Twilight's eye twitched.
Applejack looked around, and saw the rest of the girls looked to be in a very similar state of mind. To be fair, she was completely taken aback as well, to which the half eaten apple on the ground could attest to. While most likely each had a different mental image going through their heads, the one thing that they all had in common was that they didn't know what to say. Applejack's own thoughts were of her family. Big Macintosh. Granny Smith. Apple Bloom. Even Braeburn and the Oranges. Every single one of them was long gone. Dead for over a thousand years.
She didn't bother trying to hide the single tears that escaped her eyes.
“I don't believe you.”
Applejack looked at the lavender unicorn across from her. Twilight had a few hairs from her mane sticking out in random directions, a sign Applejack knew meant the unicorn was starting to lose it. Twilight was shaking her head in denial as she spoke those words, as if she was less trying to confirm it, and more trying to convince herself of the fact.
Sarlaka spoke in an uncharacteristically soft and gentle voice, “Why would I lie to you about something like this, Magic.”
“But... everypony...”
“Has been gone for countless years. Ponyville too is nothing but a field of dead grass. Conflound sits about ten miles from where it used to stand.” Sarlaka sighed, “For what its worth, I am sorry.”
Twilight once again shook her head, “I don't believe you. Time travel is impossible! It breaks so many rules in magic, I can't even begin to list them! Celestia herself told me she knew no way!”
“And yet here you stand in my presence, insisting that events that happened centuries ago happened yesterday. Tell me little ponies, what was the last thing you remember before coming here?”
“Lets see...” Twilight closed her eyes as she thought, tears running down her cheeks. Applejack couldn't tell if it was more out of fear, rage, sorrow, or just being overwhelmed with the realization. In any case, it broke her heart to see her best friend, or any of her friends, this distraught, “The last thing I remember is we were just about to use the Elements of Harmony on Discord. It was working all perfectly and... oh Celestia! I think he shot something at us!”
“I see. So what I am told is true then... mostly.”
Applejack cocked her head a little to the left, “Wha' ya were told?”
Sarlaka ignored the question, “What I have theorized in the millennium that I have had to think about the tale is that when you were hit by the spell Discord threw at you, which was supposed to turn the six of you to stone, the artifacts themselves saw the danger, and attempted to save you. The Elements of Harmony maybe tried to teleport you away from Discord, but instead of traveling through space, you instead traveled through time.”
“But that's impossible! Celestia told me-”
“Magic. I shouldn't have to tell you that the Elements of Harmony, when used by their true owners, are many magnitudes more powerful than even the former Princess Celestia could hope to summon herself. Imagine mixing that with a powerful spell from Discord.” Sarlaka shook his head, “At that point, basic laws of nature mean nothing.”
Twilight blinked in response, slowly lowering her head until her eyes met her plate.
“Which is why I need you to help me activate the Elements again.”
“Woah there partner,” Applejack looked up, shaking her forelegs in front of her, “Even if we all trust ya', an' we all did do all this here time travelin', why ya be needin' our help?”
“Because you are the Elements of Harmony?” Sarlaka spoke with a confused tone. “I don't understand your question.”
“No, Dear Applejack has a point,” Rarity lifted her head, looking at the dragon, “I don't know as much as Twilight about the Elements, but I have been told if and when the former bearers are... well... dead,” She said with a slight forced smile, “they find a new host in another pony.”
“True, but you never died.”
“I'm sorry?”
Sarlaka looked past the ponies, staring off into the far wall, “You are correct, Generosity, but not entirely. Indeed, when the former bearers die, the elements do seek out new host just like you said. However, you six did not die. Instead, you were moved from one time to another, completely alive and healthy. Therefore...”
“For fifteen hundred years, the world was without the Elements of Harmony...” Rarity finished.
The dragon slowly nodded, “Precisely.”
“Wait a minute!” Rainbow Dash spoke up, “Discord was turned to stone once before with the Elements by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna! Why didn't they use them?”
“Because Loyalty,” the dragon turned to looked right into Twilight's eyes as he spoke his next line, “He struck first.”
