I'm a random guy that claims to know how to write. I'm constantly being proven wrong.
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We all know the story. Discord was released, had his day of fun, but was eventually defeated by the Elements of Harmony. But what if things didn't go exactly to plan, and Discord didn't sit there and take the final hit? Instead of the God of Chaos being encased in stone, the Mane Six find themselves far from home on an adventure that will change them all. With villains around every corner, and allies in the most unlikely places, how will they defeat Discord?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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it's about time someone did this...great work by the way!
This is brilliant so far. Moar I say!
Appoligies for not leaving a longer review but that's all I wanted to say.
Aw.
Here I thought they would been chased out of town by a mob with pitchforks and torches, ''Burn the witches!''
166160
Don't be ridiculous! How would ponies hold pitchforks?
166331
HA
Those last four words are cursed. I anticipate... well, there's nothing to anticipate in a world we know nothing of.
Interesting idea mate.
Gyah! I have so many questions! Since he's obviously/probably not gonna kill 'em, he likely wants them alive. What for? And why'd he react to the pegasai's names? That's it, I'm tracking this!
189213
Well if I just out and told you, that'd be no fun, now would it?
190848 No. No it wouldn't. Truth be told, waiting for these questions to be answered is half the fun and spoilers... well, you get the idea.
Please remember to Rate and comment!! It helps to stoke my ego
oh my god. MOAR!!!
I'm still counting on a twist with Sarlaka.
Can't wait to see the next chapter!
Well, that pretty much answers nearly every question I ever had about this fic, but nearly 1500 years?
Truth be told, the behaviour of day and night should've been a bit of a giveaway and it sorta makes sense why magic's outlawed now. Not sure why the world's like it is though...
191945
When in doubt, I'm pulling a fast one on ya
192639
True true... guess I need to introduce a dozen more questions...
Spike is Sarlaka, calling it.
With the death of Spike being Vader/Anakin-style.
200251
Vader/Anakin-style?
200583
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6RZ1CV-44s
Not saying it was the same, but along a similar style.
200805
If my work computer could run youtube, I'd watch it
166331
Hoofs are Magic....
img.ponibooru.org/_images/a54f38d18074ca2e8c30bc00552f7c7f/62815%20-%20Discord%20Hubble%20chaos%20khorne%20skulls%20warhammer_40k.jpg
That is all, keep up the good work my good sir.
it'd be cool if spike was sarlanka
man. I wish my story could fit into this........
But it's still WIP
But it would have been great
Nice story by the way
It has only just occurred to me, that while this fanfic is in my favourite list, it was not being tracked. I have now just fixed the grievous error and considering my enjoyment of this fanfic so far will carry on to review this fanfic. Admittedly I doubt that this will be as good as my reviews of norm, in part due to my currently dull mind (my brain has apparently decided to have a daylong nap) and also a result of this review being only a brief analysis on all the chapters so far. Do not fret though, future reviews will be analysing one chapter and one chapter alone will enable to be more precise and detailed. This appears to be enough chit chat from me and I really should get onto the part you want to read; the review itself.
Every time I have tried to start off with praise for this fanfic I end up rambling on about my favourite parts so far, so I will change my reviewing style a slight bit today and start off with my criticism first. Minor errors in the form of missing words, a misplaced word, or the improper use of a word (such as using the wrong tense for the word) can be found in every chapter so far. At most there tends to only be a couple of such errors in the chapters, and as minor as they are the readers are more than likely to automatically correct them while they read, but it is something worth pointing out. Your heavy amounts of description reveal your vocabulary to be rather average, and while I found myself satisfied, I still feel it's an area worth improving on in future chapters when you can and when you have the time. The story is very slow and some of the description feels unnecessary however I can withstand a slow paced story better than a rushed one and I personally enjoy description even when it is not exactly needed.
Now onto what I like about this fanfic. First, it's really solid and well rounded, everything about it feels good and nothing about it feels bad, there are simply areas not quite as impressive as other areas. The story is fitting with the feel of the show, it's dark but not enough to warrant a dark category, the action is fast paced and violent but imaginable in the actual cartoon, and the majority of the humour feels like it could be a part of an episode. The description-Holy heck the description, you actually described the scenery. I mean sure, fanfic writers are more willing to describe scenery when they take their story to new locations but still, you made me read gigantic chunks of description concerning how everything looked, and I loved it. Not only are you willing to take the time to describe the setting but you describe it well, and I could picture everything you described about the locations. Writing style is rather plain but it works and offers a lot of freedom, particularly when you have the focus on the different characters. The characters are presented accurately, with noted regards to their speech and thoughts, and the whole thing has been enjoyable to read.
