• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Wednesday

DarkRyu


Comments ( 51 )

It's Verry Good Story ! :3 :pinkiehappy:

SpikeDash... instant like

not a fan of the gangbang stuff, but an overall great story

Hot damn, this was amazing. Hot as hell, set up for more, but could work as a stand alone (although I would prefer more).

I've had this idea for quite a while now but have finally decided to put it on paper (so to speak). As far as I know no one else has written something like this. And Spike x Rainbow Dash seems to be incredibly rare for some reason. Like most of my stories, this one was just written up one afternoon with no real editing (I made some typos, but other than fixing those it's unedited). Let me know what you guys think in the comments. I can continue this, but it depends on the response I get.

First rule; you are not your story. Separate the two entities and save it for an authors comment. Don't hold the story for ransom, don't come across as clingy, whiny or incompetent.

Let the story itself do that for you.

Second: Your dialogue is flatter than Rainbow Dash's chest and your grammar is atrocious.

Try reading this.

Thirdly

Rainbow Dash yelped in surprise at the unexpected contact as well as the shock of pleasure she felt in her nethers.

As of this line here? No. God fucking no. This is rape, and it's not justified at that. It's a horrible glimpse into your ill-conceived psyche that this is the natural progression of events. "Let's intimidate her, force her into sex, and it's okay because she's aroused."

2.bp.blogspot.com/-rCthN2XeXe4/UgbBYvwCjXI/AAAAAAAAGq4/LwasixkNEYk/s1600/Image1.png

No. No, you goddamn psychopath. Did you know that rape victims actually can't control their own body's senses, so it does feel good in a few ways. Hey, guess what? That's not a good thing. That is something that scars them for the rest of their lives, the knowledge that deep down the most horrible, violating and traumatizing experience in their lives, maybe they enjoyed it a little, so it was probably just their fault.

And I'm not exaggerating about you being a psychopath here, either -

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to spit out his cum, but another stallion quickly shoved his cock down her throat. She quickly gagged, but he was kind enough to let up and give her a second.

This is where I quit. I skimmed just to check it gets worse - it does.

No, just god fucking no. He is raping her face and he's "kind enough" to give her a second to gag on her previous rapist's semen? That's some dangerous language choice you underage, incompetent git. If you are any older than 13 you are both dangerously mentlally incompetent and in a position of power to enforce your beliefs on others in a physical sense, so I hope to god you are just a dangerously uninformed child living out a sick power fantasy with kindergarten level storytelling ability.

Jesus Christ, I just thought "maybe those Social Activist tumblr blogs have a point" and that... that was a horrifying thing to think with a straight face.

It would be interesting to see Twilight reaction when she finds them mid fuck.:rainbowlaugh:

A suggestion? At the very *least* a warning in your fic summary that there's non-con sex ahead, just to avoid surprises. There was not explicit consent from Dash, and there was especially a "Wait, no!" in there.

I like the story the gangbang kinds threw me off cause she was forced into but im glad she got herself and spike outta there when she got the chance. i hope to see more chapters from this story

4254051
You obviously didn't read the story all the way through and you missed a few things. Sure, she was forced into it. It wasn't her idea. But I wouldn't call it full on rape either. All the stallions were drunk, and they thought she was a whorse. A bunch of horny guys were all hot and bothered around a hot mare. They probably didn't hear her. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But she could have stopped it. She chose not to. She could have refused to suck them off, but she didn't want to because she knew they'd stop pleasuring her. And read this line:

Oh how she wanted some stallion cock right now. But as much as she wanted it, they couldn’t fuck her. She wasn’t protected! They’d get her pregnant!

So she was into it. And this line near the end shows that she really didn't consider it rape:

“What?” Rainbow Dash asked. “You don’t think I enjoyed it too? Sex is great so long as it’s safe and everypony’s willing.”

You need to read a story in its entirety rather than get all angry and go all out attacking people. Get off your high-horse (pun intended). Nopony cares about your views on rape. It's not like anything you said isn't common knowledge anyway.

