After the events of the recent Summer Sun Celebration, Derpy has been busy with deliveries nonstop! And when Princess Celestia arrives to the post office to request a delivery to Canterlot, the alicorn specifically requests that Derpy would deliver.
Since the end of the last Summer Sun Celibration, the Ponyville Post Office has been quite the hub for delivering mail about the return of Princess Luna, and Derpy has been working hard with the recent flow of work. A normal day was about to end, when Princess Celestia came into the humble establishment, expecting not only a package, but requested Derpy Hooves to do the delivery.
Parcel Post panned his eyes over the deliveries that needed to be shipped out that day. Everything local; something he liked. He needed to finally have a day that concluded on a good note, especially after the recent Summer Sun Celebration. Not only was the day a busy one because of letters being sent to friends and loved ones, sending their best wishes for a safe celebration, but the sudden appearance of Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna’s return from her banishment, the inhabitants of Ponyville have been sending and receiving letters, talking or asking about the ancient alicorn who rose the moon. Business was what Parcel Post liked; however, the insane traffic of letters, along with the normal packages that need to be shipped, has overwhelmed the poor stallion, along with his staff.
A full week was about to conclude, indicating that Sunday was a guaranteed day off. Seeing everything was checked off with no x’s anywhere on the sheet, Parcel Post was about to call it a day.
The front door of the post office flung open and a cross-eyed mare stumbled in. Her blonde mane was frazzled and her gray coat had spots of dirt across the pegasus’ body. “My goodness!” Parcel Post exclaimed, though not surprised to see Derpy Hooves in such a condition. “What happened?!”
Derpy adjusted her blue mailmare cap before speaking. “Another cat…” she muttered.
Parcel Post let out a sigh, “Derpy, what have I told you about petting other ponies’ cats? You aren’t an animal keeper, especially with how you look now, and should be focusing on work, not lending your attention to a pet.”
“But this was rubbing up on me and then rolled onto its back, begging for me to rub its belly!” the mare argued, throwing out a hoof to try and emphasize how much she couldn’t resist the cat. “I don’t know what this cat’s deal was when I stroked its tummy a third time before it attacked me!”
Again, Parcel Post made a sigh of disapproval. “Regardless of how cute it was behaving, you are there to do a job. Understand?” His voice was a matter of fact and Derpy knew he was being serious. Her ears retreated, upset that she could not resist the feline’s cute nature.
“I’m sorry…” Derpy muttered. In a fit of depression, she removed her mailbag and let it go to the ground with a thump. However, the bag was supposed to be empty, not make a heavy thud.
“Did… you deliver everything today?” If there was one thing Derpy was never off par, it was her ability to make sure every delivery was to its destination on time. If there was a package that needed to be delivered from Ponyville to Manehattan, she might be able to pull off the fabled sonic rainboom for how fast she would fly.
“Of course I did!” Derpy leered down at the bag, curious as to what hid in the sack. Releasing the straps from the sack, Derpy flipped open the flap.
“RRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW!” A black cat screamed, now exposed to the outside world.
“IT”S THE CAT AGAIN!” Derpy shrieked. Adrenaline flooded through the pegasus’ blood and picked up the mailbag. The angry creature swiped its claw at Derpy, but thankfully missed. With all her might, she threw the bag at the widow. The sack, along with the cat, crashed through the glass, making a horrific sound that would turn any head to wonder what would cause such a noise.
Realizing what she had done, Derpy looked to the ground, he glass littering the wooden floor. “Sorry about the window… again.” The mare can't remember how many times that same window has gone through repairs. She can remember her first day on the job, smashing through it whilst escaping an angry swarm of bees. As for the other times, one involved a boomerang that went rogue when Derpy “accidentally” opened a package and began playing with the technical toy. Another involved her crashing through the window while being chased by a dog… that was being chased by bees. A stone, a blank of wood, and somehow an innocent paper airplane managed to smash through the surface of glass, all because of Derpy.
Parcel Post walked around the counter and patted the pegasus on the shoulder, giving Derpy a friendly smile. “It's okay, I would have done the same thing to the cat. That's why I am a dog pony.” Derpy cracked a smile, but frowned as she looked back at the window. “Besides, we have it ensured,” he added.
“Thanks for trying to cheer me up,” Derpy sighed, then shook her head. “It's just hard being me sometimes.”
A friendly arm came behind the mare’s neck. “I know,” Parcel Post spoke in a warm tone. Thinking about an innocent task that will cheer up the mare and cause less damage, the stallion’s ears twitched. “Tell ya what! Why don't you help close up shop? Just sweep the floor and then mop up.”
Knowing nothing can go wrong with sweeping, unless the straws from the broom would suddenly combust, Derpy happily accepted the task. She started from the front of the post office, carefully removing the glass from the floor. Everything went along nicely with nothing getting in the way of her sweeping.
Finished with her sweeping, Derpy stood beside Parcel Post as the stallion cleared the counter of any loose papers. “What do you have planned this weekend?” Derpy asked, her eyes slowly rolling around in her head.
The stallion blushed, “Oh, umm… I… well…”
Pressing further, Derpy grinned widely, “Does it that mare you’ve been interested in?”
“P-perhaps… I asked Happy Trails i-if she wanted to have lunch tomorrow and she said yes…” Parcel Post smiled, but still wore a nervous grin.
“Congrats!” Derpy beamed and hugged her boss. “Do you plan to-”
The front door slowly opened and the two ponies turned their attention to the one entering. In fact, not one, not two, but three ponies made their way into the post office. Two white stallions dressed in elegant armor entered with graceful struts. Walking in between them… was Princess Celestia.
“P-Princess Celestia!” Derpy exclaimed, amazed by the princess’ sudden appearance. Despite the counter being in the way, that did not stop Derpy from bowing. In a quick motion, she slammed her face on the counter, hoping that was enough to give her respects to the alicorn. Princess Celestia flinched a bit, worried if the pegasus hurt herself, but she was surprised to see Derpy pop her head off and smile.
“Welcome to the Ponyville Post Office!” Derpy exclaimed, gesturing to the entire store with her arm. “What brings you to our humble establishment, your highness?” In her peripheral, Derpy noticed her boss staring at Princess Celestia with a dumbstruck gaze. “Why haven't you bowed?” she hissed. Placing her hoof behind Parcel Post’s skull, Derpy slammed his face on the table to simulate her version of a bow. Again, Princess Celestia flinched at the sight of pain.
Clearing her throat, the alicorn spoke, “Good afternoon.” Bringing himself to attention, Parcel Post sprung his head upwards to return his eyes back to the princess. “I am here because I need to request special service.”
“And how may Ponyville’s own mail company assist?” Parcel Post asked with a beaming smile, wanting to be of any help.
“I am in search of a pony by the name of Derpy Hooves,” Princess Celestia spoke, her eyes darting between the two ponies. “Do you two by chance know where they might be?”
Swinging her head onto the counter, Derpy spoke in a muffled tone, “That’s me!” before bringing herself back to attention.
Not in anyway scared, nor worried, the earth pony asked, “And what might you need of my employee, princess?”
Smiling, the alicorn looked to Derpy and answered, “I have heard amazing things about you. Your techniques have been quite interesting from what the locals have told me, along with your ability to get the task done. I also hear you are quite the nice mare.”
Again, Derpy smashed her face on the counter. Though nopony could see her face, the pegasus smiled. “Thank you for your words of kindness!”