There are many parts of this story that I have come to love, the depiction of Clyde and Martha being one of them. Though they told on the mane 6 as it were, you manage to present them as being good people even after this act, and it’s something I appreciated seeing. The character of Sarlaka is another, as while I do not like him I do find him a deep and well explored character with plenty of twists and turns to his story. I thought he was going to turn out to be Spike and while this appears to have been refuted by the story itself a part of me believes it still to be true (their appears to be hints of him being Spike or at least being connected to Spike in some way, I guess I'll have to read on to know the full story behind this character). My favourite two parts of this story so far come from chapters 5 and 6, the depiction of Pinkie Pie and the light FlutterDash comedy (not sure if that's what you were going with but it played out like it). Pinkie Pie's presentation in chapter 5 is deserving of a round of applause, it was not only accurate but well reasoned, and provided a simple and easy to understand explanation for a lot of Pinkie Pie's character. As for the light FlutterDash comedy moment (again, not sure if that was what you were intending but this story does have the romance category so I can hope), not only is FlutterDash my Friendship is Magic OTP but it was also a well pulled off scene. I went from smiling at Rainbow Dash waking up, giggling at her rush of thoughts (I swear, if you had written down one of her thoughts as 'was I any good' I would have burst out in hysterics), and grinning at Sarlaka's comments.
Well now, looking back on it this review came out a lot better than I had anticipated. I wish I had some better criticism for you to help improve your story but with my mind as lazy as it is at the moment this was about all I could unearth (quite possible fo it to be all there was to unearth). As you can probably tell I have enjoyed reading your story, its a magnificent one and well told, and I will of course be sticking around to read and review when it next updates. Astonishing job, keep up the fantastic work!
202797
By length alone, I feel like I should reply in some way to this
First off, damn. Not going to lie, that comment is almost as long as the story itself! Before I go any further, I'd like to thank you for taking the time and putting such an in depth analysis into my story. I'm glad everything you said doesn't just boil down to, "durr, ur grammar sux" or something like that. For that, I thank you again.
For the positive praise, I'm glad my descriptions aren't turning into giant walls of text like I was afraid they would. I honestly see so many stories that glance over the scenery, or say, "yeah, its green here... yup," and while yes, my the vocabulary I use is MAINSTREAM (the best synonym for average I could think of
), I'm glad its enough!
As for the fights scenes, I'm glad it worked out; it was another part of my story that I was worried about, and you saying I did well in it relieves me.
Yeah, I know that the pacing is a little slow, but I feel that unless I take it slow, its hard for me to dig into each character the way I want. Not only do I have to do the mane six, but then there's Sarlaka, Clyde, Martha, and the other (if few so far) side characters I'm trying to make more than a name on the page. Yes, I was afraid it was too slow (a question I've asked my pre-reader enough about to have him hit me with a stick), but I'm glad its not TOO slow.
And come on! You don't like Sarlaka?? He's only an ancient dragon who has killed thousands
As for everything else you said, I'm not going to comment for various reasons, most dealing with not wanting to accidentally spoil something.
I literally cried to this.
Actual tears, and that has never happened to me because of any story I have ever read, not just MLP.
I might say "I cried manly tears" etc to express that it was sad, but these are the first tears I've shed for a story.
I've nought else to say but the above, and that it is an amazingly well-written story and I enjoyed reading most of it, and cried for the rest of it.
I would ask for more, but my heart just might shatter.
Didn't notice the scale colour 'till just now, but I'm agreeing with everyone who's saying "the dragon's Spike."
He was talking to Applejack so he'd probably leave her out but;
Hus mum=Twilight
His mate=Rarity
His sisters=Pinkie, Fluttershy and Dashie.
... But if that's the case I have to wonder why he excluded her when mentioning it...
I love every chapter of this, and I've never been so angry at a cliffhanger. Keep up the great work!
