"Ɓē'ēϷҥŷƙɣƙ@ēɣēƙLCʵlj@ۡͭē ĝƛÁҥjēʵēŷϷLƛݣƙϷjē@ŷ@ ɣۡϷҥē@ʵēƙɣŷLƓ ĝƛÁjƙ''ۡlŷLƙҥŷƛL čēƙʵƁjƙƛϷÁƙɣϷҥŷ''ŷLҥjēϷҥƙҥۡēƕԧē±ŷLƙ''
ƓƛLēɣƙ@HͭLēݣŷҥݣƙϷҥƛƛƓƛƛ@ҥƛēҥʵۡēHCʵēƛۡjƙôôϷۡLۡҥҥHƑɣŷL@ŷϷ±ŷLƙ''ƓƛŷLƓÁƛۡlʵۡē'
jēƙʵҥē@ɣŷϷēʵƙ'ējƙƓHCL@ҥƛҥjŷLͭ@ʵēƙɣҥ±ƛʵƓƙԧēƛۡ±ƛʵҥjŷϷH!"
Fluttershy would have glared at her friends again, some snickering and others giving full belly laughs outside, if she wasn't busy with Discord. He was babbling nonsense and not his usual kind. Some part of him was aware and using magic though, since she and Angel had no trouble holding up the tall immortal and pulling him into the nearby chair; that was a good sign, at least.
"Discord? Discord, can you hear me? It's Fluttershy," she called gingerly, waving a hoof in front of his glazed over eyes. He didn't respond, didn't react, just kept babbling and staring at the paper. She frowned in concern before glancing over to a chattering Angel Bunny as the rabbit held up the end of the draconequus's tail with his mouth open. He dropped the limb unceremoniously as Fluttershy gave a disproving look.
"Oh, Celestia, that was awesome!" Rainbow cheered outside, rolling on the porch and pounding the floor. "The look on his face!"
"It was indeed an event, Rainbow, but do remember this is Fluttershy's home," Rarity reminded with a refined giggle. "So try not to disturb all her animals any more than they already are."
"After that yell? Hehe, the whole Everfree is probably spooked," Applejack mused with a chuckle.
"Discord is probably going to get back at us for this, but for once? Worth it!" Twilight said with a wide grin.
Pinkie Pie, however, had stopped laughing a while ago, looking in the window with Spike.
"Wow, he must have been really shocked," Spike noted observantly.
"I think Flutters might need some help in there," Pinkie commented with a small, thoughtful frown. Really, it looked more like a pout.
"Yo, Pinkie? You coming? We're heading over to Applejack's to grab some cider real quick," Rainbow called as the rest of the group start to leave the area.
"I'm good, I'm going to stay and help Fluttershy with Discord's scrambled brains!" Pinkie Pie answered with a cheerful wave of her hoof.
"Have fun with that! We'll be back in about twenty minutes to see if she needs some help with the animals," Rainbow finished with a salute-wave of her own before flying off.
"No offense, but I don't get paid enough to deal with two magical lunatic powerhouses," Spike commented dryly to Pinkie Pie before jumping down from the window. "Good luck!"
"Thanks Spike!" Pinkie Pie bid him farewell.
Fluttershy was just about to resort to her emergency measures when Pinkie Pie barged in. Or rather, she sprung through the door as if shot out of a cannon towards the back of Discord's chair-
-and blinked as she was caught in Discord's tail. It curled around her around her barrel, prompting Pinkie to grin at the surprised Pegasus. "Hi, Fluttershy! Sorry about pranking Discord in your house. Well, it was more like using you to prank him without you knowing. Huh, that actually sounds meaner than I thought it did," she commented to herself. Fluttershy just raised a curious eyebrow at the party mare. "You want help putting his brain back together? I'm good with puzzles!"
Fluttershy turned back to Discord, who was now silent. Either he was still in shock or he was pranking Pinkie now. "Angel Bunny, you can stop getting the Acorn Juice! Pinkie Pie is going to help!" Fluttershy called softly to the kitchen, getting some annoyed chittering from the fluffy creature.
"Acorn Juice? What's that? Is it yummy?" Pinkie Pie asked curiously, wondering how Discord made that. Not how Twilight would wonder, as in how it was even possible. No, Pinkie was wondering if he squeezes it out or just puts a hole in the acorn to let loose the liquid that shouldn't be there, but of course it was because that's Discord!