“Your... welcome.” Princess Celestia gazed at Derpy’s forehead, noticing a red bruise starting to show. “Now, here is what I need for you to do...” Both Derpy and Parcel Post straightened up, with ears pointed at the princess. “Obviously, I need you to deliver something. An important shipment of three crates will be arriving on Monday here in Ponyville. I need you, Derpy Hooves, to deliver them to my throne room.”
Derpy rose her hoof in order to not be rude and interrupt the princess. Princess Celestia nodded to allow Derpy to speak. “I am glad you have come to Ponyville for my services specifically, but why don't you have your shipment arrive at Canterlot?”
The princess smiled, “Because I know you are the best for this job. Like I said before, the ponies here in Ponyville have told me that you are the one who will always get the task at hoof done. I know you will get what I need finished.” A serious, yet kind smile grew on Princess Celestia’s lips. “Will you be the one to deliver these crates?” Derpy swung her head at the table, but did not feel her forehead smash against the table. A yellow aura glew around Derpy’s head, preventing it from moving. “And you don't have to keep… bowing.”
The mare looked over to her boss who smiled at her. “If the princess says you can do it, I know you can do it.”
With both Princess Celestia and Parcel Post’s belief that she will not fail, Derpy Hooves moved from behind the counter, standing before the white alicorn. The incident with the cat did not hinder the pegasus’ positive attitude. Rather, she forgotten it had ever happened. This was a request of a lifetime, and Derpy Hooves was not about to let it slip from her grasp.
“You got it Princess!” Derpy saluted.
“Excellent!” Princess Celestia moved slightly, and the guards quickly exited the post office. “My organizer will be sending a courier early Monday morning about instructions on how to deliver said packages.”
“Understood!” Derpy nodded.
Turning toward the exit, Princess Celestia spoke, “Farewell, Derpy Hooves. I will see you Monday with the task completed.” Then, she left with grace in her steps.”
A hoof patted Derpy on the back. “Well, looks like you have quite the task at hoof,” Parcel Post smiled. With the princess now gone, the pegasus showed a bit of weakness and frowned.
“Do you think I might fail?” She looked at her boss and could tell he was thinking about the various ways she could mess up the delivery.
“I am sure you will do fine,” Parcel Post answered, despite the thoughts in his mind. “Why else would the princess herself request you?”
Derpy slightly blushed, remembering Princess Celestia’s kind words. “I guess you are right. Maybe-”
“Well aren't you a cutie!” Both Derpy and Parcel Post looked to the broken window to see Princess Celestia gazing at the ground. A black cat purred and rubbed its body against her long white legs.
“Isn't that the cat from earlier?” Parcel Post asked, looking to his employee. He looked at Derpy with concern, seeing her eyes wide with worry.
“Don't pet that cat…” Derpy muttered to herself. To her horror, the black cat rolled onto its back, revealing its underside.
“You want a belly rub?” Oh no! Princess Celestia brought her hoof and pet the cat’s belly. Then a second time.
The world around Derpy began to slow down. Her heartbeat rang in her ear as she fanned out her wings and darted for the broken window. “Princess! No!” The alicorn turned her head to see where the loud exclaim came from, not noticing her hoof going down for the third stroke.
In an instant, the cat hissed and screeched, ready to strike. Derpy dashed through the broken window, nearly missing the sharp blades of glass still clinging to the frame.
As the guards brought their attention to the charging mare, Princess Celestia took a few steps back away from the angered feline. Its hairs on its back stood up, informing the alicorn that it was not pleased. Without warning, it made a leap at her face.
In a blinding speed, Derpy passed the guards and lunged herself in front of the princess. “Noooooooooooooooooo!” The cat’s arms wrapped around the pegasus’ head; and proceeded to scratch Derpy Hooves’ face with vicious ferocity.
Derpy Hooves stepped in front of her bathroom mirror with a prideful smile. Despite the band aids littered across her face, the mare was not bothered by them; in fact she was proud of her battle scars. “Alright Derpy Hooves!” she exclaimed, pointing a hoof at her reflection. “You remember what happened on Saturday. Princess Celestia walked into the Ponyville post office, requesting you specifically to deliver three packages. On top of that, you prevented a vicious cat from harming the her. If you can keep the princess safe from dangerous animals, you can deliver those boxes!”
Placing her mail cap on her cranium, Derpy Hooves stepped toward the bathroom door. “Hey Mom!” Dinky Hooves quickly jumped in front of the door way with a wide grin.
“AGH!” Derpy screamed.
Her daughter shrieked as well. “What… the heck mom!” Dinky ordered, stamping down her hoof in protest.
Derpy took a few deep breaths before responding to the unicorn. “Sorry, Dinky. You startled me.” The mother rubbed Dinky’s blonde mane, messing it up slightly in the process.
“Mom!” Dinky shouted again, this time bothered by Derpy’s motherly love. She ran a hoof down her mane in hopes that her nicely brushed hair would not be so frazzled. Finished with her grooming, Dinky found her smile once more. “I wanted to wish you the best of luck.”
“Aww, thanks Dinky.” Both mother and daughter hugged, happy for each other.
“When you get there, tell me what the castle looks like!” Dinky beamed.
“Of course.” Once again, Derpy rubbed Dinky’s mane, her child grunting in irritation once more.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
“I got it!” Derpy exclaimed, stepping over the light-violet child, but ended up tripping over her instead, smacking her chin on the floor as a result. Despite the pain that shot through her jaw, Derpy was resilient and made for the hallway and overlooked the foyer.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Instead of using her wings to fly down toward the door, Derpy darted down the stairs. She did pay good money for her home and wanted to use every bit of it with her own four hooves. However, she tripped over her legs as she stepped down the second step, tumbling down to the first floor.
“D-Derpy…!?” a voice spoke from behind the door. “Are you alright!?”
Her eyes spun around in her head, dizzy from the fall. “I am fine Time Turner!” she called out, despite her now hurt head and jaw. At the top of the stairway, Dinky Hooves shook her head with an irritated frown. Why can’t you be careful, Mom? I worry every day might be your last.
Walking over to the door, Derpy Hooves opened it to see Time Turner looking rather flustered. “H-hello Derpy.” The brown stallion nervously rubbed the back of his head, having difficulty keeping his eyes on the gray pegasus.
“Hello yourself.” Derpy shivered a bit as the morning air chilled her bare body. She looked to the coat rack beside the door and saw her mailmare coat, quickly putting on to prevent any chances of obtaining a cold. “What brings you out of your lab?”
“Umm… well, since you are going to Canterlot on a special arrend, I…” Time Turner was slightly distracted by Dinky Hooves who stood at the top of the stairs, rolling her hoof to emphasize the stallion to get the right words out. “...I wish to wish you the best of luck.”
Derpy Hooves giggled a bit and pulled the stallion close for a nice embrace. “Well that was nice of you to go out of your way just to say this to me.” With her eyes not on him, Time Turner was facing Dinky who was mouthing the words, “Tell her.”
“I also… want to ask you something?”
“Hmm?” The mare broke contact from Time Turner and turned her head. “What is it?” The brown earth pony’s cheeks flared, caught in a daze by the pegasus’ cute charm. The moment Time Turner opened his mouth, a sound rang from the living room.
DONG! DONG! DONG! DONG!
“Oh my gosh!” Derpy exclaimed. “I need to get to work!” Looking back to her daughter, she exclaimed, “Be sure to lock up the house!”
“Sure thing mother…” Dinky grunted, shaking her head at the stallion.
In a quick motion, Derpy hugged the stallion and smiled at him. “Tell me what you were going to say later, okay?”