The ponies just looked at him. He looked the six pairs of eyes, “When Discord saw you were gone, he knew the only ones left that could destroy him were the Alicorn Sisters, so he fought them before they could obtain the Elements. I don't know much about the battle between the three, but from what I was told, all of Canterlot was destroyed in the battle. The conflict allegedly lasted several days, with some of the most powerful arcane spells every imagined, and some not even thought of before, being brought to bear. For all its destruction, it must have been a truly magnificent sight!” Sarlaka went silent, and looked down.
There was a pause. “And?” Twilight asked.
Sarlaka sighed again, “Celestia blinked.”
There was silence from Applejack and her friends. “You mean...” Twilight again spoke, fresh tears beginning to flow down her eyes.
“She was hit with the same spell that she used on Discord so many years ago, and was turned to stone.”
“Umm... and Luna?” Fluttershy squeaked.
Sarlaka looked up, and even with his dragon face, a sad smile shown on it, “Her fate is fittingly tragic, but yet so very heroic. With her sister gone, she knew she was outmatched, but was able to escape. She knew she couldn't fight Discord in a head on battle alone, so she spent the next five years looking for you six specifically, to no avail. For the next century, she searched for the next bearers of the Elements, and she also failed here. All the while, she was somehow able to put together a massive resistance army against Discord. And through all of this, that draconequus hunted for her, never resting. I have to admit, I am awed at her skill. Celestia may have had her beat in raw power, but when it comes to subterfuge and planning, she couldn't hold a candle to her younger sister.”
The six ponies looked at the dragon as he grew more lively as the tale came out of his mouth. “Eventually, she finally gave up on the Elements of Harmony, and enacted a plan that took another hundred years to finally put into motion. Using a massive army of unicorns and pegasi, she attacked Discord head on. Ha! Oh how I would give anything to have seen his face at her use of a frontal attack after two centuries of running. The pegasi were used as a distraction and cannon fodder, unicorns supplementing Luna's magic, while the goddess of the night fought Discord.
“It wasn't enough though. Discord wasn't doing well in the beginning, but the surprise wore off quickly, and Luna started taking hits... Sarlaka sighed, the joy in his voice disappearing, “...too many hits. Knowing she couldn't win, she decided to make sure Discord couldn't completely destroy all of her ponies, and sacrificed herself in a spell that locked most of his powers away, making them completely inaccessible to the God of Chaos in the hope that the Elements of Harmony would return.”
There was another long pause, but it was eventually broken with Fluttershy's timid voice, “So... Luna's dead too?”
The dragon looked down, “No, my precious Kindness. Oh how I wish you were right. For you see, when I say she sacrificed herself for that spell, I mean everything: Mind... body...” He looked towards the six, “soul...”
Pinkie gulped, and whispered in a voice none of the other five have ever heard her talk in, “You mean...”
Sarlaka nodded his head, “She will never find that eternal happiness that every other creature finds in the afterlife.”
There was a long silence after this statement as the six ponies absorbed the information that was just slapped into their faces. Applejack eventually broke the silence that permeated the chamber, “How'd ya know all of this? Don' seem like all of this be common knowledge.”
Sarlaka sighed, “By serving as Discord's most powerful and loyal ally for the past eleven hundred years.”
“WHAT!?”
All eyes turned to Rainbow, who, with fury in her eyes, picked herself up from her chair once more, but instead, decided to just stand on the table, “You are telling me, that we have been sitting here with this... this... monster for the past few hours hearing his stories and fairy tales, and now we hear he's with... HIM!” Anger and scorn dripped off of Rainbow's words as she stared into the eyes of the scarred dragon, “You expect me to believe you now!?”
Sarlaka just stared back, “Just because I am his ally officially does not mean that I wish him good health. It was the only way to bide my time long enough to find you six. There was no other way.”
“There were so many other ways! You could've hid! You could've fought against him! Something!”
“Loyalty, you have much to learn about how this world works. I did what I had to do to fulfill my mission.”
“Rainbow,” Fluttershy softly whispered. Rainbow Dash looked into the eyes of the mare, pleading for the cyan pegasus to settle down.
Rainbow sighed, “Right,” she said as she walked back to her seat, and sat back down. “Just so you know, if you weren't a several hundred ton dragon, I'd kick your flank.”
