• Member Since 7th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Aug 14th, 2015


I'm a random guy that claims to know how to write. I'm constantly being proven wrong.


Just over two years after her banishment ended, Luna now rules over her night with Celestia's day. However, the night can become a very boring place, and when you have way too many hours of nothing to do, you tend to make... interesting choices in terms of activities.

Note: This takes place before season 3.

Many thanks to Kitsunehero for editing.

Featured on Equestria Daily.

Chapters (16)
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Comments ( 551 )

Luna is far too adorable for her own good.

but a millennia of flight had taught her a thing or two about how to twist and turn through tight areas.

millenium is the proper word here.

Hmmm. Interesting.

I absolutely love the way you portrayed Luna in this :pinkiehappy: can't wait for more.

Here is an idea, Luna: Go clubbing. Equestria has Raves now, if DJ Pon3 is anything to go by...

While I do love lots of comments, the good thing about only a few is that it makes responding to them all very quick and easy!

1758054 I don't think adorable is the proper word... (Please ignore the belly rubbing instance :rainbowwild:)

1758557 Actually, while you are correct, I should remove the "a". :pinkiehappy:

1759061 I hope it is! Uninteresting things are not very fun to read.

1759627 I've seen enough "I'm mopey and sad", "I'm bubbly and silly", as well as too many "I don't understand the modern world". Here's to me breaking barriers! :derpytongue2:

1759886 Ah, but she hates those drunken loons. Remember? :twilightsmile:

That was a blind post. I haven't read the story yet. :facehoof:

This is still pretty good, like I said before. :pinkiehappy: Oh, the belly rub bit still gets me! :rainbowlaugh:

1768824 *flips table*

1769032 No lie, I totally bookmarked that.

1769760 Probably my favorite part about the chapter!

1770738 Mine, too! Hee! :rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy: Bellies!

Very cute stuff! Hope to see more. And here' hoping you make it more permanently onto EQD. I swore I saw it the other night but when fimfic went down for maintenance the post vanished >.<


Really? Are you 100% sure? If so, I'll email them about it (it did get accepted), but I don't want to complain, and have a response back saying "Dude, you're a dumbass"

Well look at it this way. I'd never heard of you before this :pinkiesmile:.

I found this story by following the (Then dead) link on EQD. And if by chance they do call you a dumbass (Which I really can't see them doing. They're nice folks!) You can come and throw eggs at me or something :pinkiehappy:

If you like I can toss them an email and that way if I was wrong it only makes me look silly. Trust me I may not beon the level of pinkie pie but I'm not bad at it XD


Nah, I have no shame. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't bothering them or anything. Though if you ARE wrong, I'm egging your house.

1777784 Aww, okay! Just make sure to use eggs you can't bake with otherwise you should come over and help me make christmas cookies!

1777692 Good news, your story made it onto EQD and a bunch of people noticed it.
Bad news, that particular post went the way of the Sombra at some point between then and now.


Somebody didn't read some of the comments that are directly above your post that talks about that whole thing :rainbowwild:

1780263 Oh, I read them. I just got the impression you didn't know if it had been on EQD or not.:coolphoto:

1780278 Emailed them, and this was the response:

According to the blog authors, it was taken down because the link wasn't working. Send me a working link and I'll have them put it back up. Sorry for any inconvenience.

My guess was it was because of the maintenance last night. It'll probably be up again tomorrow.

Hmm... interesting... :twilightsmile: Looking forward to more.

Really enjoyed this, fave'd and thumbup'ed! (is that a word??) One very, very minor point - not sure if intentional or not, but in the Lunar Court scene there's a line 'Like several of my men are currently failing to do' - doesn't seem like a word that would be used? Otherwise, brilliant story and eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

1782193 Glad you approve! Have a Pinkie :pinkiesmile:

1783527 Hmm... good point. I wasn't talking about people, and more soldiers, but I definitely see what you mean. Changed to "soldiers" :scootangel:

I'm favoriting this, since it looks very promising. You do offer an interesting take on Luna's reacclimation and you do feel genuinely sorry for her. I like the dynamic between Luna and Vigilant and the conversation scene with Celestia felt very well written.

Keep up the good work.

Keep up the good work.

Is a carousal a merry-go-round that gets you horny?:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

And did you get the tax thing from "Luna vs. The Microwave" et al?

1783749 Thank you! Though let's face it, when you say "dynamic between Luna and Vigilant Watch", you really mean "I wanna rub Luna's belly"

1784616 Dat file size :rainbowwild: Oh, and thanks!

1784738 Oh trust me, I plan on it... :moustache:

1785855 ...Maybe. Oh, and I never read the story. If I "took" something from it, or any other fic, it is purely coincidental.


That goes without saying of course :)

A delightful read. This has minimal fanon intrusions, the most obvious being also one of the most acceptable, Everfree City. The dialogue is excellent, the action show-style (though longer in form), and the plot is thickening.

One typo I noticed:
"- trust me when I say that I art glad Captain Vigilant Watch beat the idea out of him."
This archaism should be:
"- trust me when I say that I be glad Captain Vigilant Watch beat the idea out of him."

