Horsebians!
Snowdrop and Nyx Get Drunk and Make Out
by Present Perfect
"Boo hoo hoo," cried Nyx, who was an adult filly and therefore could suffer existential woe, "I'm ugly and also Nightmare Moon and nopony loves me! Boo hoo!" And it was true, because nopony loved her except her mother and the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Celestia and Luna and probably Twist. Definitely Twist.
"Doubleyou tee eff, Nyx," asked Twilight, who was like, right there the whole time, and also not a princess because this was an alternate timeline or maybe she was a triple changing Transformer. "You know I'm standing behind you, right? Are you deaf as well as a terrible character?" She had no idea how much foreshadowing she'd just done.
"Mommy," Nyx said, because Twilight Sparkle was her mother and she'd never really grown out of calling her "Mommy" because she's a huge goddamn crybaby with issues, "why won't anypony love me? I never did anything to them if you ignore when I tried to enslave them and make night last forever. I hate myself!"
Twilight nodded sagely. "You're just in that period of your life right now. I understand. When I was a teenager getting picked on constantly for being an egghead and Princess Celestia's personal student and a purple unicorn, I would always dream about going to the Star Swirl the Bearded Wing of the Canterlot Royal Archives and learning time-travel spells so I could go back to a time when nopony knew who I was and continue my studies without having to deal with their bullshit."
She laughed. "But I don't have to do that anymore because I have five friends and an adoptive daughter who love me unconditionally and are really stupidly powerful and can beat up anypony who makes fun of me if I want them to." She laughed some more and trotted into the kitchen.
Nyx blinked. "Oh."
One Trip to the Star Swirl the Bearded Wing of the Canterlot Royal Archives Later...
Nyx cast the spell with her horn.
One Casting of Hoof-Tapper the Mighty's Time Tunnel Travels Later...
"Wow," said Nyx, her mouth making an O, "I'm really in the past!"
It kind of looked exactly the same as the future, except she was also in Cloudsdale somehow.
"Princess Luna!" somepony shouted next to her. She turned and saw a pegasus noble bowing to her.
"Ha ha," she laughed nervously, "I'm not Princess Luna. My name is Nyx."
"But," the noble butted, "you've got wings and a horn, and your coat is so dark!"
Nyx rolled her eyes, because that was kind of a racist thing to say. "No, Princess Luna is like, my mother or my sister or something. I dunno, I wasn't paying much attention."
"Well, let me just be the first to say, thank you for visiting our fair city, Your Highness. I hope your stay is pleasant. If you'll excuse me." She bowed once more and flew off to go cheat on her husband, because that's what noble pegasi did back then.
"Uh, I'm really not a Princess either!" Nyx called after her, but it was too late. Living in the past was going to be weird, she thought, but at least that pony hadn't screamed and run away from her, so it was an improvement over the future. She clapped her hooves together. There was so much to look forward to! It was going to be weird butt fun!
Then somepony weirdly bumped into her ass.
"Oh," said a soft voice. "Excuse me."
For reasons related entirely to plot convenience, Nyx lost her temper and used her Nightmare Moon voice.
"YOU CLUMSY OAF!" she shouted in bold, italics and underline, "HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY PLOT WITH YOUR FACE!"
"I'm sorry for bumping into you," the voice said. It was attached to a pony who was the color of clouds and had milky white eyes and a snowflake cutie mark and curly white mane. "I define myself by my disability."
"You what?" Nyx was so flabbergasted that she got back in character.
"Yes, you see... I can't."
"Can't what?"
"See."
Nyx shook her head. "I don't."
"You don't what?"
"Even." Nyx sighed. "Um, maybe we got off on the wrong hoof. My name's Nyx, what's yours?"
"Snowdrop."
"That's a very nice name."
"Thank you! I think yours is nice too! It's very unusual."
Nyx blushed like maybe she was about to be shipped with a pony. "Um, well, I came here looking for friends, so how about we be friends, Snowdrop? If you don't think I'm scary, that is."
"Why would I think you're scary?" Snowdrop said with a giggle.
"Most ponies do. And well, I did kind of shout at you. I'm really sorry about that, by the way, you didn't deserve it."
"Oh, that's okay. I mean, your typeface is impressive, but I've learned that you should never let haters get you down."
Nyx's eyes widened. "That sounds like something I've been waiting my whole life to hear." She grabbed Snowdrop's hooves. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I think we were fated by destiny to meet."
"You do?"
"Yes! I came here by magic and it sent me right to you almost. Well, I met a noblepony first, but then I met you! And now we're friends! Do you know what this calls for?"
Snowdrop shook her head. "Um, a party?"
