Comes the Sunset

by Scipio Smith

Let's Be Honest

Chapter 15

Let's Be Honest

It was raining in the forest. Breaking Dawn was especially glad that they were following a paved road. She imagined that the woods on either side were probably turned to mire, so much rain was descending upon them. Most likely if they left the path they would swiftly drown in mud, regardless of any magical consequences.

The four trudged wearily down the road, the trees looming overhead doing nothing whatsoever to stop the raindrops from falling on their heads. They all wore the cloaks that Kindness had given to them, with the hoods up, but they weren't doing much to keep them dry either, and the sodden wool was sticking to their coats.

Something roared off to their left, making Dawn start a little. She was very glad to be walking at the back of the column so that none of the rest could see how jumpy she was.

Then she heard another sound that sounded like someone or something behind them, and being at the back didn't seem like such a treat any more.

Dawn paused for a moment, half turning to check what might lie behind. She could see nothing but the road, and the dim lights of the Town of Flaws behind.

That was tempting, now more than ever. In her mind Dawn imagined an inn with a cosy fire, warm beds, cider on tap. Somepony playing the piano, a good tune that could be sung too. At this point, with the darkness all around and the rain pouring down and who knew what lurking just out of sight, it was a sore temptation indeed to a tired mare.

"Dawn?" Twilight called from the front of the column. "Dawn, is something wrong?"

Is something wrong? Yes, something's wrong! Everything's wrong! Dawn wanted to shout. But all she said was, "No, nothing. I thought I heard something but I didn't. I'm coming now." She hurried a little to catch up with the others, wondering if they were all tempted to take shelter in the town, or whether it was just her. Her weakness. Her failings.

Am I just less than them?

She very much hoped not. Dawn wasn't sure she could have stood being less than Trixie.

"If we must endure more temptations then I hope the next one arrives soon," Chrysalis said. "At least we might get a roof over our heads for the night for our trouble."

Dawn smiled inwardly. Good to know I'm not the only one who feels that way.

More sounds were emerging out of the woods. Roars and growls and snarls. They were coming from both sides, and ahead and behind too if Dawn was any judge. The four travellers halted, peering outwards into a darkness made all the more impenetrable by the torrential rain, trying to get some sight of what might be out there, even though they had not a clue what they would do if they did see anything.

"This doesn't sound good," Trixie murmured.

"What do you think they are?" Chrysalis asked.

"Lions and tigers and bears?" Twilight suggested.

"Thanks, Twilight, you always know just what to say," Dawn muttered.

They formed a rough circle, facing outwards, crouched half-down, ready - or as ready as they could be - for anything that might spring out of the woods in a mess of teeth and claws. Somepony's knees were knocking. Dawn didn't ask who it was, in case it turned out to be her.

And then, all of a sudden, the roaring and the growling stopped, to be replaced by the clip clop sound of hooves coming down the road towards them.

"Hey there! You guys need any help?"

Dawn's eyes widened and she let out a gasp as her eyes travelled to the source of the call. Standing there, on the road, her mane drenched with rain, her scraggly red and white locks hanging down stuck to her coat, stood Breaking Dawn's younger self.

Or at least, that was what Dawn thought she looked like. She couldn't remember her childhood, but how could it be anyone else? She had the same red and white mane, the same golden coat, the same green eyes. She didn't have a cutie mark that Dawn could see, but Dawn guessed that she hadn't had one for her whole life. Young Dawn, or whatever the filly's name was, stood with her legs spread wide apart, as though she was trying to make herself look bigger than she really was, with an eager look on her face and a glint in her eye despite the torrential downpour and general misery of their circumstances.

"You're the new travellers, aren't you?" she asked. "I heard what happened to Loyalty, I bet you could use a guide. I can show you the way."

Dawn leaned in a little towards Twilight. "Is anypony else seeing a younger version of themselves."

Twilight looked at her as though she was mad. "No. I can see a baby dragon. A male baby dragon."

Dawn frowned. "A baby dragon?"

Twilight nodded. "With purple scales and green spines."

"Trixie can see a pony, but it isn't Trixie," Trixie said. "She has an amber coat, and a mane like fire. And she isn't a filly, she's our age."

"I see a changeling," Chrysalis remarked, her voice languid, almost bored. "A tall changeling in armour. Doubtless my vision is no more real than any of yours."

"Talking about somepony behind their back is rude, you know," the filly said.