4254051
Ya' know, i used to be an admin on Twilights Library. i felt rather silly one day and made a stupid thread. in response to that thread, you bashed on my grammar and etiquette, and i was overcome by the thought ' my god, what an unbearable ass!'.

but now? now, i completely fucking agree with you.

this story upon which this comment is posted is quite possibly among the most offensive clops i've personally seen on the site. Bronystories would be goddamned proud. and the author didn't even mark it fucking DARK?!

idiots is why i quit being an admin on what is now one of the most respected groups on the site, and you, despicable author, have topped my list.

It's like that one Darf story where Pinkie got gang-raped by a bunch of stallions. Expect not as good.

Also, you're gonna get a lot of butthurt comments if you don't add a dark tag.

4254714 Give me a link, I only read halfway through that ( and I don't think it was rape)

4254552

“What?” Rainbow Dash asked. “You don’t think I enjoyed it too? Sex is great so long as it’s safe and everypony’s willing.”

by your own fucking writing, it's rape because she didn't go into this willing.
also, you say that a man raping a woman while drunk because they think she's a whore makes it okay? is that how you were born?

oh, wait, if it was like that then you'd fucking understand why it's bad.

another thing, if you had actually read what MrNumbers said you would have seen that he mentioned how the victim feeling like they enjoyed it is actually a major part of the mental trauma of a rape.

so, not only does your story have a group of stallions getting off scot-free for what i believe is among the most inexcusable of crimes, but you also have a severely traumatized Rainbow Dash, as if she didn't already have shit going against her.

Just add a fucking dark tag. a warning of non-consensual sex in the desc will not do.

wanna see stories that treat themselves like yours?
Originally was marked only as comedy. because the author found spike being raped by Winona funny. And rationalised that its not rape cause Spikes a guy. (He's got a dick, he must've enjoyed fucking her, hyuck-hyuck-hyuck)
Written by Bronystories. i personally find that you can be legitimately compared to him.

4254721 I can't link the story 'cause AdSense has a gun pointed to Lord Knighty's head, so here's a link to his stories. It shouldn't be hard to find it.

Rockin story man. I enjoyed the fuck outta this, and I don't understand why so many people are down-voting it. I would love to get some more out of this. If you need help or whatevers, Im here for ya!!!!

4254552

You obviously didn't read the story all the way through and you missed a few things.

I explicitly mentioned that because your story was unbearable to read. Even before the rape.

Sure, she was forced into it. It wasn't her idea.

That's called rape.

But I wouldn't call it full on rape either.

The courts would, though. Ignorantia juris non excusat.

All the stallions were drunk, and they thought she was a whorse.

So it's okay to rape a prostitute, then? Or is it just okay to rape someone if you're drunk?

A bunch of horny guys were all hot and bothered around a hot mare. They probably didn't hear her.

You didn't say that in the story, and it wouldn't have changed that Dash didn't give consent.

She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But she could have stopped it. She chose not to.

Because it's so easy to say no when a bunch of much larger men are forcing themselves on you. She couldn't even press one of them off her to breathe when she was gagging on the previous assault's seminal fluid.

“What?” Rainbow Dash asked. “You don’t think I enjoyed it too? Sex is great so long as it’s safe and everypony’s willing.”

Which she clearly wasn't... or at least you didn't write her as if she was. Like I said, I ragequit at about the time you got the minor to jump in on the gang-rape.

You need to read a story in its entirety

No I don't. You need to write a story worth reading and advertise it correctly in the description. I have no obligation to finish your rape-fantasy turd.

rather than get all angry and go all out attacking people.

You gave more consent for this attack (by asking for opinions in the comments and publishing) than Dash did in your story (by not choking to death).

Don't like it? Get off your high-horse (pun intended). Nopony cares about your views on rape. It's not like anything you said isn't common knowledge anyway.

If you actually understood what you claim to be 'common knowledge' there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place you ignorant twit.

4254680

I apologize for my abuse of you, it just very much irks me when a mod in a position of power and influence, sets a negative example, because the twits who don't know better tend to hide behind your example. Particularly about spelling and grammar in a writing thread.

I will admit to wry amusement that I, personally, have stuck out in your mind for that long. It's interesting to know that I had that profound an effect, albeit a negative one.