"No." Nyx got a manic look on her face. She gazed deeply into Snowdrop's white, sightless eyes that were currently staring at a cloud in the background.
"Let's celebrate our friendship by getting hammered."
One Several Rounds of Drinks at a Bar Later...
"...An' tha's how I became Queen of Equestria."
Nyx, a consummate lush, was sprawled out on the bar of Cloudsdale's premiere watering hole, waving her hooves at the array of shot glasses surrounding her.
"Good one!" Snowdrop said, hiccupping. "Yannow, Nysh, I wasn't too sure 'bout you at first, but I c'n see now that yer a good... good... poooonyyyyyy..."
Nyx snorted and belched loudly. "H-how c'n you see dat?"
Snowdrop responded by placing a hoof squarely in Nyx's ear. Then she began feeling down her cheek, tapping over her shoulder to her chest and turning Nyx on something fierce. Snowdrop was sitting on Nyx's right, but figured she was close enough to Nyx's heart to count. She poked Nyx in the chest twice and said, in a low whisper filled with gravity,
"I c'n see inta heeeeeere."
"Ohhh." Nyx's eyes got wide. "Wow." She sniffed, smiling at the other mare. "That... that is real special. You're somethin' special, Snowdy."
"Bein' special is my special talent," Snowdrop said. "But you're speshul too, Nyxy." Snowdrop hiccupped again.
Nyx snickered. "You drank yerself crosseyed!"
"I did?" Snowdrop's voice was full of wonder. "How c'n you tell?"
They both started cracking up, leaning against one another for support. The bartender gave them a wary look.
"No, but srsly," Nyx said, wiping at her face, "wossit like? Not seein', I mean."
Snowdrop waved her hoof at where she thought Nyx's nose was, but contacted only air. "S'okay. I been like this since I was borned. I hear real, real, real good."
"Do you really?" Nyx stage whispered.
"I heard that!" Snowdrop shouted, and they both started laughing again, pounding each other on the back.
When they settled down, Snowdrop got very quiet and said, "Iss not so great, bein' special."
"I know," Nyx said, nodding a little too enthusiastically.
"Ponies think you're weird 'cause of how you look."
"I know!"
Snowdrop looked away from Nyx, regarding the door with consternation. "Do you? D'you really?"
Nyx reached out and grabbed Snowdrop's head, turning it back toward her. "Hey, you're talkin' to th' pony who tried to conquer Equestria. They ain't forgetted that too easy. Errypony runs when they see me."
Snowdrop gave her a half-smile, because she was gassy. "Well I think you're juuuuuus' fine."
Nyx blushed, but she was too dark-furred for it to be obvious (wait, is that racist?), and also the other pony in her company couldn't see. Her gaze dropped to the floor and then Nyx looked at Snowdrop's butt and noticed it was a very nice butt. "You has a great cutie mark," she commented.
"Ponies tell me issa snowflake." Snowdrop sniffed. "I invenned 'em, y'know."
"What, you did? Noway!"
"Uh-huh. An', an' after that, I, uh, I started inventin' lotsa things." She leaned on to the bar, spreading her hooves wide. "I inventerated the internet!"
"The wha?"
Snowdrop got a very serious expression on her face, the kind drunk ponies get when studying whatever is in front of them, which she was pretty much doing but without the being able to see part.
"I neededed a way to spread th' message... Of lovin' an' toleratin' th' other ponies what's kinna different. So I made the internet so's I could post social justice blogs on Tumblr."
Nyx laid her head on the bar, smiling. "Tha' sounds wunnerful." Then she blinked. "Hey wait, they don't have no 'innernet' where I'm from."
"Huh?" Snowdrop blinked. "Wherezat?"
"The future."
"Oh." Snowdrop frowned. "I guess it never catches on, then."
"B-but, you tol' lotsa ponies that bein' blind's... s'okay. Right? Because I think you're good. A good pony who's blind."
It was Snowdrop's turn to blush. Nyx was afraid she had caught fire somehow, that's how much blushing was going on right then.
"Uh, well, actually, I mossly just post about, uh..." Her voice dropped to a squeak. "Filly-fooling."
Nyx got confused. "Why?"
Snowdrop bit her lip. "Because it's illge... billy... taboo. But ponies shouldn't... shouldn't be hated for who they love, right?"
Nyx's wings stood up. "Inna future," she whispered, putting her hoof on Snowdrop's, "everypony is accepted and respected for who they are."
Snowdrop smiled at the wall. "That sounds wonfle... funder... great."
They leaned in close to each other but then somepony cleared his throat and they separated real quick-like.
"I'm gonna have to ask you ladies to pay up and leave," the bartender said politely.
