• Member Since 29th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Scipio Smith


E

This story is a sequel to Vengeance of Dawn


Co-created by SirViper235

Sunset Shimmer has returned, having travelled between worlds and crossed the dark spaces between dimensions to emerge changed, both more and less than a pony. Driven by a dream of impending doom, she sets out to unite the races of the world, heedless of the destruction that she would bring upon the world in the name of saving it. With the support of the proud zebras of Grevyia she launches an assault upon Equestria that will bring down the princesses and shake the peaceful land to its foundations. Using the power of the ancient Labyrinth Box, she imprisons the four mages who alone can threaten her: Twilight Sparkle, Breaking Dawn, Trixie and Chrysalis the Changeling. Now these former foes must work together to recover their true identities and escape the terrors of their enchanted prison.

With Twilight missing, Applejack and Pinkie Pie enslaved and Canterlot taken, Rarity must take up the mantle of leadership as Regent of Equestria, while Fluttershy braves dragons, deer and griffons in her quest for allies. And, as Sunset's tyranny grows ever more cruel, it falls upon the slender shoulders of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to be the salvation of Equestria.

Update 24/11/2013: The Albinocorn and Starlight Nova have become pre-readers for this story. Many thanks to them as the grammar makes an immediate improvement.

Cover art by Dotterall

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 175 )

That description. Cannot get. More EPIC!

I am looking forward to the CMC's role in this.

The description sounds awfully grimdark. :twilightoops:

And we smash through the starting gate with rainboom!

*Clears throat* Squee! I shall now turn over my stallion card to any who would say that squeeing over a sequal to a favorite story is not manly behavior.

Great beginning, several laugh out loud moments.

Now to see what my favorite pony is capable of in your hands. Sunset Shimmer, don't disappoint me, love.

So you are bringing Breaking Dawn back? Wasn't she fatally wounded and turned to stone?
Mind you, I liked BD, so I am glad that she is coming back.

Their coming home at noon today?

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I won't lie and say that this story won't have some dark moments, but overall this will be a lighter story than Vengeance because, while that was about railing futilely against fate, this fic is much more about making the best of the hand you've been dealt, which is a more hopeful theme in and of itself.

A large painting, entitled Frigid Winds and Burning Hearts, hung on one wall of the museum gallery. It was labelled an 'artistic interpretation' of the defeat of Nightmare Moon, from some three hundred years after the event itself

Reference detected. :twistnerd:
One of my favorite fics, even after all these years.

I hope that nobody is bothered too much by that

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/577/890/803.jpg

"I see myself as somepony who could rule Equestria", said with Equestria´s actual ruler at her side.
:facehoof::facehoof: who is more incompetent, the pupil or the teacher?
Believe me, we dont´t. I prefer by far this darker and edgier Sunset rather than the original aka "Darth Sharpay"

Dude, I've seen the movie and you've seen my Sunset Shimmer. Screw canon, do what you want!

Celestia has a problem with personal students...

Kind of miffed the mane6 are going to be sideshowed for the CMC; they never stand up well as a trio (though solo they're not bad protagonists). Plus the mane six are the characters that make the setting for me.

Villains look pretty interesting, though. Interplanar armies are cool.

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I'm kind of the opposite: I like them better as a group than as individuals, especially since Family Appreciation Day.

The Mane Six won't be completely sidelined, Fluttershy gets the 5th Character slot after all, they just won't be doing the hero stuff. At least not at first.

jeez I already hate Sunset Shimmer more than Breaking Dawn, and that has nothing to do with the god awful movie

Breaking Dawn's redeeming quality was being dead.

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For some reason your comment makes me chuckle:pinkiehappy:

3132344 That was my intention. :moustache:

So different now from what it seemed.
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

This chapter was all sad n stuff.
Also, I like dawn, she's just another per- pony. She just takes situations different... Albiet extreme in execution, but different.

Annoying? I kinda like Virtue.

Yeah he was a bit annoying. I think it's how he talks.

I don't understand that last sentence. Felt about attacking?

I liked The Prince, though its been so long since I read it. Pretty short, if I remember right.

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Thank you, that should have read 'felt good about attacking it'.

