This story is a sequel to A Freshly Cut Diamond- Season 4 - The Lost Episodes- One
Princess Twilight Sparkle discovers a very special flower in a secret cave beneath the library. Upon picking it, she awakens a physically young blue dragon named Kenbroth Gilspotten Heathspike, a dragon who possesses immortality for the purpose of serving whatever Princess picks his magic flower. Not wanting to kick the young dragon out, Twilight allows Heathspike to stay with her and Spike, with the hopes that he and Spike could form a brotherly bond. However, nothing turns out as she had hoped when Spike and Heathspike constantly butt heads, and Heathspike keeps on interfering in Twilight's life with way too many rules and protocols she just doesn't agree with. Can Twilight find a way to resolve this problem without ruining Heathspike's one chance to live life?
4263510 Of course! G3.5 Spike is the cover picture after all!
Just a mistake there.
4263531 Thank you
Fucking shit what is g3 spike doing here that guy was a fucking creep!!!.... Okay I'm better now. *looks up* NOPE.
I love this! I hope you make more chapters.
4263989 Don't worry, Heathspike gets taught a lesson soon.
4264855 The Completed tag was a mistake. This is a Three Act story.
*your
*missing quotation mark
*party
Oh, heck no, Heathspike. You don't get to just duck out of this by going into another thousand-year nap. Get back here and take your character development like a drake!
4266907 Thanks.
D'aaww.
Wow it's the princess promonade all over agian
Wow, in this hearthspike must not remember the princess pomanade
Aww
HNNNNG (has heart attack from overdose of d'awww' at the end)
4410356 NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER SPEAK OF G3!
(6 hours later...)
No. Just, no.
ANYWAYS, very promising! It has the feel of the show with everyone in character and the YouTube opening.
JOYESS. THOU MAYETH NOTICED WE ARE USING THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE IN THY COMMENT SECTION. 'TIS FOR WE HAVE MANY KIND WORDS FOR THY WORK, SIR UNIDOSTRES! SUCH A TALE IS ONE OF A THOUSAND YEARS OF PRAISE, AND WE FOUND IT CORRECT TO USE SUCH VOLUME WHEN ADRESSING THEE!
Seriously though, this is great!
D'aa-NOPE!
He's not forgiven! He should have stayed dead or comatose.
2 weeks later...
Sweetie Belle held up her shovel in cheer. She looked at Scootaloo and Apple Bloom.
"Cutie Mark Crusader Miners!" They cheered as they began to dig deeper into the mountain dirt.
Scootaloo looked at a glowing pile of dirt, eyes lighting up. Maybe she found a rare gem!
She began to sift through the dirt, only to find...
Hearthspike got what he deserved. I wish he got that the first time...
Uh oh... I hope Candace can handle him...
I haven't read the whole chapter yet. I haven't read much beyond Fluttershy's line here, so I'll give my thoughts on that:
I have my doubts about that. Culture can only explain so much. When you get down to it, people are people (whatever culture or era you're talking about). And this Heathspike strikes me as a controlling person. As someone who doesn't respect or care about Twilight, but just wants to use her for his own ends. Like a husband who wants to control every little thing about his wife, and mold his “perfect woman” (rather then letting her be herself).
Now this could be innocent. Maybe Heathspike's not naturally this controlling, maybe he was strictly told that this is how you're supposed to serve a princess. But if he was trained that way, well, that would give me some serious questions about the kind of people who trained him. Or maybe the people who trained him are innocent. Maybe Heathspike's just being a dufus, and blindly following his training, even when the result is spiting on Twilight and not letting her make her own choices.
9105715
And now I've finished reading the chapter. Seems that once Twilight put her foot down, Heathspike stopped trying to force her to be someone she wasn't. He didn't get mad, he didn't tell her off, and he didn't keep trying to control every little thing about her. He's sounding less like an abusive controlling husband, and more like someone who can own up to his mistakes.
The friendship lesson at the end is a good one. But why is this only a handful of MLP fanfics that end with a friendship-lesson-letter? Ending with a friendship lesson is (well, was) kind of MLP's thing, and it's a nice touch. I'd like to see more fanfics end that way.