- Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Last Thursday
darf
pony-writer/pornographer looking for work. old stories undeleted. i'm sorry. Patreon here
darf
Joined 1st Apr, 2012 ·
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Clopfics11,551 stories ·15,817 members
Crossovers10,951 stories ·7,367 members
Game Crossovers4,413 stories ·5,473 members
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Anthropomorphics7,625 stories ·5,015 members
Animal Crossing Crossovers3 stories ·59 members
- warning: cum inflation, belly bulging, huge insertion, gangbanging, etc. ahead3,889 stories ·3,604 members
Cryosite2,675 stories ·252 members
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Darf has requested! Let it be so! Now to read this....
Hot?
It's anthro... NOOO!!
Can I have a sextion for R63 ponies 2 plz knightly? p;s k thx
My literal reaction seeing this fic: an audible, stammered "what?"
Not so much seeing it, but seeing it and it was written by Darf... I thought you didn't do crossovers, man.
Though from the outside, without me reading it? It seems to be more of a parody of crossovers then an actual one. I'll have to dig into it to find out...
Yes, use your influence to add more tags...We need them!
Alright now I've read it.
Well, more skimming, but still.
This really does seem like a vent piece towards poorly-done clopfics. Isabelle is a bit of a mary sue, but that's part of the parody. Convieniently large dicks, large tits, and comfort with sexual activity? Gee, it's almost as if the eorld has been contrived by the author to get
himselfothers off as soon as possible!Really, Mr. Darf, I would expect this sort of thing from Regidar or another author known for parody, but having seen your recent blogs and whatnot, it's clear. You're sick of pony porn. More importantly, you're sick of poorly-written, terrifically contrived pony porn. If this ain't a vent piece I don't know what else is.
Overanalysis ahoy.
an even better joke would be a "this is my first story so be nice!!!!1!" in the A/Nanthro pls go
If this isn't some kind parody then I don't know what the hell it is.......still found it hot though, to my shame.
2817876
um excuse me that's kind of rude, i put a lot of work into this story and was hoping other people would enjoy it. if you don't like it you can just say so but there is no reason to be RUDE.
Fucking awesome. I came for the hysterical title, and came again for the hysterical content.
Darf, what are you doing. Stahp
2817928 I like it! I RAG ON YOU BECAUSE I CARE DAMMIT
I, for one, love anthro. So I'm quite sure I will enjoy this. Don't let the haters discourage, Darfy!
2817957
I agree, I'm surprised there is no "Anthro" tag on this site. We have a "Human" tag, so don't you think Fimfiction could add that? I mean, some fics would tag "Human" when its a story that features no humans, but has anthro versions of the characters. (Except for when it has humans and anthros in the same story.) Alot of people think Human and Anthro is the same thing.
2817928
I wasn't expecting an Animal Crossing:New Leaf crossover with Isabelle. What's funny is that I just got the game last Saturday. Also, Isabelle is starting to get alot of love in the Animal Crossing fandom.
I shouldn't be favoriting... but...
DAMN YOU DARF!
My avatar perfectly describes my reaction to this fanfic.
2817957 I don't hate, I just rifferate.
When I riff something, it's usually something I thought was funny, interesting, or written too terribly for me to read without riffing it at the same time. Luckily, Darf's kinda... in the middle of my scale, so I don't riff his stuff much, but I do like to every once in a while.
2817876 Honestly, Regidar would at least have made it so the sex scenes were more goofy than anything else. Like Big Mac having a two inch dick or something. That'd be freakin' hillllllllallaallallalrllriooiuus. (Y'like how I spelled hilarious just there? I'll do it again some time!)
1:28 if you please
I don't know how to feel about this.
2818250 I'd actually read a normal, non-joking fic like that.
All the fanfiction involving Macintosh invariably makes him blessed. Physical size does not equal penial size!
Moreover, a good clopfic writer should know that size truly doesn't matter if you have technique!
2818329 I hear that! I'm a lumbering oaf at 6 foot 5, and while I'm by no means tiny, I don't have a 12 inch dick. That'd be re-dick-you-lush.
2818380 I think most ladies would be frightened off by a length of that calibur!
And the guys, too! You've only got 18 inches of clear space, y'know! Don't wanna do anything fatal, you'll end up sharing a messy grave with Mr. Hands!
2818399 Aye, lad! 'Tis be true! Which is why I'm fine with only 7 inches.
2818465 And me with my six
OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH INTERNET FOR ONE DAY
I hate crossovers, but it is by Darf, so I shall try it! Also, it helps that I am in LOVE with AC:NL lately.
