Princess Celestia has a bit of a problem that only a shapeshifter can solve (probably).

(Obviously inspired by Skywriter's "Princess Celestia Hates Tea".)

Since the end of the last Summer Sun Celibration, the Ponyville Post Office has been quite the hub for delivering mail about the return of Princess Luna, and Derpy has been working hard with the recent flow of work. A normal day was about to end, when Princess Celestia came into the humble establishment, expecting not only a package, but requested Derpy Hooves to do the delivery.

What can go wrong?

All the castle staff of Canterlot know that when seven-year-old Twilight Sparkle has a problem, the correct answer is always "Let Celestia handle it." But this time? Celestia's student has come up with a theory that she wasn't quite expecting.

Yeah, this needs fixing.

Just a short little something that hit me out of the blue and demanded to be written. Not my usual cup of tea; criticism welcome.

This is absolutely adorable, and exactly what you should read if you're looking for something sweet and cute that won't test your brain or stomach, but will test your smile muscles.

—Louder Yay

Check Ichabod Creep's Audio Reading!

Special thanks to Super Trampoline for pre-reading!

Cover art used with permission from mysticalpha.

An infiltration attempt goes from ‘wildly successful’ to 'weird and confusing' in record time.

Thanks to Tired Old Man for edits, suggestions, and helping with the title. Also thanks to Nova Quill for her edits and suggestions.

Discord never betrayed Equestria for Tirek, aiding in returning the magic to all the drained unicorns. As a result, Celestia deems him ready of a "small" gift: The Archduchy of the Everfree, technically making him the highest noble under the princesses.

Naturally, this shocks everypony, including Discord himself. Now of course his lands will some have some chaotic magic and strange laws in effect, but that doesn't mean he doesn't take the noble thing a little seriously. Why is anypony's guess, but it'll be entertaining to watch.

Luna takes a trip to familiarize herself with Equestria's advancements, as well as places that had not been settled a millennium ago, and discovers something that requires an explanation from her sister.

Celestia had a problem. Somepony wrote a novel about Nightmare Moon's rebellion. This made Luna quite unhappy, and unfortunately for her sister, Luna has not yet gotten the hang of modern traditions like freedom of speech, the abolition of the death penalty, and not bothering Princess Celestia when she's trying to sleep.

Fortunately, Celestia also had a faithful student, one who is now a Princess with an ill-defined portfolio and perfectly capable of dispensing justice by the laws of both today and one thousand years ago.

Now Twilight Sparkle has a problem.

(Title image hacked together from vectors by Martinnus1, Hawk9mm, and Paulie15.)

Celestia finds herself sharing company and her booze stash with Luna's crazed split-personality, Nightmare-Moon. However, as the night wears on, she finds she may actually be able to tolerate the dark alicorn. Maybe even like her.

For Nightmare Moon is the best pony: Contest numero uno.

Hup is a changeling that occasionally suffers the hiccups. Caught in the act of shapeshifting at a young age, Chrysalis mistook his involuntary shapeshift as natural talent. As problems pop up, one after the other, Hup's going to find out that infiltrating Equestria will be the least of his troubles.

One of a series of gifts to my followers, specifically:
Listener and RadicalThestral

Rated E for weirdness.

Straight from the Canterlot archives, this collection of documents retells the rise and fall of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Enlightened Despot of Equestria, Defender of the Peace, Lawgiver, and Commander of Fort Libris.

Twilight Sparkle is, of course, known to historians as the first usurper to seek to schedule a coup d'etat by appointment. But for other details- such as, "What is the longest recorded time a pony has gone without sleep?", "Is it true what they say about swans?", and, "Why is there an owlbear in the Equestrian Witness Protection Program?"- these documents provide the answers and much, much more.

This is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS HISTORY from primary sources. If anything makes you think this is silly, ludicrous, or unbelievable, blame Discord.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.

EDIT 3-15-17: Wow, almost instant featured! Was NOT expecting that!

EDIT 4-8-2017: Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library! Thanks!

Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!