XXII - Marital Problems (A Canterlot Wedding - Pt. 2)
~My Little Sly Cooper: Thievery is Magic~
Written by Deyeaz
with the help of the ever-brilliant Alex Rite
XXII - Marital Problems (A Canterlot Wedding - Pt. 2)
It was odd.
Watching Princess Cadence strut about the castle in a haughty manner was more than odd, pondered Twilight Sparkle. This wasn’t the same Cadence she had been given the pleasure of being babysitted by when she was naught but a young and sprightly little filly.
“Something is definitely up with her!” blurted Twilight, smashing her hooves onto the table outside one of Canterlot’s cafes. The Mane Six, Spike, and the Cooper Gang were shocked and appalled at the scholar’s behaviour. “Something’s not right at all!” She turned to look at Sly. “Don’t you think so?”
“Oh, yeah. No doubt.” Sly had learned from his father at a young age that women don’t want to hear a man’s opinion: they just want to hear their opinion voiced in a much deeper tone.
“And what’s even weirder is that Time Turner guy! Why does she need to have a consultant like him? She’s the Princess of Love, for pony’s sake!”
“You said it.”
“Okay, Twilight–” Rainbow Dash cleared her throat to bring the attention to her “–You’ve gotta let this issue go.”
“Let it go? Something extremely wrong is going on, and you expect me to just let it go!?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” said Murray, earning him a death glare from Twilight. Murray looked away, drowning in fear as he held on frantically to his lifesaver named Bentley. “I’m scared.”
“You said it,” concurred Bentley with a timid meep.
“Twi,” started Applejack, bracing herself for the tsunami before her if she said the wrong thing, “Rainbow Dash’s prolly right: y’all are just overreactin’.”
“I’m telling you guys, something is wrong here, and I plan to find out exactly what.” Twilight got up and started to leave, but not before looking back at Sly and tilting her head as she asked, “You coming, Sly?”
“Do I have a choice?” inquired the ring-tailed pony.
“No,” the other deadpanned.
“Then onwards!” exclaimed Sly, getting up to follow Twilight. “So, what’s the plan?”
“I have no idea....”
“Awesome! My favorite kind!” The other member’s of the entourage watch as Sly and Twilight trotted off, calculating a plot to help them with their endeavours.
“...For Faust’s sake, Spike, stop playing with those cake dolls!” hollered Rainbow, startling the wyvern and Pinkie Pie from their reenactment of the upcoming wedding event. “And Pinkie, don’t encourage him!”
“Awwww....” groaned the duo in defeat.
Twilight and Sly looked around a corner to their targets. Sitting a few yards away at an isolated cafè table, backs turned, were Princess Cadenza and Time Turner, the princess and her marriage consultant talking animatedly with one another.
“Do we have a plan yet?” Sly asked the purple mare from their hiding position inside a hedge.
“A little bit,” Twilight replied. “My plan so far is to follow them, watch for suspicious activity, and document it as evidence.”
“So we’re stalking them and then taking pictures of them when they do stuff that doesn’t seem right,” said Sly blankly, taking out his Binoc-u-Com and setting it to camera mode.
“...Yes,” said Twilight, slightly annoyed.
“I can’t really hear anything. Can you try and use your magic to help us with that?” requested Sly. Twilight nodded, and her horn shone with a brilliant rosy magic corona. It was as though she was a dial radio, the way her mouth was open slightly to resonate any transmission, which was rather warbly and distorted. Sly adjusted Twilight’s ears cautiously. The static sound of no connection warbled and shifted with each tweak of the mare’s ears.
Eventually, Sly picked up on a good signal. With his ear to Twilight’s lips, the Cooper thief could hear Cadenza and Turner’s discussion as clear as crystals.
“...take it that the plan is in motion, correct?” The female voice of Cadenza asked.
“Yes,” answered Turner. “Everyone is none the wiser... expect for that meddlesome unicorn... and Cooper....” The way the stallion said Sly’s surname with such malice sent nasty chilling tremors down his spine.
“Don’t worry about those two. We’ll take care of them soon enough.” Cadenze stood up from her seat, followed by Turner. “You ready the Sword. I’ll take care of the Shield.” They skulked away from Sly and Twilight.
“Yeesh,” said Sly, moving away from Twilight’s mouth. “Whatever it is they’re planning, I do not like the sound of it.”
“Something tells me the sight of it will be even worse,” agreed Twilight. “Let’s follow them some more, but stay...” Twilight cut herself off as soon as she noticed that her ring-tailed coltfriend had disappeared. “...hidden....” She looked around until she saw that he was jumping from tree branch to tree branch, stalking the suspicious duo while remaining hidden at the same time.