"So is not introducing yourself," Dawn snapped.

"My name's Courage," she said proudly, tilting her head upwards to make her pride more apparent. "Now, do you want me to guide you through the woods or not?"

"That's very kind of you, Courage," Twilight said softly. "But I'm sure we can manage to follow the road. We wouldn't want to put you in danger."

"I'm not afraid!" Courage shouted. "I'm not scared of anything or anyone."

Something roared from out of the woods, causing Trixie to whimper in fear.

Courage laughed. "I'm less scared than you are, I'll bet. I told you, I can keep you safe. I'm not scared of anything, but everything around here is scared of me."

"Because you're just that awesome, I bet," Dawn muttered. I sincerely hope I'm not going to have to remember that I was an annoying blowhard when I was young, that would be appalling.

"No," Courage said. "But I am fierce, and dangerous. So do you want my help or not?"

Dawn looked at Twilight, then at Trixie, then at Chrysalis.

"Keep the lions and bears off us while we talk about it, okay?" Dawn said.

The three ponies and the changeling queen turned inwards, like sports players huddling before they made the big play.

"I don't think we should let her come with us," Twilight said. "Not after what happened to Loyalty. We might not be so lucky next time."

"Yes, next time it could be one of us," Chrysalis said dryly.

"How can you say something like that?" Twilight demanded. "Loyalty could have been killed."

"But she wasn't," Chrysalis replied. "And neither were we, thanks to her."

"Trixie would like somepony who knows the way to go with us," Trixie murmured nervously. "Trixie doesn't mind admitting that she's scared."

"I do, but I'll confess to it all the same," Dawn said. "Don't tell me you two aren't as well."

"He's a baby," Twilight said.

"In your eyes," Chrysalis replied. "To mine he is a fully grown warrior. I do not fear for him."

"But I do," Twilight said firmly. "Whether he, or she, is what we see him as, there is no reason to think that Courage is any more capable of defending us than we are capable of defending ourselves."

"She could hardly do worse," Dawn replied.

Twilight looked at her. "You see her as a filly, how come putting a child in danger doesn't bother you at all."

"Being a child doesn't mean you have to be swaddled," Dawn said. "Besides, she's willing to bear the risks and share the dangers. Pardon me, but that's more than any one of us can say. And if it does get too dangerous, we can always get rid of her later. Right now, I could use some cheerful company."

Twilight sighed. "I don't like this. Not at all. But if all three of you are set on this."

"We are," Chrysalis replied, her tone firm and inexorable.

Twilight pursed her lips, and sighed again, before she turned around and said, "Courage, we have decided to accept your gracious offer."

"Yes!" Courage said. "You won't regret this, I promise. This is going to be great. Follow me, it's this way."

"What is, precisely?" Chrysalis asked.

"The bridge of Honesty!"

---

Courage led the way and Twilight followed; the rain was easing up a little, or else the thick canopy of tree branches intertwining above them was keeping the worst of the rain from falling upon the heads of Twilight and her companions. It wasn't making them any dryer, however.

"So, Courage," Twilight said. "What is this Bridge of Honesty, anyway?"

The little dragon, or at least Twilight perceived him so, glanced behind him while walking down the road. "Well, it's a bridge, and Honesty guards it."

"Gee, thanks, that was a very helpful response," Dawn muttered.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry about Dawn. She can be a little bit cranky."

"With good reason," Dawn snapped. "I may not remember what all my reasons are, but I'm sure that they were good ones."

"The alternative would be that you are wrong, of course, and we couldn't have that, could we?" Chrysalis asked, a degree of wry amusement creeping into her voice.

"I have good reasons," Dawn said loudly. "Look at me, I'm more sponge than pony right now."

"So are we all," Chrysalis said. "You don't hear us complaining about it."

"I suppose you expect to be praised for your forbearance?"

"Can we all stop fighting?" Twilight demanded. "I thought we were getting better about this?"

"That was before we were cold and wet and hungry," Dawn said. Her stomach growled to emphasise the point. "Hey, Courage, is this Honesty going to put us up at this bridge of hers?"

Courage chuckled. "You'll have enough trouble getting across the bridge without expecting her to feed you or anything like that."

Twilight's eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why won't she let us across the bridge?"

Courage said nothing for a few moments. "Perhaps I said that wrong. It's not that she won't let you across. It's more that...a lot of people don't want to cross. Or can't. There's a toll, you see, and lots of folks won't pay."

