When the spirit of Equestria falls to darkness, can Twilight and her new friends find a way to save it's heart and the hearts of other worlds?
Chapters (4)
- Member Since 21st Dec, 2013
- offline last seen April 8th
Xero Key
Fan of Ponies and researcher of fandoms.
Xero Key
Joined 21st Dec, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- xenobrony · 1.1k words · 95 4 · 3.6k views
- Dusk Writer · 8.3k words · 324 10 · 6.4k views
- TheMightyT · 47k words · 1,323 33 · 22k views
- Edmar Fecler · 8.4k words · 391 7 · 4.9k views
- Flammenwerfer · 269k words · 1,603 57 · 30k views
- Radical Centrist · 72k words · 179 9 · 1.8k views
- Navanastra · 58k words · 194 14 · 4.3k views
- IAmNotSmartest · 30k words · 387 15 · 7.5k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.085 seconds
Total duration
1,007 users online
1,789,648 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This is looking real good, though the shift with the bulldozers seemed sudden. Make sure to put more detail into events and double-check for common spelling errors. Other than that, I can't wait to see more
...not to be confused with "Friendship is the Key", one presumes.
Love this.
even with pinkie being my favorite pony i believe i gave myself head trama every time she opened her mouth
3662650 I know, but meta jokes were the only way I could get in a tutorial reference and Pinkie does break the fourth wall. Don't worry, it won't happen again. They hurt me to write actually.
3662439 I knew the title sounded familiar. Thankfully with all the "Twilight eats a peach" right now, I should be fine.
3662421 The bulldozers were intentional. Both as foreshadowing to things to come and because sudden transitions happen in the show all the time.
And really, no comment on the music? Ok, I'll keep it till You guys say otherwise.
Press Triangle to win!
3666784 Reaction commands are both awesome and useless. From now on use your imagination to think of where they'd be.
This is very good. My favorite part was Not-Babs ruining the moment. I eagerly await more!
3676948 What was she supposed to do? Ask her favorite color? Honestly I couldn't remember what the third question was, so I went with comedy, and honestly it seems to work better.
3680583 Maybe… the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
3683256 African or European?
Now, I know someone is wondering where the next chapter is so let me be clear; I am a college student going into his toughest semester. Updates will be infrequent, and getting the proper characterization will take some time. That being said the next chapter Tension Rising will be the second day after Twilight's Awakening, and will set up a bit of the main enemies' goals. Then I will lead into Chapter 3: Night of Fate, which is where I'll give Twilight her keyblade (no it isn't the one in the cover art, I'm more original than that). But please, bear with me as I try to find time to write this while still getting my degree.
Also because I can't seem to get the link to work: original cover art found here http://sakuyamon.deviantart.com/art/KH-Twilight-Sparkle-281665630
This is rather interesting. I like it a lot so far!
But some parts of it seemed as if they were rushed.
If I were you, I'd explain things in better detail and lengthen this a tad bit. It's just my opinion and I don't wanna come off as rude. Besides, this is just advice! You can choose to take it or not. Keep up the good work! I'll be sure to keep reading this. 
3878232 Thank you for the advice. And yes it is rushed, intentionally. Try watching the Destiny Island cut-scenes from the first game with no game play between them. It feels like this, a lot. I can't describe the "Game play" because it doesn't exist and would honestly be boring. Once the third chapter is ready, called "Night of Fate" (guess what happens), I will be putting in more action to match the fact this is hack and slash.
Though when that will be when I can barely work on chapter 2, does say a lot.
But hey, I'm working on my Undergrad Thesis, that kinda takes priority.
3887940
And you're most welcome with the advice. It's the least I could do!
Understandable.
Just a bit of friendly advice, whenever you start any dialogue, make sure it's on a new line, so your readers can more easily differentiate speakers.
3903776 Normally I would, however I've learned from people taking a creative writing class at my university, that that isn't what I should do in a dialogue heavy story. Ironic I know, but they are the one's in the class, not me, so I'm taking their advice.
3944263 I can see where you're coming from. It just reads very strange when several people are speaking in the same paragraph. I'll be honest, this is the first time I've seen it like this. Now, the only exception I have seen from that general rule is that speakers should be in different paragraphs, but their dialogue doesn't need to necessarily start the paragraph.
In fact, a lot of creative writing material I've looked over always struck me as strange. Using "single speech marks" instead of "double speech marks" had to be one of the strangest bits of advice that I had ever seen. They often just make up words and advice, because there is no such thing as "speech marks" in the English Language. There are Apostrophes and Quotation Marks.
Your friends might be trying to tell you what they've learned in class, and they do mean well. But before you take their advice, it might be a good idea to read the works of several different fiction authors to see what is a more accepted style.
That being said, I am looking forward to more, the story itself seems interesting.
3945832 Why thank you. If you'll note in one of the comments, this is not a priority. I'm working on my undergrad thesis and though I have a total idea of where the story is going, actually making the characterization fit is difficult when you have only few hours each day, not counting weekend. hopefully when I go on to spring break I will have more. (Still hoping to at least have Chapter 2 out by then.)
3973715 I want too, however actual life and my Undergraduate Thesis has been sucking a lot of my creativity out
. I'm going to put it on hiatus for a little while, but keep it watched so you don't lose track of it
!
Well, I think this world is doing a good job of being corrupted by the Darkness. With this much negativity, Heartless are going to be appearing in droves.
Cue Heartless swarms
Whoo Hoo! Got the team together and everything. The Diz Reports will be put in a separate story with Twilight, Shadow, and Sakura commenting on them and Journal entries. Basically it will be where they mention the silly and little things of the Kingdom Hearts games that players notice. You'll get lines about how the health and magic orbs make no sense, and why munny works everywhere despite not being a world's currency.
Next world hint: Scythe and Moon. Winner gets an internet cookie when the chapter is released.
wait sakura as in sakura haruno SHE MY FAV from Nartuo not
I don't know about the inclusion of Sakura and Shadow, but I still think it's good.
4983569 I actually had them from two prior attempts at writing Kingdom Hearts fics. I left them because of the Mage idea from Final Fantasy. Black Mage (Shadow) does elemental attacks; White Mage (Sakura) heals; and the Red Mage does both while using a sword. That and Sakura and Shadow are darker characters, so I needed a slight conflict between them and Twilight over ethics...oops! Spoilers!
So you're doing a super-huge crossover, opposed to KHs huge crossover? Alright. I would say that this seems a bit rushed, but this is Kingdom Hearts after all.
5744068 It took me three months and still is rushed. But no it is only KH sized crossover, which is still daunting. This one was stupid of me to do as I made up a plot for the world. From now on I choose shows and games that already have plots that will work. Updates will still be infrequent though, so hiatus rag isn't coming off.
While you wait, read my Power Rangers story. It updates frequently due to having two writers!
Your world needs a great defender
Your world's in the way of harm
You want a romantic life
A fairy tale that's full of charm
Beware that the Light is fading
Beware as the Dark returns
This world's unforgiving
Even brilliant lights will cease to burn!
Why was this cancelled?
9378105
Too many ideas and too big a project when I started. I might come back in the future, after FiM is finished, but no matter what I need to cut a lot of what I have down to something easier to write.