202060 That seems to be a common theme here, but am I that predictable?
202600 If you wanna make a story out of this one, I'd suggest waiting a few chapters until more of the mysteries come to light, so that I don't accidentally trample all over your story. Regardless, I'm touched that you would wanna do that
205693 Sorry, but this story doesn't come equipped with tissues. However, it does come equipped with Pinkie Pie, so she's do her best
214577 I'm glad you like it, though I don't think Discord would use human skulls for his throne...
214670 I was going to say something witty in response, but I couldn't do so without spoiling something accidently, so here's a picture of Rarity
214732 ... u mad?
Also, this is more for me than anyone else, but a quick shout out to my older brother (my pre-reader), who is forced to read through these chapters half a dozen times each until I either get it just how we both like it, or until he hits me with a stick hard enough to make me realize its good
either the elements or something else from ponyville. anyways nice writing
I do not know why it bothers me but the cliff-hanger in this here chapter feels cruel, crueller than your previous cliff-hangers. Maybe it’s because I could guess at the events in the following chapter with ease but for the next chapter, all I can think of to be inside the box is either an element of Harmony (which would be rather predictable) or something that I cannot even phantom. As I was saying, ending the chapter like that feels very cruel.
As for the writing, this chapter does nothing that hasn't been accomplished in previous chapters which is why it impresses me. The quality of the writing remains consistent, and while an increase in quality is always welcomed I know it takes time and usually happens towards the end of one's story. The fact that your writing has remained so brilliant over all nine chapters (though I should probably not count the first one, being a prologue and as such too short to show off your skill) is feat onto itself. Vocabulary is as you put it, a bit mainstream, but it's far from bad and as per usual you have made your choice of words fitting for the characters in the narrative focus. The exploration of character was, in the case of Rainbow Dash, more predictable than the others, but none the less just as interesting and well presented. The FlutterDash is developing nice and slowly, the best way to develop romance, particularly if it's the evolution of a friendship to a romantic relationship, and of course loving the pairing so much the inclusion of it made me grin. Humour was brilliant, and while this chapter may have less mystery, tension, and atmosphere than those before it (prologue excluded) it more than makes up for it by being the funniest one so far.
Now, while well rounded stories are an absolute joy to read they are a right pain to review as it makes it difficult to criticise. Such stories are more or less free of mistakes and weaknesses, though usually sacrifice having any particular strength, a thing you have not done though. There was the odd occasion where a word was missing and a few of the sentences felt like they could have been phrased better but they are faults hardly worth raising, and are errors nearly all writers make from time to time in their writing (it is only after several proof reads that they are ironed out and in the end a few creases are likely to remain anyway). Really, the only weakness this chapter suffers from is that it feels weaker in many areas compared to your other chapters, a weakness that is no fault of yours. It is simply a matter of where we are at in the story, the tension nor atmosphere doesn't feel as strong because they are, for the most part, not in danger, and the more dramatic moments have already occurred. This chapter is unfortunately set in the peaceful moment of the story, the brief rest that the heroes deserve, the moment where one puts the serious stuff aside for a moment and focuses on character interaction and humour. That said there were something’s I was disappointed not to see in this chapter, such as the mane 6 actually debating over whether to help Sarlaka or not, and most of all exploring Twilight's state of mind (which in the previous chapter was definitely the most troubled).
As said earlier though the greater humour makes up for the lesser tension, and it’s only fair that the Mane 6 get a bit of reverie from everything that's occurred to them. This was another brilliant chapter, each character got a word in, were themselves in each part, and this story has to be the best portrayal of Applejack ever. Seriously, in this story she is probably my favourite character (for the actual show it's Twilight), helped by her badass moments in the earlier chapters and her glorious sense of humour in this latest one. Fantastic job, keep up the superb work!
215870 We can only wait and see, now can we?
216404 Your comments are always appreciated! First, I hear you in your criticisms about the plot points, but I won't say more on it. Second, I like to think your reasons for hating the cliffhanger is because you love my story so much! Right?... right...?
Awesome history.
Now, Will Discord have another badass minions?
totally called it.
FUCKING CALLED IT BITCHES.
FEAR MY AMAZING PSYCHIC POWERS.
Heheheh. Called it, but so did anyone with eyes.
Have to admit though, I thought it'd be 'revealed' (Like to keep an open mind, so won't be surprised if he's not) when they fight Discord, defending them from another spell.
