• Member Since 14th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 4th, 2014


I particularly enjoy the Equestria Girls setting and also have a soft spot for the CMC. Thanks for reading!


The Cutie Mark Crusaders' plans for an afternoon of crusading are interrupted by a school assignment to write a report on nature. They've heard other ponies talk about "the birds and the bees" and decide to ask their sisters and the rest of the Mane Six for their help on the subject.

Needless to say, the answers they get should make for a very interesting report!

(Cover art composite created from vector images by Alphanz and Sulyo)

Presented as a multiple short chapter story.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 379 )

If this fic doesn't end with the CMC being overly traumatized due to a VERY detailed explanation from somepony, I will be disappoint.

3520863 something tells me that will be either pinkie's or twilights fault.

"I'll start with Rarity I guess"

Forgot a comma at the end there. Also, shame on you for littering, Sweetie! :unsuresweetie:

3520863 my money's on twilight.

Lol, there too innocent for there own good sometimes. Fluttershy will probably be terrified of going outside now...

And she knows rainbow dash is more experienced? I wonder how she knows (insert the trollestia looking smily)

I'd say Pinkie.
Sweetie Belle will come out with her saddle bags filled with condoms and toys.

Yes yes yes and yes, this story is so going on my favorites list! :rainbowlaugh:

Well, this promises to be hilarious. Eagerly looking forward to more.

Definitely Pinkie Pie. There will be props. And silly noises. And possibly blackboard illustrations.

Heeeeehee. I love it, just my kind of humor. Very well done, sire. :twilightsmile:


Poor ol' Shy. :yay:

Ah this old joke. Never gets old. Can't wait for each pony to be scarred. Teehee.

3520863 *coughTwilightcough*

I didn't say anything. :scootangel:

I temper my sense of decency in expectation, good sir. :raritywink:

Also, this story is going to get real awkward real fast...and I like that. :twilightsmile:

Poor Flutters, poor CMC...but I love it! :rainbowlaugh:

Comment posted by TheHoleyCheese deleted Nov 22nd, 2013

3521802 3521253 3520931
Huh. Everyone says Twilight or Pinkie. I can see it wont happen here, but in one chapter of a fic my friend wrote, they tickled tortured Fluttershy into telling them what Wingboners meant and got a full talk on the Birds and the bees

3521015 that's gonna give me a run for my money. Twilight will probably show some sort of homemade sex tape or something and say it's an 'educational' video. But then again, pinkie....

3522072 well this isnt the same fic either.

I'm liking this fic already. :scootangel:

Eesh, this reminds me of my laughable school-age sex ed. When I was Scootaloo's age, I thought you got yeast infections from eating bad pastries.:derpytongue2: Nowadays I know better. (You get them from touching dirty socks:rainbowlaugh:)
I have to wonder if maybe Dashie can show the CMC "Where the colts aren't" videos. (Not that she's into those or anything. Ahem.)
I look forward to seeing how this little tale unfolds.

I know. I'm just saying while Pinkie and Twilight make the most sense to explain it, it's refreshing to have somepony that is not them do it.

:applecry: "... but Miss Cheerilee, we tried askin' a buncha ponies about the birds 'n' bees, but they all just kept on talkin' about sex!"

And that's the story of how the Crusaders got their Cutie Marks.


Well, the concept certainly isn't new.

But who cares? :twilightsmile:

You're doing a much better job with the classic "where do babies come from" story arc than a lot of fanfics I've seen, and I found myself chuckling at quite a few parts. You've written the characters pretty well, and I look forward to seeing this story through to the end.

Oh, and congrats on the feature, bro!

After several moments, Fluttershy gulped and said, "I...I'll be alright, I just had no idea that everypony thought that about me.

And then Fluttershy discovered the internet.

