The Birds and the Bees

by Scantrel


Rainbow Dash

Scootaloo was just about to give up. She had searched high and low, all throughout Ponyville, and still no sign of Rainbow Dash. With a little sigh of defeat, Scootaloo turned her scooter around and headed back in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres to meet up with her two fellow Crusaders at the clubhouse. She hoped Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had been more successful in getting information for their report.

As she rounded the final bend on the main road before the turn-off to Sweet Apple Acres, Scootaloo glanced up at the sky to try and get a sense of the time by where Celestia's sun was positioned. To her happy surprise, Scootaloo spied the end of a multi-hued tail dangling from a low-hanging cloud. She steered her scooter directly underneath and called up, "Hey, Rainbow Dash!"

The tail twitched slightly, but Rainbow Dash didn't answer.

Scootaloo took off her helmet and cleared her throat, then shouted more loudly, "RAINBOW DASH!"

The tail-tip wriggled and vanished up over the edge of the cloud to be replaced by Rainbow Dash's face peeking down. Rainbow Dash blinked and rubbed a hoof over her eyes a little sleepily, but then seeing Scootaloo below she smiled. "Hey Squirt!" Rainbow Dash called down. "What's up?"

"I've been looking all over Ponyville for you, do you have a few minutes to talk?" Scootaloo asked.

Rainbow Dash stood up and stretched before flying down to land beside Scootaloo. "Oh, sure thing, sorry about that, I was taking a little nap. I was just over at the Apple farm giving Big Mac a workou...err, I mean working out in the field with Big Mac." Rainbow Dash's smile turned into a somewhat cocky grin. At least she'd caught herself before she said too much.

"Wow, I would never have expected you to do farm chores," Scootaloo said in surprise.

"It's, ah, kinda a recent thing. So what can I help with, Scoots?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, I wanted to ask you about the birds and the bees," Scootaloo replied.

Rainbow Dash's grin slipped a bit, her expression becoming a bit guarded. "Did Applejack put you up to this? I thought I saw her poking her head around the barn."

Scootaloo shook her head. "No, I haven't seen Applejack all day. The only other pony I've seen is Fluttershy and she recommended that I talk to you, which was a little unusual."

Rainbow Dash smirked. "Fluttershy recommended me, did she? That's not surprising, I'm awesome. And if Shy would let me, I would totally hit that."

Scootaloo blinked. Why would Rainbow Dash hurt Fluttershy? "You'd hit her?"

Rainbow Dash tilted her head and stared at Scootaloo, before her face broke out in a grin again. "I can see why we need to have this talk, Squirt. No, I wouldn't really hit Fluttershy, I meant that I gladly take her for a roll in the hay."

Scootaloo frowned a little. "OK, but I don't see how wrestling is that different."

Rainbow Dash shook her head and chuckled. "No, no...OK, I can see we're going to have to start slower. So, why the sudden interest in the birds and the bees? I mean, I get being curious, but I was a bit older than your age when I lost my cherry. I just wonder why now."

"If you lost your cherry, why didn't you go to the market and get another?" Scootaloo asked.

Rainbow Dash put her forehooves to her sides to try and stifle the giggles. "You're killing me, Scoots, really."

"Well, it's for school. Miss Cheerilee said we have to write a paper on something natural. In fact, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle and I are all working on the same thing," Scootaloo explained.

"Whoa, for school? If I had assignments like this back when I was in class, I think I'd have paid more attention." Rainbow Dash quipped. "I'm not too keen on writing papers, that's more egghead stuff. I prefer more show and tell."

"I guess so, I'm just really glad we only have to write about it and not do an oral presentation." Scootaloo said.

"Hey, don't knock oral things until you tried it," Rainbow Dash said with a wink.

"So, Rainbow, can I ask you why Fluttershy suggested I talk to you? No offense, but I would think she would have been excited to teach me. Instead she just seemed to get really upset," Scootaloo asked curiously.

"I really don't think this is the kind of thing Fluttershy would want to talk to anypony about." Rainbow Dash paused to think a moment. "Hmm, I guess it's because this one time, at flight camp..." Rainbow Dash said, reminiscing. "She kinda walked in on me and two colts. I think she couldn't speak for a day after that. So yeah, I can see why she steered you my way."

Scootaloo thought about that. "So what were you and the colts doing? Working on some sort of nature study?"

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but laugh a little at that one. "Well, that's one way of putting it I suppose. More like I was being the Rainbow filling of a pony sandwich." Seeing that Scootaloo still hadn't gotten it, Rainbow said, "Doing the horizontal bop? One was finding the pot of gold at the end of the Rainbow while I was..." Rainbow's voice trailed off.

"OK, enough beating around the bush. We were fooling around." Rainbow said, throwing up her hooves in exasperation.

"Oh!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "Why didn't you say that?"

"I did, in a manner of speaking," Rainbow Dash countered. "But enough about my conquests, what do you need from me to help you with your homework?"

"Well, I was wondering when we were going to get to talk about birds and bees," Scootaloo answered.

"We have been, sort of," Rainbow Dash said. "Though I guess if you have to write a paper for school about it, you probably will want to use all the proper terms and descriptions and such."

Scootaloo tried her best to conceal her confusion. She hadn't heard one thing about a bird or bee that she could use on her report. Maybe Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle had better luck with their own efforts. Scootaloo decided that it was probably best to not drag this out any further. "Yeah, I'm sure I'll have to fill in the blanks with all of that." Scootaloo said, trying to sound appreciative. "Thanks for taking the time, Rainbow Dash, I should probably go see how Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom are doing."

Rainbow Dash nodded with a smile. "Suit yourself, but if you have more questions, don't hesitate to look me up." Rainbow Dash flapped her wings, hovering up in the air. "I think I'll go check on Fluttershy and make sure she's doing alright. Take care, Scoots!" Rainbow Dash flew off in the direction of Fluttershy's cottage.

"Ugh, my head hurts," Scootaloo grumbled to herself, putting her helmet back on. She was starting to think they should have done a report on butterflies instead. Mounting her scooter, Scootaloo set off down the road again towards Sweet Apple Acres.