Like Fire

Braeburn and Little Strongheart decided to have a friendly hoofwrassling competition to prove once and for all which species is superior.

A short story for EQD's Writer's Training Ground. The prompt was

Prompt 3: Braeburn tells the (wildly exaggerated) story of how he hurt his leg.

You can see where I'm going with this right?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 11
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Ri2

Ri2 #1 · May 6th, 2015 · 2 · ·

Hahahaha. Oh Braeburn.

SuperPinkBrony12

SuperPinkBrony12 #2 · May 6th, 2015 · 1 · ·

That is all.

HarmonyRain

HarmonyRain #3 · May 6th, 2015 · 1 · ·

He's I sissy!

Seether00

Seether00 #4 · May 6th, 2015 · 2 · ·

Poor Braeburn. That's got to hurt the ego a bit.

SuperPinkBrony12

SuperPinkBrony12 #5 · May 6th, 2015 · · ·

5945363 Assuming it didn't completely shatter into a million pieces first.

Narrative Style

Narrative Style #6 · May 15th, 2015 · · ·

I remember considering this as a possibility for what actually happened. This is now headcanon.

Tangerine Blast

Tangerine Blast #7 · May 15th, 2015 · 1 · ·

5981605 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Have someone adopt your headcanon.

HeartofIndigo

HeartofIndigo #8 · May 16th, 2015 · · ·

I wrote comments on the original EqD post here. (I was confused.)

Xtralife

Xtralife #9 · May 16th, 2015 · 1 · ·

So I just read through this story, and it's not bad! There's a real buildup of tension between the suspense, the stakes, and Braeburn's genuine attraction to Little Strongheart. Plus, it's great how it ends with a snap, both figuratively and literally. The only thing is I feel you used the word "fire" a little too much. It wasn't the only way you delivered the metaphor, as there's mentions of wood, warmth, smoke, and colors (like the referee being red), but if there were more of those and less of just "fire" it would've been more subtle and effective. But it was still a fun read, you've done a good job, and you should keep it up!

Flash_Magnus