"FUCK YOU, CISHET SCUM!" Snowdrop said, so politely that Nyx had to use her magic to hold her back from crashing into the mirror on the far wall because she had jumped off her bar stool the wrong way. "FUCK YOUR SEXUAL NORMATIVE BULLSHIT AND YOUR GENDER BINARY!"
They paid (Nyx had loads of future money and it was worth like, twenty each in past money because that's how economics works) and left, which involved both of them stumbling over each other and colliding with the wall of the bar around the corner, and then laughing whole bunches.
Nyx noticed how warm Snowdrop was up close. She was in fact nothing like her name or her coloration or her snowflake cutie mark, and in fact just a normal pony, which shouldn't have been surprising, but she was drunk. Nyx put a foreleg around her and pulled her in close. Snowdrop gazed up at her left ear, trembling slightly.
"Snowdrop," Nyx said, totally serious, "I think I like you a lot."
"You do?"
"Yeah. Like, like-like. In the future, it's okay for two fillies to kiss each other, so I think we should do that now."
"O-okay," Snowdrop said, and her cheeks were red.
Their muzzles met and a chorus of angels sang the praises of Celestia as they kissed with a fiery passion and intense love because they were truly destined to be lovers. Their horse nostrils flared and their tongues danced a tango and it was really hot. They wrapped their hooves around each other and caressed their manes and wings and stuff. There were gasps of shock from passersby who were really old-fashioned because they lived in the past and didn't approve of filly-fooling, and Snowdrop tried to flip them the bird but couldn't because she only has one finger. They kissed like two fillies had never kissed before. It was awesome.
And then they parted the kiss and there were like, fifty strands of saliva, and that's just really gross, I mean clean up your fucking drool you goddamn horsebians, Jesus.
With all the destiny that was happening, it should be no surprise that there was a crack of thunder and a flash of light before they disappeared, because Nyx had cast the wrong fucking spell and got sucked back into the future, the stupid bitch.
One Reversed Time Spell Later... Which Is Pretty Much Just "And Then"...
"Nyx, what the fuck?" Twilight asked, because she and Snowdrop appeared right out of fucking nowhere and I'm getting really tired so don't bother wondering where they were okay? "I was just about to beat Spike's adorable scaly ass because he wouldn't tell me where you went!"
"I said I didn't know!" Spike whined, and everypony ignored him.
"Mom," Nyx said, suddenly growing a pair of whatever it is girls grow, "I have something important to tell you. This is Snowdrop. We're in love and we're gonna run away and get gay married!"
"We are?" Snowdrop said.
"That's nice, sweetie," Twilight said. "Just don't go to Foalabama, they're the last holdouts of anti-filly-fooling since the Early Equestrian Period."
"So you've got two moms?" Snowdrop asked. "That's very progressive of you."
"Kinda yeah no," Nyx said.
"Well, hello," Snowdrop said to the door. "My name is Snowdrop and it's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Nyx's Mom."
"That's weird," Twilight said, ignoring Snowdrop's inability due to her own. "I thought Snowdrop was the name of an important pony from the Early Equestrian Period who vanished under mysterious circumstances. Where did you disappear off to again, Nyx?"
"Uh, the Star Swirl the Bearded Wing?"
"Oh." Twilight facehoofed. "You went back in time and destroyed the internet again, didn't you?"
"Uh-huh!" Nyx shouted. Then her and Snowdrop's tongues twirled around each other and they were in absolute lesbians.
And that's how the greatest monster Equestria ever knew was born. The end.
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This should be interesting. I'll read it later.
....
....
wat?
what about twilight and her friends?
3735850
Read and find out!
3735857
ah.... so this is like a troll fic or a those fics that might be unbanned than?
i just read the first few paragraphs...
You mean Fillyfoolers instead of Horsebians
...
...
...
...
RIGHT!!??
THANK YOU MY FRIEND FOR CONTRIBUTING THE 2ND STORY TO THE NYXDROP EMPIRE!
3735867
Tomayto, tomahto.
3735869
SECOND? D:D:D:
GOD DAMMIT AAAAAA
Goddammit, Present.
God... DAMMIT PRESENT.
3735875 YES MY FRIEND FOR I HAVE ALREADY SECURED THE 1ST POSITION
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/151352/the-story-of-nyx-love-of-snowdrop#comment/3735313
ENJOY!
That was so terrible and I can't stop laughing.
Well done.
This was beautiful. I'm sure that Pen Stroke is okay with this, if not, then who cares because it's hilarious.
Also,
I died
No.
AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA! You're gonna kill me with laughter! xD I can't do it, I can't read more, I have to stop here. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.
