Twilight Sparkle wakes up one day and her whole life is gone. Her friends are missing and there are monsters roaming the streets of every town throughout Equestria. What can she do to save her missing friends? And if she does, will her life ever be able to go back to the way it was before?
Twilight begins an epic journey to save her friends from the endless hordes of Heartless. (Note: you don't need to know anything about Kingdom Hearts to read this. This theory has been tested by a group of my friends who know nothing of the game series. Regardless, I recommend the games to everyone, for there are many little Easter Eggs that I've hidden :D)
I am looking for a proofreader, to try and help me with my revisions. I am going back and looking at, and rereleasing each existing chapter of this series, as well as the ones that have yet to be released, making them all into the same format.
Omigoshomigoshomiosh! I was on the featured stories thing! Thank you all so much! You're the best!!
Also, there are some spoilers in the comments, so if you don't want to see them, avoid that section until you are caught up.
Gonna give it a read because its Kingdom hearts!
Alright, I find it rather strange that this came out at the exact same time another KH crossover did, but whatever. Firstly, I'd like to state that this is very well written, and the pacing was almost perfect... up until Fluttershy got captured, then it all fell apart. Everything from that scene onwards was too rushed, and the CMCs dialogue felt frigid and unrealistic the way they all told their stories. Also, I definetely agree that anyone who hasn't played KH will understand what's going on well enough, however for those of us who have played it, the entire dream sequence at the start was literally just ripped from the game with Twilight in Sora's place, I know you said easter eggs, but unless Twilight is actually going to meet King Mickey and the others, his face still appearing on the weapons is just random.
With all that said, it's still very well written and I look forward to seeing where you go with this.
4546205 Thank you for the input. I am grateful that you noticed the pacing problem in the later part of the chapter and I will go back and rectify that problem ASAP. I was interrupted in the middle of that chapter if I remember correctly and had to return to it a couple of days later. As to your point about the Mickey Mouse image, both Sora and Roxas see these weapons in their own Deep Dives. I feel that due to the character selection screen in Birth By Sleep, that it is safe to assume that Terra, Ventus, and Aqua also saw then. I feel that this is part of the process of becoming a Keyblade wielder and is something that Twilight should go through.
4545927 Thank you, looking forward to having as many people read this as I can.
4546312 That seems reasonable enough.
4546319 I just finished fixing up the CMC's conversation a bit, but there wasn't very much that I could do with the pacing using the interface for editing on this website. Most of the changes that I could make to fix it would have caused some problems down the road with the rest of the story, which I just finished earlier this morning.
4546389 Yes I just read them, certainly better than before. It's good to see an author willing to make changes when people suggest it.
4546439 That's the whole reason that I put things up on this site. I want criticism from people who will tell me the truth, not my roommate. To be honest, at first I was going with emotion turmoil, but it didn't feel right with those characters and as I was waiting for the story to by approved I'd actually noticed that section and thought about changing it, but I wanted to hear other peoples thoughts on it first.
now this story rocks, please kep updateing when can. I love crossovers like thise and I look forward to more ch
4547376 As I put in an Author's Comment at the bottom, this will be updated weekly. I already have the whole thing typed up in Microsoft Word and will add one chapter every Saturday until September 13th when I upload the Epilogue.
Certainly a solid start and in-keeping with both fandoms, but I think I'll be keeping further judgement until we see a bit more
4550596 looking forward to your further judgements.
I suffer from an awful inherited disease. It is known as impatience
. I can't do the weekly thing, mostly because I'm getting bored, so I will be releasing one every Saturday and Wednesday. Chapter 2 will be coming out tomorrow
. I don't know why doing the weekly thing is bothering me so much, but it is. It will now be concluded on July 30th or August 2nd, depending on how my vacation in mid July works out.
I like it, i listened to the dive to the heart battle theme for the first half then the main or the second
4566234 Why didn't I think of something like that? I might have to re read my own story once I finish reading the one that I am right now, just so that I can listen to the songs.
4566343 Note to past self, most certainly worth re reading after applying music
.
Nice story you got here. Are you planning on taking Twilight and co to other worlds?
So it looks like Spike has a Keyblade as well and it seems like the bad guys want Twilight for some reason. I hope Spike manages to save his friends and gets a chance to use his new Keyblade.
