• Member Since 5th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago


ACAB, Black Lives Matter | A teacher, student, writer, and opinionated reader. Responsible for the cleverpun's Critique Corner review series: http://tinyurl.com/h3ftsm3


Twilight Sparkle, prized student of Princess Celestia, has always been very good at magic. Too good.

This is the story of how she solves every problem all by herself, because she is the best pony and my favorite.

Chapters (14)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 243 )

I can see why there are no comments, the sheer awesomeness of this... this leaves one speechless.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Though Twilight could've.

Brain exploded from the sheer amount of OP Mary Sue-ness... :rainbowderp::pinkiecrazy::derpyderp1:

The best part is the author's note :pinkiehappy:

This is so fucking brilliant!

999.9999999% pure?

Wow. I usually only make it up to 112% pure.

Best ending to a chapter ever.

We all know that Discord is going to hijack the author's notes and deconstruct this story when he comes round.

:heart::twilightsmile::heart: Nothing's more perf than this.

Yeah, most kinds of authority will really change how someone acts. Also, TWILIGHT OP NERF PL0X:flutterrage:

I can't help but notice how short these chapters are. Princess Wincess Smoon Super Effective Shoop-Da-Whoop out the plot Sporkle Minceraft PWN Stop Hammertime Overpowered Overawesome Magic/Friendship/Soft Taco Twilight Sparkle is long chapter-deserving Twilight Sparkle.

Also, while I'm at it, :heart::twilightsmile::heart::twilightsmile::heart::twilightsmile::heart::twilightsmile::heart::pinkiecrazy::heart::twilightsmile::heart:

3526002 i shouldn't even need to write this much; Twilight sparkle being best should be self-evident
and you forgot 'pretty' and 'modest' :twilightsmile:

3525411>>3525417 ikr? I died my hair purple so I could be more like her she's so smart and pretty we're a lot alike

3525710 Season 2 wasn't very good there wasn't enough twilight in it and the two-parters could've been better they made twilight way too weak it broke my immersion. This story will prolly only do season 1 even I cant fix everything.

3525498 youre right im sorry I really did make Celestia way too powerful. Maybe I should have made Twilight the ticket pony so she could give herself the tickets? But then who would've promoted her; Celestia? :twilightoops: This is y writing is hard.

Going through the initial silliness I honestly expected to tire of it quickly. Sustaining this kind of thing over any period of time without it becoming tedious is not easy.

Unsurprisingly, Twilight Sparkle exceeded my expectations and continued to be as seductively fascinating and delightfully interesting as she began, if not a bit more so. Clearly she is best pony and deserves all the internets, a mole of cookies that will never go stale, and as many hugs as she could ever desire. Plus more if she wanted it, from whatever pony suited her fancy.

I am so glad we have such a wonderful entity in our midst. Perhaps if I am fortunate enough I will see her someday myself.

Light and laughter,

3526635 I know! I totally agree. twilight needs like one giant hug from everypony all at once anything else isn't good enough for her

OOC: I know how you feel about the tedious thing--after all the My British Pony and Letters From a Disgruntled Friendship Student and such, I'm pretty skeptical of the format myself. As my story gallery may show, however, I rarely refuse an opportunity to skewer cliches. :derpytongue2:

Let me guess when she meets diamond tiara and silver spoon they instantly apologise to the CMC and stops being bullies forever.:twilightsmile:

Gilda tamed in ten seconds flat by none other than the super ultra extreme awesomazing sexy awesome smart humble Princess Twilight Mother Bucking Sparkle.:twilightsmile: I love how the comments are longer than the actual chapters.

On the one hand, it's parody. On the other, it lost its novelty after the second chapter, and it depends on its novelty.

3528751 It lost it's novelty when Letters From a Disgruntled Friendship Student did it but that's okay becuz im a really good writer so this shouldnt even count as parody twilight really is that gr8

See also this comment 3526880 :raritywink:

3527743 thats a good idea i was gon ignore dt and ss because theyre mean but that might work


Yea, right..

Oooooooooooh... It's a thin, thin line between intentionally bad and genuinely bad, and most people can't tell the difference half the time anyway. Tread carefully, bro. You're definitely on thin ice here.

