolin gets NMM off the planet for her date with destiny, the end." Obviously that'd be rather unsatisfying, so I was wondering how you'd deal with that problem. This new palace or whatever it is seems an ideal monkey wrench in the grind towards the obvious but bland.
Also, we don't actually know Pangolin's proper name, do we? I guess it doesn't really matter right now.
"Go to the moon," they said. "It'll be quiet," they said.
Man, this story is good. I almost feel sorry for the dude, more or less being enslaved by some terrible cosmic entity because he decided to take a vacation on the only moon in the universe with a giant alicorn face etched into it. But then I remember that Nightmare Moon is the best villain in the show and it's all okay.
This is actually getting dark, the end there implies that these dust-ponies have their own, independent consciousness, which NMM can withdraw. And now she's presumably going to actually kill dust-Celestia. I'm not sure I'd advocate the "Dark" tag for this though.
Well, I have to admit I didn't expect that. I wonder if this has to do with the "dark bargin" thing that was talked about earlier.
Huh. That was... unexpected. I'm quite curious about what's going on now.
Ooooo. Long Live the Tyrant Sun.
The plot thickens!
Oh man every time I saw an update I'd been hoping it was this. I feel like now I know what the thrust of the plot is.
Is this It's a Wonderful Life?
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It is! I'm glad you recognized it; I was worried I was being too elliptic.
The question running through my mind when I decided to include this scene in the story was "what real work would resonate strongly with this characterization of Nightmare Moon that I can also expect my readers to have heard of?"
Is having a space alien who owns a novelization of a '46 Capra film too jarring, though? I tried to establish earlier that humans are not uncommon among the spacefaring species, so their culture isn't entirely unknown to our narrator, but I'm not sure whether that came across very well.
... I realize that our hero has been through a lot, but did the damning evidence of supernatural mind control really just slip his mind?
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Do you mean the recording he was making when his suit got punctured? That's a good point. It is a bit too important to go on the back-burner as easily as he put it there. I was planning on getting to that in the next chapter, but I might have to edit something more into this one too. I'll make a post to let readers know if I alter this chapter.
Thanks for the input! Seriously. I need all the help I can get.
This isn't abandoned is it?
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Sorry for the lack of updates. I was putting all my effort into my other in-progress fic, hoping to finish it in one final push.
However, it looks like that one's going to need a whole bunch more pushes, so I will be taking a break from it and returning this fic soon.
This was a very interesting story so far. Quite a bit more so than I was expecting from the description and popularity, to be honest. Your characterization of Nightmare Moon is particularly good; how she's thought of herself as the victim for so long she can't conceive of herself in any other role, and how you manage to convey this through her actions without ever having to spell it out for the reader. That she manages to, somehow, simultaneously be nearly wholly unlikeable is just icing on top.
Your narrator is very good, too. So many stories on this site use the bog-standard third person omniscient that it's refreshing to see a story branch out with the format a bit, and you manage to convey a concrete characterization of the narrator without him ever actually ever saying anything; no small feat. The little details, such as how he loses his temper multiple times no matter how much he tries to be an ascetic, or how his entire library is incredibly dry philosophy tomes and he manages to make them sound exciting, are what really make the character.
In short, well done indeed, and I look forward to where you may decide to take this story in the future, whenever you may decide to return to it. I'll be eagerly waiting. Keep on keeping on, my good sir.
Snowing on the moon... Yeah, I can see how he'd think it was a dream.
Brilliant title.
It's nice to see this updating. Good stuff. Oh, I haven't upvoted? Let's fix that.
this is a pretty good start. I like the use of the human.
Nice to see it updating. Let's get to messing around in her head!
Going to quote a comedy I just watched and say "Ya dun goofed" to the alien.
I am genuinely intrigued by this story, something which does not happen often.
I caught it on the front page today, clicked it, and found it to already be Read-Later-ed. Which means I saw it once before. When something like that happens, I assume it to be serendipity. It was. I'm enjoying this very much. I had to stop at chapter 7 because I have to get up tomorrow morning to watch a particular television show at 10 am on Saturday. Perhaps you know of it?
Here, take this:
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Hax! Admin, ban the noob! *Nightmare Moon has been banned by server admin*
This is a great story. However, the vague story description almost turned me away, but I am happy I persevered. Read through it all in one sitting.
This story really should have at least ten times the upvotes. I hate it when very well written (and more importantly, interesting) stories go unnoticed by the large mass of what can be generously called 'people'.
Loving the characterizations and the feel of the story.
Keep up the great work!
What a strange and endearing story this has proven to be...
Fascinating. An actually rather well-done story. You'll be seeing a great many more views shortly.
Well this is different... I like it, continuing reading captain
Oh! I get it, the stone Celestia's acting this way, because this is what Nightmare Moon imagined her to be! I HOPE THIS GETS RESOLVED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!
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More please.
This is the most astonishingly underrated story I've ever come across here. Absolutely brilliant!
i'm liking this (both interpretations) and faving