“A-alright…” In a blur of gray, the pegasus was off to work. Taking her time, Dinky Hooves walked down the stairs and right up to Time Turner.
“You and my mom are helpless…” she spoke, again, shaking her head.
Time Turner gave the filly a look of shock, punched in the gut by her words. “At least I tried!”
***
Parcel Post dragged his hooves on the earth as he approached his place of employment. The lunch with Happy Trails the day before went along nicely the day before; however, the two ponies did not end up as special someponies as Parcel Post was hoping. Despite his hurt feelings, the stallion was glad to know that the two were friends at this point, so nothing was lost in the end.
Bringing his key to the lock, Parcel Post gave it a twist.
...click…
Without warning, the door swung open and smacked the stallion square in the face. “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING!” Derpy exclaimed aloud. Passerbys looked with confusion at the boisterous mare, wondering why she had to be loud on Monday of all days. Derpy looked left and right, wondering where her boss went. Peering behind the door, the pegasus noticed Parcel Post’s face was glued to the door. “Oops… sorry boss…”
Popping his head off the door, Parcel Post staggered a bit before looking to his employee. “How… did you get inside?” he asked with confusion.
Grinning with glee, Derpy replied, “Weeeeeell, since you said the window I keep breaking was insured, I broke in to surprise you. And, I am also super excited for today.”
Peering into the post office, Parcel Post jaw almost hit the floor, but somehow amused with Derpy’s silly nature; it also got his mind off of Happy Trails. “Right…” he muttered. He was glad to see that there was no mess of glass on the floor, so it clued the stallion that his employee was not clueless; she was just… clever with her methods.
***
With the post office now open for business, Derpy stood by the door, bouncing in place with eager anticipation. “When is the courier going to arrive?”
Parcel Post scratched his chin, “I am not sure. Princess Celestia was not very specific about the time when said courier would arrive. However, she did mention that they will be here early this morning. So… just stay put and... “ The stallion looked to the one unbroken window to his left. “...don’t jump out the window in excitement if you see the courier; or think you see them for that matter.” Because that one is not insured…
“No worries!” Derpy saluted. “I will remain at this spot until we get a knock at the door.”
Several minutes pass as Parcel Post began placing mail in certain holders behind the front desk, preparing the orders that need to be delivered by days end. As for Derpy, she continued to wear a gleeful grin on her face. Thirty minutes go by and the workers of the Ponyville Post Office began to enter. Raindrops greeted the cross-eyed mare with a happy embrace and cheered her friend on before taking off with her own deliveries.
An hour slowly crawls by…
The front door opens up and Derpy Hooves flinches at its movement. A muscular light-brown stallion walks in, his hooves almost pounding on the ground as he walked toward the front desk. Derpy is slightly dazed by his amazing physique, and the pony almost resembled Time Turner. She giggled at the thought of Time Turner gaining a massive amount of muscle; probably in the name of science as he would put it.
“I have a delivery of three crates set fer Canterlot here,” he spoke, exhaustion deep in his voice.
“I have been expecting you, Mister...” Derpy spoke, turning the handsome stallion’s attention toward her. His emerald eyes almost knocked her off her feet.
“Payload.” The earth pony flashed a smile, and Derpy had to look away from his charming grin. “And I am glad you have been waitin’ here fer me, ‘cause I have been waitin’ to get rid of this cargo,” he grunted with a chuckle.
“If you need help, I can assist you with unloading the crates.” Once again, the pegasus took another good look at the stallion up and down, her cheeks flushed. “Then again, with someone as strong as you are, I wouldn’t mind just watching you lift… things.”
Payload chuckled, “Oh, I don’ wanna say I can handle everyin’ on my own. Besides, these three crates have been weighin’ me down fer miles. If it wouldn’t be too much to ask as to ask you fer yer help.”
“Anything for you,” Derpy responded, batting her eyes. She turned to her boss to ask Parcel Post if she could help him out, but her boss nodded without having to say a word. Both ponies left the store and over to Payload’s wagon. Derpy could now understand what the stallion meant by Payload wanting to get rid of the three crates he was pulling along.
Payload’s cart was held down, the bed of the wagon bending down a bit as three large crates stood out from the other cargo. Derpy Hooves turned to the stallion and asked, “It’s the big ones, yes?”
“Yup!” Payload lifted a brow at the mare. “Now, who is the one goin’ to deliver those insanely heavy packages?”
“That would be me!” Derpy looked at the large containers, not intimidated by its massive size, what may be inside them.
A look of shock fell upon Payload. “You!? I- ugh, I mean, I’m not saying you aren't strong. It’s just… well, those three crates are quite heavy and took a few stallions my size to lift em.’
Flexing her arm, Derpy gave Payload a soft grin. “Watch me move those boxes with ease.” The pegasus fanned out her wings and flew over to the cart, landing into the nearly full bed as it bounced slightly from her weight. The first crate was near the edge and Derpy chose that one to show the stallion her strength. Placing all of her weight on the wooden box, the mare began to push… and slowly began moving the crate.
Payload was in shock and worry as he watched the mare push the crate toward the end of his cart. He didn’t stop her before because he doubted her strength. But now being proven wrong, Payload briskly walked over to the mare. “Mam, don’ be pushin’ that package over the edge!”
His words, however, fell on deaf ears. “This is not that heavy,” Derpy spoke to Payload. “What’s in this thing anyways?” With the crate now more than halfway out of the cart, it rolled over and fell to the ground. A loud crash exploded from within the wooden box; the sound of glass breaking. As Derpy stood on the bed of the wagon, she noticed a wine glass with a small line through the cup, and the word “Fragile” was printed in bold red below the sticker on the surface of the crate.
The sound pulled Parcel Post outside, hoping the crashing of fragile objects was not caused by his employee. “What happened?!” He looked at Payload’s cart to see Derpy looking nervously at the box resting on the ground. With his eyes wide, Parcel Post asked Payload, “Please tell me that wasn’t her…”
Payload didn’t need to answer the pony with words, for he was biting his bottom lip in fear for the mare. “It was…” the stallion muttered in a cold voice. “To whom was that package supposed to be delivered to?”
“P-P-Princess C-Celestia...?” Both stallions stood in shock, not sure what to do with the situation at hoof. All they could do was ponder about the consequences that would reign upon Derpy Hooves.
Standing still, but tearing her eyes from the box, Derpy looked over to Parcel Post, ears shamefully leaning back. Somehow, she managed to grin nervously and chuckled, “At least there are two boxes that haven’t had their contents broken.” Another large crate sat behind Derpy and the mare looked at it, giving it a light buck. However, despite the harmless kick, the sound of breaking glass ruptured from within. Both Parcel Post and Payload sighed with disbelief, planting a hoof on their foreheads. “Umm… one left…?” Derpy squeaked. Again, a loud shatter ripped through the air. Scowling at the last box that decided to break whatever was in it, the pegasus yelled, “Aww, come on! I didn’t even touch you!”
Parcel Post grabbed his hat off his head and muttered into it, “Oh, what am I going to dooooooooo!?”
A hoof touched the earth pony’s shoulder. “I have a special message from Canterlot.” Removing his mail cap to show his shameful face, Parcel Post saw a white pegasus dressed in elegant armor exactly similar to the ones who stood by Princess Celestia on Saturday. In the guard’s hoof, the courier held an envelope.