It's unfortunate that we meet again under these circumstances, though I am glad that you're of one mind with me on this.

4254807
4254829
4254051 Why the fuck are you even commenting on something that you don't even like? Why the fuck did you read it if it has something you don't agree with? Are you just being an ass? What was your point to all this? Sorry if I come off a little strong here but I don't understand when people badmouth story that they don't like the genre of the story in question. You acting like this was meant to piss you off or something and its not. It makes no difference if you badmouth a story for what it is anyway. Your being a troll is the only thing I can come up with.

4254873

Because at the time of first comment it did not contain the dark tag, the non-consensual warning, and a friend of mine recommended it in what I now believe was an effort to make me apopleptically mad. Spoilers: It worked.

Why the fuck are you even commenting on something that you don't even like?

Because I didn't know I didn't like it until I started reading it. Also, you know, this isn't primary school where "If you can't say anything nice..." applies. You cannot improve without criticism, which is what I genuinely tried when I started reading, and thus writing that comment.

Why the fuck did you read it if it has something you don't agree with?

Already answered.

Are you just being an ass?

No. Whether I am an arse or not is subject to individuals, but I'm being more than an arse in that I have a valid point. Several, really. The author writes poorly and in doing so mishandles an incredibly sensitive topic, which he further egged me on in the comments over.

What was your point to all this?

Rape is bad. The writing is poor. If you're going to have rape-power-fantasies at least advertise it correctly so that I'm not subjected to it.

4254361

:twilightoops:: " W - what…

:moustache:: " Twilight we can explain. "

:rainbowderp:: " Uhh?"

4254829
oh, no worries. the only reason i even made the thread was because of social pressure. I, personally, am of the opinion that a good mod/leader has to uphold a good standing and example for the underlings. although sometimes fun does need to be had.

Excy #24 · Apr 19th, 2014 · · 4 ·

Ok, let me get something straight. Your story description says:

A bit of non consensual sex with background ponies

While you, the AUTHOR, says:

I wouldn't call it full on rape either.

THEN WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT THEN?
This story has some SERIOUS issues. And if you're saying:

All the stallions weres were drunk, and they thought she was a whorse.

ARE YOU DEFENDING RAPE?
I have to agree with MrNumbers on everything. The story is wrong, you seemingly defending rape is wrong, and I'm genuinly concerned for alot of people right now.

3 weeks later....
Rainbow Dash: Uh Spike...
Spike: Hey Dash hows it hangin..... * notices here midsection*
Rainbow Dash: We have to talk

One trip to the doctor's office

Doctor Redwood:Its yours son
Spike: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage:

Loki #26 · Apr 19th, 2014 · · 1 ·

4254807 Ignorantia juris non excusat. - I liked that.

And you're absolutely right. The issue I have with this story isn't the rape per se. Lot's of stories are about rape and if correctly advertised... well, it's everyone's choice. What I find disconcerting is the fact that the author is clearly unable to understand what encompasses rape and what does not. Worrying to say the least.

... I suppose with ponies the 'she dresses like a slut' excuse is right out of the window.

:fluttercry: poor dashie

Ok, where to start?
This is rape-clop. And not very good rape clop at that.
Worst of all: it is not aware that it is rape clop.

None of them knocked me up and that’s all I care about.

So she does not care about being touched and played with by complete strangers? She does not feel anything about being used and humiliated in public?
You completely disregard the psychological part of rape and the horror of being humiliated and used. And that is, at best, disrespectful for anyone who has ever suffered from being raped, and at worst, a terrible precedence.

