Despite how kind and caring Princess Celestia seems to be, Twilight Sparkle constantly worries about displeasing her. From her nightmares of returning to Magic Kindergarten, to being sent to a dungeon, to banishment; there is no punishment that Twilight cannot imagine.
But why is Twilight so afraid of her teacher? Where did this paranoia come from and what secrets has Celestia kept from the rest of Equestria?
Taking place before the Return of NightMare Moon, this story will finally shed light on exactly why Twilight fears the teacher she claims to love so very much.
Chapters (7)
Only problem is you need to double space instead of single space/tab key.
Okay, you've got me hooked...
This story is off to a great start, and I'm interested to see where it goes. I do have one gripe, though: the formatting of the paragraphs. Due to the single-spaced formatting here, you really should put an extra return between paragraphs, and some manner of marker to indicate a scene change, like the one after Twilight finishes talking to Mrs. Paper. I noticed very few typographical errors, which is always a good thing, and, seeing as the only one that I really noticed was a "possible" instead of a "possibly" up near the beginning of the chapter, they didn't detract too much from the story. Overall, the story so far flows very well, and the ponies are very believable (well, insofar as pastel-colored talking magical equines can be, anyway), especially Twilight, whose characterization here is superb.
I'm listening.
866518
Not sure what you mean....this is how I've always written my stories...
867171
Thank ya for the tip. I will separate the parts a bit better with a visual cue. Glad you are enjoying it!
Oh damn...
Well this story has a great start, and I can't wait to see where you go with this.
Carry on.
868317
i.imgur.com/SRtTm.jpg
You sir are not a novice. You portray them quite well. you've earned 3 pinkie's
change in your story
You sir are not a novice. You portray them quite well. you've earned 3 pinkie's
*one for each* change in your story
don't change your story
Awesome.
No more need be said.
I liked discord in this, he's much more realistic then the show, sadistic and evil. At least now they have a legitimate reason to hate him.
876165
Very true. You would think he would be the way his now then, and become the way he was then now. I guess being trapped in stone for thousands of years you calm down and grow attached to the ponies surrounding you
877783
Or cannon is grossly toned down.
878011
Could be, it is a kids show. Yet how Mazer describes Discord is how you would think the embodiment of chaos would be.
879038
you may enjoy my Chaos and Anarchy story then as Discord is one of the main characters.
879063
WUT
879295
^_^ Check it out. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/14887/Chaos-and-Anarchy
It will help explain the concept of Anarchy and the Shards ^_^
Whoa, so the Shards of Anarchy turned into the Elements of Harmony?
That's what I'm guessing since they absorbed the love from the ponies.
Carry on.
EDIT: I spelled "from" wrong.
879397
sounds good. I be sure to read it.
okay I now I understand your other post
879397
Sorry I'm still getting use to the way people type online
880493
No need. It was my fault for not using proper grammar with that post
When I re-read it, I was like "Oh lord, did I really type it like that?" 
I'm not enjoying the phrasing you use for dialogue in the story. Ideally transcribing an accent or a manner of speaking would give the reader some sense of how a character sounds or hints about the setting, but here it just reads as though you wrote the dialogue normally and then used Find+Replace for things like "is" > "tis", "you" > "thou", and so on. Plus the overlap between Prism's accent ("nae", etc.) and the overall Shakespearean English is just confusing.
Your concepts are interesting, though- the idea that the Elements of Harmony are ancient relics of nonpony origin which have absorbed the goodness of ponies over time is pretty neat, even if I do prefer their "shattered Rainbow of Light" origin from the Pony POV series.
Still wondering how this quest to save ponykind is ever going to tell us what's so scary about Princess Celestia, though. If it's the main thrust of the story (in this story and/or in the book Twilight is reading) shouldn't it be mentioned sooner than this?
883239
Patience ^_^ all will be explained in time.
I'm getting pretty into this story, MOAR!!!
It almost seems unfulfilled how Princess Celestia got away with her atrocities unpunished.
Thats it? ...well that does explain her paranoia, but it still seems.... lacking, you should make a chapter where Celestia answers for what she did. Maybe Twilight took notes (like she always does) and reading her notes breaks the spell?
1058331
1057326
she didn't go unpunished. Her anger caused her to loose her Sister which is explained. It is her wrath that helped Luna become Nightmare Moon. She ruined her own family and her own chances at happiness which is explained. Don't forget there is also a 1000 year gap from the end of the journal to present time so Celestia's suffering was long-lived.
Furthermore there cannot be any further explanations outside what was written as the journal is destroyed and with it the knowledge of what happened after. You only learn what Twilight learns. Celestia is the only one who knows what happened after the events of the journal (which basically is the start of NightMare Moon's reign).
And breaking the spell would mean Twilight had prior knowledge of Luna, Discord, and NightmareMoon which would be against the canon of the series.
however I am not an unreasonable person. I added a few extra lines to Celestia talking to Twilight that sheds a bit more light on everything she had lost. Again though, because there is no way for Twilight to learn what happened to Celestia (if she was punished or not), there is no way for the audience to learn that as well. Remember, the entirety of the story is portrayed through the journal. Twilight can only learn what is in the journel itself.
1058418 I did'nt say it had to be right after, but I can see what you're saying and I still believe Celestia should be confronted about it. If not for what happened in the past then for altering memories of someone who said outright that they forgive her for what happened.
Also, I would'nt mind a few breaks in canon, at least Twilight would'nt be going up against a GODDESS and be uninformed by her mother figure.
1058481
Ah, I see what you mean now.
Well I have my own storyline set up for all of my stories. Except for Luna's Romp and Hello Trixie, all my stories remain canon to one another. I already planned on working on Luna, Celestia, Discord which will showcase what happened in the gaps of the journal including bits afterwards. I never intended on those parts to be in this story but you will see them in later stories ^_^
I do hope you enjoyed the Archives though. :twilightlesmile:
Interesting. So Twilight really doesn't know why she thinks Celestia is capable of horrible punishments. That's... really unfortunate, actually. Before the amnesia spell it seemed like she believed that Celestia had changed since the time when the journal was written. If Celestia had just sworn her to secrecy, I think she'd have been less afraid of her, in the end.
And maybe that's the point- maybe the fact that Celestia is willing to go to extremes to cover up her past shows that she hasn't changed as much as she'd like to think she has, and Twilight's fears are less unfounded than they seem.
I'm going to give this story a thumbs-up for its interesting ideas on Equestrian history and characterization of Celestia and Twilight Sparkle, but I want you to check out this page to get a better understanding of how "thou", "thee", "thy" and "thine" were used when they were part of normal English, so you can write archaic dialogue that doesn't make me flinch when I look at it.
1073553
Thanks for the link and I am glad you liked the story
A long time ago, but still the same monster.
ΔΓ
ominous
well..................
hmmmmmm, if Celestia truly changed, y did she have to erase the memory.....I guess not to cause any unrest should it get out but it still undermines her claim to have changed
This is one of those under-appreciated stories... Strange how something this good and thought provoking has so few views and likes.
Yes, it probably is a bit short on sensible explanations sometimes and Luna's and Celestia's characters could have used a little more depth; but overall it is extremely well written and a very enjoyable read.
The idea with the shards of anarchy is brilliant and something I've never seen the likes of.
It does add a lot of depth to Celestia. Good work.