Oh, you had a bad day at high school?
A couple of douches duct tape your car to a light pole in the parking lot?
Phht, that's nothin'.
Buddy, just kick back, relax, and let me tell you what happens when friends experiment with witchcraft on you.
It all started with the mane... My mane.
Rated Teen for an occasional cuss here or there.
This is amazing. One of best OC fanfics I've ever read.
Good work.
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! I didn't see any errors, so great job!
It would be kinda disturbing to turn into a pony though... But a great way to become a brony.
.....MOAAAAAAAR!!!
But really, nice story you have here. But if you made a sequel, what would it be about? Just 'Lanky', having a date with Emily after the whole pony thing? Or maybe a screw up where the spell can make the cursed one be transformed into the creature quickly but at different times? Or even as to being a long term one, lasting up to three days?
Oh, how much would you bet that Angela would use the spell to play a joke on others? Maybe the victim being you or Sky. It would be funny. But I wonder, if you are cursed, do you get turned into a ponysona version of yourself, or can you get turned into an OC? Imagine me with a chimera tail. O_O......AWESOME!
4279807
4279919
4279947
Thanks! It really means a lot to me for this support. I wouldn't mind it if you guys helped spread this story to other readers. :)
As for you, Raybony, I'm not sure on any of those things. Lol
4279994 No prob. And like I told you before. Ideas flow to my mind that can be good and bad, I just need to make sure they don't explode in madness once I tell them.
And come on, make a little self-insert of you in some way here. And you know what I mean by that. Your name.
4280050
Meh, nope.
:P
This is an awesome story and one of the best transformation stories I've read (and I know dozens). Even better is that you already have it finished. The only downside is that I'll now have bags under my eyes as well from staying up so long.
4280581
Haha, thanks. Sorry for keeping you up all night. Get more sleep next time!
OMIGOSH SOOOO GOOD! OFFICIALLY my favorite!!! I guess I should give these "humans with ponies" fanfic a chance. This fanfics has definitely changed my outlook on them. Now... TO READ ANOTHER!
4280771
Great. I'd recommend "Five Score Devided by Four". Best fic in this genre I've read so far.
4280811 Yeah, I was thinking of that one while reading the beginning, too. Too bad it already ended, but at least that means it won't be left incomplete.
There are some other good stories like that, too, but I can't think of any at the moment.
You should write a sequel, if you have enough ideas. It would be great, and I promise to get more sleep then!
I would really love it if you would continue with this story. You have talent for writing and i think the story was perfect. Just continue with writing. I love it. I totally love the way that i just got pulled info the story. Cool story bro. Keel on going!!!
4283222
Like I said, if I get enough support behind this story, then I will make it happen.
4280811
Omigod, thank you SOOOOOO much for suggesting this fiction! I would've finished sooner, but I got delayed quite a bit (Sometimes the reality of being a middle schooler and having an autistic little brother doesn't give you a break. Damn bedtimes.). Man, I need to just look around Fimfiction sometime and find a random good fic, I need to stop being so picky. Once again, thanks a BILLION for suggesting this. (I'm going to say it right now, autocorrect is evil.)
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No problem! It's one of my favorite Fics.
So... Awesome... I bow to good sir! You have inspired me! I give you... *insert drumroll here* 14 OUT OF FUCKING 10 DERPYS!! -PLEASE MAKE MORE
4293324
Glad you enjoyed it!
Sir, I would hug you for making this story , but I cant... So if you can make continue of it, its just so great!
Welp, read it, thought through it, had different opinions as progressed and now I'm here, writing up my comment.
In all this was a story sewed together well, however, many things were... how do I put it... forced.
Also, the ending felt rushed too.
The conception was promising but the execution was less than I expected.
High school is cliché and generally bad choice for a story (think about EQG... oh god why...) so this story was in a backdraw to begin with.
The witchery thing went mostly unexplained... and the character of Angela as well.
I remember my high school years. If anything near as major happened as a full-body transformation, the first person to see anything different on me would have point it out with the power of a thousand suns.
But anyway. Though I had to force myself to keep reading, as the story was not exactly interesting in its first 1/3, I found my interest later on.So, good job. I suggest practicing writing with shorter stories or multiple chapters.
Welp, I think I should go. It's over 2 am in a Sunday, 'tomorrow' is Monday. Ugh.
