• Member Since 15th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Wednesday

elPossenreisser


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After an argument with Rainbow Dash about the romance plot in the latest Daring Do issue, Twilight Sparkle constructs a machine that allows two ponies to enter a novel, in order to learn more about Rainbow's obsession with pairing Daring Do with her bookish sidekick Rosetta.

Soon, the two find themselves in a Daring Do adventure, with Rainbow taking the name part and Twilight playing Rosetta. As they deal with ancient jungle ruins, mythical artifacts and old adversaries, Twilight is starting to see the appeal of the pairing.

But after all, it is all just fiction, and what happens in a novel has little to do with the real world, right?

Written for the TwiDash Group's Abandoned Fic Challenge.

Rated Teen for some violence, some very tame makeouts, and a slightly inebriated pony.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 216 )

This looks very promising, I can't wait to get around to reading the whole thing!

Just reading through the first chapter, and I'm looking forward to the rest of this! The idea itself is amazing, and I wish I thought of it first.

One thing though, you shouldn't be capitalizing "pegasus," as it's just the name of the species. Pegasus (with a capital P) refers to the Pegasus from Greek mythology. :derpytongue2:

Promising, and the idea behind it all is original. Keep it up please.

Well, you've hooked me on premise alone, and I've definitely been where Dash has after reading a story more times than I'd care to admit. :rainbowlaugh: Nice tension between Twi and Rainbow here, too! Following!

If I had one piece of concrit, I'd suggest looking into just using "said" for dialogue verbs (or nothing at all!) as opposed to billions of synonyms ("replied," "squealed,") for it. Not only will that flow better for your readers... let's face it, keeping track of all those synonyms has to get tiresome. :raritywink:

Looking forward to more!

why is there no more?

Well done. Nice casual transition from Rainbow confusing himself and Daring Do to Twilight catching onto the implications for the romantic plot.

Seeing that the latest comment was posted six minutes ago, I will hold my wrath and fury: for this time...
On a sidenote, I do indeed like the way it progresses. Somehow The actual writing should be more clumsy and dumb, seeing how it is written by rainbow in two days //bwhahaha\\
Just kidding, great writing.
On another sidenote:AT WHAT CHAPTER DOES THIS TURN INTO A FULL BLOWN CLOPFIC BWAAARGH MUST SATISFY NEEDS FOR- urghum. Excuse me. I meant to say:you never read that last sentence.

The German goats made it for me.

Thanks everypony for reading and for the comments and likes! Since this is the first story I've ever shown around outside my closest friends I'm completely overwhelmed :yay: :yay: :yay:

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Thanks, I will fix that. I blame MSWord, for some reason it thinks it has to be a capital 'P' :applejackconfused:

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Aw, and here I'm so proud of having found so many synonyms... personally I really really dislike reading the same word too often in a short piece of text. I will think about reducing it, thanks :twilightsmile:

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There will be; the deadline for the contest is July 13th and I fully intend to meet it.

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Mind you, the logical lucidity generator has probably has probably smoothed out the rougher patches :twilightsheepish: Which last sentence? :derpytongue2:

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Thanks :twilightsmile:

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I fought back the urge to call them goatzis, for meme reasons :pinkiesick:

great work, can't wait for more

Comment posted by HerbertTheHerbalist deleted Jul 10th, 2013

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There will be; the deadline for the contest is July 13th and I fully intend to meet it.

That's like in 3 days?!?! :rainbowhuh:
how can you possible finish this story before that? or do you have it written already and you're just polishing it?
Great work btw, favorited :twilightsmile:

I wonder what happens when they remember that this is Dash's ROMANCE novel made where DARING and ROSETTA get together...

Oooo. Another one for this prompt!

I'm in!

~Skeeter The Lurker

well it sounds like a good plot idea having two ponies go into a story but i see a few problems.:derpytongue2:

1. i don't think you should've used a machine, but rather, a spell. this is because they don't really have machines in equestria. plus spells are more twilights style.