Then, there is the ending and low and behold, it is the most offensive part. Let me be generous here: Even if there was some sort of spark between Spike and RD, do you really think it would survive an instance where both of them were forced into sexual intercourse? Don't you think that every time, RD is with him, she would remember the feeling of being abused and hurt. Or the painful sensation of fleeing from a bunch of rapists, with Spike inside of her (which is even stated, hurt her).
I go even further: Basically, they both got raped in this circumstance.
Yes! Spike did not have sex with her because he wanted to or because he felt some emotional closeness. He got aroused by circumstances beyond his control and then browbeat into having sex with her out of an feeling of obligation to keep her from getting pregnant.
Wouldn't that taint every further sexual encounter? The thought of their first shared moment, torn away from them by gawking and laughing stallions? Their first moment forcibly shared and defiled by Rainbow having to felate complete stranger? Shouldn't it end with them hugging and crying over how their original feelings were tainted and defiled by the whims of alcohol fueled perverts?
I usually have a twisted respect for rape fics that depict rape the way it is: Horrible and disgusting.
At least they honest about their perversion and treat the victims with some respect.
This here does neither.
And btw: Arousal doesn't make it less of a rape. It makes it worse for the victims.

PS: What kind of Bachelor party turns into a hooker-fueled orgy?
Maybe its a cultural thing, but so far, I have been to a few and at best, they had a stripper. More often than not, we just used the time to humiliate the groom.

4254051 You know, you would make a stronger point if you left out all the insults and personal remarks and focused on the problems with this story:
It is a rape-centered fic that is not aware of its own implications.
Its not very well written.
It revels in the darkest parts of sexual intercourse so much that its repugnance could make a good statement, if it was aware of its own terribleness.
Those are good point, I agree with them, but focus on the story, don't get personal.


4254873 Why do people comment on stories, they do not like?
Because good stories deserve praise and discussion.
Bad stories deserve dissection.
This story is terrible on several levels and we should discuss it, so we find every single one of them to make sure that the author can learn from it and maybe improve.

I read this because I like reading poorly written stories and laughing at them. I was disappointed to find this was not poorly written. :ajbemused: Seriously, why do good authors put their talents into fics that contain rapey elements?

Oh, right, this was featured. :rainbowlaugh: That's why.


4257391
Aren't opinions just swell? :twistnerd: Seeing as you put so much effort into your reply, however, it would be contrite of me to not address any of your points.

First of all, this wasn't written to be in-character. It has ponies having sex. What causes us to think that ponies even procreate in the manner that we do? It could be purely surrogates, or whatever. Not only does sex break canon pony anatomy, it also is OOC because the characters don't remotely hint at this kind of stuff. That's because it's a show for little kids, I'd imagine.

This was obviously not written as something that's supposed to be a psychoanalysis of rape victims and the distress caused by rape. This was written as clop for cloppers to clop to. :applejackunsure: If you didn't gather that from the story description and the tags, you're going to be in for a bad time.

By the way, ever heard of rape fantasies? You know, like these?

Yeah, those are a thing. Just because you don't like them, that doesn't mean your opinion is law.

If you want to go white knighting about poorly written rape fics, then focus on one that focuses on the psychological effects of the victim and does that specifically poorly--like this one. This is a clop written for clop's sake, that is a rape story written to show the psychological effects and missing the mark so hard that it hurts and is, in some ways, insulting.

In the meantime, remember where you're going and what kind of crowd you're catering to here. This is obviously not written for your benefit. :duck: Not mine, either, seeing as I like reading badly written stuff, but I've got a pretty good idea who it was written for.

tl;dr Don't take everything you read personally.
s3.amazonaws.com/assets.goodjoe.com/images/images-design-image/design/81381-don-quixote-large.jpg

4258253 First of all: Just because you write "clop for cloppers to clop" doesn't mean you can just put out a bad story. There is good clop and bad clop and if someone feels its bad clop, well, that someone expresses that its bad clop. Have some standards, please! :trixieshiftright:
I was not angry when I wrote my comment. I was merely expressing that it turned a traumatic experience into something with a happy ending.
You see, I have nothing against rape fantasies. I have something against rape fantasies that pretend that they are not rape. Here, both RD and Spike were abused and humiliated by a group of strangers. You can have all the fantasy you like about it, but pretending that it was "not so bad" and that it even leads to them bonding and forming a relationship over it is simply going too far. A halfway decent rape story encompasses both the horror and the fascination of being rape. They don't pretend that it was something you can just "walk off".
And I am free to express my opinion on it. I did not come here to "white knight" anything. I was curious how this would go and I express my opinion. I do that on things I read. Not on fics, I have never heard of.
I don't care if it was not written for me. Because nothing on this site is "written for me" unless I commission it. As soon as someone writes a story and puts it out in public, he or she will have to deal with the response of people. So, feel free to disagree with my opinion, but don't tell me to shut up and go away, because you or the author can't take the idea of someone having concerns with something.