Twilight sighed. “I swear that guy’s more like B.F. Cooper than he probably realizes,” she said as she began to traipse off after him. Twilight took extra care in her steps, deliberately yet inconspicuously tip-hoofing behind them to deaden the sound of her clopping hooves, and to appear casual in her movements so as to not attract attention from the pedestrians around her.
On this went for several minutes, until Cadenza split ways with Time Turner, the forks in the road impeding Sly and Twilight for but a brief moment. “You follow Cadenza,” Sly announced once they had reached the fork in their road. “I’ll tail Turner.”
“Right,” said Twilight. The two split up, prepared for whatever devious things their targets would be doing.
Sly followed the mysterious colt known as Time Turner through the city of canterlot, but aside from doing what seemed to be some simple errands, he didn’t really do anything of interest.
I knew I should have followed Cadenza, thought Sly. She’s probably the one doing all the evil stuff. But this is Twilight’s old baby-er... foalsitter, and to each their own villain.
Sly also had another reason for wanting to follow Time Turner. There was something about him that seemed familiar to Sly. The way he stared at him and spoke his name with so much hatred felt like something Sly had dealt with sometime before, but he just couldn’t put his hoof on it. He was sure he hadn’t seen him around Ponyville, and even if he had, he couldn’t think of anything he had done to anger him or anypony.
And yet... even his name seems to be waving a red flag in my mind for some reason, Sly thought. Oh well... better just keep on his tail.
The stalker continued tailing the stalkee, despite the latter weaving in and out of pedestrian traffic and a myriad of alleyways and roads. Sly was numbed and desensitised of Turner just ducking into another alleyway that he could not foretell what could possibly happen next. Nor could he care. Carelessly, the coon-pony galloped into the alley, his routine of tracking him completely occupying his mind.
As Sly turned another corner, he blinked in confusion. Despite the alleyway he had just intruded being a dead end, Turner wasn’t there, looking at the wall in worry like Sly anticipated. That’s weird, he thought in utter bemusement. He’s not there.... he progressed further into the alley. For obvious reasons, I don’t like the looks of this....
*CLUNK!*
Something thick and metallic crashed hard and painfully into the back of Sly’s skull, his cranium cracking under the sheer force of the blunt object that hit him. He went down to the ground like a bag full of wet cement, all thought and sense wiped from his mind as he slumped to the earth with a thud, unmoving, unthinking, and unconscious.
Twilight continued to follow Cadenza down the roads. Despite the unicorn’s weaving, bobbing, and sidewinding through the multitude of ponies before her, Cadenza still had some distance between her and Twilight. Minutes snailed by, with Twilight’s patience finally being tested.
Only when Cadenza had entered a building—her and Shining’s little home, thought Twilight—did the orchid unicorn sigh a breath of relief, glad that she no longer had to follow her through a huge maelstrom of civilians. As the door closed behind Cadenza, Twilight clicked her tongue in frustration: even though she had honed the techniques of larceny from Sly’s book about his Cooper ancestry, she was stumped on how to open a door with making a single sound and disturbing Cadenza, thus blowing her cover.
Glancing about her encompassment, Twilight elicited a tiny smile at the sight of a window on the side of the house, leading directly to the room that Cadenza had entered. She trotted over to the window and peered inside. As Cadenza entered the other room, Twilight followed suit with the window adjacent her. Inside their bedroom, she saw her and Shining Armour, having a debacle of some sort.
“Are you seriously wearing that?” Cadenza questioned skeptically, as Shining readjusted his crimson-red uniform cautiously until his crest, a metal, immaculate clone of his Cutie Mark, was aligned symmetrically upon his chest.
“Yes, I am,” Shining retorted firmly. “It was my grandfather’s, and I thought I should wear it with honour.”
With an offended scoff, Cadenza then pressed on, “Are you disagreeing with me?”
Despite being a hardened warrior and having seen even the worst dividends of battle, Shining still recoiled a wee bit under his fiancè’s harsh leer. “Well, no, I–” Cut off in the middle of his response’s construction, Shining clutched his temple with a hoof, wincing in great pain. Apparently, he was undergoing another intense migraine, possibly due to the immense amount of magical prowess he had to rouse in order to regulate the strength and endurance of the mammoth bubble shield that sheathed the entirety of Canterlot.
“Aw, are you having another one of your headaches?” Cadenza asked as she approached Shining. Her horn sheathed itself in a vivid green corona of magic as she directed it towards Shining’s forehead and fired a bolt of intense energy at him. Shining’s eyes became tinged with green and disoriented, almost chameleon-like as they rolled about in his head in different directions, with a look of shocked excruciation bound upon his face. Wobbly-legged, he tumbled to the ground.
Twilight ripped away from the window, heart hammering like mad and mind processing this recent devastation at about a mile a minute. “She... she’s not just rude and mean! She’s downright evil!” exclaimed Twilight, running off in a hurry to find her friends.