"Um, all Discord said is that it must be good to drink since it's Alicorn without the sick parts," Fluttershy answered awkwardly.
Pinkie Pied stared for one, two seconds and- "Pfffft! Oh, that's a good one! I'm writing that down!" Pinkie Pie declared as she pulled a pen and notepad from her mane.
She didn't even stop writing as Discord pulled her into his arms, holding her with his eagle arm while petting her mane with the lion's paw. "Ahh, nothing like a bit of local ponified chaos to calm the nerves," Discord stated, as if savoring a taste, before grinning down at the earth pony. "Pinkie, thank you for the assistance," he said cheekily.
"You're welcome!" Pinkie Pie returned the grin as she put away her writing equipment and snuggled into him. "Always happy to be a cuddle buddy!"
Discord chuckled as he looked over to a relieved and smiling Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, sorry for that inconvenient lapse on my part," he apologized with an amount of sincerity that surprised Pinkie Pie, just a little bit.
"Oh no, it was no trouble at all," Fluttershy assured softly before turning curious. "So, um, what do you think?"
"I think I'm very proud of Pinkie and your friends, pulling a big one on me," Discord mused as he reclined in the chair and Pinkie Pie floated out of his grasp. "Of course, as the Original Prank Master, I can't let that slide," he continued deviously. The pink mare looked confused before trying and failing to swim through the air.
"Discord," Fluttershy said imploringly with a small frown.
"Now, now, Flutters. I'm just exercising a bit of Pranktorial payback, that's all. Besides, Celestia is the real culprit I need to deal with. The rest will be slaps on the hooves in comparison," Discord assured with a wave of his claw. "Besides, I think you knew this was coming when you stayed behind, eh Ms. Pie?" Discord taunted lightly at the now upside-down mare.
Pinkie Pie smiled widely and saluted him. "Rightio, Your Archiness!"
"...Okay, you're definitely getting the lightest hoof-slap," Discord decided, his eyes dancing with mirth at the nickname as he pointed to the ceiling.
Pinkie Pie grunted as she found that gravity was restored, but in reverse, putting her on the ceiling. "Hey, I'm upside down!...This is payback?" Pinkie Pie asked curiously.
"It is when you try to get down," Discord answered patiently.
Pinkie Pie looked around with a hum before walking over to one of the walls. To her lack of surprise, she couldn't just walk down the walls. No, no, that would be too easy!
"Best not take too long or you'll miss the "Discord's An Archduke!" party," Discord teased in an almost sing-song voice.
Pinkie Pie's eyes went comically wide as she gasped before starting running around the ceiling, trying and failing to find a way back to the floor.
"Is there a way down?" Fluttershy asked in a whisper as she flew up to beside her taller friend, sitting on the arm of the chair.
"Yes, but it'll wear off in an hour even if she doesn't find it," Discord answered, equally quiet, as he watched the earth pony run about, oblivious to the real prank that had just been played on her. With that taken care of, he hummed and looked back down at the newspaper. "Bucking Archduke of the Everfree," he muttered thoughtfully.
"You should be proud," Fluttershy praised with an encouraging smile and a hoof on his shoulder. "You did a great help to everypony in Equestria, especially those ponies that lost their magic. And Princess Celestia must really trust you now to give you this!"
"Well, at least one Princess does," Discord mused to himself, still gazing at the paper. "The jury is still out on Cadence and I still need to bury the hatchet with Luna. Twilight, however, is a much tougher crowd," he murmured thoughtfully, head resting in his eagle talon while Pinkie Pie continued to run above them.
Fluttershy didn't argue that point. She learned from her animals that some creatures just had a hard time getting along, more so with two entities like Discord and Twilight that were not only former enemies but whose individual personalities clashed on a more fundamental level. Though, she personally thought the two had a lot in common if they worked past their respective dislikes of Order and Chaos.
"Hehehe." Discord's giggling brought her out of thoughts, the Pegasus seeing him starting to grin. "Oh, I am going to have sooooo much fun with this!"
Fluttershy smiled brightly; she was glad to see Discord starting to be like his usual se- her coffee table just started walking to the bathroom. Yes, he was definitely fine now.
"And don't worry, my little Flutters! I'll have you listed as an honorary member of the Archduchy," he assured, ruffling her mane as he shot up into the air, grabbing Pinkie's attention. "Well, his Archiness must be off to inspect his new domain! Watch for the fireworks!" Discord declared before bursting into blue and white confetti.