"A toll?" Trixie asked. "But we don't have any...whatever it is you pay tolls with. Trixie can't remember what that's called. Shiny things."

"That's not the kind of toll that Honesty charges," Courage said.

"Then what is it?" Dawn demanded. "Secrets?"

"Not exactly."

Dawn snorted. "Stop playing coy, you little squirt, and give us an honest answer. What's the toll?"

"Use of your ears," Courage said.

---

Courage brought them down the road, and as he had promised he brought them there uninterrupted and unchallenged by any of the beasts that might live in the forest. It seemed that the little dragon - or the little mare, if Dawn was right, or the changeling warrior as Chrysalis saw him - really did scare off everything that might have wanted to hurt the four travellers.

He led them to a narrow wooden bridge, only wide enough for a single pony at a time to cross, with trees on either side growing so thickly all about that any attempt to fly over would have been folly: for the branches reached for one another over the road like intertwining hands and interlocking fingers grasping at one another, forming a ceiling overhead, while above them Twilight could just make out even more tree branches with long, sharp twigs sticking out to snag the flyer who did manage to make it past the initial canopy.

No, it seemed the bridge was the only way to get across the slow, sludge-like black river that snaked its way through the forest. Certainly Twilight didn't like the idea of going into that water. If it was water.

Standing on the bridge, a quarterstaff held in one hoof, was a pony who must be Honesty. She was a tan earth pony mare, with a flaxen mane tied back in twin ponytails and a crumpled brown hat set upon her head. Her eyes were green, and Twilight had the impression of great perception in them. It made her want to turn away.

"Howdy, partner," Honesty said as Courage trotted up to her. "How are things?"

"Oh, just fine, you know," Courage said. "I've said that I'll show these travellers the way."

"Well, don't be getting yourself hurt now," Honesty replied. "Being brave doesn't make you invincible."

"Come on, Honesty, you know I don't have anything to worry about," Courage said. "Not if I can get across the bridge anyway."

Honesty smiled genially as she stepped back onto the far back and sidestepped off the road. Courage crossed quickly, turning to wait for the others on the far side of the road.

"What about the toll?" Twilight asked.

"Courage here doesn't have to pay it," Honesty said, advancing back onto the bridge to once more bar the crossing.

"But we do?" Dawn demanded.

"Eeyup," Honesty said.

Dawn's face contorted with outrage. "That...is no more unfair that anything else in this place, so I'm not sure why I'm surprised."
"Trixie is more concerned with what the price is," Trixie said. "What if we can't pay?"

"Everyone can pay," Honesty said. "Has anyone told you any different."

"Courage did," Chrysalis muttered.

A quick smile flashed across Honesty's face. "Courage gets a little confused about how this works, so I'll lay it all out for y'all. The toll is simple. I have to tell you about yourselves. I can see you, better than you can see yourselves right now, although one of you got given something by Generosity that might make than less true than normal, isn't that right Breaking Dawn?"

Dawn scowled. "I...I haven't looked into the mirror yet."

"No," Honesty said. "You wouldn't have, would you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dawn demanded.

"Nothing but what I said," Honesty said casually. "Now, not everyone can stand to be told what they really are. Not everyone can listen to the truth. Not everyone wants to be spoken to with honesty. So some of them choose not to pay the toll."

"And if we don't pay?" Chrysalis asked.

Honesty shrugged. "The Town of Flaws is back that way. Or you're welcome to stay here, if you want too, though it will probably get boring for you."

"And there's no other way to cross the river?" Twilight asked. "What about swimming?"

"Some fellow tried that a while back," Honesty said. "He still hasn't woken up yet, and it's been quite a while."

Twilight scuttled to the edge of the road, and she could just about make out a zebra slumbering on the far bank of the river, lying on his back with his legs in the air, snoring.

"At least he looks like he's having pleasant dreams," Twilight offered weakly.

"Maybe," Honesty said. "I don't think you really want to dream, though, do you?"

"I want my memories back," Twilight said. "I want to get out of this forest. I want to find out what I'm doing here."

"Then there's only one way," Honesty said, gentle but inexorable at the same time.

Twilight hesitated. She knew instinctively what she could also have inferred from the context, that what Honesty would say to her was unlikely to be pleasant. More than likely it would dwell on her flaws, whether she could remember them or not. It was very tempting to tell her no, to turn away, to close her ears to truth, to hide in self-told lies.