This is in my top ten stories I have ever read any where. Good job.
Still as glorious as the first day I read it... that being yesterday. My, my, time sure does fly.
Oh my god, that cover art, did you go with my idea of having Snowdrop look in the completely wrong direction?
I'm dying here!
I have no words.
...
None at all...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Ok, I have one.
You forgot "caps lock" in that sentence.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I thought you were joking when you mentioned this. Guess not!
What are we gonna do with you, PP?
I... I...
Eh... I guess I can give it an upvote. It's no worse than about half the peachmeme stories were.
3735875 Holy Fuck Best Troll Fic Ever! Now I have found my fave Ship. I like how you had Nyx go in to the past to only find a Nobelpony than Snowdrop. If this was not for 'shit's and giggles' I can see it going to maybe thirteen chapters at lest. Since this is a troll fic I half to rate it differently than others. #1: Funny as fuck. #2: It has 3 out of ???? of my fave pony's in it. #3: Now this one I have a problem with. You made Twilight act like she didn't give a fuck.
3 Out Of 5 Happy Pinkies)
I say it needs: (
And no I am not hatting on your story in fact Its going in my faves.
Shined,
Slowbro95
This story is literally my fetish.
Well that was weird. Usually when I say that it means the story gets a rating, but this is just that kind of weird where I think reading the drunk talk made me high as balls. So yeah, not sure which thumb to click, so I'll keep poking the cursor until I stop being hungry.
In other news, I'd bet money that MarineMarksman would hate this on sheer principle. But then again the Banana Republic wants me to buy skis so I'm not sure what I'm thinking anymore. Wake me up at a decent hour, like sunset or dusk.
The fact you point out that Nyx is an adult but don't do the same with Snowdrop only makes it creepier.
You should totally make a continuation where Snowdrop meets Luna in the future. So much feels!
ded pp 2 funi
derpicdn.net/img/2012/12/5/173384/full.gif
3737613
Holy shit I forgot how loud my volume was set.
OMG. This was hilarious. Seriously. "I was about to beat Spike's adorable baby ass!" Even though I don't normally like these kinds of stories, it was hilarious. Upvoted.
Horsebians now accepted as new headcanon lingo.
This was terribly dumb. Characters acted in such a way that it doesn't mater how they should behave, it would still have been OOC. The plot was contrived and stupid. The comedy was incredibly dumb.
As such, this gets a yes vote.
3735877
Don't say you weren't warned :V
3735884
Well, I guess I can let it slide. :B
3735899
You just reminded me I need to thank NinesTempest for that line.
3736194
Someone had a version where Snowdrop was turned around, but I kind of didn't want Nyx staring at her ass, so I tilted her up just a bit and moved her pupil. It's very subtle. :B
3736308
I thought about it, but four things is just one thing too many. :B
3736449
NEVER DOUBT ME PERB
NEVER DOUBT ME
3736658
You're damn right it's not. :V
3737844
DO NOT TEMPT ME
DO NOT
DO NOT SOGE I SWEAR TO CELESTIA
3737995
As it should be.
3738061
I'm glad someone recognizes my genius. :D
I am unsure.
Nyx is almost as angsty as Zuko from the Avatar Abridged series here.:rainbow laugh:
And it's even funnier to me because I've been planning a serious story based on this premise.
3738152
Let me know when you've finished it :)
so this is a thing
Next you need to ship her with Master RoXXor.
Made me smirk, which is better than most can attest to.
Were you drunk when you made this!!?? It sounds like a drunk fever dream
Dangit! Mouthful of milk and now my screen's all wet! I hope you're happy!
This is my review:
Traslation:THIS Is FUNNY AS FUK!!!!
"Snowdrop and Nyx Get Drunk and Make Out"
Well at least it's an incredibly self aware title
And wait Pen Stroke doesn't approve fan fics of his OC? That's a little hypocritical if that's the correct way I am even interpreting it
bwahahahahahagahaha!
3738981 He does, but only if they're used in a respectful manner, and this is anything but
3739276 Heh reminds me of Lauren Faust responding to clop and rule 34 in general
What up with that Nyx/Snowdrop shipping recently? I don't have a problem with just seems to be catching on.
mfw this story
24.media.tumblr.com/2e1b52cf6c938e4eb0e7facc2a80db91/tumblr_mgpbveC6241rziwwco1_500.gif
This story is a butt and you should feel butt
3738470
My superpower is not needing to be drunk to write things like this.
3739559
It just happened.
3739837
Should I feel...
your butt? :V
I have been gone for eleven days in which i had no internet access and this , this , is the first story title I read.