I wonder if whatever entails on this letter will inform Derpy to be extremely careful with the contents inside the three crates. Parcel Post tore open the letter, daring himself to read what was written. Princess Celestia, forgive me, but what were you thinking? Unfolding the letter, the stallion began reading:
To Derpy Hooves,
I wish to thank you for accepting my task of delivering the three crates that are to arrive at Ponyville this morning. What I would like for you to do is to bring the three packages up to my throne room by any means necessary. As for the contents of what is inside the crates, do not worry about it, even if you hear an insane amount of crashing. Please have my packages in my throne room by late afternoon. Good luck.
My best wishes, Princess Celestia.
Parcel Post almost collapsed from relief, smiling at the princess’ message. “Oh thank Celestia! Literally!” he exclaimed hysterically, hugging the paper close to his breast. Derpy Hooves flew over to her employer, landing beside Payload, the two looking at each other with confusion. Payload looked back at Parcel Post as he resumed his laughter while Derpy gave Payload a good look over, still amazed by his muscles.
“What’s uhh, on the paper?” Payload asked. Regaining his composure, Parcel Post told him and Derpy what the letter entailed. The courier had already left without another word, perhaps needed back at the castle. “Ah, so yer just thankful that the princess don’t care about what happens about whatever is in those boxes. Thank goodness for that.”
“Yes… very good,” Derpy muttered, still staring at the light-brown stallion’s body. “No, great! Excellent! Amaz-” Her voice was cut off when she noticed Payload staring at her with a confused crease in the brow. Derpy’s cheeks flushed, and she straightened herself out, staring at Parcel Post. “A-as in, excellent luck! Hehe…”
Hooving the letter over to Derpy, Parcel Post spoke, “Well, you have Princess Celestia’s words here on this paper; have those three packages delivered to her throne room by this afternoon.”
“Yes sir!” Derpy salutes proudly, flying over the wagon, and began to push the other two off the cart.
He flinched at the sound of breaking glass and looked back, watching Derpy brush off her hooves as she muttered, “One to go…”
“And quite strong for a mare. N-not to say that is a bad thing!” Payload brushed the back of his head, not sure if he upset Parcel Post.
Parcel Post chuckled, “She is quite the strange and strong mare. And despite her character, along with Derpy’s clumsy nature, she is my best employee-”
“AGH!” Derpy screamed, and the two stallions looked to see what the commotion was about. When they saw her, she was standing on the ground, watching a buzzing insect angrily flying about the cart. “Stupid bee… Go away! I have an important delivery to make!”
Both Payload and Parcel Post laughed at her fright over one bee. “I bet she is quite the lively one, ain’t she?” A buzzing sound came near Payload’s ear before something hit it. He flinched when the bee that was bothering Derpy flew too close for comfort. “Egh…” he muttered while he watched it land on a flower at his hooves. Payload then turned his attention back at Parcel Post with a grin. “As I was sayin,’ that mare is sure lively.”
A shadow loomed over the two ponies as Derpy Hooves shouted with insane volume in her throat, “DIE YOU WINGED SPAWN OF CHRYSALIS!” In her hooves was one of the massive crates in her grasp, and the pegasus’ eyes were wide with animalistic rage.
Just before the crate crashed down on the ponies and insect, Parcel Post whimpered to Payload, “Lively is putting it lightly…”
Derpy flapped her wings in quick succession, traveling through the air with a cart in tow. With the three crates in the wagon, and the life of a nasty insect no longer existing, the mare was in good spirits.
The land below was like a small terrarium as Derpy made her way toward Canterlot. It never was a dull moment when the pegasus flew through the sky; most likely due to her clumsy nature. But when it didn’t intervene, Derpy was able to enjoy the small things in life, so long as those small things didn’t crash into her.
With the castle now close, the mare rose high into the air to see where she needed to land. A nice open patch of grass near the entrance of the castle. It took no time at all for Derpy to descend onto the castle ground. The grass tickled at her hooves as the mare removed the harness from her back.
FWEEEEEEET!
A whistle rang out in the air, startling the mare. She looked left, right, and then up. From the sky, a pegasus knight landed on the earth with a harsh thud. “Mam, make no sudden movements!” When the stallion got a good look at the pegasus, Derpy was standing on top of the front crate, as if she were to perform a pirouette. I… hope she isn't trying to test me…
“Wh-what seems to be the problem?” Derpy muttered, nervous about the sharp spear in the knight’s grasp.
Clearing his throat, the guard answered, “This is a restricted flight zone. There have been no reports that there will be a pegasus delivering packages to Canterlot Castle by air.”
“B-b-but I need to deliver these packages to Princess Celestia.” Derpy spoke, wobbling on her one back hoof. "She told me to get these to her throne room by any means necessary.”
Suddenly the guard tensed up. “Wait, what is your name? Do you have some form of identification?”
“Can I move first?” Derpy pleaded, starting to lose her balance. Beads of sweat were forming at her brow, trying to concentrate to steady her leg. Her muscles were burning from the constant pressure of standing with one hoof.
“You may.” With the guards permission, Derpy allowed herself to fall onto the grass face first. Derpy dug through her pockets, trying to find her i.d. and show the guard she was no intruder.
FWEEEEEET!
Another whistle tore through the castle grounds as another pony charged toward Derpy and the guard. “You there!” the unicorn shouted. She skidded to a halt and glared at the mailmare. Her mane was a red-rose color, short and curly, and her fur was a goldenrod shade, bright and yellow. She wore what looked to be a sharp police officer outfit, and an even sharper stare. The badge on her shirt read, Officer Red Curls.
Red Curls pulled out a pad and began scribbling on it. “Mam, you do realize this is a restricted flight zone, right?”
“I… do now thanks to him,” Derpy muttered, pointing at the guard in front of her.
The officer tore the paper from the pad and lightly smacked it on Derpy’s shoulder as it stuck to her. Derpy read the paper over and realized what it was. “A fine!?”
“You are being loud…” Red Curls grumbled. She scribbled onto her pad and placed another ticket on Derpy; this time, on her chest. “That's for disorderly conduct; shouting in the palace.”
Derpy looked at the pegasus guard who was staring dumbfounded at the two mares. “A little help would be nice! Tell her I needed to show you my I.D!”
Taking a step forward, the guard gave a kind smile, “Officer Red Curls, I have this under control.”
However, the hot tempered earth pony did not like his words. “Why have you not arrested this fugitive?” Fugitive is a harsh word, don't you think…?
The guard looked over Derpy. “We just need to verify who she is before passing judgement.” Red Curls scribbled on her pad, tore it off, and gave the white pegasus a light smack on the cheek, the ticket sticking to his face.
“That's for aiding a criminal.” Derpy couldn't take the rude officer’s attitude, and took the fine from the guard’s face and crumpled it into a ball.
“My name is Derpy Hooves if that is what you are trying to find out,” the pegasus spoke to the guard. He tensed up at the mere mention of her name. With courage in her breast, Derpy lobbed the ball of paper at the officer’s face and leered at Red Curls. “The guard here was doing a fine job until you showed up.”
Once more, Red Curls scribbled on her pad, muttering, “Assault… on officer…” Her eyes peered at the paper ball that rested on the grass. “...and littering… in the Canterlot… Castle grounds…” Red Curls’ eyes met with Derpy’s, both mares wielding fire in their stares.
Before the situation could get any worse, a voice that rivaled that booming clap of thunder roared, “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS BICKERING IN MY SISTER’S DOMAIN!?”
All three ponies flinched at the voice, looking up to see a dark-blue alicorn descend from the sky. She gracefully landed in the ground, as her night sky-like mane drifted with an invisible breeze.
“Princess Luna!” Red Curls and the guard exclaimed, bowing in respect and fear. Suddenly, Derpy realized what they had just said, and bowed as well, slamming her face hard on the grass.