But she wanted to know the truth. She wanted to know who she really was, what she was really doing here, what was really going on. She wanted to know as much as she could, about everything. Even herself.

And that would mean listening to Honesty. Besides, if past experience was any guide to light the way then she would get some of her memories back just from embracing this challenge, and that was no small thing.

Twilight looked back at her fellow travellers. Trixie looked nervous, Dawn looked positively wretched, Chrysalis looked uncertain.

"I'm sorry," Twilight said. "But even if none of the rest of you can face this, I can...and I will. I have to know, even if I'm alone."

She stepped up to the edge of the bridge. "Tell me about myself," she said. "I'm not afraid."

Honesty smiled warmly. "Come on, now, sugarcube, we both know that that ain't entirely so. There's no shame in that. Everypony gets a little nervous at the thought of what they really are. If you didn't, well then, you'd be no more real than me when all's said and done now, would you?"

Twilight managed a smile. "I guess not."

"You're not a bad pony, Twilight, not at all. You're smart, very smart, and talented too. And a leader. But..."

Twilight's smile widened a little. "Here it comes, doesn't it?"

"You care too much about what others think about you," Honesty said.

"No I don't," Twilight said.

"Yes you do," Honesty said. "You get all bent out of shape at the thought that someone you want to approve of you might not like every little thing that you do, you can't stop imagining all manner of ridiculous consequences, and the things that you do to avoid those wild things you think of are worse than anything that might have happened otherwise. You can come up with a good plan, but you can't let it rest. You just keep picking at it and picking at it, finding more problems one after another, it's never good enough because it has to be perfect. But there is no such thing as perfect, not in the real world anyway, and sometimes you have to accept that 'good enough' is the best that you're gonna get.
"And that's without getting into the way that, even though you want everypony who matters to agree with you, you still go around thinking that you know best even when you really don't. That can get a little annoying sometimes."

Twilight chuckled. "Yes, I know, Applejack, I'm sorry." She stopped, a gasp emanating from her lips. She remembered. She remembered apple trees and inviting smells coming out of the kitchen and cider season and...and a good, honest pony and a true friend.

"Applejack," Twilight repeated.

Honesty set her hat back on her head. "Not really, I'm afraid. Keep on going and I'm sure you'll see her again, though. And you can keep on going. Come on, sugarcube." She stepped aside, and let Twilight cross the bridge.

"Good job, Twilight," Courage said.

Twilight looked at him. "How come I don't remember you as well."

Courage shrugged. "You haven't shown that you deserve it yet."

Honesty tapped her quarterstaff on the bridge. "Who's next? Anypony?"

Dawn twitched, but otherwise made no sound or movement. Instead, somewhat to Twilight's surprise, Trixie stepped forward.

"Trixie admits that she's scared," Trixie murmured. "But...but if Twilight can do it then so can Trixie! Tell Trixie what she is, go on!"

Honesty hesitated for a moment. "Trixie is... it ain't so much what Trixie is, it's what Trixie wants to be: the hero. That's what you want to be, isn't it? But, I'm sad to say, it isn't going to happen. And you know that, don't you? You're not strong enough, you're not brave enough."

"Trixie could be," Trixie said.

"But you're not," Honesty said, her voice implacable. "That's why you have to lie about it, to tell others, to tell yourself, that you're so great and powerful, that you've done so many amazing things, that you're famous far and wide. Because you know that you're not, and you know that."

"Don't say that!" Twilight cried. "Whatever she might be now, who's to say that a pony can't change themselves for the better? You may think that you're being honest, but that kind of honesty is why some ponies prefer lies to truth? Even if Trixie isn't a hero now, are you really saying that she can never be one? You can't possibly know that, so it isn't honest at all."

Honesty was silent for a moment. "You know, I guess Twilight has a point there. So maybe it's time to ask you a question, Trixie? Do you think you can change? Do you think you can become the pony that you want to be?"

Trixie was silent for a moment, looking down at her hooves. "I want to," she whispered. "But I don't know if I can."

"And that," Honesty said. "Was the honest answer." She stepped aside, to let Trixie cross the little wooden bridge.

"Do you really think I can become a better pony?" Trixie asked as she joined Twilight.

"Why shouldn't you?" Twilight replied.

Trixie shuffled her hooves. "Trixie does tell a lot of lies. Trixie thinks she remembered one of the things that you've forgiven Trixie for."

