Scootaloo was just about to give up. She had searched high and low, all throughout Ponyville, and still no sign of Rainbow Dash. With a little sigh of defeat, Scootaloo turned her scooter around and headed back in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres to meet up with her two fellow Crusaders at the clubhouse. She hoped Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had been more successful in getting information for their report.
As she rounded the final bend on the main road before the turn-off to Sweet Apple Acres, Scootaloo glanced up at the sky to try and get a sense of the time by where Celestia's sun was positioned. To her happy surprise, Scootaloo spied the end of a multi-hued tail dangling from a low-hanging cloud. She steered her scooter directly underneath and called up, "Hey, Rainbow Dash!"
The tail twitched slightly, but Rainbow Dash didn't answer.
Scootaloo took off her helmet and cleared her throat, then shouted more loudly, "RAINBOW DASH!"
The tail-tip wriggled and vanished up over the edge of the cloud to be replaced by Rainbow Dash's face peeking down. Rainbow Dash blinked and rubbed a hoof over her eyes a little sleepily, but then seeing Scootaloo below she smiled. "Hey Squirt!" Rainbow Dash called down. "What's up?"
"I've been looking all over Ponyville for you, do you have a few minutes to talk?" Scootaloo asked.
Rainbow Dash stood up and stretched before flying down to land beside Scootaloo. "Oh, sure thing, sorry about that, I was taking a little nap. I was just over at the Apple farm giving Big Mac a workou...err, I mean working out in the field with Big Mac." Rainbow Dash's smile turned into a somewhat cocky grin. At least she'd caught herself before she said too much.
"Wow, I would never have expected you to do farm chores," Scootaloo said in surprise.
"It's, ah, kinda a recent thing. So what can I help with, Scoots?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Well, I wanted to ask you about the birds and the bees," Scootaloo replied.
Rainbow Dash's grin slipped a bit, her expression becoming a bit guarded. "Did Applejack put you up to this? I thought I saw her poking her head around the barn."
Scootaloo shook her head. "No, I haven't seen Applejack all day. The only other pony I've seen is Fluttershy and she recommended that I talk to you, which was a little unusual."
Rainbow Dash smirked. "Fluttershy recommended me, did she? That's not surprising, I'm awesome. And if Shy would let me, I would totally hit that."
Scootaloo blinked. Why would Rainbow Dash hurt Fluttershy? "You'd hit her?"
Rainbow Dash tilted her head and stared at Scootaloo, before her face broke out in a grin again. "I can see why we need to have this talk, Squirt. No, I wouldn't really hit Fluttershy, I meant that I gladly take her for a roll in the hay."
Scootaloo frowned a little. "OK, but I don't see how wrestling is that different."
Rainbow Dash shook her head and chuckled. "No, no...OK, I can see we're going to have to start slower. So, why the sudden interest in the birds and the bees? I mean, I get being curious, but I was a bit older than your age when I lost my cherry. I just wonder why now."
"If you lost your cherry, why didn't you go to the market and get another?" Scootaloo asked.
Rainbow Dash put her forehooves to her sides to try and stifle the giggles. "You're killing me, Scoots, really."
"Well, it's for school. Miss Cheerilee said we have to write a paper on something natural. In fact, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle and I are all working on the same thing," Scootaloo explained.
"Whoa, for school? If I had assignments like this back when I was in class, I think I'd have paid more attention." Rainbow Dash quipped. "I'm not too keen on writing papers, that's more egghead stuff. I prefer more show and tell."
"I guess so, I'm just really glad we only have to write about it and not do an oral presentation." Scootaloo said.
"Hey, don't knock oral things until you tried it," Rainbow Dash said with a wink.
"So, Rainbow, can I ask you why Fluttershy suggested I talk to you? No offense, but I would think she would have been excited to teach me. Instead she just seemed to get really upset," Scootaloo asked curiously.
"I really don't think this is the kind of thing Fluttershy would want to talk to anypony about." Rainbow Dash paused to think a moment. "Hmm, I guess it's because this one time, at flight camp..." Rainbow Dash said, reminiscing. "She kinda walked in on me and two colts. I think she couldn't speak for a day after that. So yeah, I can see why she steered you my way."