Looking to the guard, the princess asked, “Is this the mare who is delivering my sister’s packages?”
“I- I was just about to verify that,” he answered as beads of sweat formed at his brow.
“You there, gray one!” Luna’s voice was full of authority and Derpy sprang her head up.
“Yeff prinfeffs?” Derpy mumbled as she saluted, her mouth full of dirt and grass. Amused, the alicorn cracked a smile.
“My sister did say to be on the lookout for a… unique pegasus.” Luna squinted at Derpy, observing her cross-eyed feature. “Are you able to see normally, despite your vision being slightly altered?”
Derpy spat out the clump of dirt and grass before answering, “This is my normal face, even if it doesn't seem that way.”
“So it seems.” Like the sun setting in the west, Princess Luna’s happy smile left her and a cold stare fell upon the officer. “Officer…” The princess read her badge. “...Red Curls.”
“Yes, princess!” Red Curls straightened herself, wondering why the alicorn was glaring at her so bitterly.
“Why are you, a local law enforcer who should be patrolling the city, here in the castle grounds?” Luna raised a brow, expecting an answer.
“I-I saw that mare fly into the castle grounds, and as all law personnel know, only registered ponies are allowed to fly into Canterlot Castle. A-and if there is to be a pegasus, such as Miss Derpy here, were to deliver anything by air to the Canterlot Castle, every patrol officer, guard, and any other law enforcer is notified the day before.” Red Curls looked at the green grass, shivering at Luna’s presence. “And… I was not informed of Miss Derpy’s arrival. So I… fined her. Several times in fact.” She then swallowed, “...along with giving the guard beside her a ticket as well.”
“And what were their crimes?” Red Curls couldn't get the answers out, and instead, remained still. “Miss Red, as much as I appreciate your care for this kingdom, I wish for you to stay to your normal position as a patrol officer and not come onto the castle grounds unless requested; the guards here can do a nice job with apprehending criminals who dare trespass.”
Derpy looked at the guard while the princess lectured the officer. “Do you want to see my I.D, just to make sure I am who I am?”
“If you are Derpy Hooves, then you will be cleared of any suspicion that I have about you.” With her question answered, the mare pulled out her I.D. to the guard. Without warning, something buzzed passed by Derpy’s face, and shrieked when she saw that it was a bee.
Princess Luna and Red Curls looked to see what the commotion was and saw the pegasus leering at the insect on the ground. Derpy noticed all eyes on her, and blushed. “Sorry, I don't like bees…”
Luna saw the small thing on a small flower, collecting pollen. A dark glow radiated from Princess Luna’s horn, the mare looking… murderous. “I dislike them greatly as well…” A blast of magic was fired at a blinding speed, smashing the ground, leaving a crater of where the bee and flower were. Derpy and the guard flinched, their eyes wide at the hole where smoke drifted into the air.
“...In short…” Luna resumed her lecture, as if the pest issue was nothing more than dust on her hooves, “leave the guards to do their business. As for their fines, erase them. Understand, officer?”
“Y-yes, princess!” Red Curls bowed. Before leaving she castle grounds, she spoke to Derpy, “Forgive my… nasty attitude. I take my job very seriously.”
Derpy Hooves couldn't hold that fact against Red Curls and gave a friendly gesture. “It's okay. I know what you mean.”
No longer feeling the need to stay, Officer Red Curls left. The guard approached the princess and said, “I have just verified with our guest that she is indeed Derpy Hooves, here to deliver Princess Celestia’s packages.”
“I never had my doubts that she wasn’t,” Luna imputed. She smiled at the mailmare. “Now with her no longer bothering you, you may take those three containers to my sister’s throne room.”
“Understood!” Derpy saluted. “Now… where is the throne room?”
Thanks to Princess Luna, Derpy Hooves knew exactly where to go. The princess had to attend to other matters about the castle and had to leave Derpy on her own. Slowly, the mailmare pushed a crate through the castle entrance, grunting with every shove. Every guard the mare pushed watched in silence, almost wanting to assist the struggling pony. However, they had a post to attend, and would rather save themselves a lecture from the guard captain… or worse.
Taking a break, Derpy Hooves stopped her pushing and looked at the path ahead. Before her was a staircase dressed in red carpeting, and at the base of the steps were two white guards, much like the one who stopped the pegasus outside.
Her jaw nearly smacked the ground, intimidated by the obstacle. And yet, Derpy puffed out her chest with pride, knowing what had to be done. This box may be heavy and large, but I will not let Princess Celestia down!
Pushing it to the base of the stairs, Derpy started to walk up them, counting each step. “Thirty-five,” she said, looking down to the froyer. Flying down to the box, the mare began her struggle.
Standing on the stairs, Derpy lifted with all her might, getting the edge of the crate up the first step. The next few steps were not as stressful as the first, but it was still difficult. Derpy couldn't remember the last time she had to exhaust herself this much. Regardless of the past, it was not helping her with the task at hoof.
Thinking it was enough of a lift up the stairs, the mare quickly moved to the first floor and gave the crate a hard shove. To her great pleasure, the box began to move, sliding upwards as she pushed. However, the box was pushing against her, giving Derpy more stress than she needed.
Derpy didn't know how far she was pushing before her strength started to fail. Oh no… I… I can't… No! I… can! Her own words of encouragement was not enough to maintain her strength, and Derpy Hooves stepped aside, letting the heavy crate fall. It bounced a little, the contents inside smashing and breaking, then fell onto the guard on the stairs’ left.
“Oh my goodness!” Derpy dashed for the box, her adrenaline taking control of her instincts. She looked over to the other guard who looked as though he didn't care for his comrade. “What are you doing?” she yelled. “He could be hurt! What am I saying… Of course he is hurt!”
Again, she attempted to flip the heavy package. And soon, it began to lift. The guard below used his one arm to remove the crate from himself with ease, somehow not as hurt as one may assume. Thank goodness I'm an Strong Arm, he thought to himself, shrugging his shoulders.
Without warning, the mare crashed into him, sprawling Arm Strong onto his back and smacking his head on the tile floor. “Mister, are you okay?” The blow to his head dazed the guard, and his ability to reply was impaired. Derpy Hooves rested her ear on his chest plate, listening for a pulse. But no such sound was made.
“Oh my gosh! I killed him!” Thinking to resolve her predicament, Derpy remembers watching a movie about doctors using a defibrillator in order to start up a heart. Electricity! “D-don't die on me now!” Derpy screamed, darting for the exit. “I'll come back for you!”
Chuckling to himself, the standing guard asked, “Hey Arm Strong, you doing alright?”
Gathering himself onto all fours, Arm Strong rubbed the back of his head, “You know, Keen Eye, I never thought I would be taken out by a mare.”
“Now all you have to do is get one to ask you on a date,” Keen Eye laughed.
“Oh shut up…” Arm Strong looked around, wondering where the pegasus went. “Umm… do you know-”
“Don't you die on me!” a voice shouted. A gray mass moved into the castle, quickly approaching Arm Strong. Derpy Hooves ran the thunder cloud above the guard, unaware of his consciousness. Preparing to buck the cloud, she cried out, “Clear!” With all of her might, Derpy kicked the gray cloud hard. Electricity spat from below, shocking Arm Strong with intense voltage. He twitched as the electricity shot through his system before falling over.
Keen Eye was now worried about his ally and quickly flew over to Arm Strong. Derpy shoved him out of the way, scowling at Keen Eye. “Now you’re worried about him?! Sorry, but I am saving his life.”