"It wasn't too awful, was it?" Twilight asked.

"It involves an Ursa Minor and two colts..."

Chrysalis was the next to step up to the bridge. "Go on then, since you are such a wise pony, who am I?"

"Cruel and callous," Honesty said.

Chrysalis stared at her for a moment. "Don't be ridiculous."

"You calling me a liar?"

"Yes," Chrysalis said. "I'm not without feelings. I care for others. I even care for these three idiots...a little."

"But you'd leave them behind to get home, rather than stay here with them, wouldn't you?"

"Any one of us would do the same."

"Do you really believe that?"

Chrysalis scowled. "That makes me selfish, not cruel."

Honesty laughed. "Now you're just splitting hairs, aren't you?"

"I do what I must," Chrysalis snapped. "I am a queen, that much I recall, that means that I have subjects to whom I must return. Should I be more loyal to these three than to them."

"Except you can be hard on those subjects too, I'll bet," Honesty said. "Order them into battle, send them to get hurt. Order them punished. I can see you doing all those things, and not letting it get to you at all."

"I am a queen!" Chrysalis roared. "I am what a queen must be! Cruel, at times, callous, on occasion, hard, always. You call these vices because you have no idea of what it is I do. I must be cruel because the world is cruel, I must be callous because nature is just as bad, I must be hard because I am a shield for my subjects. I have to protect them, and I cannot do it by always being nice.
"Insult me if you like, but never say that I do not do what I must." Chrysalis strode across the bridge, and gave Twilight a disdainful glance before pointedly not joining Twilight and Trixie.

"What's the matter with Chrysalis, do you think?" Trixie asked.

"I'm not quite sure," Twilight murmured. "But perhaps we were better off before she remembered whatever has just come back to her."

Only Dawn was left on the far side of the bridge now, half turned away from Honesty, head down, eyes half hooded.

"Are you coming?" Honesty asked.

Dawn looked at her. "I'm beginning to think the sleeping zebra has it better than I'll have it if I do."

"Are you scared?" Courage asked.

To Twilight the question had sounded plaintive, but in addition to seeing Courage differently her tone must have sounded different because it seemed to make Dawn angry. She bared her teeth and stamped her hoof. "Watch your mouth! Just because you look like me doesn't that I won't-"

"You won't do anything from the wrong side of the river," Courage pointed out.

Dawn growled wordlessly.

"What are you so afraid of?" Twilight said.

"What do you think?" Dawn yelled. She growled, then stalked forwards. "But I won't have any of you say I didn't have the guts to go through with it. Go on! Get it over with!"

Honesty regarded Dawn levelly. "Okay. You're not stupid, but you do a good job of acting like it sometimes."

Spittle flew from Dawn's mouth. "You-"

"Not to mention all the times when you're just plain lazy."

Dawn's hoof slammed into the ground. "When I want to make an effort I can be a fount of energy."

"Thank you for proving her point," Chrysalis muttered.

"You think that you deserve absolutely everything and nothing is ever your fault, don't you?"

Dawn shoved her face forward so that she was muzzle to muzzle with Honesty. "Why don't you shut your mouth before I slam it closed for you?"

"How about you just tell me I'm wrong?" Honesty replied calmly.

Dawn took a deep breath. Then another. Then another. No denial was forthcoming.

"No," Dawn said. "No, you're not wrong." She took a step back, turned away, then looked at Honesty as a quick grin ghosted across her face. "That's why I keep you around, Hardy, to tell me these things when nopony else will I-" Dawn stopped, her mouth hanging open as she blinked once or twice. "Hardy. Wow, I had a friend whose job was to tell me when I was being stupid or obnoxious. Who would have guessed I'd be that self-aware?"

"Not Trixie."

Dawn gave her a look. "I wasn't actually asking for responses at this point, but thanks."

"The thing to remember," Honesty said. "Is that although you are all of the things I just said, you're not only those things, and you have ponies who love you anyway. So get back to them." Honesty stepped off the bridge and made way for Breaking Dawn. "Good luck. To all of you."

Comments

[Harwick]

I enjoyed this chapter quite a bit... The journey of these four towards remembering who they are is an inventive and rewarding side plot. I do think that Honesty took it easy on Breaking Dawn though... the truth about what she was willing to do to others to soothe her own ego would have been far harder to hear.

[Carnation83]

Good job with Honesty here.