My Little Sly Cooper: Thievery is Magic

by Deyeaz

XXIV - Attack on Robot Owl (A Canterlot Wedding - Pt. 4)

~My Little Sly Cooper: Thievery is Magic~

Written by Deyeaz

with the help of the ever-brilliant Alex Rite

XXIV - Attack on Robot Owl (A Canterlot Wedding - Pt. 4)

“Clockwerk!” exclaimed Sly, shocked at the reappearance of his once-dead archenemy. “How can you be here? Last time I saw you, you disintegrated! Or.. maybe you dissolved, I mean you were in water, but the point is you were dead! And more importantly, you were in my world, not Equestria!”

“Ah, but I have you to thank for being here Cooper.” said Clockwerk, a wicked grin growing on his metallic face.

“I did what now?”

“Allow me to explain, foolish Cooper…”

---

Cold...Dark...Empty…

This is what it was like being trapped in Limbo, such is the fate of all evil souls.

I knew it was my hatred that had brought me to this hellish void, but still the only thing that went through my mind was, “Kill Cooper. Destroy Cooper. End Cooper.”

Then, as if by an act of fate, there Cooper was, talking to Death. Death had opened a portal and as Cooper was about to go through, my Cooper killing instincts kicked in. I was not about to let my one chance at getting revenge on the person who trapped me here escape my grasp. Much to my chagrin, Cooper got through the portal.

But so did I.

However, through odd circumstances, I was not behind Cooper. Stranger still, I was falling from the sky towards a checkered ground, only to be saved by a cloud made of cotton candy. Even stranger, when I was on the ground, I noticed I was in the form of an equine. Quite soon the scenery before me changed into a more normal style, and with that I took my leave.

Over time I learned about my surroundings, finding that I was in a land known as Equestria, and I had come at the release of a chaos spirit by the name Discord. I had not seen any sign of you, but I was not going to let that stop my revenge plan. I began planning, searching, and rebuilding my robotic form. Soon I learned that you had arrived in Equestria, after which I met the changelings, and a partnership was formed…

---

“And now here I am, finally here to kill you,” said Clockwerk, finishing his tale. “I will also have to kill your girlfriend, too.”

“What!?” exclaimed Twilight and Sly in unison.

“Just as a precaution. I do not want to kill you only to find out that there is another generation of Coopers that I will have to deal with,” explained Clockwerk.

“Oh, come on! Why does everyone keep thinking we’ve been doing that?!” exclaimed a red-faced Twilight.

“I know! We haven’t even been going out that long!” remarked Sly, cheeks blooming the same colours as his marefriend’s.

“Silence!” roared the irritated Clockwerk, his outrage palpable in the air, his remark cutting short any more verbal defecation from the duo. “It ends now, Cooper! You and your precious floozy die here!”

“No.” Many had forgotten that Celestia was still present at the time, mainly due to their fixated horror towards Clockwerk’s appearance and his plans. “You may have infiltrated our defences, kidnapped Cadence and replaced her with this imposter–” she pointed an accusing hoof at Chrysalis, who scoffed at her accusation, however true it may be “–but I would never allow you to lay even one rusty claw on my loyal subjects. Is. That. Clear?” She stomped forward a bit, the ground cracking beneath the force of her hooves’ landings.

“Ohh, what’s the pretty little pony going to do?” mocked Clockwerk as he turned towards her, metallic beak so close to her face that she could smell the oil he salivated, “Are you going to use the magic of friendship on me?” All his taunting added to Celestia’s fury, which was evident by the low growl from her throat and her scrunched-up muzzle.. “As if that will ever really work! You and your precious little friends are but mere ants compared to my power.” He turned his back to Celestia. “Chrysalis? Be a dear and finish her off.”

Chrysalis’s crooked horn, obelisk-like and littered with holes, flared an acidic green. Celestia, understanding the danger, charged up her horn with her own magic, a pure gold corona swirling around the forehead bone. Two beams, both loaded with highly-volatile magic of varying colours barrelled into each other with the force of Spaniard bulls, sparks scattering hither and thither.

The pinnacle where the two rays collided with great violence quivered here and there, one summoning what strength and prowess they had to best the other. Celestia’s royal gold beam closed in on Chrysalis, almost disintegrating her into naught but dust.

However, she was fueled by the one thing a pony must never give in the presence of a changeling.

Love.