Must... warn the others! she bellowed to herself internally, over and over again, panic coursing through her veins.
She could only hope that she would not be too late.
Twilight ran as fast as she could toward the tower her friends were in. Slamming the door open, she found her friends... wearing dresses.
“Dresses?” Twilight stated bluntly, confused beyond equine comprehension, especially given the predicament on their hooves. “Why are you all wearing-”
“Can you believe it?” asked Fluttershy, cutting Twilight off. “We’re going to be Princess Mi Amore Cadenza’s new bridesmaids!”
“New bridesmaids! What happened to her old bridesmaids?” asked Twilight.
“She didn’t say,” answered Applejack, not being one at all to care for the frills and decor of fancy little dresses, yet was appeased and awed by Rarity’s design for her ensemble’s Southern-esque beauty. “But she did say she would love love LOVE for us to fill in for them.”
“Seeing as we’ve been working so hard and everything,” said Rarity, looking at herself in the mirror, firing flirtatious looks at herself, puffing up her regal mane with a dainty white hoof.
“And you had your doubts about her,” said Carmelita smugly, who Twilight hadn’t noticed because she was standing by the door. The ex-fox was donned in a stunning dress of her own, sequins dotting every last square inch of its surface. Her usually frizzy brunette mane was clean, well-kempt, and curled immaculately. Rich purple eyeshadow shrouded her eyelids, clashing with her milk chocolate eyes and giving them a guise of great grandeur.
Sweet Celestia, am I glad Sly isn’t here to see her. Twilight gasped in shock at her sudden horrific epiphany. Oh, no, where’s Sly?!
“Told you she was an absolute gem,” added Rarity over Twilight’s internal hurricane of whirling thoughts.
“Are you sure this is what I should wear?” asked Rainbow Dash, kicking at the train of her dress with discomfort. “Doesn’t seem all that aerodynamic.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” replied Rarity.
As her friends began to talk excitedly to each other about the upcoming event, Twilight turned around to leave, head hanging low. “I guess I really am on my own.”
The next day, everyone was practicing for the wedding. Princess Celestia stood behind the alter with Shining Armor standing in front, with Spike, Murray, and Bentley standing beside him in black tuxes. The girls- minus Twilight- began to slowly walk up the aisle, heads held high.
“Perfect girls,” said Princess Celestia. “No need to rush.”
Rainbow Dash and Rarity looked at each other, excitement for the wedding evident on her face.
“Then of course, Cadence will enter.” said Princess Celestia, as she and everyone looked towards the door. The guards opened the doors, Cadenza standing there, ready to take her place at the alter. Shining Armor smiled as his fiance began to walk down the aisle.
“I’ll say a few words, and then we’ll begin with the vows,” said Princess Celestia. “Shining, you’ll get the ring from your best mare.”
Shining Armor turned around and, to his shock, noticed his best mare wasn’t there.
...And, even weirder, Spike was still playing with those cake dolls.
“Hey, has anypony seen Twilight?” asked Shining Armor.
Just then, the doors magically burst open, gaining everyone’s attention, and Twilight walked in.
“I’m here,” she said angrily. “I’m not gonna stand next to her. And neither should you!”
Shining began to look slightly embarrassed as he turned to his fiance. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why she’s acting like this.”
“Maybe we should just ignore her,” Princess Cadenza said, agitated that Twilight was ruining her wedding reception for her.
“You have to listen to me!” exclaimed Twilight.
“Oh goodness,” said Fluttershy. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” stated Twilight.
“You sure about that?” asked Carmelita.
“I’ve got something to say,” said Twilight, ignoring Carmelita’s jab.
Everyone looked at Twilight, afraid of what the purple mare was about to do.
Twilight pointed to Princess Cadenza and blaintedly said, “She’s evil.”
Everyone was shocked. Shining Armor moved in front of Cadenza protectively.
“She’s been horrible to my friends,” Twilight said. She then teleported behind Cadenza. “She’s done something to her bridesmaids and Sly.” Cadenza began to back up from Twilight. “And if that wasn’t enough, I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all-” Twilight rolled her eyes disorientedly to emphasise her point. Everyone looked at Cadenza, shocked. Cadenza smiled awkwardly, but stopped when Twilight got up in her face. Twilight smiled, sure that he had Cadenza cornered. Princess Cadenza looked at everypony...
...and began to sob. “Why are you doing this to me?” she exclaimed before running off.
“Because you’re evil!” Twilight yelled after her. Twilight teleported into the doorway and continued, “Evil! And if I don’t, you’re going to ruin my brother’s life!”
Everyone stared at Twilight, mouths hanging open.
“Well, this just got weird,” said Bentley.
“Agreed,” said Murray.
Twilight proudly walked back into the room, only to bump into a very unhappy Shining Armor. Twilight smiled sheepishly at her brother, but he still gave her a death stare that could rival her own.
