Celestia agrees to allow Twilight to spend the night at the palace per Luna's request. But as it turns out, the two ponies have other things in mind other than a sleep-over...
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-Mazer
Joined 10th Mar, 2012 ·
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bravo, good sir!
I got the weirdest boner...
...then I burst I fell out my chair laughing 
...and then that ending made me giggle, knew that kinda twist would happen
That was incredible, very well written. I figured it wasn't a vibrator, but I was wondering "what in Celestia's name could it be...?" I particularly loved the ending, TwiLuna ftw
Bwahahahahahahaahahaahahahaha!
...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zSHz7Thvbc
Ha, the punchline
Near the end, you wrote:
"Luna left the room while shaking her head. How could I have thought such horrible things of my pupil and my little sister? She retreated to her room and crawled back into her bed. "
Don't you mean "Celestia left the room"?
Awesome story anyway
oh you... great story funny and cute like luna herself
i feel like such a nerd for listening to the this while reading.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7O91GDWGPU&feature=related
i don't know how to link to a word so sue me. :/
also, Dat ending.
Bwahahahahahahaa, this one got me. I knew what would happen, canon being that Luna and Twi both love stargazing, but the twist really had me in stitches. Very well done.
You have some minor issues with typos and so forth, but I am certain a good pre-reader could help point them out and fix them.
Have a thumbs-up for making my evening a lot funnier.
I knew they were stargazing. And the end makes it priceless.
absolutly epic, so damn good, couldnt stop laughing!
(for anyone that decided to read comments before reading the story; DONT, the hints will probably ruin it for you)
although i had figured it out somewhere around here, maybe a little later, definetly by the 'rainbow dash' part:
“No! I-uh-mean yes, I’ve done it before, several times in fact. I usually have to wait until Spike falls asleep but, yes, I’ve done it before. But I’ve never used one like this. I mean, mine is just so…well…dinky compared to yours. To be honest, I’m actually quite excited to try yours out.”
but that ending really got me, right when you thought that there was NOTHING like that involved! i wasent really expecting any of the sort since there wasen't a tag for it (which you definetly shouldn't add btw!)!
i love these kinds of fic's, they always mess with the head
Figured it was a telescope about half way through. The twist ending like that reminds me of something, but I can't remember where I saw it.
You didn't exactly keep the joke well-hidden, but the innuendo was still hilarious.
Well done!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/172/737/Picture%201.png
The first thing I thought of actually was "telescope."
Psychic Inky is now canon.
Not a bad fic; I'd relate its quality-length ratio to a good clip from Robot Chicken.
Note to self: Never drink Pepsi while reading this..
Nice fic, good sir. I've read so many stories that I saw the ending coming, actually, but the delivery was too much
That was pretty funny, it had me laughing a few good times.
Okay, I knew it wasn't going to be... that... due to both formula and the "Teen" rating. But regardless.
Why the heck couldn't I get that image out of my head!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
Oh, and might need a spell/grammar check towards the beginning.
"I don't quite approve that analogy, but I understand the analogy."
Seriously, doublecheck your work.
Good story, though.
I love the innuendos there. Heeeeeeee-larious. Huzzah, you just received a million points.
dude
......... DUDE
!!!! YOU DONT BREAK ANOTHER GUYS BALLS LIKE THAT
!!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
?!?!?! LEAVING ME HANGING LIKE THAT JUST AS IT WAS GETTING GREAT
?!!?!!? WTF?! ah well alls well and ends well
damn fine book though kept me laughing from the desription onwards
!!! you should write more books like this
This was just so outrageously funny. I really thought they were doing stuff until Celestia interrupted them, but what made it truly hilarious was when Luna suggested actually doing something.
319952.
Sorry about the typos. I wrote this during my lunch break so i only had 30 minutes and i had to keep minimizing he window ehenever my boss tried to peak at what i was writing. Lol
....oh my.
319449
Thanks for catching that! Fixed!