PS: And don't give me that "don't take everything personally" crap.
I did not take that story personally. I read it. I disliked it. I formulated my opinion and wrote it down.
Stories provoke emotions and when a story that is supposed to provoke arousal or joy fails at that and simply makes you disgusted and uncomfortable, I think I might want to let the author know.

4263070

Have some standards, please!

I do. I just enjoy reading stories that fall below my standards, your comment made me think that this was going to be jarringly OOC and more of a joke than a well-written fic that's made to provoke arousal rather than attempt to tackle the psychological effects of rape, and I decided to read it based on your comment and a handful of others that made it sound like it was actually going to be poorly written. :ajbemused: I like reading stories for a laugh, this did not contain any laughs, and you made me think I was going to laugh.

I was not angry when I wrote my comment.

Oh, that was not what I meant. :rainbowlaugh: Don Quixote read a bunch of books about chivalry and it caused him to believe that he could be chivalrous. He went around doing a bunch of chivalrous things in the world, but the world basically laughed in his face and he saw none of it because he was so caught up in what he read in his books that he believed he could be that person.

So, it's "mad" in the insane sense, not "mad" in the angry sense. I felt that you were being too critical of the story intended by over-analyzing the portions of the story that it wasn't intended to focus on--hence, driving yourself insane by looking too deeply into what you read.

The author stated,

Contains: A bit of non-consensual sex with background ponies (Note that Spike does NOT rape her).

This basically means that Rainbow Dash was not raped, but she didn't explicitly consent to what had happened. She consented to Spike, but as far as the oral with the random stallions, it was non-consentual, but not rape. It wasn't exactly what Rainbow Dash had asked for, but she didn't struggle to get away at any point, either. As far as screaming, "Rape, rape!" there was very little in the story that lent credence to this. It was even noted that she was somewhat turned on before the whole thing started.

As far as being seen having sex by a bunch of strangers, let me offer the canon fact that Rainbow Dash is seen as a showoff as is, so being an exhibitionist in this case isn't going to completely annihilate her ego--rather, it may even give her an ego boost so she tries to perform better than she normally would. Spike would have been more scarred, but he was doing exactly what the other guys had already done, then doing what they'd encouraged him to do. Being embarrassed about having sex is a very human thing, and we're taught from a young age to be embarrassed about sex, but Spike had obviously never had education of any sort in this. He wouldn't be embarrassed to have sex in front of others unless he was told to be embarrassed about it and believed it.

As far as Rainbow Dash remarking that flying with a penis inside of her kinda hurt, that wasn't the intention of the sentence; she was only pointing out that she'd done something she'd never done before, and her feelings on it. It's not like a little bit of pain completely destroys all semblance of romance. Heck, look at masochists. The pain brings them closer together. :raritywink:

I'm not saying you don't have an argument, I'm saying that you're over-analyzing your argument. It's fine to dislike the story because you don't feel it explores the darker side of rape and this fic gets dangerously close to rape, but you're blowing what's actually written out of proportion. It's almost as if you want Rainbow Dash to be in tears as a cock is forced down her throat and to have her self-esteem shattered while the stallions in there gangbang her. :twilightoops: I dunno about you, but I'm glad this didn't actually involve rape of Rainbow Dash.

See, I've read a fic that does rape well. That, of course, is an oxymoron to me, but it's well-written and involves rape. Maybe that's what you prefer to read. I dunno, I try not to judge.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131028212517/mlp/images/a/a4/FANMADE_Pinkie_Pie_shrug.png

I just don't feel that this was ever intended as a rape-fic, and I feel that the author had clarified that in the description. Sorry that I didn't state that in the last message.

And I am free to express my opinion on it.

I never said you couldn't. I like constructive discussion. :pinkiesmile: Maybe I'm wrong. I like point-counterpoint. You seem like a fun person to talk to, so I want to debate the merits of this fanfic with you. :duck:

EDIT: I also don't like well-written clop, but I think poorly written clop is hilarious. This felt well-written to me, so I didn't like it.