1786496 Your face goes without saying!!! Oooooohhh!!!! I'm dumb.

1786656 Never heard of it referred as "Everfree City" I just assumed that, as with any Medieval/Renaissance era society, the capital would be one of the most powerful and wealthy cities. As for the Old English... I'll have to trust you on that. All I know is that Old English is similar to German when it comes to grammar and such, but that's it. Regardless thanks for the response! :pinkiesmile:

I'm sorry but i lost it when Luna asked the captain to sctrach her belly. :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:
That was INCREDIBLY funny :yay:
Brilliant story, keep up the good work.

1788593 That awkward moment when that's the high point of my story :raritycry:

1788915 The story was that it was posted, but it was posted when fimfiction was going through the maintenance Sunday night, so it was a "dead link", so it was taken down. After emailing them what was going on, It was put back up yesterday.

1789058 You mean
"That awesome moment when that's the high point of my story. :raritystarry:

>>>As quickly as she could, she whisked off the sleepwear with her magic, and quickly deposited the laundry in the hamper for the servants to take care of. With another flash of magic, she brought the necklace that lay on her bedside table to her neck, quickly followed by her crown to her head. It only took a few moments to complete all of the tasks, and after taking a few steps forward, she stepped into her slippers.>>>

Vigilant Watch strained to keep himself under control, "The Princess is dressing right in front of me! Must not wingboner... think about horrible things... Diamond Dog pole dancers... *he vomited in his mouth a little* Ah there we go.


>>>Even if she regretted what she had done, and wished that she could take the last thousand winters back, the thought that Princess Celestia, her own loving sister, would decide to send her to the moon for a millennium instead of any other logical or just manner of punishment was unforgivable.>>>

Somepony needs to sit Luna down and explain that with Celestia having to use all the Elements on her own, with Luna's heart darkened with evil and her own heart near to breaking, sealing her in the moon was likely the only thing Celestia could manage.

Somepony also needs to point out to Luna that Celestia HAD tried to reason with her, but it's very hard to reason with an insane demi-goddess who wants to plunge the land into eternal darkness, regardless of the fact that everything would freeze solid within a few days and plants can't grow without sunlight even if magic made it stay warm... thus condemning everypony to a slow death by starvation instead of freezing.

In other words, "STOP BEING EMO LUNA!! Or are you looking to spend some more time with your dear friend Skippy the Moonrock?" :trollestia:

>>>“So just what are you dreaming about?” The navy blue alicorn smiled.>>>

Turns out, sex. :rainbowwild:

1789108 Sure. Just remember it's all downhill from here. All I've got left is yo mama jokes, memes, puns, and fart jokes.

1789533 Spoilers: Vigilant Watch was castrated before he took the job.

1789740 Hard for me to comment on this, and not accidentally spoil something (wrote and deleted three things so far). All I can say is just put yourself in Luna's shoes, and what she has (maybe somewhat justifiably) gone through (plus what I added in the story somewhat), and try and argue that there's not a chance she'd be pissed as all hell.

1789752 Duh.

1790404 Dreamin' about sex... with a Diamond Dog. *Luna vomits into her mouth a little*

I've just found my running gag for this story! :trollestia:

Very nice chapter. Can't wait for more!

1791626 Sadly, I will not be partaking in this gag with you (at least when it comes to text)

1792868 Me either!! ...Wait...

(Joke) Alt. Title: Luna Dreamscrapes The Bottom Of The Barrel

this task was magnified that she was using the Memory Extractor spell

Because she was using the Memory Extractor

Smiling to herself at her recent successes, she tweaked the spell slightly more in an attempt to clear up the static. Apparently that was all that was needed to get through, and as she shortened the wavelengths of the magical resonance more and more, she was met with more success.

You could probably do without "at her recent successes"

Waving a hoof to his left, he against bellowed,

he again bellowed

the tight braids that were fashioned on into his brown head-hair,

I don't think that "on" is supposed to be there.

It's a conspiracy. They're hiding from me until the chapter goes up, and then they pop out and mock me.:applecry:
(Five bits says someone else catches something that I still managed to miss.)

This was by far the strangest thing that she had ever seen in her entire life, and she was sure that nothing would ever top it. Granted, dreams did strange things, but dreams weren't typically this weird... right?



*laughs* very cool stuff *slow clap*

That dream was more coherent than any I've ever had.
Most of mine have disjointed settings and a gradual (or not) unraveling of time. Colors are upsetting, and my dreams (like my memories in general) are permanently in 240p and has audio that doesn't go through your eyes but goes straight through your head. Perspective also has a tendency of switching rapidly. I wish I had normaler dreams.

1810721 I'm... I'm not going to lie. I have no idea what that means :rainbowwild:

1810775 I try to make sure to edit two minutes before the story goes up... I MEAN I DON'T DARE EDIT IT AFTER YOU EVER!!! :pinkiehappy:

1811021 That might or might not be foreshadowing :twistnerd:


1811327 Thank you, thank you. Please place payments at my paypal :trollestia:

1811436 What? Terrible puns? You should be expecting terrible puns.

1812852 If I tried to make a dream like that, I would basically be mashing random keys on this keyboard. Don't think I would get many readers that way :twilightblush:

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