I actually quite like the slightly stilted, formal manner of talking, what I don't like about him is that he's such a patronising ass (look at what he has to say about Twilight).

Yes, the Prince is pretty short, but I can't say I liked it too much. Though then again, other books I didn't like when I had to read them for university I liked better when I read them again later so who can say.

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I read it in High School, so that probably helped.

I don't mind his personality THAT much. It's just who he is. I guess I always judge characters about how big of an "ORIGINAL CHARACTER, DO NOT STEAL" sign is over them, so as long as the character feels like a genuine character and not an insert they can be as obnoxious/smug as they like (though that certain makes me hope for them getting whats coming to them sooner or later).

She was actually very smart to take out Chrysalis as well. without the changelings in the way of her plans are at acceptable safety levels.:twilightsmile:

And now things get really interesting! Sunset Shimmer, you are an evil, manipulative demon and I love you. :heart:

Compulsions are so damn creepy. Also kind of annoying that they always work.

So...
Twi = the princess
Chrysalis = the queen
Trixie = the wizard
Um...... Breaking dawn = the knight because at the end of the other fanfic (SPOILER ALERT I guess) Celestia knighted her?

Well Sunset did say it was a land of fear and nightmares, so Twilight acting what she fears to become makes sense. And I think the Equestria Girls thing would have hilarious.

A warped fantasy and warped delusions. I'm actually interested to see the full story of what happened in this world. But I'm more curious as to how they're going to get out of this. This is a pretty ingenious trap.

Could you, and this is just a suggestion, add more bucking detail to the bucking chapter?

The box makes them the opposit or worst of who they were before they entered in the time they are within it. I can't wait to see how some other pony manages to get the box open to free them.:twilightsmile:

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We know Trixie is usually obsessed with attention and fame, but why inside the box does she crave for magic?

3258239 because she has little to none to speak of for herself:twilightsmile:

I rather enjoyed this chapter and am exited to read more, good Job. :moustache:

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Yeah, its the biggest reach, but I was thinking more in terms of her being a bit of a brawler; plus the invented backstory fits with her guilt.

Besides, you can't pastiche Arthurian stuff without knights somewhere.

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And Trixie is the party´s main spellcaster? :trixieshiftright:

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Except that magic is gone from the world so nopony is going to be tossing magic around.

I don't mind the strange personality changes; presumably part of the solution involves restoring their altered personalities.

You sure missed an awesome chance to go all Alice in Wonderland though.

I hope the box progresses quickly; it's interesting but I don't think I'd enjoy the four being not themselves for 70% of the story, especially if it alternates with real world chapters.

The Red guy felt kind of out of nowhere.

"Is that what you think this is? That I want to bully everypony like I used to? You really think I'm so pathetic that I'd raise an army just so I could relive the glory days, I'm insulted!" Sunset Shimmer said, looking it too. "The truth is, Lyra, I've moved on since then.

Said moments before bullying an entire town.

Sunset Shimmer really should have paid more attention to Trixie. She conquered Ponyville more thouroughly with a lot less effort. :trixieshiftright:

We won't ever turn our backs on the princesses. Long live Twilight! Long live Luna!"

What happened to Celestia? :rainbowhuh:

Anyway, good chapter. I can't wait to see Sunset does to Virtuous Fury when she finds out he let Fluttershy get away.

And good job, Lyra. You tried. Gold star for trying.

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If read From the Outside In, you'll see that Red has a special connection to Luna, who first took pity on him when he was a human, persuaded Celestia to rescue him from the brink of death and ponify him, then gave him a weapon to defend the town. Not that he doesn't like Celestia, but Luna is his favourite (doesn't hurt that he was a moon-worshipping Druid as a human). Twilight gets the mention instead of Celestia because in his own canon he is dating her.

Nice job. You did great, and I like the development of plot you are building.

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Plugging me again I see my friend. You keep doing that and I swear imma turn as red as the aforementioned pegasus.

Virtuous Fury is cool, and it's obvious he'll switch sides at some point which is great. Rainbow Dash was surprisingly proficient in this chapter, the fandom always seems to have her fluctuating between lazy and badass. Finally that whole 'Twilight died trying to save herself' thing could not have been more lifted from harry potter

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