Sarlaka smirked, “And if you weren't the Element of Loyalty, I would make you my after dinner snack. But its best that you trust me. You're lucky you know: as far as I'm aware, I'm the only being left on this planet that would dare call himself your friend.”
“Wait!” Twilight looked up, “Not all of our friends could be dead!”
“Uhh... Sugarcube? Last time Ah looked, Ponies don' live THA' long.”
“Not a pony! Spike! He's a dragon too! He might still be around if we are lucky!” Twilight looked at Sarlaka hopefully, “Right?”
Sarlaka turned away from Twilight.
“...right?”
Sarlaka looked back at Twilight, but didn't meet her gaze, “Magic... I am truly, completely sorry...”
Twilight's eyes quivered, “... but...”
Sarlaka looked at the wall, gesturing with his claw, “You see those lines, young one? The ones on the walls? Every single one of those lines is a life I ended. Every single one of those thousands is my own personal memorial to the ones that had to suffer because of my task grave task.” The dragon paused for a moment, “The one you call Spike is that first one...”
“You killed Spike!?” Rarity had tears in her eyes as she screamed, causing the dragon to flinch, and turn towards the white unicorn, “How could you!? He was the most gentle, generous, and sweetest dragon ever... what reason would you have to kill him!?”
“It... was required for my mission...”
“Save it Scaley! Its one thing to act like you are helping Discord to help other ponies, but killing ponies for your mission!?” Rainbow yelled, her fury brimming over again, “Of all the things I have ever seen, you are by far the most pitiful excuse of a creature I have seen! You make... make... Diamond Dogs look good!”
“Loyalty, you know nothing about-”
“No Sarlaka.” Applejack finally spoke, “YOU don' know nutin' abou' tha world. Look at wha' ya done, and Ah dare ya to tell yaself tha' you're a good pony... err... dragon... whateva! Yall say tha' ya doin' this for the world, yet Ah see thousands of lines on tha' wall. You don' know nutin' but death and killin'. Ah reckon yall know nutin' about how it felt to all tha families tha' lost ones to your killin'.”
Sarlaka stood up on all fours, and roared with a fury that was unmatched by Applejack or Rainbow Dash. As he roared, a small amount of green flame burst from his maw passing over the dining table, between the ponies. The sound of the blasting roar echoed within the chamber, nearly deafening the ponies, who now had their hooves over their ears in pain.
He looked at Applejack, eyes still filled with rage, and spoke in a voice of matching his stare, “Do NOT tell me I do not know pain, you insignificant whelp! My mother was utterly destroyed in front of my eyes by Discord, while I cowered in terror. My mate was stolen from me by Discord, while I watched in the distance. My three beloved sisters died by Discord's agents in front of my eyes, protecting me, as I hid in fear. I watched the Unicorns and Pegasi of this world go nearly extinct by Discord's rule, and I did nothing because I didn't have the bravery to stand up to the God myself when I should have.”
Sarlaka's tone softened into one of mourning, “I am aware that when I die, I have a very cold corner of eternity awaiting me. Trust me ponies, I deserve all the suffering hell would bring, and more. However, until that day comes, I will fight in the only way I know how, and that is to bide my time, and hope I was not mistaken in forcing so many others to sacrifice their lives and the lives of their loved ones for you. Call my plan stupid and short-sighted, call me a fool and a coward, but do not tell me that I do not know pain.”
He finished as he let out a deep breath, little bit of smoke escaping from his nostrils as he did so. “Like I said before, I... the world needs you six to activate the Elements against that monster. Too much of a price has already been paid for your tardiness.”
“An' if we say no?” Applejack responded.
Sarlaka pointed towards the door towards the main hall, “Then you may walk out that door, out of my life, and never speak to me again. If you truly would say no, after everything that has happened over the years, then you are not worth my time.
“However, considering the massive snowstorm outside, I would suggest that you at least wait until sunrise to leave. Think it over for the night at least. There are a suitable amount of pony sized beds just across the main hall. Come.” He beckoned the ponies forward, and he walked back into the main hall.