The love from Celestia for her fellow ponies, the love between Twilight and Sly, and the unrequited love that Shining Armour had to devote to her was what gave Chrysalis the might to push back Celestia’s powerful beam, her green magic overpowering the princess’s in but mere seconds. The beam hit Celestia, burning the top of her horn and blasting her across the room, her crown, which had been knocked off her head, landing noisily a few feet away. Everypony in the room gasped in shock. Twilight ran over to the princess’s side, followed by Sly, Spike, the Cooper Gang, and the rest of the Mane Six, who all crowded around the defeated princess.

Sly began to worry. Chrysalis was a bad enough problem if she was strong enough to take down Princess Celestia, but they’d also have to deal with Clockwerk. Sly may have been able to defeat him twice before, but Clockwerk was pretty strong and had come too close for comfort to killing him. What’s worse, both times he had been back in his world, when he had been a raccoon. He may have been able to take down a griffin as a pony, but he was afraid that Clockwerk might be a different case entirely, especially since he had managed to rebuild his deadly robotic form. Sly didn’t know how he, or anypony else, could take down the lord of hate.

“The...the Elements,” Celestia groaned, as if reading Sly’s mind. “Use them to defeat the owl and the queen.”

“G-got it!” Twilight choked out, taken heavily aback by the very idea of Celestia’s defeat, especially to a queen whose existence they just recently learned about—surely, if she was new, she would have had to be weak to begin with.

But since that wasn’t so, it was all Twilight and her friends could do to spring forth from the reception hall and claim the Elements of Harmony in the hopefully not vain attempts to end the Changeling menace once and for all.

“Murray, looks like it’s time to kick some butt,” Bentley said to his fuchsia companion.

“Awesome!” exclaimed Murray. “That’s The Murray’s favorite time of the day.”

“And with the addition of The Pinkie!” added Pinkie Pie.

“We’re doomed,” said Carmelita, facehoofing.

“Let’s write our final words, shall we?” groaned Rarity, sighing in grief.

“Ah’ll go first, Ah s’pose,” deadpanned Applejack.

“Guys, snap out of it! We’ve got a city – no, a world – to save!” exclaimed Twilight.

“So knock it off and fight back against this big hunk of black homewrecking menace!” coaxed Sly.

“That’s racist,” teased Carmelita.

“Shut up!” retorted Sly. “Okay guys, here’s the plan. Twilight, you and the girls make a dash for the Elements. Carmelita, you go along with them as backup. Murray, Bentley, and I will deal with Clockwerk and Chrysalis. And Spike-” Sly turned his head to the baby dragon who puffed out his chest and saluted to Sly, prepared to receive his orders. “-you protect Princess Celestia from getting any more harm.” The young dragon nodded and stood over the princess, ready to deal with anypony who would attempt to hurt her. Sly doubted that anyone would, though, which is why he gave the job to Spike. This way, he wouldn’t be in any danger.

“Sly, are you sure this is a good plan?” asked Twilight, worry evident on her face.To be quite honest, Sly thought this was the worst plan he could come up with, but they didn’t have time to come up with a better one, so he smiled soberly at his marefriend.

“I’m sure,” he assured her. “Now hurry up and get those Elements here fast, I wanna make sure that there’s still enough time to enjoy the wedding party and grab a slice or two of cake.”

Twilight smiled and gave sly a quick peck on the cheek.

“Be sure to break a few skulls for me, alright, Pinkie?” requested Murray.

“You got it,” Pinkie said as she rapped the fuschia stallion in a quick hug.

“Good luck,” Bentley told Rarity.

“Thank you,” she replied.

Carmelita nudged Twilight. “Look, Sparkle, if we don’t make it out of this, I just want you to know, you’re fine by me.”

“Thanks, Carmelita,” said Twilight, smiling. “You’re okay, too.”

With all their exchanges finished, Twilight ran out of the chapel, followed by Carmelita and the rest of the girls. The Cooper Gang turned to face their powerful opponents, prepared for the battle they were getting themselves into.

“I’m gonna miss the time we’ve spent here,” Bentley remarked sorrowfully. “It’s been fun, but here we are again, preparing for what will likely be our final stand.”

“Come on, Bentley,” said Sly, showing off his signature lopsided grin. “We’ve dealt with impossible odds stacked against us several times before, and we’re still breathing. As long as we have each other, we can accomplish anything. I guess... that’s the magic of friendship.”