“You wanna know why my eyes went all-” Shining tried to repeat the motion Twilight had done, but ended up hurting himself instead. He shook himself off and continued. “Because ever since I started to perform my protection spell, I’ve been getting terrible migraines. Cadence hasn’t been casting a spell on me, she’s been using her magic to heal me.”
Twilight was about to ask about the bridesmaids, but Shining beat her to it. “And she decided to replace her bridesmaids because she found out the only reason they wanted to be in the wedding was so they could meet Canterlot royalty.”
“But what about Sly?” asked Twilight.
“He couldn’t be here right now,” said Time Turner, who had appeared out of nowhere right next to Twilight. “Let’s just say he’s in... deep trouble.”
“And if she hasn’t been on the best behavior with your friends is because with me being so busy, she’s had to make all the decisions about the wedding!”
“I was just trying to-”
“She’s completely stressed out because it’s really important to her that our big day be perfect!” exclaimed Shining, interrupting his sister. He turned around and said right into her face, “Something that obviously wasn’t important to you!” Shining barreled past her, stomping away down the hall and as far away from Twilight as possible. “You can forget about being my best mare! And If I were you, I wouldn’t even show up to the wedding at all!” And with that, Shining Armor left, leaving Twilight alone with the others. They all looked at her, appalled, until Applejack spoke up.
“Come on, y’all. Let’s go check on the princess.”
Everyone walked past Twilight, refusing to even look at her. Princess Celestia walked down the hall as well, and looked down at Twilight. The alicorn princess was flowing with disappointment and an upset energy was brewing within, all directed at Twilight as she said, “You have a lot to think about.” With that, Celestia departed as well without another word.
Twilight stood there, misty-eyed and horrified by these recent events. She was tearing up at the thought of what she had just done.
“Maybe I was being overprotective,” she said to herself. She walked over to the steps to the altar and laid down. “I could have gained a sister. But instead... I lost a brother. He was my big brother best friend forever, and now we’ll never do anything together.” Somepony walked up to Twilight and began stroking her mane. Twilight looked up and saw Cadence standing over her, a sympathetic smile stitched upon her lips. “Oh, Cadence... I’m so sorry...” wept Twilight.
Cadence’s eyes flashed green, taking a serpentine guise. Forest-green flames shrouded Twilight as Cadence coldly stated, “You will be.”
Twilight thrashed wildly as she phazed through the ground, as an evilly grinning Cadenza walked over to a yellow eyed Time Turner.
To Be Continued....
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Yay finally an update!
Okay, raise your hoof if you saw this coming. *sees that everypony has their hoof raised* Thought so.
This fic is amazing and you sir are amazing for thinking of the idea. Especially since I recently got back into the games
Something I noticed though:
Uhhhhh
2870329
Derp. Fixed it. >w<
Only question I have, what about Bently and Murray? Is there some reason they're not more worried about Sly's disappearance?
2871424 ...I can't believe I forgot about that.
Thank you for catching that mistake, mate. Why I didn't also include the two of them is a miracle in and of itself.
I should prolly get to editing it so that they're more concerned about Sly, eh?
2871555 Or at least some sort of thing that Time Turner did to pacify them. Like what Chrysalis did with the mane six.
Discord sure like to be very obvious, at the same time, problematic with his warnings.
2871657 I think its that he is being controlled by Chrysalis and forced to to make them not be concerned.
2871896 Agreed. It's one of the little things about Discord that make him so annoying.
.....DISCORD!!!!!!!!
Awwew hellll naw!
This is Echo Foxtrot Alpha Mike to all units, we got a code one-delta-four-zero-niner at grid location Foxtrot-Two-Eight-Niner-Delta. Assemble Bravo-Lima unit with Papa-Sigma-India attachment immediately to my location. Expectation of totally unknown method of shapeshifting, mental domination, and more. Go to DEFCON 2, ALTLEV RED-SIGMA.
[meanwhile on a ship in orbit]
now for the age old question when can you get the next update up? i need to see how this plays out!
Am I the only one here thinking that Time Turner is Clockwerk?
2891609i am also pretty sure he is clockwerk i also believe it was mentioned in one of the chapters
2893029 I was pretty sure it was mentioned but with all the comments about Time Turner being Discord I got a little confused. Besides, what sense would it make if the one villain who is actively antagonizing Sly isn't an incarnation of Clockwerk.
2893029 2896930
Precisely. It's always been Clockwerk. Why some of the readers assumed it was Discord is a bit beyond me.
2898047clockwerk is one of the best villains imo anyway prehaps people could have missed a chapter or something also possible a lot people might not know the history for sly's family then again i could be wrong.
2898223
Yes, that is a possibility to be accounted for.
2900827 Wasn't it, though?
2873197 Sorry it's Clockwerk... don't skip any chapters next time.