Applejack looked at the other ponies, shrugged, and, after grabbing another honeycrisp apple, got up and slowly made her way after the dragon. She glanced behind her, and noticed that the rest of the ponies had followed suit. Twilight was not looking completely glum like Applejack had suspected, but seemed to be lost in thought. Rarity obviously didn't notice Twilight shutting out the world around her, for she was whispering something to the fellow unicorn. Pinkie was stumbling along, her mane still with bits of frosting in it, though Applejack noticed that she was much quieter than normal. Fluttershy was walking next to Rainbow, neither really talking, but Applejack saw that even after the boastful displays by the speedy pegasus, Rainbow still leaned slightly on the yellow mare as she walked.
The ponies crossed into the main hall once more, and indeed followed the dragon into the doorway opposite of the dining room. Passing into the massive doorway, Applejack saw the short tunnel led to a normal sized door, which Sarlaka stopped himself at.
“I will leave you here. I don't honestly know the state of the room. Small door and all, but I assume it is at least in acceptable living conditions.” Sarlaka turned walked back past the ponies. Abruptly, he turned again towards the ponies again, “Generosity.”
Rarity took a second to realize that the dragon meant to speak with her. She turned towards him, and spoke with apparent emotion in her voice, “Yes?”
Sarlaka looked on her for a moment, then shook his head, “Never mind. Try to get some rest. All of you.”
The ponies turned away from their host as they looked towards the door. Applejack pushed her hoof down on the latch, opening it, and once again had an awed face as she stared into the room. If possible, it was more extravagant than the Princess's private bedrooms back in Canterlot. Three massive four-poster beds lined one side of the room, with massive drapes cascading down from higher up, giving a sense of privacy. Each was a light crème color, with elaborate designs of gold plates on the headboard. The posts had carvings inlaid into them of the three pony races, with the horns, wings, and hoofs of the unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies respectively plated with even more gold.
Across the room, there was a large sitting area, which had four sitting chairs and a larger couch, all of which matched the color scheme of the beds . Each was just as elaborately designed as the beds, and were seated next to what appeared to be a fireplace. Applejack doubted that the fireplace was real, but the elegant design of the mantel was something that would make Rarity think was over the top. The mantel followed the design of the rest of the room, but only a single figure of each race was carved into the piece. The walls of the room were surprisingly plain when compared to the rest of the room, only having the same crème and gold coloration, with various paintings of landscapes and buildings. The only piece of note was that of the Equestrian Flag, displaying a sun within a night sky in one corner, and a moon in the day sky, with a diagonal cutting the flag into two triangular halves. A single door on the opposite side of the room likely leading to the bathroom.
Rainbow immediately trotted over to the closest bed. “I never knew napping and eating could be so tiring,” she spoke as she jumped onto the bed, curling up in a small ball, resting her head on her forelegs.
“Ya know RD, fer one tha' jus' threatened a dragon twice, ya be lookin' quite relaxed,” Applejack smirked, walking over to another bed, climbing up on it.
“Oh please. That guy is a wimp. I saw it in his eyes. He wouldn't hurt us,” she said as she waved a hoof in the air in a dismissive way. “As long as we are the Elements of Harmony, he thinks we're goddesses or something.”
“Well I for one do not intend on giving that brute any satisfaction of showing him our cooperation,” Rarity said as she flipped her mane over to the other side of her head. “While if we are needed to stop Discord, I will oblige, I say that we should turn those artifacts on that... that... monster immediately after. Right, Twilight?” Twilight didn't answer, causing the white unicorn to look towards her, “Twilight, darling, are you alright?”
Twilight was lost in a gaze past the ponies. Looking with Twilight, the other five looked to see that Twilight was looking at the painting of the Equestrian flag above the mantel. Instead of the crying that she had been doing throughout the dinner, she just looked with a face of emptiness.
“She was a mother to me...”
Rarity walked up, nuzzling Twilight's neck with her cheek. “Twilight darling, its ok. We'll make Discord pay for everything. Ok dear?” Twilight slowly nodded. Rarity sat down on her haunches as she gave the grieving pony a tight hug. It was only then that Twilight buried her face into Rarity's mane, and wept. “Its ok Twilight. Shhh...”