Bentley looked up at Sly, a sad smile on his face. “Never thought you’d be the one to cheer a guy up with a sappy monologue like that.”

“Well, Bentley, our time in Equestria has changed all of us. And honestly, I think it may have been for the better.”

“Enough talk!” exclaimed Murray, obviously pumped for the fight ahead. “It’s time to smash some skulls and save the day.”

---

“Wow…” Sly grumbled in disappointment. “We suck at fighting these… what do you call ‘em?”

“Changelings,” answered the Mane Six in monotonous unison.

“Right…” The Changelings tossed aside the Cooper Gang and the Mane Six as though they were naught but a volley of ragdolls. Apparently, their attempts to obtain the Elements of Harmony were in vain.

“That has got to be the shortest, most pathetic attempt at fighting back in the history of ever,” said Clockwerk, his wicked grin growing by the second.

“Well, in all fairness,” replied Bentley, “The Equestrians are more of lovers than fighters.”

“And that’s exactly why I’m here,” Chrysalis retorted. “The love in this city alone can feed my subjects for centuries. The entirety of Equestria is enough to keep us fed for millions of years, and soon, all that love will be ours.”

“Do you honestly think you’ll get away with-?!” snapped Twilight, only to be cut off at the horrid sight of a cocoon-bound Princess Celestia, the alabaster alicorn glancing around with fret at the circumstance she was given.

“Uh… she already might have gotten away with it, toots,” snidely answered Sly.

“Can it!” Twilight whacked Sly upside his head with a hoof, bone hitting bone with a comical “DONK”.

“Ow!”

“Silence!” Clockwerk screeched angrily. “You will pay, Cooper and Cooper’s tramp!”

“Tramp?!” Twilight repeated in deadly ire.

“Twilight is not a tramp!” Sly angrily screamed at the villainous owl. Turning to Twilight, he continued. “She’s the most wonderful mare I’ve ever met. She’s smart, funny, and she always knows how to cheer me up. I feel warm and fuzzy every time our eyes meet, sparks everytime we kiss. She’s the light of my life, my true love, my l’amour vrai.” Sly turns back to Clockwerk, a scowl on his face. “And as long as I live, I will protect her with my life.”

“Well then, it looks as though neither of you have long lives to look forward to,” replied the devilish bird. “This ends here, Cooper. You may have gotten lucky several times, but that was with the help of your comrades. Let us see how you fare solo, shall we?”

“Wha-”

Before even getting the moment to form a rebuttal, Sly felt his body be ensnared Clockwerk’s mammoth metal claws as the alloy-based owl yanked Sly from his comrades and blitzed through one of the windows.

“Sly!” Twilight screamed in both shock and terror as she watched her loved one be swept away.

“It ends here, Cooper!” Clockwerk screeched as he chunked Sly into the air, ready to bite down upon his skull with his enormous steel jaws. Unfortunately for Clockwerk (but lucky for Sly) using his quick wit and reflexes, Sly did a ninja spire jump on the tip of Clockwerk's beak, and then quickly jumped onto his back.

“...Crap.” Clockwerk’s armour looked sleeker, with less fractures in them, and more resilient than their last fight. He looked like he upgraded from steel to something stronger… titanium? His cane wasn’t going to do much with the surface, he feared.

“Surprised, foolish rodent?!” Clockwerk robotically roared in sadistic mocking. “You should be! I’ve taken extra precautions so that I’ll be impervious to any outside attacks!”

Then, *FWOOOOOOSH* went a noise between Clockwerk’s talons, like a long spray of cologne in front of an open flame. Sly, intense focus thrown off by the exclamation, looked down at the source.

“Spike?!” The little purple dragon was being squeezed tightly between Clockwerk’s talons like a squeaky toy in the maw of a dog. Apparently, in an attempt to help his big-brother figure, Spike had grabbed on to Clockwerk as he moved to attack Sly, but had instead gotten himself trapped in the cybernetic avian's clutches. "Dude, what part of 'stay with the princess' did you not understand!?"

“Y-You needed help!” Spike screeched defensively as his cheeks puffed and he let out a flaming belch. There was something off about this one, however. Rather than the emerald, benign blaze he typically let out, this one was a monolithic, towering inferno of crimson fire. It could roast an ox in one blow. “H-Help! It hurts when that happens!”

