//------------------------------// // 6 - Strife Goals // Story: Buggin' Hiccups // by sunnypack //------------------------------// Chapter 6: Strife Goals Seeing Princess Celestia flustered is a rare experience that happens every once in a while. Sure, it’s not unheard of, but it’s not like anypony could casually claim such a thing. Take Hup for instance, the changeling ‘infiltrator’ that was more like an unpaid public servant of the pony populace. He was currently considering a career change after taking in the slightly uncharacteristic reaction of a sovereign ruler of a nation. “Eighty million bits?!” Celestia repeated the figure to herself, as if that very act determined the existence of the large sum. “There’s so much we could do with that money!” Her eyes were practically sparkling with mischief. So Hup decided, for the good of Equestria, that he would step in. “Princess,” he began humbly, “you are still on a vacation, right?” Celestia’s bright expression grew troubled as she glanced at her surroundings. “True…” “Then don’t worry, we’ll set aside the bits for when you come back.” Her narrowed gaze passed through the mirror, conveying a suspicious mind. “Well… I suppose that’s true. Eighty million bits aren’t exactly an emergency.” What kind of economic scale are you living in?! Celestia grinned. “It can wait. So, how was Court? The proposals? Anything daring?” “You would not believe how many ponies came crawling out, desperate to marry royalty!” Hup exclaimed. “I would be flattered, I-Ive never had that much attention at once, but it was just so very tiring!” Celestia laughed and then snorted a little, surprising herself as much as Hup as she did so. “Oh, Hup, you’re perfect for this job!” “I don’t see how exactly. Every moment I pretend to be you, I feel like I’m going to be exposed by a simple innocuous statement!” “Hup, relax!” Celestia flicked her hoof dismissively as she rolled her rose-tinted eyes. “You worry too much. Cute as you are, it’s only a little while before I have to go back. I’ll have enjoyed a break and you can exercise some power. It’s an attractive deal, isn’t it?” Hup sighed. “You’re the one pulling all the strings,” he mumbled, “I barely get to do anything else.” Celestia was silent for a few moments. “Okay, how about this? You get to decide what to do with the eighty million bits.” “M-Me?!” Hup stumbled back from the mirror. “Have you lost your mind?!” Celestia tilted her head with a mirthful smile. “I wonder, sometimes… no, no I don’t think so.” You’re not denying it straightaway?! Hup poked the mirror. “How can you trust a changeling to handle that much… how can you trust any pony deal with that much money?” Celestia shrugged haplessly. “I have high hopes for you, Hup, and there’s not much you can do with eighty million bits.” Hup sagged at the basin, trying to control his breath that was rapidly growing out of control. Questions tumbled out of his mouth as his brain was paradoxically frozen and flooded. Frozen with fear, flooded with frenetic thoughts. “What do I spend it on? Where is it all going to go? Why are you doing this?” Celestia rubbed her hoof across her jaw in a slow, thoughtful motion. “If I’m honest, it’s probably because I believe you can make a change, changeling.” “Really?” Hup’s ears perked up. “Also, I have no idea what to do with eighty million bits either. Maybe cake?” “I’m not going to spend it on cake!” Celestia actually looked disappointed at that. “No cake?” Her eyes went watery. “No cake!” Hup shot back angrily. He held his head in his hooves. “What are you going to do with eighty million bits worth of cake?!” Celestia blinked at the changeling nymph. With a stone cold face filled with the majesty of over a thousand years of ruling and living, Celestia answered him with the most imperious of tones. “Eat them.” Hup could only stare at the delusional princess. “Why,” he began slowly, “do I get the feeling that you’re lying?” Celestia grinned mischievously. “I’m not lying. I would like some cake.” She ended the sentence with a sad look at the pineapple juice she was sipping. “Right now, actually.” Hup shook his head in mute astonishment. Then he heaved a weighty sigh, acutely aware of his time in the bathroom. Royalty did not spend frivolous time in the facilities, they were prompt and on time, to the very second. Or so the Etiquette book had told him. “Aww, Hup, you should look at your face! I’m so glad I forced—I mean, supported your little endeavour.” Hup pursed his lips sourly. “Before you get back, I’m going to eat all the cake.” Celestia waved her hooves frantically at him. “Y-You’re not serious, are you? Hup? Hup! Don’t trot away! Huuuuup!” Hup exited the bathroom with a weary look, the last part of Celestia’s cries cut off by the door slamming back into its frame. He revelled in the brief feeling of smugness born from the small gesture of resistance against the overbearing princess. However, the feeling was sort-lived as Hup almost immediately regretted it. She would find a way to get back at him, he was sure. If there was one thing royalty was good at, it was concocting revenge. Unfortunately his just desserts would be served early, it seemed as Raven stood outside the bathroom with a shocked look decorating her delicate features. “Princess… were you talking to yourself?” Hup forced a weak smile. “No, Raven, how could that possibly be true?” Raven grew steadily more concerned with each word. “Princess, if the stress is getting to you, maybe you should consider taking a holiday?” Hup gave the assistant a wry smile. “Why thank you, Raven.” But he muttered to himself, “but I feel like Celestia is already on a holiday already! In fact, she’s probably lying down on a beach and sipping on that pineapple juice!” Unfortunately, those words had still drifted over to an attentive attendant’s ears and Raven either didn’t notice