-Zeph
4339323
Thanks for the response. Though, I agree with you that it was rushed, the reason behind it was because it was just a fic I wrote for the heck of it over spring break. I only wanted it to be a one shot, so I had to condense the whole story to keep it from becoming too much for a reader to enjoy. And yes, the high school scene was a bit cliché, but I didn't think that at first, seeing as I don't actually go to a public high school myself. The clichés in this story had nothing to do with writing something that would please people, though it was intended to, but rather I like to do writing of stories that I please myself in completing. It doesn't matter if this story isn't entirely literary gold, though it's still great, so long as I, as a writer, am satisfied with it myself. Right now, I can say that I am satisfied with what I've made, even if it wasn't perfect.
...Sorry for the rambling. It just helps me remember what I need to improve. Thanks for the comment, and I'll be sure to get better as a writer. And thanks for reading!
Really, Betty White? Wow... Nope, I can't even...
Please... I really want that ritual. I wanna be a pone.
4339500
I see you easily derail your own monologue, you should work on this. But anyway, yes, you enjoyed and that's an important part, however, making it enjoyable for everyone who reads it, is the other equally important part. So basically, though I see your point and agree with it to a degree, you should consider the generally important goals of a story.
If you need help, ideas or tips, ask me freely via private message, I'm not biting.
-Zeph
4341382
Thanks, will do.
4279947
What the gentleman so elegantly said.
A bit predictable given the school setting (even if I didn't see the crush into the crush coming) but nice characterization and reactions, and I'd love to see just where those crazy kids might take that spell in a sequel.
Just for the record, going hunting for any groups that might be interested and adding your story tends to be a good way to get more readers.
As I mentioned in... the previous comment actually, I rather liked what I saw, so I took the liberty to add this to all the transformation groups I follow that seemed appropriate, but just for the record.
Holy shizer, YUS! Must. Advertise.
4379382
Thank you good sir!
4379673
Wait, already?!
I only posted that thirty minutes ago, and it went from 29 likes to 43!
Oh, well. Guess that means I'll make a continuation! YAY!
Wow, you get outta school later than me, mate.
4379820
I am quite honestly astounded by this quick raise in likes.
I can only imagine what direction this story can go in. Perhaps diving into the more complex and/or darker side of the witchcraft? Maybe lengthening the effects by accident? Unstable magical reaction that EQG's the whole school for a day and causes much confusion? I dunno. Just throwing terrible ideas out there.
Can you do a transformation prank? Making some random guy who messed up with our which girl gets slowly transformed into a pony?
Or how about a try at a multiple target curse, not limiting to one person transforming. Maybe like a date for Lyle and Emily? Kind of funny/cute chapter?
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Haha, I'm honestly laughing both your guys' ideas. XD
1st: yay and 2nd: last Friday in May? My HS doesn't let out until the last Monday in June.
~When you're ripe with devastation
There's a simple explanation
You're a witch's transformation
Trapped inside a high school hall
And no matter how you scratch it
It is futile to resist it
So please, Lyle, stop your crying
And watch the clock on the wall~
(~When I was a little filly
A galloping blaze overtook my city
So they sent me off to the orphanage
Said, "Ditch those roots if you want to fit in."
So I dug one thousand holes
And cut a rug with orphan foals
Now memories are blurred and faces are obscured
But I still know the words to this song~)
~When they've all flipped off your hoodie
And you've got horseshoes, oh goody
Go and find your witchy buddy
As she casts the curse again
While your mom is dramatizing
And your crush is witness-izing
So just let her scratch your ears now
After you leave detention~
...
I regret nothing (even though I probably should)!
4381321
AWESOME!
Dude, never regret this beautiful piece of parody!
Nice story but I rather of said "fuck" then frick. lets be honest frick isn't a word and is fuck is pretty manly ;)
-Digital Brony
The emphasis of "literally" is great, but it's in the wrong place. Perhaps something like "I often went on her computer when we were hanging out, and the first results on her Google Search browser literally always had something to do with Satanism, Witchery and Black Magic."
This story didn't go nearly as south as I had feared.
Bend eldritch forces beyond human ken to your will to perform harmless pranks? No problem!
It was very cute, and I appreciated it. :3
4382305
Meh, frick works for me.
I try to shy away from using the full F-bomb in writing, just because. Besides, there are a lot of words used by authors that aren't even real. But thanks for the feedback anyways. :)
4379739 yay!
4380061 They all sound great actually, definitely not terrible at all.
Can I have the link to that circle ritual? Please?
4342112 MOAR!
I loved reading the story it was so good in my view and seeing this just made me even happier! I can't wait!
This is now one of my favorite stories on here.
You got a real potential for a lot more random (and possibly more permanent, hehe) shenanigans in this. Kudos!
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I can agree with you on the pointing out thing
Especially when a large portion of your classmates have the collective intelligence of a pineapple
This is much better than I thought it'd be.