Arm Strong’s mouth was wide open, still stunned and unable to move. Derpy stood over Arm Strong, and took a deep breath. “If the kiss of life doesn't work, I don't know what will!” Arm Strong flushed, not sure if having this mare perform C.P.R. on him was a bad thing.
Derpy blew hard into Arm Strong’s mouth, air snorting out of the guard’s nostrils. She pushed hard on his chest before resuming her “rescue.”
Taking him by the shoulders, Derpy looked at him with tears beading at the corner of her eyes. “Are you there!?” she cried desperately. Thankfully for Arm Strong, he blinked. “You’re alive!” Derpy was filled with glee and tightly hugged the guardspony.
Somehow, Arm Strong couldn't break free from the mare’s grasp and began to suffocate. If I don't free myself, this mare might actually kill me! With every ounce of strength he had, Arm Strong muttered, “You can… let me… go…” Arm Strong almost fell over, taking deep breaths the moment Derpy released him.
“I'm so sorry…” Derpy spoke shamefully.
A hoof tapped her shoulder and Keen Eye said, “He was fine from the beginning.” Keen Eye pointed at his friend. “That stallion is Arm Strong; nothing can crush him.”
“Almost…” Arm Strong commented, his eyes firmly on Derpy.
“Oh…” Derpy grinned bashfully and worried if she bothered the guard.
Arm Strong knew the mare meant no harm, despite how she created more harm than good. “Worry not, for I have accepted your apology.” His smile was more than enough to lift the mailmare’s spirits.
“Thanks Mr. Arm Strong!” She then realized how much time has been wasted. “Now I hate to leave you two right away, but I need to get back to work. This crate isn't going to push itself.”
Keen Eye and Arm Strong looked at each other with concern, then eyed the mare. “Are you sure you don't need any help?” Keen Eye asked before gesturing to his friend. “My friend could possibly help you with that heavy crate.”
Arm Strong shot a hard stare at his friend, bothered with how he was being forced to volunteer. Then again, a single mare shouldn't bare too much weight on her shoulders, in more ways than one.
“Thanks but no thanks,” Derpy disagreed, shaking her head to the offer. “Princess Celestia told me to personally deliver this crate to her throne room personally.”
If I remember correctly, I heard the contents within that box break... I sure hope the princess knows what she is doing. Keen Eye simply shrugged, “As you wish, Mam.”
A bundle of rope dangled in Derpy’s mouth, the mare breathing heavily through her nostrils. She walked around the crate, looping the rope around it, and tied a knot. That should help with moving this package up the stairs, Derpy thought, now making a knot around her waist.
Arm Strong and Keen Eye stood back at their original posts, trying to keep their stares forward, but couldn't help but waver their gazes. Arm Strong wanted to help the mailmare with his never weakening strength, but felt his position was more important.
Derpy pushed the crate a ways back, fifty feet away from the staircase. The rope was now strung around the massive box and mare. A grin grew on Derpy’s lips, and leered at the stairs. “Alright stairs, it's me: your worst nightmare.” Keen Eye rolled his eyes, quietly laughing inward.
A few paws at the red carpet, then a quick dash forward, Derpy charged, fanning her wings, running as fast as she could. She was expecting the rope to grasp her waist. Unfortunately, her knot was not strong enough and it easily broke loose. Without the rope and weight of the crate, Derpy was sent careening toward Arm Strong, crashing hard into him. Luckily, his helmet smacked against the wall, protecting the stallion’s head. Everything else hurt.
Once again, Arm Strong lay sprawled on his back. Derpy slowly got up, eyes spinning. She blinked, but her yellow iris’ pointed in different directions. “I'm so sorry Mr. Arm Strong!” Derpy blurted out, picking up the pegasus with ease.
He shook his head, despite the pain in his shoulder. “I am alright Mam.”
“Are you sure?” Arm Strong didn't appear to look injured, but Derpy wanted to be extra sure.
“Positive.” Just try not to harm me anymore…
The words were enough to please Derpy, and she was right back to business. This time, the mailmare made sure the rope was knotted several times. A second attempt was now in order.
Derpy charged toward the stairs, now lifting into the air. The tug finally came, grasping her belly. She grunted by the force, but didn't stop herself from batting her wings. The box slowly moved across the carpet, then began to ascend the stairs. A whistle escaped Keen Eye, impressed with Derpy’s strength.
A quick glance over her shoulder told Derpy she was nearly halfway there. Snapping her neck forward, she wasn't expecting a spider to be hovering in front of her face. Its eight eyes blinked nervously, giving Derpy a friendly wave.
That didn't stop her from screaming. “SPIDER!” The arachnid squeaked, scrambling up its thin strand of web. In her moment of screaming, Derpy’s wings ceased flapping. The box yanked her backwards, onto Arm Strong’s back. “Oh, sorry…”
He shook his head, slightly bruised by her fall, but unaffected regardless. “Not a problem.” A shadow loomed over the two ponies, the crate descending onto them.
Keen Eye stood still, not sure if the mare was hurt. His question was answered when he heard Derpy speak from beneath the crate, “Sorry Mr. Arm Strong… again…”
***
Several minutes pass by and still no sign of the mailmare. Keen Eye and Arm Strong stood still at their original post. The massive crate sat alone in the open, unattended by its deliverer.
Derpy told the two she would be returning with a tool that will aid her in getting the box up the steps. Arm Strong was at an impasse; he wanted to aid the pegasus with her delivery, but did not think it would be wise to leave his post unguarded. An intruder may attempt to sneak past Keen Eye without the extra pair of eyes.
A figure enters the hall and both Keen Eye and Arm Strong stare at the pony. “I’m back!” Derpy cried. Something bulged from her back and a long plank was tied down to her as well.
Carefully, the mailmare walked toward the crate as if walking on a tightrope. Arm Strong thought she would topple over, but was proven wrong quickly.
Derpy stood at the base of the stairs, looking up to the upper level. Upon further inspection, Arm Strong noticed a large log sat upon her back. What in the world is this mare up to?
“Alright,” Derpy spoke low, but it was enough for the guards to hear, “let's get this set up.” Derpy spun around to grab at the end of the rope.
The large plank swung and struck Arm Strong in the cheek. “Oh darn, I missed…” Oh you didn't me that is for- Before he could react, the plank smacked the guard again. “Pesky rope!” This time, Arm Strong was prepared and managed to stop the plank before yet another injury occurred.
“Mam,” he spoke through his teeth, stepping forward, “let me help you.”
Oblivious to Arm Strong’s beaten face and angry expression, Derpy shook her head and smiled, “No thanks, I got this.” In a quick lunge, the mailmare made for a grab for the rope’s end, and in the process, the plank whacked Arm Strong in the back of the head.
“Got it!” She twerked her body, spinning the elongated wood. The guard saw the plank fly at his face. Arm Strong ducked and watched it spin away. Unfortunately, the other end of the plank blindsided him and struck his side, knocking him over.
The log and plank fell off Derpy’s back and the pony gave a long stretch before noticing the toppled stallion.
“Oh goodness!” She helped him up onto all fours and frowned at Arm Strong. “I'm sorry I hit you…”
The mailmare’s dizzy goldenrod eyes captivated the tough guard and couldn't help but forgive her instantly. “I am fine; I can take a hit. After all, I am still standing after everything that has happened.” And somehow you are as well.
Derpy scratched the back of her head, a shy grin growing. “This type of stuff happens to me all the time.”