"Blinding anyone who looked directly into it."
*puts on sunglasses*
YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Gotta love how Discord's first thought is about accordions
Spike, great...
Flashback time-
I think even Helen Keller saw that one coming.
That isn't to say that it's any less of an enjoyable plot point.
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRd5a1ySu3_dxS93X3ly9-1n1Wuc6qPDBwk0dGMObJEuPYiW9L5xmTmcAjG
Keep up the good work my good sir.
223443 223556 223749 223861
It was spike all the time!
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw2567_medium.jpg
224695
Indeed I did say.
If you like, I could use my psychic powers to tell you the color of the sky, grass, and what sarcasm sounds like.
224729
No need my good friend. For that I have my loyal tarot cards.
This message is brought to you by my work computer: Getting paid to read fanfictions... just don't tell my boss
223443 As did everyone else... unless Twilight is wrong
223556 ... GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!
223749 (This is assuming he IS Spike like she said) Reason why I "revealed" it here is that Twilight is a smart pony who has lived with Spike since he was born. I COULD'VE done one of those "they don't find out till the endgame", but would Twilight really not know until then? No, she'd figure it out
223850 According to my Pre-reader (and lawyers), I'm not allowed to say if this is what will happen
223861 That comment is horrible, politically incorrect, and would make many people/ponies cry... *hoofbump*
224695 Thank you!
And I do say!
224729>>224739 You two already had a reply from me, so go away
ha I knew it
Sarlaka slowly turned his head to face Twilight.
"Nope." He stated, setting down Spike's charred skull.
225323 Refer to what I responded to verifiaman with.
225497 Two things I have to say about your comment. 1) Funnier than anything I've written in this story so far. 2) HOW DID YOU KNOW!?!?
225529
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
At first, upon checking the comment section, I was annoyed to find that the very thing I wish to say had already been said. That thought soon disappeared and was replaced by both laughter and the knowledge that I probably couldn't have said it as well as Commander Ponysun, epic comment there. But yeah, I thought the same thing with the whole Spike thing as it does seem a bit too obvious and would be a brilliant red herring to Sarlaka's identity (if he is not Spike then my guess is that he is a relative of Spike, possibly a son, and his first test to prove his loyalty to Discord was to kill his father/relative). Enough of that though and onwards to the review.
This was an enjoyable chapter, and is accompanied by the second most enjoyable comments section I have read on this site. The chapter was well written, well paced, and with new mysteries to the story. What are the lords like, what are behind the doors and all those sort of questions, now replacing the questions of where are they and what is going on that existed before Sarlaka went ahead and explained them away. All the characters are themselves, their reactions both fitting and comical, and I've noticed Sarlaka becoming wittier as he warms up to the Mane 6. Comedy had me snickering throughout, and while it is a little less funny than the previous chapter, it is still strong in the department of funny.
There was the odd line that could have been worded better and I feel I must have been spoilt by your amazing introspections on Pinkie Pie and Rarity because Fluttershy's was not quite as impressive but this I can understand, lack of conflict or personal doubt at the moment, and a more interesting and involving introspection of Fluttershy will probably occur later in the search for the elements. My key point of criticism for today is the slight plot hole (or rather, plot problem) in how one of your explanations for why Fluttershy has to go to the Pegasus danger zone is because only the bearer of the respective element can obtain their element...so how the hay is Sarlaka going to retrieve the elements of Honesty and Loyalty?
I'm not a big fan of romances were the two characters begin to fall in love with one another around the same time, and not because of an effort on one of the characters parts to make the other fall in love with them however I will allow that to be excused due to it leading to the funniest part of the fanfic. I never knew Fluttershy had such dirty thoughts. Superb job, keep up the great work!
Oh, poor Spikey-wikey.
But now that all the introduction is out of the way, I'm looking forward to seeing the action.
Oh yeach, finally a fic about the Chaos actually winning. You can't stop chaos, it brings both destruction and creation. It's everything and nothing at the same time and Discord is an avatar of it. Also COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS! Sorry... got an interdemensional mindblow. Additionally here's an approval of someone truly awesome:
fc01.deviantart.com/fs10/f/2006/325/4/d/Pyramid_Head_Approves_by_Feitan.gif