Applejack and the other three pony could only look on as a young filly cried her heart out over the loss of her surrogate mother; never having the chance to say goodbye. The sounds of the sobs filled the chamber, and all other thoughts in the room were silenced.
Spike is Sarlaka, calling it.
With the death of Spike being Vader/Anakin-style.
200251
Vader/Anakin-style?
200583
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6RZ1CV-44s
Not saying it was the same, but along a similar style.
200805
If my work computer could run youtube, I'd watch it
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That is all, keep up the good work my good sir.
it'd be cool if spike was sarlanka
man. I wish my story could fit into this........
But it's still WIP
But it would have been great
Nice story by the way
It has only just occurred to me, that while this fanfic is in my favourite list, it was not being tracked. I have now just fixed the grievous error and considering my enjoyment of this fanfic so far will carry on to review this fanfic. Admittedly I doubt that this will be as good as my reviews of norm, in part due to my currently dull mind (my brain has apparently decided to have a daylong nap) and also a result of this review being only a brief analysis on all the chapters so far. Do not fret though, future reviews will be analysing one chapter and one chapter alone will enable to be more precise and detailed. This appears to be enough chit chat from me and I really should get onto the part you want to read; the review itself.
Every time I have tried to start off with praise for this fanfic I end up rambling on about my favourite parts so far, so I will change my reviewing style a slight bit today and start off with my criticism first. Minor errors in the form of missing words, a misplaced word, or the improper use of a word (such as using the wrong tense for the word) can be found in every chapter so far. At most there tends to only be a couple of such errors in the chapters, and as minor as they are the readers are more than likely to automatically correct them while they read, but it is something worth pointing out. Your heavy amounts of description reveal your vocabulary to be rather average, and while I found myself satisfied, I still feel it's an area worth improving on in future chapters when you can and when you have the time. The story is very slow and some of the description feels unnecessary however I can withstand a slow paced story better than a rushed one and I personally enjoy description even when it is not exactly needed.
Now onto what I like about this fanfic. First, it's really solid and well rounded, everything about it feels good and nothing about it feels bad, there are simply areas not quite as impressive as other areas. The story is fitting with the feel of the show, it's dark but not enough to warrant a dark category, the action is fast paced and violent but imaginable in the actual cartoon, and the majority of the humour feels like it could be a part of an episode. The description-Holy heck the description, you actually described the scenery. I mean sure, fanfic writers are more willing to describe scenery when they take their story to new locations but still, you made me read gigantic chunks of description concerning how everything looked, and I loved it. Not only are you willing to take the time to describe the setting but you describe it well, and I could picture everything you described about the locations. Writing style is rather plain but it works and offers a lot of freedom, particularly when you have the focus on the different characters. The characters are presented accurately, with noted regards to their speech and thoughts, and the whole thing has been enjoyable to read.
There are many parts of this story that I have come to love, the depiction of Clyde and Martha being one of them. Though they told on the mane 6 as it were, you manage to present them as being good people even after this act, and it’s something I appreciated seeing. The character of Sarlaka is another, as while I do not like him I do find him a deep and well explored character with plenty of twists and turns to his story. I thought he was going to turn out to be Spike and while this appears to have been refuted by the story itself a part of me believes it still to be true (their appears to be hints of him being Spike or at least being connected to Spike in some way, I guess I'll have to read on to know the full story behind this character). My favourite two parts of this story so far come from chapters 5 and 6, the depiction of Pinkie Pie and the light FlutterDash comedy (not sure if that's what you were going with but it played out like it). Pinkie Pie's presentation in chapter 5 is deserving of a round of applause, it was not only accurate but well reasoned, and provided a simple and easy to understand explanation for a lot of Pinkie Pie's character. As for the light FlutterDash comedy moment (again, not sure if that was what you were intending but this story does have the romance category so I can hope), not only is FlutterDash my Friendship is Magic OTP but it was also a well pulled off scene. I went from smiling at Rainbow Dash waking up, giggling at her rush of thoughts (I swear, if you had written down one of her thoughts as 'was I any good' I would have burst out in hysterics), and grinning at Sarlaka's comments.