“Well, just be careful from now on.” I think I just tested fate…
The device Derpy set up was primitive; cliche even. The large crate rested on one side of the makeshift seesaw, facing away from the staircase. Derpy stood on the other end, slightly pressing her weight down, making sure everything was secure.
Too bad Arm Strong didn't believe anything about the seesaw was anything but secure. How in the world is she going to get the crate up the stairs with that?
Derpy stepped off the plank and briskly walked up the stairs. She overlooked her setup, adjusting herself to be center with the target in mind. “Let's do this!” The mare began to back up until she had a healthy amount of running space. Then, she charged.
Arm Strong wanted to look back, curious about the mailmare’s strategy, but kept his head forward. To the left, Arm Strong noticed Keen Eye staring at him. “Keep your eyes on the castle and not me.”
“But there is something wrong with your post,” Keen Eye replied, his eye quickly glancing elsewhere.
“And what would that be?” No warning was given when Derpy crashed onto Arm Strong’s back.
"Your post seems to be quite hazardous," Keen Eye smirked.
“Darn!” The mailmare swung her hoof in frustration, wishing the air was solid enough to punch. “I misjudged my jump.”
Under her flank of steel and pain, Arm Strong craned his head toward Keen Eye. “Can we swap our positions?”
Derpy quickly removed herself from Arm Strong and asked him, “Am I upsetting you?” Derpy’s frown grasped Arm Strong’s heart and he couldn’t be angered by her sorry, cute, and silly expression.
“N-no,” he said, his throat cracking. “I just think I should give you some space to do your delivery. After all, you seem to have various tactics in moving packages.”
“Princess Celestia did tell me to get these to her throne room by any means necessary,” said Derpy. A pang of worry struck Arm Strong, and he wondered if his life would be claimed because of the princess’ ‘by any means necessary’ demand. He quickly came up with a solution that may prevent anymore harm done to him.
“How about I take a few steps over away from my post a little and allow you your space to do your delivery?” Arm Strong suggested. “That way, I will be less likely to get crushed… again.”
Derpy pursed her lips in thought, then smiled, “That sounds like a great idea!” Keen Eye squinted at Arm Strong, knowing very well that moving from one’s post can lead to negative consequences. But Arm Strong had made up his mind and moved away from the stairway.
“I think you will be safe from my shenanigans,” said Derpy with a giggle. I pray to Princess Celestia that is true, thought Arm Strong.
Derpy looked at the box sitting alone, the object waiting to be delivered. “Alrighty! Time to return to work!” Her wings fanned out and the mare flew to the top of the stairs. Derpy tried to keep her right eye focused on the plank, but her eye kept rolling around in her head. After some time, the pegasus managed to hold focus.
Here goes nothing! “FOR PONYVILLE’S MAIL SERVICE!” Derpy cried. With knees bent and determination clenched in her breast, Derpy leapt into the air. The mare dove toward the upward side of the plank, all four hooves ready to stomp down on her target. Derpy’s hooves pounded on the jetting plank and sent the large crate soaring through the air. Both Arm Strong and Keen Eye watched the object lift into the air. It landed at the top of the stairs with a loud crash, the contents breaking and shattering from within.
“I did it!” Derpy exclaimed.
“She did it!” both Keen Eye and Arm Strong replied in unison. The guardsponies looked at one another and let out a laugh, surprised Derpy’s plan went through.
Derpy looked over at Arm Strong and said, “Hey, look! You didn’t get hurt this time!”
Arm Strong rolled his eyes, “Thankfully…”
With her obstacle cleared, Derpy proudly walked up the stairs and began to push to box down another hall. “Time to give Princess Celestia her package!” she exclaimed as she disappeared into the castle halls.
Arm Strong returned to his post before anypony could see him out of position. Keen Eye shook his head, a smirk wide on his face. “What’s got you smiling?” Arm Strong asked. “My misfortune?”
“I wonder how the mailmare is going to react to the massive flight of stairs to the throne room,” Keen Eye replied.
In a matter of seconds, the two guards heard Derpy cry out, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”
Unable to control himself, nor allow the mailmare to struggle any further, Arm Strong walked up the stairs. “Where are you going!” Keen Eye shouted.
Arm Strong chuckled, having the last laugh, “You said before that I could help her with lifting the crate.”
***
“Thanks for insisting on helping me get this crate up the stairs,” Derpy beamed. The mare hovered over Arm Strong as the stallion easily pushed the crate up the long flight of stairs.
“I just felt that it was time somepony gave you a helping hoof,” Arm Strong replied, not feeling winded in the slightest. “You also looked like you needed a break.”
Derpy gave her arms a good stretch and agreed, “Indeed.” The long staircase was easily conquered with very little effort for both mailmare and guard. The large throne room doors towered over Derpy, making her feel smaller. “Princess Celestia sure does love a big door to her personal room,” she said.
“It helps emphasise strength and height of power,” said Arm Strong. He walked down the hallway and opened the door to the throne room. “After you,” he said, his voice echoing off the walls.
Instead of taking the crate along with her, Derpy walked into the throne room. It was her first time entering where Princess Celestia sits, and Derpy wanted to take in everything. A long rug ran to a pair of large chairs, which Derpy assumed one was for Princess Celestia, and the other was for Princess Luna. Large windows allowed the sun to illuminate the room in a bright spectacle. Derpy assumed the alicorn was almost always propped up on her throne, sitting proud with her graceful stature. Instead, the alicorn was on all four hooves standing beside a white unicorn.
The pegagus’ entrance alerted Princess Celestia and the unicorn, breaking them from whatever talk they were having. “Ah, you have arrived,” the princess smiled. “Have you brought what I have requested?”
“I’ve got the first package right behind me!” Derpy gestured to where the large box was sitting. “It was quite the challenge, but I had Mr. Arm Strong assist me.”
The unicorn beside the princess gave Arm Strong a stern look, “Aren’t you supposed to be posted somewhere?”
“I-I’ve been stationed at the base of the stairway, in front of the castle entrance,” Arm Strong answered, following a “Ms. Raven” out of respect.
“Raven, you shouldn’t worry,” Princess Celestia said. “I did tell Derpy Hooves here to get the packages here by any means necessary. If she needed somepony’s help, then by all means, she can use a single guard.”
“I suppose,” Raven said. She pushed up her spectacles and asked, “Derpy, if that is an okay name to call you by?”
“Mmhmm,” Derpy nodded.
“Right. Might you bring forth the package?” Raven then looked to Arm Strong. “You may leave.”
“Yes, mam!” the guard saluted. Derpy passed him before he even moved, but he caught up with her with haste in his step. “Did you say this was the first package?” Arm Strong asked.
“Yup yup!” Derpy beamed. “Now, I know what you are thinking, but I don’t need your help with the other two crates. I think I have an easy way on getting them here to the throne room now that I got a system that worked for me just a while ago.” Arm Strong’s eyes widened, and he worried if he had to endure more rounds of being crushed by other crates. A pat on the shoulder brought him out of his frightened state. “Trust me, Mr. Arm Strong. I know what I am doing.”
Arm Strong cracked a light smile, and nodded before leaving without another word. Derpy shrugged, not bothered that the guard didn’t say goodbye. She assumed he needed to get back to his post before Raven gave Arm Strong another mean look. Still filled with strength, the mailmare shoved the crate into the throne room. “That’s quite some strength you have to push that,” Raven said.
“It comes with the job,” Derpy said. She smiled when she stopped pushing the large crate, glad one of the three boxes was where it needed to be. Derpy rounded the crate and approached the princess. “Here is the first,” the pegasus bowed.
“Lucky for you, you have a few more hours to get the others here,” said the princess.