2. maybe you could've had them enter something other than a novel that has romance because i can already see the clop lovers waiting for this to be finished.

that is all

There's a word for a fic like this: fun. Plain and simple, that's the best way I can describe this, and I love it. It's cute, it has fluffy romance, a bit of adventure, and I want more.

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Huh, I actually never even thought about a spell :rainbowderp: But ever since the industrial size blow dryer in Just For Sidekicks, in my head canon Equestria has the potential to be as industrialized as it needs to be for any given situation. I can see your point though.

As for the romance - that's a requirement for the contest. Plus I'm a sucker for romance :twilightsmile: But no clop in this story. Sorry everypony!

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:twilightsmile:

:twilightangry2: that you didn't finish this

Cool cant wait to see what happens next!
:derpytongue2:

oh i see now thanks so much and i think the blow dryer was just a gag that had nothing to do with canon equestria:twilightblush:

Twi, you should've realized that nopony EVER talks about his/her plans out loud in a story. Otherwise it won't work.

You're savior, i was soo bored :rainbowwild:
how many chapters there are approximately left
?

Why are doing this to me

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Three more chapters. We're almost there! :rainbowdetermined2:

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Mostly because I'm a horrible person... :D

This story is ridiculous in all the right ways.

Comment posted by KK MN deleted Jul 29th, 2013

I am enjoying the premise of the story thus far, however the later chapters seem to be of a lower quality than the earlier ones. Some of the word choice is awkward or poor at times. I am assuming that at this point you are in a rush to finish before the contest deadline.

This seems so COOl!!!:rainbowkiss: I can't wait to read it all!!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

This is extremely well done. I enjoyed the twist of "Rosetta" having to rescue "Daring"; clearly that was what Dash had in mind in saying that Twilight would not see Rosetta as just a sidekick in this story.

Romance, adventure, German goats, vivid imagery, ponies? This is very well written, entertaining, and fun. I think I shall watch and fave.

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Thank you guys :twilightsmile:

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As much as it pains me I can't really disagree. The first chapters have simply been around for much longer and have been re-read and re-written a gazillion times, but the later chapters are just too new for this. I'll take it as a lesson for future stories that chapters need more time to mature.

So romantic :raritystarry:
I wonder exactly how closely this is following Rainbow's writing though... since they keep using their normal names, and the talking about being in a novel. Did Rainbow write that kiss, or is Twi falling for her on her own?

Also, I want one of those machines. It's like getting to script your own dreams AND experience them together with someone else :twilightsmile:

Awesome Sauce! I was 100th liker! :derpytongue2:

Lolage! cant wait 2 see wht happenzzz next :D:twilightsmile:

A little rough in spots, but overall, I'm definitely enjoying this. It's just the right mix of sweet, silly, and swashbuckling. :twilightsmile:

wait, what? two days and there are five more chapters?

my only commentary at this lovely chapter:
"“Then don’t let’s walk too far. Let’s see if we can find a place to sleep and go on tomorrow”, Twilight suggested."
that sentence is.... quite odd. It doesn't really seem correct either.

Rainbow, a little out of breath herself, didn’t rest. She quickly flew over to Twilight and picked her up and carried up, above the canopy. “Let’s get out of here before more of them show up!” Twilight, still enthused about their victory, wrapped her hooves around the pegasus und cheered in her ear, causing her a broad smile.
Because it's almost midnight the spelling goatzi inside me noticed this

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Thanks :twilightsmile:

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Thanks, that's right what I was aiming for (except for the roughness :twilightoops: )

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Thanks for the keen eye, fixed it :twilightsmile:

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Hah, I wanted to reply something deep and clever and thoughtful, but instead ended up wondering about the inner workings of my own story. Well done :moustache: Hopefully the ending will clear up a thing or two :twilightsheepish:

Where is chapters 11,12,and13

Twilight lighted up her horn

Shouldn't that be "lit up" instead of lighted up?

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