• Member Since 19th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 10th, 2017

Frission


Frission: The Happiness ponymon. Frission takes 2x damage from Feels-Type attacks. Special Ability: Yayifications! — Like and Follow buffs can increase EVs above normal maximums.

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Source

As a filly, Sunset Shimmer made a difficult choice which affected not only the rest of her life, but the course of two worlds, when she turned her back on her mentor, her promises, and Equestria itself.

But there's more than one of everything, even entire worlds.
Now, another Sunset Shimmer, living in another world, comes to that same decision of trust or betrayal.

Though there are many Sunsets amidst creation, do they all share one fate?

Edited by Prak
Prereaders: Foals Errand and Minifig
Special Thanks to Between Lines
Art used with permission by SilFoe

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 65 )

This was sweet. It's hard to really find a word that describes this piece as a whole, but... sweet. A bit sad, at first, but Celestia's decision was fairly predictable, based off of the tags provided. Still, an interesting micro-study on Sunset Shimmer, and adorable filly Twilight was adorable.

I liked this.

Cute, dialogue felt alive, well paced.

My only real issues was that Celestia seemingly wasn't aware of the mirror.

I would like to see this expanded upon, maybe continued in a sequel to show what the present would be like with this turn of events.

Over all, solid and enjoyable.
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Bravo! You guys did a really great job on this story, I've got to say that I really enjoyed it.

4699077 Thank you! This is my first foray into one-shot territory, I'm glad people are finding it enjoyable. :twilightsmile:

I really like this story when I first saw it and I must say that it's turned out quite good! I like Sunset and I thought this was a really good look at an AU. Also... I need to cut back on sweets now. Twilight might give me a cavity.

4699079 :yay:

In my head, Celestia knows of the mirror, she just hasn't thought about it in a long time. More to the point, she was not aware that Sunset had found it and has been studying it in her spare time.

You know that's a good point about extending the story, this was originally based off of a scene in Adjacency where they met this version of her, but stories about the interim period could be fun. :pinkiehappy:

4699176 No problem! :twilightsmile:

4699161 Hee, yeah I've been hearing that reaction a lot from my prereaders about tiny Twi. :twilightblush:

Woo, got my first dislike! :pinkiecrazy:

I'm under no illusions that I'm a great writer or anything like that—I'm still totally a rookie after all—so I knew that was going to happen sooner or later. But having at least one dislike mixed in with so many upvotes makes all the likes that much more real and valid to me. :heart:

Thanks so much for reading, everypony!

Are you going to make a sequel? This is just too good to be a one-shot story

4699297 I will be strongly considering it. :twilightsmile: I do have one other one-shot project in the wings right now, however, and after that I'd like to get some more chapters of Adjacency released before I work on more new stories.

:pinkiegasp:This, by far is one of the best stories I have ever seen so far!:pinkiehappy::raritystarry::scootangel::twilightsmile::yay::heart:

I agree with Dementia Ravenmane. I definitely would love to see a sequel to this!:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

4699356 *blush* Thankoo. I try my best. :twilightblush::heart:

4699367 I've only seen something close to this idea on an image on deviantart. A few stories show twilight and Sunset both under Celestia's tutelage, but this drama was original!:ajsmug::pinkiehappy::rainbowdetermined2::raritystarry::twilightsmile::scootangel::yay:

By the way, would you consider making a sequel to this?:applecry::fluttershysad::pinkiesad2::raritydespair:

Great job, i think you should defiantly do a few more chapters.

In a parallel Equestria, another Sunset Shimmer must make the same fateful choice between trust and betrayal

Instant favorite.

Awwww, that ending was incredibly adorable!

were's the kush? John said there would be:scootangel:

Ah, a nice little tie-in with Adjacency. Cute and touching!

Curious as to how Sunset got the feeling that she'd been through all this before. I suppose the portals can leak the possibilities?

Back from school, time to start responding again! Hehe.
4699604
4699606
It's been suggested a few times, and I will keep it in consideration in the future. :twilightsmile: No promises, since I have a lot of other work to get done, but I'll keep it on my short list of ideas for future projects. :raritywink:

4699974 Yay! :pinkiehappy: Trying to hammer out a good description and short desc for this story was super stressful. I can't thank Between Lines and Prak enough for helping me out with those.

4701035 Aha, you caught that did you? :raritywink: Yes, this is the same version of Sunset that the girls eventually meet in Adjacency. As for the deja-vu, well, who can really explain it? Some people/ponies get it more than others—I myself get hit by it quite often.

I'm personally of the belief that it's a sign of latent psychic talent, and I theorize that if we could learn to harness it, we could gain access to precognitive ability. Either way, it was part of my inspiration for this. As for the reasoning in the story itself, well, it's mostly derived from that belief. :eeyup:

daw :twilightsmile:
who could resist filly twily?
I pretty sure that if Sunset would have stay long enough to meet young Twilight, it could have turn something like what you wrote ~

4701144 Nopony can resist the filly Twi! One shot of those puppy-eyes and entire nations will bow down before her! I will harness these powers to RUUULE THE WOOOORLD! :raritystarry:

:pinkiehappy: - NARF!