Well now, looking back on it this review came out a lot better than I had anticipated. I wish I had some better criticism for you to help improve your story but with my mind as lazy as it is at the moment this was about all I could unearth (quite possible fo it to be all there was to unearth). As you can probably tell I have enjoyed reading your story, its a magnificent one and well told, and I will of course be sticking around to read and review when it next updates. Astonishing job, keep up the fantastic work!
202797
By length alone, I feel like I should reply in some way to this
First off, damn. Not going to lie, that comment is almost as long as the story itself! Before I go any further, I'd like to thank you for taking the time and putting such an in depth analysis into my story. I'm glad everything you said doesn't just boil down to, "durr, ur grammar sux" or something like that. For that, I thank you again.
For the positive praise, I'm glad my descriptions aren't turning into giant walls of text like I was afraid they would. I honestly see so many stories that glance over the scenery, or say, "yeah, its green here... yup," and while yes, my the vocabulary I use is MAINSTREAM (the best synonym for average I could think of ), I'm glad its enough!
As for the fights scenes, I'm glad it worked out; it was another part of my story that I was worried about, and you saying I did well in it relieves me.
Yeah, I know that the pacing is a little slow, but I feel that unless I take it slow, its hard for me to dig into each character the way I want. Not only do I have to do the mane six, but then there's Sarlaka, Clyde, Martha, and the other (if few so far) side characters I'm trying to make more than a name on the page. Yes, I was afraid it was too slow (a question I've asked my pre-reader enough about to have him hit me with a stick), but I'm glad its not TOO slow.
And come on! You don't like Sarlaka?? He's only an ancient dragon who has killed thousands
As for everything else you said, I'm not going to comment for various reasons, most dealing with not wanting to accidentally spoil something.
I literally cried to this.
Actual tears, and that has never happened to me because of any story I have ever read, not just MLP.
I might say "I cried manly tears" etc to express that it was sad, but these are the first tears I've shed for a story.
I've nought else to say but the above, and that it is an amazingly well-written story and I enjoyed reading most of it, and cried for the rest of it.
I would ask for more, but my heart just might shatter.
Didn't notice the scale colour 'till just now, but I'm agreeing with everyone who's saying "the dragon's Spike."
He was talking to Applejack so he'd probably leave her out but;
Hus mum=Twilight
His mate=Rarity
His sisters=Pinkie, Fluttershy and Dashie.
... But if that's the case I have to wonder why he excluded her when mentioning it...
It's about time someone got it! i just posted up a comment on the previous chapter about it, but yes, I think Sarlaka is Spike too. Sarlaka killing Spike is sort of like killing the personality of Spike to maybe disguise himself. That is what I think though.
1526671
I never usually comment on previous chapters, but I'm making an exception to you. I seriously am stunned that you are able to read through a lot of the terrible writing in these early chapters!
why must every alternate universe/adventure fic I read have Luna killed? WHY? Luna Is my favorite!!!!
wow.....we are in deep here
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I am 99% that Sarlaka is speaking of a metaphorical death when referring to Spike. He didn't actually physically kill Spike. Rather, in working with Discord, he killed everything he had stood for and became an entirely different pers- er, dragon.
That said, Luna's sacrifice was... Wow... Feels. I have them.
1979117 So basically true... ♪From a certain point of viewwwwwwww...♪
Yeah, I'm also calling Sarlaka is Spike. Still, the character's are acting like they should, and its all extremely emotional. I do wonder how everything will go.
Wow... that was... heavy. Tears were shed
Sarlaka Is definitely Spike, with his "rebirth", Twi being his mother, Rarity his mate, and the CMC... his sisters... you really have no mercy, do you?
Why does the cover art show Celestia AND Luna in stone?
4146231 WARNING! LEGITAMANTLY VALID POINT AHEAD!
~Wywint
4146231
Probably, though the other Mane 6 could be his sisters...
Twilight is an idiot. Even with magic nothing should stop time travel into the future, the past maybe but not the future. Also I am still confused how this is the future, unless the 1499 (I think that was the date) date is like AD is for us, and the other year was likr BC?
AJ you a**hole.
anyone else think sarlaka is spike
Twi doesn't even mention spike who she lived with for her whole life and just found out was murdered