Scootaloo thought about that. "So what were you and the colts doing? Working on some sort of nature study?"
Rainbow Dash couldn't help but laugh a little at that one. "Well, that's one way of putting it I suppose. More like I was being the Rainbow filling of a pony sandwich." Seeing that Scootaloo still hadn't gotten it, Rainbow said, "Doing the horizontal bop? One was finding the pot of gold at the end of the Rainbow while I was..." Rainbow's voice trailed off.
"OK, enough beating around the bush. We were fooling around." Rainbow said, throwing up her hooves in exasperation.
"Oh!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "Why didn't you say that?"
"I did, in a manner of speaking," Rainbow Dash countered. "But enough about my conquests, what do you need from me to help you with your homework?"
"Well, I was wondering when we were going to get to talk about birds and bees," Scootaloo answered.
"We have been, sort of," Rainbow Dash said. "Though I guess if you have to write a paper for school about it, you probably will want to use all the proper terms and descriptions and such."
Scootaloo tried her best to conceal her confusion. She hadn't heard one thing about a bird or bee that she could use on her report. Maybe Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle had better luck with their own efforts. Scootaloo decided that it was probably best to not drag this out any further. "Yeah, I'm sure I'll have to fill in the blanks with all of that." Scootaloo said, trying to sound appreciative. "Thanks for taking the time, Rainbow Dash, I should probably go see how Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom are doing."
Rainbow Dash nodded with a smile. "Suit yourself, but if you have more questions, don't hesitate to look me up." Rainbow Dash flapped her wings, hovering up in the air. "I think I'll go check on Fluttershy and make sure she's doing alright. Take care, Scoots!" Rainbow Dash flew off in the direction of Fluttershy's cottage.
"Ugh, my head hurts," Scootaloo grumbled to herself, putting her helmet back on. She was starting to think they should have done a report on butterflies instead. Mounting her scooter, Scootaloo set off down the road again towards Sweet Apple Acres.
Oh my GOD Rainbow's storm of euphemisms...I died laughing. "Pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?"
Oh gods! And Rainbow COMPLETELY misses any cues that Scoot has no idea what she's talking about. Hilarious!
.... Wow.... Rainbow's a bit of a whore, huh? I mean, damn! Maybe I'm wrong about the ages but Scoots seems like she can't possibly be more then, like, twelve! And if Rainbow was about her age...
Maybe I shouldn't judge, I mean, I had my first sexual encounter ( not sex, just... Let's go with 'heavy petting' I suppose) by the time I was in third grade... It wasn't great... I'm getting side tracked. And have completely lost my train of thought! So, why am I still typing? I'm going to stop now.
Whoa, Rainbow lost her virginity at Scootaloo's age?! That's a bit young ain't it? Oh well.
3548122 Yeah that pot of gold line was fantastic.
Lost her virginity at that young age?
...
...
...
so RD puts out eh
That's a characterization of Dashie I haven't seen before. I like it. It totally fits her personallity.
This RD would get along smashingly with Cloud Kicker.
3548329
Don't use "Smashingly" in a sentence with RD and CK. >.>;
______________
Anyway, RD's non-sexual vocabulary in this seems... beyond her ken. RD's known for using simple speech rather than appropriate highbrow words.
And that's how Sweet Apple Massacre was made!
3548388 "They'd get along bangingly" just doesn't have the same ring to it, though.
We're done here.
25.media.tumblr.com/7d1f8cf112bf2f589c9b6b1b53ed2029/tumblr_mowjwsq0xQ1snfsquo1_400.gif
I've gone back and edited the age issue, hopefully this re-wording works better.
'Lost her cherry?' I really bust a gut.
Have the words Penal Code in the story.
3548512
It was funny, and to be honest, I was looking for an excuse to use that gif.
Rainbow Dash and Jiraiya-sama would get along well...
i425.photobucket.com/albums/pp340/_Hebi-and-Tori_/Naruto/Sannin/Jiraya/ero-sennin.jpg
3548587 I am totally stealing that picture. God I dont even want to think about what Jiraiya would do in Equestria, although I think I have a few ideas.
This chapter, summarized in emoticons:
Don't worry, Scoots. Someday, you'll look back on this conversation and laugh. And/or die of embarrassment. Depends on how old you'll be when reminiscing.