Pinkie Pie, somehow managing to get on the walls rather than the ceiling, tilted her head and bit one of the pieces of paper out of the air, her eyes wide in delight. "It tastes like cucumbers! Oh, edible confetti, I got to make some of that!" she declared happily, even more determined to get down to the floor.
Fluttershy's eyes lit up as she took a taste as well: it was definitely Discord's cucumber sandwich! It made her giggle, realizing he remembered to give them to her at the last moment, even without it being obvious.
Though, she'd probably never understand why he thought cucumber sandwiches were strange enough to not need any "chaosing."
Later
For Ponyville, it was impossible to miss the five hour and twenty-three minute celebration Discord had immediately after leaving Fluttershy's cottage. It started out nice and simple: Trees dancing as if they had hips to swing, a saxophone echoing over the sound of a banjo and every rodent less than two feet high doing what could only be described as an oompa-loompa version of an Egyptian dance...with overbites.
Then came the real treat. Geysers of strawberry milkshakes, giant marshmallow snakes eating themselves out of existence, the river going on strike, night and day somehow changing ONLY over the Everfree, ravens melting into wooden storm clouds that rained honey and flash with lightning made of union, and much MUCH more.
And all the while, Discord kept playing his banjophone as chaos ran wild in the Everfree. While he didn't come off as a polite entity, the animals all just either laid low or rolled with the punches. Their more basic minds and instincts, ironically, were able to perceive a vague understanding of his intent: essentially, they knew it would be over fairly soon.
Hence why the cragadile made no fuss about suddenly being incased in Jello or the Hydra didn't complain about his swamp suddenly being a hodgepodge of sodas. Actually, Discord was sure the multi-headed creature enjoyed them. And the Ursa slept right through it entirely.
Talk about a deep sleeper.
And then it all just stopped, the animals and plants returning to normal and going about their regular business. Like the whole thing had been one giant performance...which it was, in a way.
This was what had Mayor Mare in a relatively good, relaxed mood. She had been a bit terrified of her town suddenly being next to a realm ruled by their local chaos god. Would it draw tourists? Would it drive her fellow ponyvillians to move away? How would this affect the property values!?
But for the opening salvo, it all seemed...not so much tame as it was non-disastrous. The reality warping was more or less staying within the Everfree and none of it caused a problem for anypony. Though, she'd imagine that the weather-pegasi would be making new rules about not interfering with Everfree-weather.
So now she could sit back in her chair and- "Mayor Mare?" her secretary called, his head peaking in the office door.
"Yes, Scroll Finder?" she answered, sitting upright with a curious expression. The green and blue Pegasus looked strangely nervous about something.
"You have a...guest. He doesn't have an appointment, but it is...rather important, I believe," Scroll answered, his wings twitching.
He? Rather important? Unless it was Filthy Rich or Spike the Dragon, she couldn't think of anypony else it would be, not off her hoof tips. Either way, she was free for right now. "Very well, send him-"
*FLASH*
"-in," Mayor Mare finished with a squeak as a certain now-noble Draconequus appeared on top of her door, his serpentine body lounging about it like a snake.
"Good evening, Mayor Mare," he greeted with a coy smile, his voice polite but ever playful. "I hope this isn't a bad time?" he asked as Scroll Finder cautiously inched back out of the room.
"N-not at all, Your Grace," Mayor Mare assured quickly, thankful she had checked which manners of address to use with one of his station. "Please, have a seat. How may I help you?"
She wasn't sure, but this all seemed to amuse him more as he floated down into the chair. "Right to the point then. There's a certain pony I've heard about that I hope you'll be able to point me in the direction of," he stated vaguely.
"A pony?" Mare asked, a bit surprised and trying to hide her suspicion.
"Yes, I believe she used to be the one to help organize things before our dear not-then-Princess Twilight moved to town," Discord mused as he examined his talons.
"...Amethyst Star?" Mayor Mare recalled in slight bewilderment.
"Ah yes, that would be her," Discord agreed with a smirk.
"Not to intrude, Your Grace, but may I ask what need you have of this mare?" Mayor Mare questioned uncertainly.
Now the smirk was downright devious. "I have a job offer for her."
Timeskip
Three days had passed since Discord became the Archduke of the Everfree, and things had gotten disturbingly quiet; which had Twilight and her friends on edge, knowing that he was likely to get some payback on them in the near future.
Celestia and Luna were less worried, both under the assumption that Discord was entertaining himself with some form of chaos that the sheer size of the Everfree concealed.