“Wait a second…” Sly murmured. “How did he do that?” He wracked his brains together, recollecting all of his previous memories after he had gotten to Equestria, and summoned all knowledge of what Spike could have done to have emitted a massive blaze like that.

“Eureka!” It was not what Spike did… it was what he ate. He remembered that Spike had carelessly eaten the Crimson Diamond, the one that Sly had literally lost his life to steal. The Diamond, ground into a powdered solvent by Spike’s teeth, must have caused a reaction with his stomach acid, maybe even altering his combustion chambers.

Soon, a brilliant (or desperately stupid) plan was formed. "Spike, I apologize,” Sly said as he snuck around Clockwerk’s sleek new body and jimmied the little dragon from his grasp. “This may hurt a bit.”

“For you, at least!” Clockwerk bellowed, flicked the coon-pony and drake into the air. The beak was spread open wide, ready to maul and gore the two to giblets and gizzards. Sly jammed his cane in between the metal opening. The resilient wood and gold cane prevented Clockwerk from closing his mouth anytime further as Sly landed precariously on it.

“Hey, birdbrain!” Sly taunted over the sound and fury of his foe. “Open wide and say ‘Ahh’!” The thief tilted Spike’s body towards Clockwerk and began shaking him like a can of soda.

“H-hey, what are you-?!” The question was cut off by Spike’s cheeks inflating with deadly fire, before he belched a grand torrent of devastating flames down Clockwerk’s gullet. Under normal circumstances, Clockwerk would have ground the cane and them into dust, unaffected by the fire. But the Crimson Diamond was special - if abused, it could mean the evisceration of life as they knew it.

Clockwerk’s inner circuitry was being melted and fried by the intense power of the flames, plastic and metal burning acridly and short-circuiting spontaneously. "Spicy, isn't it?" Sly said, feeling that one more bad joke was required. Clockwerk was convulsing beneath them, the voltage and current inside of him being uncontrollable anymore.

“CuRsE yOu, CoOpEr!!” the bird screamed, his voice warbling and changing in both volume and pitch. Finally, Clockwerk stopped moving altogether, his motherboard giving out at last.

Sly and Spike would have celebrated with great glee and gusto… had they not forgotten that they were several thousand feet high.

But they were, so….

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” The two wailed in great horror as they and Clockwerk’s metallic carcass dropped down to earth, the clouds swirling around them and clouding their vision. They flailed comically through the cumulonimbi to grab on to the fallen Clockwerk.

“WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN?!” Spike screamed.

“WELL… IT WON’T BE PRETTY!” Sly responded. Once they burst through the clouds, the two saw what the mountain’s waterfall ended. An enormous pool of water rested at the end, the surface tension ready to decimate their bones to pieces. “HANG ON!”

The body picked up more acceleration, nearly hitting terminal velocity. Sly let go of Clockwerk’s corpse, quickly snatched up Spike, and threw him away from the water in his third desperate plan in the last few minutes (a personal record). The dragon plopped unceremoniously onto the grass by the pool’s base with only a bump or two, yet nothing fatal.

*SPLOOSH!*

Spike turned and saw the massive heap of metal smash into the water, with Sly crashing viciously into it as well. The sound and the angle Sly crashed at weren’t pretty. Not pretty at all. His jaw dropped in terror, and tears were slowly welling in his serpentine eyes.

“SLYYYY!!!!!”

~End of Chapter XXIV~

Author's Note:

Another update after several months of nothingness.

4-day weekend ahead. I might write more, ya know. :)

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

You bring this fic back after it's been gone for so long, and you leave us with another cliff hanger? Well, you've got one thing down pat. Always leave em wanting more.

[Burnasius]

It is alive but now we leave one character possibly DEAD. Nice way to come back.

[The_Huntsman]

huzzah for an update =) is good chapter. Though clockwerk was taken out much quicker then i would have thought.

[Claw_Cannon]

Hey do I feel that this chapter title is a reference to Attack on Titan

[Deyeaz]

4442604
Yiss.

Good work, m8.

[Echo Night]

Awsome cant wait for more!! (yus i can)

[Shadow Burst19]

4446696 I sincerely hope that this is not the last chapter of the story.

[pensuka]

finally that blasted robot bird is down

[NotShadowLotus488]

Plz update and respond when u do

[GrimmWolfDragon]

Loving the story

[Mourningmist]

Hay you still alive? This story gonna be updated or is it dead?

[Haver]

Love it nice more 😀😃