Oh Gods, I lost it on this one, I could honestly see Rainbow bluntly talking about this to the yuong filly and Rainbow not knowing what she meant, now this was good humor here. Can't wait for more
3548649 I expect clopfics about the subject ASAP!!
Me during most of the chapter.
Looks like Scootaloo dodged a bullet.
SAY FUCKING
I laughed so hard I woke my roommate up.
3548952
>Obvious sex reference, "if you know what I mean"
Well considering what scoots and dash were talking about mabey saying that she 'mounted' her scooter is not a clever choice of words *wink*
3548162 not really, people lose it younger nowadays...
3548156
Not a whore, just sexually active. There's no problem with that, is there?
This entire fic is about double entendres, and I'm loving every second of it. Now for Pinkie to actually talk about birds and bees, and how eggs and honey make such great ingredients, and how tasty her newest cream pie is.
3550742
Don't forget about how bananas can stir things up.
3550704
If you gotta cock in you by the time you are ENTERING puberty and you weren't raped, you're a whore!
3550868
No.
Just no.
NO.
Words other than no can't describe how much NO your statement should get.
*sigh* I can only guess at what Dash would have done if she used her method of show and tell to teach Scoots about the birds and the bees
Oh, look! A sexually promiscuous Dash. I can see the author worked extremely hard to come up that ingenious, in-character, completely developed personality of the virtuous Element of Loyalty known as Rainbow Dash. Well done writer, well done.
3550899
... I don't understand why I get so much no. Explain please.
For a moment I thought that she's gonna bring Big Mac for a little presentation...
3550799
If you let Pinkie talk long enough, everything comes full circle.
3551018
I am sick and tired of this culture of "slut shaming". The overuse of the word whore, not to mention as a negative epithet, is something that I find ti be despicable. The idea that a young, curious, woman would have consensual sex. I'm not saying I would have sex with a young woman, one who just entered puberty, but that's me.
I also wouldn't have sex with a 60 year old woman either.
Did you know that two hundred years ago, it was perfectly natural for a woman to have sex shortly after she entered puberty? It was a cultural thing.
Now we, in the US, have placed some negative stigma on sex in general. It's kind of sad and pathetic when we're in a society where violence is perfectly alright (for example, scootabuse happens on this site regularly), but the instant sex happens we throw around the same, tired, insults. It gets frustrating.
3550868
I disagree. And that is all I am going to say.
3551315
Yeah and two hundred years ago blacks were property and women couldn't vote. Leave the past in the past. We have new morals now.
3551319
Fair enough. Just sayin Scoots can't be farther then fifth grade and it seems weird.
3551337
Are you seriously comparing slavery and the oppression of women with a woman being curious about her body?
3551428
No I'm saying a ten-to-twelve year old girl is NOT a women, even in the old days when the age of sexual consent was younger. Besides even when it was acceptable for much younger women to partake in such things, it was frowned upon to be that promiscus. I don't mind if a women has multiple partners , I mind when a girl decides to have multiple partners while in late elementary school or early middle school.
It would have been funny if rainbow had no idea what the birds and bees meant and instead told scootaloo the literal meaning. Overall, keep at it.
3551140
Sweet.
I've never been a fan of such version of Rainbow Dash.
Something about it feels very very off and out of character.
And it's not exactly absent in the show. There she has absolutely no interest in romance I can't picture her chasing after boys at all. She probably still thinks it's for ponies like Rarity.
Well she's been maturing lately so maybe one day, with that one very special, considering all that 'loyalty' thing.
Just a little thing that bugs me. I think there are better ponies to show such characteristics. Even Rarity. I always pictured them as sharing similar hedonistic tendencies only displaying them in different manner.
3551499
The sad thing is we wouldn't even be having this discussion, and I use the term lightly, if this was Spike instead of Rainbow.
3552204
You know I've been thinking and we shouldn't have had this argument in the first place. The fact is we have differing opinions, we should accept that and move on. After all, love and tolerate, right?
3552244
Love and tolerate. ::hug::
3552309
Yay, hugs! ::hugs::
Although, I must apologize. I'm very sorry if my comment about Rainbows'... Experience, offended you... Blurg I hate that word... But none the less I'm glad we agreed not to argue!