Luna herself was in the middle of her Night Court Session. She didn't have many petitioners or such to show up during her late hours, but she preferred that for now. It gave her time to brush up on the history that she had been absent from, what she could find anyway. Not to mention it allowed her more time to tend to the dream realm. Currently, she was in the middle of reading the (to her) recent explosion in Las Pegasus's growth as a community, even if it was a city mainly of businesses and gambling.
"Um...?" the voice of her herald drew her attention. The batpony stallion, clad in the dark armor of the Night Guard, was looking over a small piece of paper. "Announcing, Lady Amethyst Star: Steward of the Everfree, Castellan of Castle Xaos and Vassal of Archduke Discord!"
With each title, Luna's eyes went wider and wider until they looked ready to fall out of her skull. To her understanding, the age of vassals was more or less over. True, there were still nobles and they still had their servants, but they were employees rather than retainers that had sworn their lives to support a liege. And while Celestia had one or two ponies that were effectively the castellans of Canterlot Castle, Equestria hadn't had a proper steward in ages.
"It's a pleasure, Princess Luna."
The Alicorn was brought of her thoughts as she looked down from the dais to stare at the pink coated and purple maned mare bowing before her, clothed in a yellow saddle dress with a skirt.
The mare's smile was disarming, respectful, coy and screamed of cunning.
Discord had either chosen well or trained her VERY fast.
Luna couldn't help bringing out her own poker smile, as it was now known, as she nodded for the pony to rise. "Well met, Lady Amethyst. Now, pray forgive my caution, but did D- the Archduke give you a form of proof that you do indeed have his permission to speak on his behalf?" she questioned curiously.
"Fret not, Your Highness. His Grace was more than expecting such a question," Amethyst assured pleasantly, magically reaching into her bag to pull out a scroll.
A scroll wrapped with a light blue feather.
Luna hummed curiously, grasping the parchment with her own magic, subtly casting all manner of detection spells. Other than the feather being ridiculously rich with magic, as expected of something from Discord, it was a complete normal letter. Her interest peaked, she unfurled it.
"To the Princesses and whoever else it concern,
Anyone in possession of my feathers speaks on my behalf.
Amethyst Star is my Vassal, Castellan, Steward, and most importantly the Discordian Translator.
Archduke Discord I of the Everfree"
"..." Luna knew Discord's writing. It was a very distinct thing, being one of the only individuals she had personal contact with that used opposable thumbs to write. Yet she had trouble comprehending that Discord ever made a message this simple and to the point. "...Discordian Translator?" Luna questioned with a raised eyebrow, idly noting the feather fading out of existence.
"An unofficial title, I'm sure you guess," Amethyst answered, just a bit sheepishly. "One of my duties is conveying His Grace's desires and complaints in the most reasonable and understandable manner I can." She elaborated as the feather appeared next to her, prompting her to put it in her saddle bag.
Luna nodded. That job might just be far, far more challenging than being a Steward. She had many, many questions, but this hardly seemed like the appropriate time for them. "I would assume that you came here for more reasons than just that?" she inquired with a head tilt.
"Of course, Your Highness," Amethyst assured as she levitated a fairly large stack of papers from her saddle bag, making the Moon Princess turn bug-eyed. The paper was nearly as thick as a stallion's fetlock! Since when was Discord big on paperwork!? "First off, while delivery mare isn't my occupation, I have been asked to pass this along," she stated, separating at least three-fourths of the papers and placing them next to the dais.
"And this would be...?" Luna asked expectantly, eyeing the stack of papers warily.
"It's correspondence of a personal nature between your person and the Archduke. Along with your royal sister," was the Discordian Vassal's vague response.
"Very well then," Luna acknowledged with a nod, beckoning her to continue.
"Yes, well, the first order of business relates to me, actually. The Archduchy being brand new, and My Liege having little reason to care about the latest rules of bureaucracy until now, we are not exactly sure how to go about acquiring the papers to officially list me as a resident of the Archduchy, let alone formally making me the Steward," Amethyst Star explained, raising an eyebrow at the diarch- or was it triarch now?
"Hmm, a genuine dilemma. There is far more paperwork involved in such things than there was in older days," Luna mused with a wave of her hoof. "Rest assured, I will have the proper documents sent to your master in as timely a manner as possible, enough that your Archduchy will not have to request more anytime soon."