OMG! MOAR!!! :heart:


:scootangel: i don't understand why Flutters didn't tell me anything, after all she does the yearly rabbit count, Flutters has got to be the expert

Speculation of how each Mane 6 will handle the topic:
Applejack - A basic, no nonsense rundown of fillies and colts will leave Applebloom informed, but thinking that her sister misunderstood the question.
Fluttershy - We already know what's she has to say on the topic.
Rarity - She will give dating advice but Sweetie Belle will be left confused just like Applebloom.
Twilight - A no holds barred presentation of the ins and outs of the topic at hand. Applebloom's frustration at not getting an answer that makes sense will cause her to ask Twilight if she can borrow some books on birds and bees. Twilight will oblige, but will be left not understanding why Applebloom started by asking about sex but finished by asking for books about animals.
Rainbow Dash - Not sure what she'll say, as it depends on Scantrel's head canon of both Scootaloo (does she have parents?) and Dash (is she as experienced in this subject as Fluttershy says?)
Pinkie Pie - A lesson about bees and birds. This will be the CMC's main source of information for the essay, as well as Twilight's books, because it is the only one that covers the topic they initially intended to cover.


Oh, I don't want to give away too much too early in the game. But doubtless Twilight will handle this in her own adorkable way. :twilightsheepish:


Thanks a lot, and thank you everyone for the great comments! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine getting featured. I'm a bit beside myself this morning waking up to see this. :pinkiehappy:

I loved the conversation with Fluttershy. It's an old joke for sure, but very well done. Excellent work.

I have such a big grin on my face right now you would run for a shotgun if you saw me looking at you.

ya gotta love youthful innocence

Hehehe, oh glorious plot setup. I can't wait to see where this goes :pinkiehappy:

Oh man. That encounter made my day :twilightsheepish: Should I be ashamed about that? :twilightblush: Ah well. Most definitely will be following, hope to see more soon!



Comment posted by Moonlit Shimmer deleted Nov 22nd, 2013

I laughed hard enough to make my head hurt.

Poor Sweetie. Generosity means giving, but not necessarily giving what the person wants. :unsuresweetie:

Also, I'd have gone with "neither Tartarus nor tidal surges" for the distorted turn of phrase. Still very nice, though.

Looking forward to more. Especially since the short chapters allow you to churn this out quite quickly.


I *do* like that turn of phrase better. Shame I didn't think of it. :applecry:

And I hope to tackle the next chapter tonight or tomorrow, depends how much fallout we have from the storms that tore through last night where I am. That and wanting to go catch the new Hunger Games flick. :rainbowwild:


Done with permission :twilightsmile:

If this is Generosity's version... I'd think Honesty's version will be much more graphic

Ha, so trashy, Rarity, so trashy. And I bet Twilight has an entire shelf of those type of books. For research purposes, of course.

This story is 100% Discord-Approved. :rainbowlaugh:

One grammatical error you may wish to fix throughout the story:

I'll see y'all back at the clubhouse." Apple Bloom said.

Conversation attributions (like he said, she yelled, etc) are part of the same sentence as the conversation. Due to that, periods/full-stops right before them (that end the bit of conversation that goes with the attribution, of course) get replaced with a comma, though other bits of punctuation (like exclamation and question marks) stay. So it would be: I'll see y'all back at the clubhouse," Apple Bloom said.

"OK, I'll run by Fluttershy's place too, she'll be like the ultimate source for us." Scootaloo said.

Comma splice. The comma after "too" should either be a period (and the first letter of "she" capitalized) or a semicolon. And the period after "us" should be a comma, of course.

neither Tartarus nor tidal surges


and on that day, Sweetie decided to never read again


I have to credit that to FanOfMostEverything...dang I wish I'd thought that up the first time.


Thanks a lot for the helpful critique! It's the kind little lessons we get that make us all better writers :twilightsmile:

Nah, here's how Honesty's version goes.
AB: Applejack, can you tell me about the birds and the bees?
AJ: Well I'll be...didn't think you were quite ready for those questions. Sure, come on, sit down. What brings this on?
AB: School project.
AJ: ...why would 'the birds and the bees' be a school project?
AB: It's a report on nature. Birds and Bees are part of nature.
AJ: ...I take it I'm not the only one you're asking?
AB: *shakes head* Nope! I'm also going to be asking Twilight. Sweetie will be asking Rarity and Pinkie Pie. Scootaloo's gonna be asking Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.
AJ: How come Scootaloo's asking Fluttershy?
AB: She got first pick of the three remaining, and Fluttershy's bound to know tons about the birds and the bees, what with her animal caretaking, right?
Applejack stares at Apple Bloom for a time, then busts up laughing.

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