• Member Since 5th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

cleverpun


Defund the Police, Black Lives Matter | A teacher, student, writer, and opinionated reader. Responsible for the cleverpun's Critique Corner review series: http://tinyurl.com/h3ftsm3

T

A long time ago, two sisters ruled over the land: one held dominion over the day, and the other commanded the night. They quarreled, and to solve their dispute, they did something petty. They split the planet in half. They stopped the rotation of the planet—tidally locked it—so that one side would always be night, and the other always day.

Rarity is a member of the Corona Empire's parliament, sworn to do what is best for her country. One day, Queen Celestia summons her for a private talk. She asks Rarity to do something unthinkable, unfathomable, unheard of: deliver a message to the leader of the Nightscape, Queen Luna.

Chapters (7)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 38 )

Very interesting.

I like it! Celestia and Rarity as teacher and student feels so natural here, and one can only wonder what entails this journey she will have to undertake. Maybe five certain someponies will help her along the way, hmm?

Can’t wait for more!

Been a while since I've seen an opener like that. Good flow. Well executed.

You have my attention.

Mentally a see Twilight, some self modifications, flitterbat, and rainbow dash with Luna and the other 3 with Celestia.

This is a fun idea tracked and upvoted.

But why now?
Why Queen Celestia send a letter after 1000 years?

9643528

Immortals don´t measure time like we do. For Celestia, her "spat" with Luna was like a decade ago or so.
Of course the members of the other races who still had to suffer the consequences of the Alicorn Sisters´ temper tantrum probably don´t see it that way.

I think this is the first story I've read that changes who Celestia's student is. (Well, I guess there's Rainbows and Royalty.)

Celestia and airy have a natural rapport, I wish they interacted more often.

This looks like it's going to be quite a lot of fun indeed. Looking forward to more.

I can see Rainbow being the one to sneak into enemy territory for some booze.

It looks like the division is geographical: ponies from Canterlot and Cloudsdale on one side, Everfree on the other, Ponyville in the middle? That means Twilight should also be on the solar side, the Pie family on the dark side, and the Apples in no-mare's-land?

If you've retried from writing, then why are you writing this story?

9651164 I wrote a meandering blog post about that very subject.

...to watch the sun—er, moon rise

Wait, how would that even work? Wouldn't that mean moving either object, presumably violating the two queens' accord?

In any case, fascinating take on Sweetie Belle. With her sister in the upper echelons of society, it makes sense that she'd fall in with a more arrogant crowd. Combine that with Rarity's training...

You've created a monster, Fashion Horse. I hope you're proud of yourself.

That's a powerful opening. Flows well, hints and deeper meanings galore.

That's two of the party, and a third of the way if it ends up being the Six

Wait, how would a sundial work if the sun doesn't move?

Aside from that, Rarity's clearly trying to figure out how she feels about the potential change based on everypony else's reactions, but Dash has a point. That will tell Rarity the diplomatic opinion to hold, but not what her true reaction is.

And it'll be interesting to see what rumors await these two when they wake up...

9663757 The sun/moon move across the sky, from one horizon to the other. This is caused by a combination of libration and magic.

Didn't this story used to be longer?

Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her neck. “Alright, let me put it this way. Did you ever read Nightfall ?”

Huh. That's a reference I wasn't expecting to see.

Well, i expect big talk with that bat pony in next chapter!

9687217 Given some of the particular similarities between Nightfall and this story, I couldn't resist having one of the characters reference it.

I have to wonder how nightsiders react to seeing the sun for the first time. Similar, I would imagine, but it's hard to have a long, dark night of the soul at high noon.

It’s not my fault. It’s all just a cultural construct. I don’t mean to be xenophobic. I don’t mean to be...

Why, some of my best friends are... well, no, they aren't.

Wonderful bit of existential disquiet. Also, seems like that's Fluttershy accounted for. Looking forward to more.

The town looked like Eclipston in other ways, although even sparse foliage made everything seem much newer and well-kempt.

If it's night out, plants shouldn't be able to photosynthesize, so how do they exist here?

9688158
Full moon all the time?

9688158 Basically, the earth ponies have to force everything to be remotely healthy. There are references to this in chapter 5. As 9688685 mentioned, the moonlight might also be enough for some plants. There's some real life plants that bloom nocturnally, and that are pollinated by moths or bats.

Despite all this, I'm guessing that the Nightscape doesn't have a particularly healthy ecology. Neither does Corona, for that matter.

9687884 Perhaps diurnalism is similar in effect, but not methodology. Or if night is the depressant, perhaps day is the stimulant; jitters, paranoia, an excess of energy.

As always, your constant comments are appreciated :twilightsmile:

I'm really liking the world building you've got going, and how you're touching base with the other four members of the Mane Six without forcing them in.

I'll need to go back and read chapter 5 for those references!

Ooh, only the second or so instance I’ve seen of this premise. Interesting to see the varying levels of similarity and difference in the characters from how we otherwise know them. Looking forward to seeing where it goes!

Plus I was fortunate enough to read Nightfall (the expanded novel) back in college, so that was a pleasant surprise.

Really interesting story and concept here. These stories usually do bits from a different Twilights perspective with lots more knowledge on the situation. Really enjoying it being Rarity for a change and things being much more nebulous and hidden. Really nicely done work and I hope to read more soon.

Seems fitting that Applejack would be a moonshiner.

Tsk Tsk Rarity, always fretting about the social order.

Nice to get some further information on the local celestial mechanics.

“why in the world are you purchasing fungale at a college?”

Spoken like someone who's never met a biochem major.

Applejack without her usual accent may be the most disconcerting and even unnerving part of this AU. In any case, it will be interesting to see how Rarity handles her hospitality.

Interesting how Applejack and Rainbow meet first time.

Good to see a update! Looks like a friendly face appears!

“If you want to sample local color, I can hang around down here for a bit.”

That's an amusing end to the chapter.

Ah right, Cadenza was originally a pegasus.

This is an interesting AU you've built here.

Wow, so cool! I love how this story is progressing! :pinkiehappy:

I like that it's Rarity for a change. She's one of my favorite non-alicorn MLP characters.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!