2818528 Pfff, sorry to hear that, man. Maybe you should eat more veggies. I eat broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, and carrots most every day. And my beanpole hasn't shrunk.
But anyhow, I like all the downvotes. They really are quite fetching, are they not?
2819215 The downvotes are because we are having an aside when the focus of the comments section should be the story. As a courtesy, we should take our discussion elsewhere.
2819242 Yeah, I know that, man. That's what the Mustaches and trollestias were for. But yes, I agree. The conversation was from nowhere and added nothing to the overall enjoyment of the story. I'm just surprised no one felt like giving a thumbs up for two dudes not shy about the fact that their cocks aren't five meters long.
2819261 Well, where to, my open-about-his-capabilities friend?
Gratuitous crack clop. I am intrigued.
What? No! My waifu, back off!
But seriously, this is some crack clop you got here....
2819304 Sorry, I was watching Salt Kidney's How to Drain your Flagon. It's an interesting tale about this guy telling tall tales as he drinks a bar out of their entire stock in one night. Then, it turns out that he's the King's son, and since the king's an evil douche, they kill him. The king just laughs the entire time.
2820274 huh
And...................just like that Animal Crossing as a child hood memory is gone lol. Nice story.
That was so fucking non-canon it hurt omg lol. Great story either way, Darf.
A very quick and strange intro, but fuck me that was hot! Thumbs up!
Knighty added an anthro tag just because you told him to?
Jeesh, he likes you too much.
What.
Someone had to say it. Seriously, I think I lost another pip of sanity and I barely have any of those left.
I'm amazed that he listened, he added the anthro tag. You really do have influence.
2822667
He likes his clop too much.... I'm totally getting banned for this aren;t I?
2826131 Nope. We all know Knighty is a clop-addicted wanker.
2826155 He IS the founder of the Clopfics group too....
Dog?
That thing on the cover is supposed to be a dog? I'm calling bullshit. Insufficient furry.
So angered by taxonomic classifications I was left not only unable to clop, but am probably sterile now. Also, Rarity didn't say "darling" enough, fluttershy's tits weren't obnoxiously huge enough, and just in general there was not enough futadicking.
There is a way we are expected to do things, Mr. darf, there is a way. And this? This is not that way. You will be hearing from my solicitor, in the interim you may hear this song.
-Ironic use of smilies-
2822667
Drop the armor, Sorren. The faggotry is strong with you, yes, but at least try. The site only benefits from the Anthro tag and, even though I personally dislike it, there are others out there who do.
I've seen people less annoying than you getting permabanned for less. The only explanation I could think of is that knighty likes to have you around.
Y'know, to laugh at.
Hooo~, boy. I wish Amit could come... That left your right ass cheek kind of sore, right?
(left?)
2843096 Chill brah.
If you didn't see my comment on the blog post about it (check first page), then you should before ripping me a new one.
As for the permaban thing. Well, I have no fucking idea why or why not I'm still here. but I'm still here and I guess you don't like it.
2844760 No need, I'm chill.
I don't follow darf, so I do not know what he posts or doesn't. Nor would I mine your comments around him. Sorry, you're not that special, brah.
I too don't know why you're still here (especially with all the "cancerous fandom" bitching you do). But it's not that I don't like it; I merely find it amusing.
2844838 Cancerous? Now, isn't that just a tad over exaggerated?
And when it comes down to why I'm not banned, it's simple. I'm an asshole, but I'm not ignorantly stupid about it (apart from the occasional incident such as Amit). I know what tumors to cut and which ones to leave the fuck alone. Basically, I push boundaries but never strain them too much.
And, now, I am actually curious who you've seen banned for less than I have done.
Btw, Knighty doesn't even know me apart from another fimfic face and D thinks I'm a twat. No mod friendlyness here.
2844913 No, actually. T'isn't an over exaggeration t'all. This fandom sucks major ass, I concede.
On the topic of being a non-stupid asshole, you should look up to Fiddlebottoms. He does it intelligently (and with enough subtext, if you know where to look) to achieve likableness. Sorry to say, but you look more like a pseudo-intellectual idiot who's tryharding (not to mention the sudden moralfagness attack, once in every 30 moons).
It's none of your business, actually.
Oh, believe me, I do know you're not mod-friendly.
Also: friendliness
PS: I'd still like to believe that you don't act this stupid in real life, as I explained in my must-be-3-week-old PM to you.