319952
Fixed :D
Yeah, I know I need to dble check my work, but like I mentioned earlier - I wrote this during my lunch break
so I was on a time constraint.
320084
Ya'know, there's a thing called 'saving it and working on it later."
I'm sorry, but I had to say that.
I would rather take a month to update a really well-edited story than to update a story of poor quality every few days. Just a little advice; that was not meant in any way to bring your hopes down. (If i did)
Oh, by the way . . .
""Well, when I saw it being advertised, I couldn’t resist. You know what they say, Bigger is Better.”
Celestia’s jaw dropped."
Loved that part!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/230/569/a08.jpg
320150
I know, but when I get something in my head, I just have to get it written down ASAP. I was working on the plot all throughout work and just needed to finish it while I still had all the innuendos floating around.
Please don't hate me
Heh, I've seen that little ploy used faaar too many times to be caught off guard by it. Though the ending makes up for it somewhat. X3
img.ponibooru.org/_images/8e8b56f873526fdf52b3976ac029e139/47824%20-%20caption%20derpy_hooves%20i_see_what_u_did_there%20i_see_what_you_did_there%20macro%20reaction_face%20reaction_image.jpg
Oh yes, wonderful. please keep it up.
319903 Canon Phsycic Inky likes to run with axes.
I don't quite understand why this got approved... My 890 word story failed moderation because it wasn't 1000 word.
Gonna read this later... It looks good.
320169
I don't hate you.
I just need to say it again: "Save it and work on it later."
What I would do in that situation (which would never happen, because (1) I don't go to work, and (2) I'm not that fast of a writer), is write what you wrote, save it but don't publish it. Then go back later, make edits, then publish it.
And TADA! An even better version of the story than the one that just got featured (which, for a 30-minute story, is quite the achievement in itself).
Still, good job.
319903>>320157
A lot of people see what he did . . .
320192
Ok, that's just awesome and cute.
This fic was glorious! The ending, in Lunas words "The fun has been doubled!"
Brilliant fic, keep up the awesome work!
Well played, well played indeed.
you sir, have just won the game!
320114
No prob.
I didn't mean it as a diss, or anything, just something to be aware of. The reason my chapters take so long is cuz I'm always redoing it. Again. And again. And again... you get the picture.
Great story. Don't stop.
...
I wonder if Luna will show Twilight her sextant next...
That was brilliant.
When I read the title first, I parsed it as "Luna's Rump". Needless to say, i was sorely disapointed :V
In all honesty, the writing here is servicable, but the conceit of the story is evident from the get go - there are also some issues with passive voice in the beginning of the story, and Luna's dialogue and characterization are wonky. There's no consistent establishment of her character, whether it's direct from olden times Ponyville, or a mish-mash of her episode alongside some fanon.
Either way, it was cute, but not ground-breaking in any real regard. Would be nice to see a crack at a more ambitious story.
It had me guessing at times and thinking "where this going?
" "is celly being trolled?
" "please don't be a clopfic."
Very well done sir. Well written and brilliant ineuendos. The ending was perfect.
320672
Me thinks you are reading into it too far my friend
This wasn't one of my more serious works - it was done just for the lols. If you want all those things you mentioned, read my other stories.
320645
Oh I know and I appreciate the criticism :D Also helps out and trust me
I know exactly how you feel. Been that way with my serious work for quite some time as well
Oh god that ending, Just like when Amy and Fry got stuck in a planet with no fuel left.
Funny mind fucking.
So many wierd images.... Goddamnit, Mazer! Why did you have to put those images in my head?!
i24.photobucket.com/albums/c40/und3rd0g/clint-nod.gif
320728
Well...I've done sad
I'm working on Dark and Twisted
So I wanted something funny with a bit of a tease thrown in
heh
320714
Whether or not something is 'serious' doesn't absolve it from being held to a certain creative standard. I didn't mean to imply the content of the story was anything undesirable, but certain technical or narrative corrections could improve the impact of the storytelling.