4701263
ah! :pinkiecrazy:

I see what you did there :rainbowlaugh:
and it making me feel so very old :applejackconfused:

4701263

TROZ!!! Gee Brain!! ...wait...wrong series...Ahem...Nice job on this!! Not gunna lie, seeing Sunset actually in the main storyline would be a treat and a half, especially with how many stories like that with Trixie exist now. If this continued, whether by you or no, I'd read the heck out of it!

Still, facts are facts, this is good, I enjoyed it, and thank you very much!!

This I gotta see! Sunset Shimmer needs more love, and Alternate Universe's are just plain awesome with her.
4699172 I agree, expand it and see where it goes. Perhaps Sunset is sent to Ponyville while Twilight stays behind in Canterlot? Maybe both of them go? Perhaps they learn about the Elements together long beforehand, seek them out, and devise a plan of their own before Nightmare Moon comes?
You can not end this here.

4705938 No, thank you for the support! :twilightsmile:

4706909 I have to admit, I really do enjoy writing AU. World building really captures my imagination. To me, nothing beats the epic sensation I get from seeing a whole new world slowly unfolding before my eyes with each word, and I love helping make that happen for you all as well.

That's how I chose my username here for the site, actually. When you're listening to or watching something really epic and it gives you goosebumps, or you feel a chill run through you from it, that's frisson—a physical reaction to what you're experiencing. :raritywink:

Anyways, since people began suggesting a sequel, I've begun to imagine the possibilities with stories involving Sunset and Twilight's adventures as fillies. Whether I want to or not! :pinkiecrazy: Hee, it is definitely a storyline I would like to write about at some point, though for now, I do have other responsibilities that will have to come first.

Maybe I'll start trying to write one shots between chapters of Adjacency, so long as it doesn't delay my update schedule even further than I've been updating it. :twilightblush:

4707999 If you like AUs, I've got one in the works that has good Sunset and Twilight as Cekestia's students.

4709060 When are you going to update the next chapter of your story by the way?

4714879 I'm working on it. Probably be done this weekend.

4722328 I wish fimfiction had made an apple bloom puppy dog eyes face emoticon. Because if they did, I definitely would it have used it at the end of this next question: Any chance you could make some kind of sequel to this story?

4726313 You realize that's the third time you've asked that now, right? :twilightsheepish: I'll give the same answer I did the last few times: Definitely maybe. :pinkiecrazy: :raritywink:

4727171 That's the third time I asked?:rainbowderp: Really?:applejackconfused::rainbowhuh::twilightoops:

:facehoof:

Sorry.:twilightsheepish:

This is just a really good story. One of the best I have ever seen. PERIOD.:heart:

Wait, I think your counting my response to Whiteeyes. In that I was actually asking him about how updates to HIS fic are going.

But still, back to your story. This is just so good, Hasbro should've just done this from the beginning. I honestly think it's that good.:heart:

You holding out on me, Frissy? I'm watchin' you. :trixieshiftright:

My only dislike about this story is that you did not go any further with this. Oh well, at least I love where this is going. It's kinda similar to a fic of mine that I'll be doing, except Sunset is Celestia's adopted daughter.

EDIT: Hold on! So Smarty Pants originally belonged to Sunset in this universe?

4750757 :twilightoops: Oh my. *hides in the bushes!* :twilightsheepish:

4756535 Yup! ^_~ :heart:

Gaaaaaaah, my heart. Twilight, you're so adorable.

Here are a few little things I noticed as I read, though.

It felt as if the castle staff and guards were going out of their way to spare the filly from further embarrassment, or at least that’s what her inner drama queen was insisting.

That should really read "embarrassment,or at least,"
Also, the "that's" seems problematic, what with it being present tense and all. Might I suggest changing the back half of the sentence to "her inner drama queen insisted on that being the case"?

In the past, every test object she had levitated through it had come back perfectly intact; at least, as far as she could tell.

That semicolon really ought to be a comma; it's not separating independent clauses or breaking complex lists into more easily parsed chunks.

’I need to think this through, though
’Well… what if it’s not even inhabitable?

These have backwards opening quotation marks.

The first one she saw was the princess herself, laying serenely upon a pile of pillows in the center of the room while sipping her morning tea.

Definitely should be "lying" here.

Thank you. :twilightsmile: I'll get on those edits soon. :3

These have backwards opening quotation marks.

That's... odd. Oh, turns out that in the default font, there's only one ' symbol. Single quotes never reverse automatically like double quotes.

Update:

It felt as if the castle staff and guards were going out of their way to spare the filly from further embarrassment, or at least that’s what her inner drama queen was insisting.

That should really read "embarrassment,or at least,"

....? You want me to take the space out? O_o
I ended up just reworking the whole paragraph. ^.^

That semicolon really ought to be a comma; it's not separating independent clauses or breaking complex lists into more easily parsed chunks.

I tend to champion the use of the semicolon more than most. :3 That said, I disagree—it needs an em dash! :pinkiecrazy:

Awww, this was cute and sweet. I would very much love to see this expanded upon. Maybe you could make an adventure for both of them to go on? I would read the sh:yay:t out of that.

I agree with some of the commenters. There's potential in this with an expanded sequel.

It's adorable and something relatable! :twilightsmile:

Actually, thirty moons is equivalent to two and a half years. One moon is a month. But besides that, I liked the story a lot.

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