4263214 Ok, this is where I disagree:
The author stating "it's not rape" does not make it "not rape".
If a gang of men corner a woman and force her to give every one of the a blowjob, those men HAVE RAPED THAT WOMAN!
The only reason Spike did not rape her, is because he was victimized by the stallions as well.
And even if you take the road of not exploring the dark parts or rape. Even if you leave all that out, at least acknowledge that she was raped and that Spike was browbeat into having sex with her.

And yes: I want a depiction of rape to have the same consequences as rape usually has.
Because if you write a story where a character is beaten to an inch of his life and left with his bones broken, you would call BS on that story too.

Pretending that rape is something you just merrily walk away from is at best respectless towards real rape victims and at worst dangerous for people who get a twisted perspective of what rape does to you.

4263869
That's like saying suggestion becomes rape. :applejackunsure:

All right, take the stripper mare. The stallions offer, and the stripper mare declines. What a bunch of rapists. :rainbowlaugh:

The stallions are suggestive, but not forceful. They surround Rainbow Dash and start touching her, and while she doesn't explicitly tell them, "Do it," I'm pretty sure she thought rationally about what would happen if she went to the party and was at least partially prepared for it mentally. They didn't pin her down and force her, they were at least partially respectful toward her.

Had they been rapists, Daisy would have been taken advantage of far more than she was. The stallions thought Rainbow Dash was there for something, and she didn't exactly put her hoof down and tell them, "I will not!" before they did it. Had she been gagging and choking as they performed their ministrations, I'd say they were being too forceful and not giving her a chance to speak for herself, but when the second one comes up, it even specifies that she tries to give him a nice blowjob for being at least somewhat gentlemanly about it.

This doesn't sound like rape to me. This sounds more like borderline rape fantasy for RD. I feel as if that may have been why she agreed to do it in the first place--fulfilling a fetish she'd never gotten a chance to fulfill before. That's my opinion, which is just an opinion... but rape seems far too strong for something like this.

Pretending that rape is something you just merrily walk away from is at best respectless towards real rape victims

I'd appreciate it if you didn't put words in my mouth for me. :ajbemused: Seeing as I don't feel it was respectless, I'm pretty sure that isn't an "at best" thing. Yes, this implies that I am, as you put it, one of the

real rape victims

Doesn't matter to me who knows.

and at worst dangerous for people who get a twisted perspective of what rape does to you.

Except that he told us that this wasn't intended as rape. There was no focus on the psychological effects on rape because RD didn't get raped. :unsuresweetie: No one is going to read this, then go out and find a woman and rape her with the impression that she will thoroughly enjoy it. RD wasn't exactly an unwilling participant.

EDIT:

Spike was browbeat into having sex with her.

This I totally agree with.

I'm quite interested to see how the rest of this story hoes so I think you should write chapter 2

4254680 4254730 < implies bronystories is bad.

-saved for later-

4270997
i'm not implying that they're bad, im saying that most of the things that happen in them are better left to fantasy then brought to reality.

4280825 Oh, well I assumed that was a given. Real life rape is no bueno :fluttercry:. In a story though, A-ok as far as I am concerned :yay:

4282523
well, it's not in my book. but its not my right to judge others fetishes, considering i fap to pastel colored ponies.

4285127 And at the end of the day, that's all that really matters :rainbowwild:

Best spike x rainbow ever

When r u gonna write more

Wow I guess I'm gonna be the bad guy for being the one who wanted more noncon action.

And so a few months later to everyone's surprise, Spike knocked RD up. All hell beoke loose when Twilight and Rarity found out.

Thus life became anarchy for Spike.

Incomplete tag...

More​?

I'd also be interested to read more of this. Or I at least wouldn't mind some spoilers of where you planned to go with this. I'm kind of curious like that. :pinkiesmile:

Definitely the best RD x Spike story I've read so far. Looking forward to the second chapter

Comment posted by Gale Maze deleted Dec 6th, 2019

9975063

I made that comment 5 years ago. I don't remember anything about this.

but, neat

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