• Member Since 11th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen May 22nd, 2016

Matthais Unidostres


I am Matthais Unidostres, I'm a Christian and I love FanFiction!

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When Twilight discovers that Diamond Tiara's tiara is an evil magical artifact that turns the wearer evil, she promptly has it destroyed, curing Diamond Tiara of her cruel ways. Now, confused, afraid, and guilt ridden, Diamond Tiara find herself desperate for both redemption and true friends. Luckily, Twilight has three potential friends for her in mind. But can the Cutie Mark Crusaders bring themselves to befriend the pony who has tormented them for so long?
This is meant to play out like an actual episode of the show, theme song and all.
Also, featured here is a special parody song of "I'm a Dentist" from the movie "Little Shop of Horrors". Enjoy!

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 102 )

This is pretty interesting so far... but please do not do any more song parodies, it's kinda jarring to have it go from dark humor to drama like that... but it IS a redemption story, so I'll fave it and maybe put it on my group?

Oh lordy..please continue. :pinkiehappy:

4185114
Oh don't worry. This is meant to be like an actual episode, and they usual only have one song in them. I suppose the actual show would use the words "malicious" instead of "sociopath," but you get the idea. Only one song in this.

Of course DT is inhumane, she's a pony not human. Hint hint?

So far I am entertained.

Though as someone who kind of likes Silver Spoon, I'm not too thrilled with the prospect of her being the only intentionally and curse-free malicious pony around :applejackunsure:

4186171 Silver Spoon was never truly bad. She was just copying Diamond Tiara because no one else would be her friend. Besides, it was always Diamond Tiara who thought of cruel things to do.

4185600 Honestly, I think "malicious" in place of "sociopath" would flow better.

4186145 :facehoof:You should be ashamed of yourself. Go to the time-out corner.

I like it so far. Can't wait for more. I may want to blatantly steal lovingly adopt something similar in one of my stories.

Intrigued...

Do go on...

The whole time I was like ' what is the damn song styled after' then I got to the end and I saw.

Nice.

4185600
"'Cause I'm malicious" would work better because you'd end up with a line that not only has the same number of syllables as the original, but has the stressed syllable in the same position, so it would fit the music more closely. "'Cause I'm a sociopath" not only requires you to cram an extra syllable into each line, but in some cases it causes the stress to fall on the wrong beat, so it disrupts the flow.

Hahaha! Woonadafa!

4187067
The answer to that is obvious.

4187658 Okay, you're right. I'll change it now.

4187476 I put the reference in the description.

4188168 OH. OH, I have a story Idea for you :pinkiehappy:

Sela and Chickenhound in Equestria, I loved Sela in the book.

4186813 What is THAT supposed to mean? :ajbemused:

4189028 That joke was corny... granted, I like corny jokes and laughed, but you must be punished regardless.

You had me at Little Shop of Horrors song parody! I will favorite and read this later! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

Well, I'm interested.

:derpyderp1: Wow, I have to say I really like this so far! The plot is interesting and the song parody was awesome! Keep going! :pinkiehappy:

Rather good so far, just one question.

...How come Silver Spoon isn't in the character tags? Sure, she's an utter toady, but she's DT's utter toady. Just seems rather strange to have a DT focused fic without Silver Spoon in it as more than a bit player.

awesome start so far. I love how you put the opening theme song at the end. very clever

you had me the second you said Little shop of horrors, I haven't read the story yet, but it's on my list.

I like this. Keep it coming.:pinkiehappy:

This is aninteresting story.. so faving!

Interesting, but way too fast.

I LOVE THIS!

I especially love the song! I was just listening to it a few days ago then I stumble upon this, BRILLANT! :pinkiehappy:

Looks promising. :ajsmug:

I like the concept of the story, the grammar is good and the style of writing is good.

But the insertion of the video ruins the immersion completely and instantly puts me in a "Oh god another one trying to make his story look like an episode" cringe.

In regards to that though, if you can follow up by making the rest of the fanfiction look and feel like an episode then I can commend you for completing a difficult task, if you feel you cannot do that then I would recommend removing the video. For the sake of keeping readers, gaining more favourites and not ruining the immersion of the story by making it look like well, something you would find a ten year old make.

Props for using my favorite song.

As a matter of personal preference, I generally don't like Diamond reformation fics that strip her of the need for accountability. The premise tends to do that. Of course, maybe the story deals with issue of how much she should, especially if CMC and company only ever knew Diamond as she is. They'd be torn, I think.

I'm really not in love with the format either. I realize than for some of its plot points the show can be rather simple...and they would do what you did. As a reader, though, I'd prefer more set up and depth. I feel it moves too fast from point A to point B.

I'm on the fence at the moment, I can think of an interesting story with the idea, depending how long she has worn that. If it's for most of her life then there is a legitimate question of who is she really? Of course, if it's been that long, then what does that make Silver Spoon since she would have no such excuse?

So, I guess it's wait and see.

Looks like you're succeeding in your quest of a fanfiction episode for MLP:FiM. :ajsmug:

More Please. This is very good.

You know what would have been a better song template?

Big Gay Al's I'm Super Song

South Park: Bigger Longer And Uncut

4186145 oh that is just SAD:facehoof:

DT's tiara is a magic artifact that turns it's wearer into a evil, malicious individual:rainbowhuh:, I can go with that

now to read what's here:pinkiehappy:

Great concept, and I'm going to watch the story, but holy fuck this is so rushed. Slow down! Just because it's written like an episode doesn't mean you have to have everything take place at 500 miles per hour to fit it in.

Good, good...
...You have my attention. :twilightsmile::moustache::rainbowdetermined2:

You know, I was actually hoping the tiara would get broken completely by accident, and then this big demon comes out and is like: "Curses! My power over this foal is undone! According to the Demon Code, I must now return to the spirit realm!"

And everypony would be like: "...The hay just happened?"

That would have been hilarious. :pinkiehappy:

4198666

I'm on the fence at the moment, I can think of an interesting story with the idea, depending how long she has worn that. If it's for most of her life then there is a legitimate question of who is she really?

It's really more likely she's worn that particular tiara since around the time she got her cutie mark, as it's literally the symbol of her talent. That would mean she's only been possessed since ca Call of the Cutie in season one.

Of course, if it's been that long, then what does that make Silver Spoon since she would have no such excuse?

Honestly, at best I see Silver Spoon as a huge sycophant who just goes along with whatever Diamond does.

Twilight sighed, and she turned to Celestia. "We should probably take everypony with us to Filthy Rich's home. Then we can explain things to everyone at once."

Twilight suggesting for kids to miss school? BLASPHEMY! :rainbowlaugh:

4204563

Yeah, I get that a lot. :ajsmug:

Mind, Nathaniel does make a good point regarding her personality. If she's only been evil for a relatively short period, I'd still expect her to be kinda spoiled even without the tiara. Just, you know, actually capable of empathy.

8

I do agree with Diarch, stories are styled so they are enjoyable to read, not to watch.

Some stuff that kind of irks me but it is not wrong (but can be if you do it consistently in the long run):
with Spike's help of course
There was no actuall need to add it. Though, you could have remaked more subtlety.

What is it? What?" Spike asked nervously.
"Doesn't this look familar to you?" Twilight said nervously
You might want to use another word, or better, show it don't tell it. Those kind of tags can get tiring too.

carrying the stack of book.
Typo or hyperbole?

At all it was enjoyable, albeit fast paced, coinciding with your approach of episode-like narration (wich I kind of do not like but well)

Interesting. I will follow this story. Please continue.:pinkiehappy:

Very nicely done, I am intrigued and wish to see more.

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