I'm a random guy that claims to know how to write. I'm constantly being proven wrong.
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A few weeks after Scootaloo's camping trip, and her experience with those nightmares, Luna's concern for the filly still persists. Intent on making sure that Scootaloo is alright, she goes to visit her one morning.
(This takes place just after Sleepless in Ponyville)
(No icky pedo-junk in here.)
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D'aww. This is just a lovely story.
Dammit, I can't stop crying! Awesome story!
Pimped it out to my small list of followers because really this deserves way more attention
Why didn't they make scoots an alicorn
Regardless of that previous comment I loved this story
Amazing job! I was taken a bit off guard by the "no pedo-junk" part of the description. Then I saw the "Romance" classification and my cynicism almost won out. Still, I'm glad I gave the story a shot. Once I realized that you fast forwarded, I could focus on the story.
Now please excuse me while I cry my eyes out.
This story is brilliant! But, at the end its, saaaaaaaaad!
That was absolutely amazing. Makes one think.
Just great, now I have a sad.
Creepy Luna, watching fillies sleep!
Featured!
Right there, right in the feels. That was lovely and sad and... just take a like and fav and be done with it! Leave my poor feels alone!
Fuck hell, I knew EXACTLY where this story was heading, what to expect and it still tore at my heart strings.
Beautiful, beautiful story. I am barely holding back my tears now, but bravo.
Not bad. Very sweet, and very touching. Well done.
Wow.
..... .... ........
It's been a while since I've read a fic like this.
This is beautiful.
I have to get up for work in 4 hours time, but this was the best "waste of sleep" I've had in ages.
You know this will make it into the Top Rated of All Time, don't you?
This was one of the best stories ive ever read on this entire site.
My feels, Im lying here and crying. Very good.
Beautiful, Just sweet and beautiful. Well done.
Beautiful story. My favourite line was at the wedding when Luna looks at all the ponies and thinks
Because usually the thought would be how lucky Scootaloo is to marry a princess. That's when I understood just how deeply Luna loves her.
That was adorable.
...It would be sad, except that I knew where this was going from the very beginning, so I was prepared for it.
It is stories like this why I love this fandom so much.
As others have said, this is simply a beautiful tale you've crafted, ugugg93. Simple, effective, and incredibly heartfelt--watching the growing relationship between Luna and Scootaloo, from that very beginning in "Sleepless in Ponyville," through maturation, elation, and heartache, to its sad but uplifting conclusion, was a joy to experience. Thank you for this wonderful glimpse of why the phrase, "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all," still carries weight. Well done.
I feel like this is best read while listening to
You're evil; this is so sad, and so perfect. I think I wanna cry, and yet I wanna smile...
Truly a wonderful story.
*tears going down my face* hnnnnng must.not. cry!
...God fucking damn it. Halfway through the story, I told my computer screen that you'd better not do the gravestone scene. I saw it coming, and I didn't want to read it. But no, my conscience told me, the sad and tragedy tags aren't on this story, he wouldn't do that to us!
Fuck my brain, fuck my conscience, fuck my computer, and fuck you.
Also, it was an excellent read, and you're an excellent author. Fuck you for that, too.
[In case my angry rant blocked out what I actually felt about this story: It was fantastic, and I'm not really angry. Just a bit emotional at the moment]
This is why I don't read sob stories......They ruin the whole rough guy act.
My feels. They hurt.
This was a beautifully written story, and very moving emotionally. Luna knew what would eventually happen, but was still hurting in spite of that, or perhaps because of it, when it happened at long last. The final "Goodnight, Scootaloo" was just so precious.
You have a like, and it's going in my favorites. Thank you for this.
Aww.
Hey, no, wait! Put the pitchforks down, it was a joke!
Well, it's been two days and this is off of the featured list, so I think I'm going to see fewer new comments coming in. I see this as a good time to reply to these
freakscomments4562129 Thank you! I appreciate the love
4562588 I'm glad you liked it! However, if you are still crying at this point, you probably want to see a doctor.
4562876 You're awesome! Again,
4563486 Not sure why you're getting a lot of downvotes for this, because it's a pretty legitamate question. I have a long answer and a short answer to this. The long answer is that being an alicorn is pretty huge step, even larger than being royalty. Being royalty just means you are royalty. Being an alicorn is (as I always have seen it in my stories at least) being as close to a diety as you can be in the series (or at least a demi-god). Hell, the three known alicorns have the Sun, the Moon, Love, and Magic as their special talents. Pretty major. If you don't know what I mean, look at Prince Blueblood: he's royalty, but not an alicorn.
Short answer is I didn't even think about it myself.
4563495 And regardless of how my previous comment might have sounded, you're always awesome!
4563710 Trust me, half of the stories that have one of the CMC in a romance a non-OC non-Spike non-CMC story ends up being... well... it probably requires a visit from Chris Hanson. I tried to dispel those concerns with that comment. I appear to have failed.
4563966 Sure it is, but think of it this way: they lived their entire lives together. It's sad in the sense that she died sure, but they enjoyed (nearly) every moment they had in their lives.
4564008 Personally, I'm thinking about what flavor your avatar would be if he was a candy, but that's just me.
4564030 (Copied from a previous reply) Sure it is, but think of it this way: they lived their entire lives together. It's sad in the sense that she died sure, but they enjoyed (nearly) every moment they had in their lives.
4564073 At least she doesn't own a white van or something. That'd be super awkward.
4565195 Let us rejoice via doing something silly, like throwing our arms in the air and making strange noises with our noses.