"Whatever amount you're imagining, the Archduke respectfully requests that Your Highness double it," Amethyst Star stated bluntly.
"Oh? Is our dear Draconequus expecting a large influx of ponies coming to live in his domains?" Luna asked in interest.
"No. He intends to use half of them for making paper sculptures, such as hats and boats," Amethyst answered with a small smirk. "He claims he needs to do something entertaining with all this red tape if he has to jump through it."
Luna was silent for a moment before blinking. Internally, she sighed in relief. This...this is more what she expected from someone representing Discord. "I shall...most definitely grant that request, Lady Amethyst," she answered sincerely
"Thank you. Now, in regards to the official boundaries, especially those between the Everfree and Ponyville?" Amethyst Star commented. "Due to the...less than ideal relationship His ArchDucal Highness has had in the past with her Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle, he feels that matters relating to where his and her authorities end should be put to rest sooner rather than later."
'I just know that this will be used to annoy my sister's former student, but she does have a point,' Luna thought in bemusement. "I do not suppose the limits of Ponyville would be a sufficient manner of which to judge this matter?"
"Actually, that was our original intention, Your Majesty," Amethyst stated with a scowl. "But when we looked into the matter, it became...quite unacceptable."
"Oh?" Luna asked curiously.
"The boundary is of an informal definition, merely stating that its border is "at the edge of the Everfree Forest,"" the unicorn summarized. "Meaning that not only does Ponyville own a fairly large gap between them and us, if the forest were to be cut down next to Ponyville, the area cleared could be considered part of Ponyville."
"...I can plainly see why such a thing is unacceptable. Though, do you believe that with yourself as a intermediate, the Archduke and our youngest Princess could not find a suitable compromise?" Luna questioned.
"May I be blunt, Princess Luna?" Amethyst asked with a tired smirk.
"You may," Luna granted, wondering where this was going.
"While the titles are the same, you and Princess Twilight are different levels of authority in the land. Yourself and Princess Celestia are akin to High Princesses with Twilight as a Princess. And my liege's rank as Archduke makes him more or less an equal to Princess Twilight in terms of authority in this situation. And I have no desire for a pecking order to be determined over a matter as simple as this, least of all when My Liege is clearly trying to be civil," she stated firmly.
"..." Luna examined the mare in front of her carefully. "One day, Lady Amethyst, I would like to hear how Discord won your loyalty and service in a manner of days."
"A story I will one day share, Princess Luna," Amethyst assured neutrally.
"Then for now, I shall send a team to Ponyville, to measure the distances between the Everfree and the buildings currently closest to it. A rough draft of the borders will be made from there and, should the Archduke and Princess not have substantial complaints, it will be finalized at a future meeting," Luna issued royally.
"Thank you, Your Majesty," the Everfree Steward acknowledged respectfully as she shuffled through her papers.
"...Does the Archduke truly have that many concerns, so soon in his reign?" Luna asked curiously.
"Hmm? Oh, no, Your Highness," Amethyst assured with a bright smile. "Most of these are just doodles he shuffled in when I wasn't looking."
"Doodles...," Luna repeated, once more relieved by the proof of Discord still being Discord.
"His Grace likely put some in there as well," Amethyst stated with feigned exasperation, nodding to the large stack of papers still sitting by Luna. "I do apologize in advance."
Luna almost scowled, being reminded of the mysterious subject of those papers, but smiled all the same. "No need to apologize, Lady Amethyst. I am...admittedly impressed, that you can work efficiently with a master as...eccentric as Archduke Discord," Luna complimented carefully before taking on a small frown. "Actually, on the matter of personal issues? I have...a request for your liege regarding the old castle?" Luna started tentatively.
"Not to be rude, Your Highness, but I'm nigh-certain the Archduke covered whatever you're about to ask in those papers I gave you," Amethyst pointed out with a reassuring smile.
Luna blinked, glancing down at them again. Had Discord...actually thought ahead with consideration to herself and Celestia in regards to their old home?
"Moving on: if we have a formal issue or news to give to Ponyville, should we be sending messages to the Mayor, Princess Twilight, or both?" Amethyst asked curiously.
Luna had a feeling Archduke Discord would be the cause behind many current rules and methods of doing thing changing. Just the way he liked it, no doubt.
Still, she truly couldn't help thinking about it during the entire meeting.
Being a vassal was a serious thing. Not something done lightly if one understood what it meant, and Amethyst clearly understood.
How in Tartarus did Discord convince this mare to swear herself to him?