4578965 I'm not sure. I haven't done anything like that with the sequel as of yet. In the original however, they stay in Equestria.
4579369 Trust me, there is a fairly short moment later in which Spike kicks some serious flank. I was getting sick of all of the Spike abuse in the show, they just use him so wrong...
4579464 Amen brother, amen.
4579459
Well, as long as they leave Equestria eventually, I'll be happy
4579723 I am considering making that occur in the sequel now that someone brought it up. I was writing on the fourth chapter, in which Twilight meets the new enemy, and I hated the way that they met, so I think that I I'm gonna kick them off of Equestria
. Twilight will have to confront the evil guy on a world that I will come up with at a later date. I ned to come up with original world ideas now, I don't want to Disney this.
4579745
Well then, might I suggest something anime related? I have several ideas for an Attack on Titan world, or a Puella Magi Madoka Magica world.
4579777 Regretfully, I have no seen either of those. I think that I would be better off trying to come up with something that would be easily compatible with ponies, or an Equestria Girls Twilight, because the sequel will be taking place after the season four premier.
4579790
Hmm, have you thought about any of the Final Fantasy games, particularly VII? Or you could have it cross over directly with KH and take them to Destiny Islands or Twilight Town.
4579808 I have schemes pertaining to a direct crossover for later
... Until then though, I've been considering something along the lines of making them visit a location I the Kingdom Hearts Universe, but not having an encounter with an characters, just taking on a human form for the first time since the Sunset Shimmer. Maybe Castle Oblivion or someplace that I could limit interaction with other people.
4579852
I would suggest the castle in Hollow Bastion for that, specifically the area that was in the original Kingdom Hearts, rather than the restored Hollow Bastion from KHII
4579904 The original Hollow Bastion was the best. Thanks for the suggestion, I think that I'll take her and Spike there, as well as their new ally, who will be revealed in chapter one of the sequel. Thanks for all of the help right there, you're awesome
.
4579914
Not a problem
If you want any more help, particularly with original/anime worlds, feel free to PM me about it (I can very easily create a world thats both dangerous, and mysterious for our favorite purple unicorn and dragon).
4579943 All right, I'll keep that in mind
.
4560390
I'm the opposite; I'm writing a KH based story as well, but I suffer from a severe case of sloth. I take way to much time between chapters than I should
4546205
just a nohboy
ill say!
4595212 I'm working on chapter seven of the sequel to this story right now, I started writing that sequel the same day that I released the first chapter of this story onto this site
.
4579745 im reading another KH crossover where twilight travels to the various equestrias throughout the fandom. i.e. Past Sins, Fallout: Equestria, etc. mabye you could do something similar?
4596586 What I did is I take her to a few worlds in the Kingdom Heart universe and I will probably take her out to some worlds of my own creation in her universe. What' the name of he story that you mentioned though, I wanna read it
.
4595747 That did not sound rude actually. That's what I want to see from comments on this. As I might go back through and edit that conversation again. I want it to be the best it can be and I can't really improve it without comments that tell me what needs improving.
4597630 it was Road to Twilight, by ShadowBrony
4599749 Awesome, thanks.
When is the next update
4604532 Saturday morning hopefully. I usually upload them at about 6 AM Eastern.
Thanks for actually answering to the comment most don't even answer and update randomly so really appreciate you answering
4604778 I had the whole story completed the day that I started uploading so it is schedule for every Saturday and every Wednesday until it is completely uploaded. Also I make a point to reply to every comment that is saying something about the story or is directed at me. I'm big fan of having my comments replied to, and so I like to accommodate people who like it as well
.
Great tger is a update best author actually keeps there word when updating I mean your not the only one but your one of them
4612093 Thanks, I think that I would probably die without a steady schedule.
Either Spike is going to become a duel wielder as well or it is the thing he needs to complete his keyblade. Too bad Blade had to die though I do wonder who Vim use to be.
4632688 You'll see, her true identity will be revealed in due time
. I was kinda scared that I'd made it too obvious who she was, but now I feel a bit better about it.
4597630
It was called Road to Twilight. I'm reading it too, and I'm finding it to be fantastic!
4632758
She's Sunset Shimmer, isn't she?