I really do love the author's notes.

I promised myself I would never have a special somepony before I got married, because chastity is important.

This does not make sense, what Twilight is saying here is, basically, "I would never have a girlfriend/boyfriend before I got married."

3525590 They say 999 fine gold to mean 999mg out of one kg.

1) Go up to some random person
2) Propose to them
3) Get married
4) Ask them to be your special somepony

Seems like a good idea to me:trollestia:

The author's notes are improving.


999 mg in 1 kg is almost 1 part in a thousand...

and your 'joking' detector just had a false negative.

Your writing has improved greatly! So life-like and realistic, it's like you're one of the actual writers for the show!

(Lol, this is hilarious though)

3533372 premarital relations are bad and gross what are you even trying to say? :pinkiesick:

3534663 ikr? I know show writers aren't allowed to read fanfic but maybe when this is done Ill send it to the New Yorker or someone like that and then Hasbro won't have a choice but to read it :raritystarry:

3534907 So, in your mind, premarital relations are worse than extramarital relations?:rainbowhuh: A "special somepony" is a boyfriend/coltfriend or a girlfriend/marefriend, depending on ones gender and sexual preferences. To get married to someone, it is customary or, at least, advisable to be in a romantic relationship with them before marriage. To test the waters, as it were, to see if they are compatible with one another. Sex does not necessarily have to be a part of this arrangement. However, some sort of "getting to know you" phase would be... beneficial for both parties. Otherwise, it is likely to end in divorce, with one party minus half of their belongings, and paying alimony for the rest of either their or their ex-spouse's life. However, what Twilight said was that she would not have a girlfriend or boyfriend until after she was married.

3535061 OOC: it was supposed to be confusing and illogical :raritywink:

:pinkiehappy:Do doo be-do-do:pinkiehappy:
:pinkiehappy:Do do-do do:pinkiehappy:
:pinkiehappy:Do doo de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do!:pinkiehappy:

Pretty is as self-evident as Twilight's greatness.
Although, I say that she's not modest. She's too great to be modest. Too great for her to not acknowledge it. If she didn't acknowledge it, she would be dubbed stupid or crazy.

If Twixie happens, this story will no longer be funny. Not even Twilight can fix my hatred for shipping. If I see one more AppleDash story, I WILL LOSE IT!
*looks for more stories*
*Wild AppleDash appears!*
*unleashes rage on Equus *the ponies's planet**

While that does seem to make some sense, the empirical evidence does not support that thesis. There is no statistically significant difference between the marriage success rates between people who life together beforehand and those that don't. (roughly 66% to 65%) And people who do this multiple times are actually more likely to get a divorce than people who don't.

Similarities among characteristics that both parties find important remains one of the best indicators of relationship success. This does not necessarily require any testing period, and depending on what the two parties find important, it can potentially be detrimental, as people will often times act differently during courtship.

Gee, it seems like someone does not like rarity. See, I did not even capitalize her name, she will never be anything like our Twilight-chan Kawaii Princessu.


Despair, bitch! You are nothing!

Oh noes! How can Twilight be perfect anymore if she lost her powers? Did Rarity just become the Vampire Princess of Awesome? Quick, get the Elements of Harmony, Twilight. You can save Rarity!

That escalated quickly.

The subtle meta-framing device is fascinating. Also, could this be the introduction of an actual plot?

3538380 IKR?

3538444 Rarity is too evil to be harmonized--she'd just get turned to stone like Discord because she is such a heartless monster nothing could ever save her. Nopony would want to save her anyway she is unpopular and mean and ugly

3538570 Maybe :trixieshiftright:

3538890 Which is exactly why best pony should save her. Nopony else would, making Twilight best for seeing good in her.

3538890 Also, if Rarity is not saved, who will make the pretty dresses for Twilight and all of her thirty friends?

3538915 I forgot she's also greedy and prety and a really bad dancer

Well! It really looks like the plot is escalating!

Myesterious athor person what do u think of seson 4

Hmm. Well, clearly, Twilight's going to need a replacement friend to stay as well-rounded and utterly likable as before. I suggest Derpy Hooves, in a totally unbiased and even-handed way.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!