or chose to comment on the fact that the Princess appeared to be talking to herself in the third person. She didn’t say anything right now, but she did resolve to herself to let Princess Luna know. ———————— Raven accompanied Hup to his next destination. Though the day was waning, there were still things to be done on the never-ending list drawn up by a overly-dedicated assistant. “You have to give a speech this afternoon to the Canterlot Society of Natural Equestrian Creatures.” Hup blinked at the name. “Ah yes, Princess, you may not have heard of them. They’re a new society formed to look into the weird and wonderful creatures that Equestria has. Recently, especially after a few incidents relating to forests, ponies have come together to study the magical fauna and flora and hope to mitigate certain disasters related to a misunderstanding between magical creatures and their habitats. They would like you to introduce them into the spotlight since they hadn’t garnered much support from before.” “It sounds like an excellent idea, why haven’t they been successful until now.” Raven shifted her hooves uncomfortably. “Public opinion clashes with one of their objectives.” “Which is?” “The inclusion of all creatures so that ponies can live side-by-side with them harmoniously.” “That doesn’t sound too bad.” Raven stole his gaze and locked eyes with him. “That includes manticores, bugbears, windigos and changelings too, you know.” Hup was about to instinctively raise his voice in counter to her including changelings in that list, but then realised belatedly that she was mostly right. Having changelings around wasn’t especially good for ponies concerned, especially ones out for revenge. Raven cleared her throat. “The invitation was an open offering so we kept the response impartial to give you some leeway to work around it.” “What do you think, Raven?” Raven tilted her head. “You’re asking me for advice, Princess?” Hup nodded, was that so strange? From the way Raven was uncomfortably shifting on the spot, it seemed like it was. “Well, Princess, although I don’t think much about letting dangerous magical creatures into the pony populace, I don’t see what the problem is with being more in touch with nature. Some ponies nowadays are just too focused with what’s in front of them—” she tittered bashfully “—oh look at me ramble on, of course you would know about that when you deal with Court all the time.” Hup nodded in what he hoped was a serene and majestic way. Raven seemed to be satisfied with that and posed the question back at him. “So Princess, what will you do?” This was his one chance to open a path into Equestria. For once in his life, maybe Hup could do something with his own two hooves. “I think,” he said in a rare display of self-directed enthusiasm, “I will make a speech.” ——————— Hup was feeling pretty good about himself. After all, he had decided in that seminal moment to act on his own. It gave him a warm fuzzy feeling that he did not immediately recognise as confidence. When his already straight posture beheld a firm, unyielding form and his eyes calmly surveyed the area with a keen sharpness not previously present, Raven appeared as if she was greatly approved of this subtle change in her royal charge. Ponies had gathered in the small hall. They seemed to be from all corners of Equestria, despite the name of ‘Canterlot’ on their society. There was even a shy-looking pegasus that seemed uncomfortable with all the attention she was garnering with her extensive knowledge of local fauna. Several members of the society looked pleasantly surprised by Hup’s arrival. Ponies here and there greeted Hup with an affectionate smile and a heady grin, as if their prayers had been answered. Hup found that feeling a little refreshing from the cloying sycophants that surrounded the stuffy events hosted by the influential ponies. Hup was starting to see why Celestia was so desperate for a holiday. Not that he would forgive that capricious alicorn for dumping him in the role instead, but still, seeing the genuinely happy faces… he couldn’t help but feel the inner impulse to cheer these ponies on. As Hup took to the stage, the shy-looking pegasus trotted over with a bow. Her buttery coat made her stand out from the mainly earthen coloured attire that dominated ponies attending this event. Those in touch with nature seemed to like being in their colours, he wryly reflected. “Good afternoon, Princess,” she said demurely, “welcome to the Canterlot Society of Natural Equestrian Creatures. I apologise for the rushed preparations, uhm, I’m glad you can make it!” She had on a wobbly smile with a small hint of fear in her eyes that was more due to nervousness in front of others than specifically Hup’s presence. At least, that’s what her emotions felt like to him. They were a terrible mess from his perspective. As silence stretched between them, and the pony failing to introduce herself any further, Hup realised all too late that the pony must have known the Princess in some capacity.. Hup tilted his head slightly in acknowledgement and put on a hastily-crafted smile. “Good afternoon,” he simply replied. Then seeing the querying look at his truncated response, quickly added, “I thought the society was a very worthwhile endeavour so I decided to show my support for it.” To ease his rising tension, and hide the worry in his eyes, he decided to take a sip of punch to quell the rising anxiety forming a lump in his throat. All too late, he realised that the brew was not simple punch, but rather sparkling punch and downing it in a gulp seared a line down his throat, making him choke in a very undignified manner. To make matters worse, Hup felt a very familiar sensation rising from the depths of his diaphragm. Oh dear, was all he could manage before he hiccupped. Right when every pony’s attention was focused on him.