4565384 If I hit you in the feels, then I succeeded. Glad I got a touching reaction and glad you liked it
4565434 Thanks! Glad you liked it! Hope Lyra is okay! GET IT!? LYRA HEARTSTRINGS!? ... I'll see myself out...
4565791 Very many thank yous! Glad you enjoyed it
4565831 Whoa there. I wouldn't go as far as to say "All Time Ever" or anything like that. Good maybe, but let's not go crazy here.
Many thanks regardless!
4566518 Wow! Trust me when I say there are many better ones out there! Now go and read them! Regardless, thank you!
4566537 Well I'm glad you liked it and I hope you are not hurt from the fall or something... yeah... my jokes suck.
4566576 I'm taking it that the feels got to you? EXCELLENT!
Thanks for the praise!
4566580 Thank you for the love!
4567617 I liked that line myself! Personally, my favorite line was the hamsters running the nation one, but that's just me.
4567798 So you could brace yourself? Sounds like a good plan. Thank you!
4567808 I was worried that people would focus on a single scene or something like that, but I am very glad it appears (by your comment) that I was able to present the whole picture well enough. I did have another scene that I was heavily debating putting in (when Scootaloo and Luna find out Scootaloo is pregnant), but it took away from the next scene, for the reason for the woes was waaaaaay too obvious. Thank you for the lovely love!
4567851 Basically my story right there. Oh, by the way, if you could read my story in a little over four minutes, I am impressed.
4568226 Am I evil, or did I give you what you really wanted? If you want, I could have blunted the ending way harder, but would that make a good story? Hmmmm!!!
4568278 Shame that it's raining today, isn't it?
4568344 Not sure how to reply to this comment, but love you, Love! Lick!
4568411 Glad you liked it! Yes yes, I did the cliche tombstone scene. I debated with the tags, but hear me out. Tragedy is definitely not it. Tragedy is when the hero goes out to do their story and, despite their efforts, fails. A Romantic Tragedy would be Romeo and Juliet. Sad, on the other hand, is something that was iffy, because a sad story is just a story that is sad in general, whether because of the situation or the characters. However, looking at this story, of the sections of the story, only the miscarriage and the death are really sad scenes. Sure, Scootaloo's Father's subplot was sad and there are moments of other sad parts, that's really not the driving force. It is more similar to Disney's Lion King. Sad parts? Definitely. Sad story? No. Hope I explained myself!
4568875 My plans to harvest tears is coming to fruition!
4569017 The part that Luna knows the end of the story (Scootaloo dying with her still alive and well) is something Luna would try to put to the back of her mind the entire time. Did she succeed? I'm not sure
4569180 Dude, hit the mature check mark and just look at the new stories. You'll find all kinds of... hmm... smut of that sort. BUT NOT HERE! WE ONLY DEAL WITH LEGAL SHIT HERE (mostly)!
My god just stab me in the back with that dagger of feels!
4569339 No, I managed to stop crying an hour after finishing the story when my husband blew up a milkshake. After that, I couldn't stop laughing for a while!
*Give a full Formal Wolf Bow*
Well Written, and Well Done!!!!
Wow, the world needs more Lunaloo like this. Made me cry like mad, although I still think the Lord of Overia is like, king of the ovaries or something.
Beautifully done. It's full of stars.. Oh, wait, that's Luna's mane.
4569339 No no, I walked into that one, I deserve it. I would have done the same
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
--arcum42
i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb317/Lord_of_Change/my_feels_525_zps865f41ff.jpg~original
The graveyard scene, while well-crafted and hitting all the right buttons, didn't actually affect me all that much. More because I've seen/done it often enough to expect it. What really struck me was the scene with the aftermath of the stillbirth. I applaud you for both not going the syrup-sweet route of Scootaloo and Luna having a foal, and for leading them all the way to the eleventh hour before dropping the hammer, and dropping it well.
4569339
Okay I know I was being optimistic when I said "Best of All Time", but seriously, while reading your story it kept reminding me of "Keepers of Discord".
Similar length, single chapter (plus very short epilogue), single POV....
And both stories are captivating.
Point is.... who knows??
LunaLoo isn't new, but this is a more unique take.
It's definitely one of my favourites.
This story hit all the right switches in my heart.
10/10 Excellent story
Goodness me... Luna's gonna have one Hell of a polygamy going on once she's put to rest, that's for sure.
Seriously though, real talk, that was a fabulous story. Good show!
4569339 Very many welcomes, though I think everyone would appreciate it if your next story wasn't quite so devastatingly effective against our feels.
very good
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go fill the ocean with liquid pride
"Good night, Scootaloo"
1) We need a picture of Scootaloo in that wedding outfit.
2)...Wait for it...
3...
2...
1...
THE FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS!!
Had to fight back some teary eyes on the streetcar, even mentally prepared for the inevitable tragic ending.
I pretty much have a policy of instafaving any story that can make me cry. Or want to cry.
And really, it wasn't even the death scene (Except for the "I just wanted to go on a walk!" line. That was a stiletto to the ol' ticker). It was the scene before that. Luna's love and loyalty, even as Scoots deteriorates into senility is just incredibly profound. The grave scene with Luna promising to try to go on, despite how inordinately special Scoots was, was pretty amazing too. Though it probably would have been moreso with more time to show that specialness. Seems like a bit of an informed trait, as is. But c'est la vie.
All in all, this story was far, far better than I was expecting, coming in. And very different from expectations too. Much love.
...GAH THE FEELS!
This is the first LunaXScootaloo fic I've ever read. And it was beyond fucking amazing.
4569339 No i mean it I've read tons of stories only one is better than this one i rarely ever cry during a story and this made me cry twice so you did a great job.
have
________________________
OMC! I could feel Luna's heart shatter. This fic was both amazing, and one of the saddest things I've ever read.
4573847
What's the one story better than this one?
Easily slipped into my top 10. Beautiful.