“By the way,” Derpy began, “what is in this crate, or rather in the crates you are having me bring? I mean, whatever is in it is now broken. Was that your intention? To have whatever was inside break?”
“Do you know what a glass mural is?” Raven asked.
Derpy scratched her head before replying, “Isn’t it a picture made of pieces of glass?”
“Correct,” Princess Celestia answered. “That crate is full of colored panes of glass. Or rather, it was filled with panes of glass. Thanks to your clever delivery ways, the glass is nice and smashed in this one I assume. Once all three crates are here, I will have glass mural artists pick out the most appropriate pieces of glass for what I am requesting.”
Derpy let out an exaggerated “OOOOHHHHH,” the truth about the crates and their contents. “Wow, that makes so much sense! What is the mural going to be about?”
“I believe you are aware of the unicorn by the name of Twilight Sparkle who lives in Ponyville,” Raven said. Derpy nodded, remembering the party Pinkie Pie set up for the Twilight. “The glass mural is going to feature Twilight Sparkle and her friends defeating Nightmare Moon.”
“It will also be a reminder that anypony can be reclaimed by what is right,” Princess Celestia continued. “And I am glad my sister has seen that.” The alicorn formed a soft smile on her lips, her eyes closed in thought.
“I am happy for you, princess,” Derpy beamed.
“Thank you,” said Princess Celestia.
“It makes us all happy to see the two regal sisters reunited,” Raven smiled. “And the mural is going to be placed over there.” Raven gestured to the middle window to Derpy’s left. “The window there is facing the west, exactly pointing where the sun sets. A positive notion of Princess Luna seeing the light.”
Just the idea of what the glass mural might look like motivated Derpy to get the other crates even faster than the first. Derpy turned around and said, “Now that I know the true reason behind this delivery, I will be sure your request is completed within one hour!”
“Oh, don’t overwork yourself,” the alicorn reassured. “Just be sure the other two crates are here by the afternoon.”
Derpy shook her head, “But this mural is more than just Twilight Sparkle and her friends defeating Nightmare Moon. This is about your sister! And as a loyal subject to the regal sisters, I will work even harder until my task has been finished.”
The alicorn beamed, “I am overjoyed to see such a pony willing to work above and beyond what is expected of you.” Princess Celestia looked at Raven, “Reminds me of a certain pony who helps me keep everything organized.”
Raven flushed, “I’m just doing my job, princess.” The unicorn’s ears fell back, humbled by Princess Celestia’s compliment. Raven turned her attention toward Derpy, no longer wanting to be flustered in front of company. “Speaking of doing jobs, whenever you wish, you may leave to receive the remaining two crates.”
“Yes, mam!” Derpy soluted. The gray walked with motivation in her step, ready to finish the task in under sixty minutes. At the top of the staircase, Derpy scratched her chin, pondering how to get the last two boxes to the throne room in. She told Arm Strong not to assist her with the other boxes, so he was out of the question. What to do… she thought. From below, something moved into view. A large crate. And Arm Strong was the one pushing that large crate.
Derpy’s wings sprung from her hips and the mare darted at Arm Strong. She landed on top of the box and looked down at the guard with an angry stare. “What are you doing?”
“Umm… helping…” Arm Strong answered.
“No, you are doing my job without me asking for your help.” The mailmare’s eyes told Arm Strong she takes her position very seriously. And lying to her now would only cause more trouble.
“I just… don’t want to end up getting hurt by… your methods,” Arm Strong admitted.
“Then just tell me that!” Derpy hopped off the box and got very close to the guard. But instead of leering, the pegasus smiled, “It was really sweet of you to help me earlier and I am sorry I injured you from before. All you had to do was be honest with me.”
“I know... I didn’t want to upset you is all,” Arm Strong said. “You do seem to be a very nice mare.”
Derpy giggled into her hoof, “And you seem to be quite the gentlepony.”
Arm Strong adjusted himself, ready to push the heavy crate. “Then will you allow me to be a gentlepony just the one last time?”
“Thanks, but no thanks,” Derpy said with the shake of her head.
“But I insist,” Arm Strong said as he started to push the crate up the stairs.
“Hey, I said no!” Derpy began to push against the box, attempting to stop the guard’s advance. But his strength was too much for the pegasus. Derpy flew around the crate and began to pull on Arm Strong’s tail. “Let me do my job! The princess requested me to deliver three crates by any means. And that means that I want to do it my way!”
The pain of having his tail tugged at didn’t hinder Arm Strong. “Why are you so resistant? Just let me help you.” In no time, he was at the top of the stairs. The moment he stopped pushing the crate, a pair of eyes leered at him. “Why don’t you need my help, aside from wanting to do it your way?” Arm Strong argued with Derpy.
“Because now I know what is inside the crates: glass. And because of my ways of delivery, I will make sure everything inside is as broken as possible.”
No wonder she wasn't careful with the last one.In a calmer voice, Arm Strong said, “Now just relax, mam. I understand your passion for aiding the princess and your job. But asking for help is not a crime.”
“You are right…” Derpy admitted.
“Again, I will say that I was wrong when I didn’t tell you I wasn’t fine with being hurt. So I will be honest with you: I don’t want to get hurt and I think it would benefit you if I help.” Arm Strong grinned, “It is my job to aid Equestirian Citizens, along with Princess Celestia after all.”
Derpy hummed to herself, realizing her error in not allowing Arm Strong to help, causing him to get hurt more than she realized. “Okay,” she smiled. “You can help with this one. After that, I will handle the last one. I have an idea to get the last package into the throne room myself.”
Arm Strong rose a brow, “But how can I help you with this one if it is already here at the throne room?” Derpy rammed into the large crate and the box rolled down the stairs. The sound of glass exploded from within with each roll the crate made. It made it to the bottom of the stairs in a matter of seconds, quickly stopping after ramming into the wall. “Why did you do that?!”
“Because I need to make sure the glass in that box is extra broken,” said Derpy. “That’s why I didn’t want anypony’s help in the first place. But because of this large flight of stairs, I think I managed to get everything nice and damaged.”
Arm Strong wanted to complain about having to push the crate back up the flight of stairs again, but remembered he wanted to help her out in the first place. “I’ll go get it.”
***
Derpy walked outside the castle doors, waving back at Arm Strong. The guard returned to his post after assisting Derpy with the last crate. With two crates out of the way, the mailmare had to deal with one last package. She stood in front of her cart, the crate sitting alone in the warm daylight. Derpy pondered about the contents within the box, wondering if she needed to break the glass within as much as she has with the other two.
“I think the first two boxes are all nice and smashed…” the pegasus thought aloud. “Maybe the mural artists need some bigger pieces. But how will I get this last one to the throne room without breaking the glass as much as the first two?” Derpy pondered and pondered, her hooves scratching at the ground as if to unearth an idea. She looked back at the castle, and saw a large window on a tower. Derpy gasped, “I got it!”
***
Princess Celestia sat at her throne, her eyes firmly on the window where the glass mural is planned to be made. Her walking schedule planner, Raven, paced back and fourth with impatience. “Dear Raven,” the princess spoke, “you shouldn't worry. The window demolition experts will arrive at any moment.”
The comment didn't make Raven relaxed one bit. “Those stallions were scheduled to be here an hour ago! They should know the severity of being late for the princess!”
“Do you wish to have them arrested for not being here when requested?” Celestia asked with a smile.
“That would make you a dictator, princess…”
“Then have faith. They will arrive. Besides, it shouldn't take very long to break a window.” Princess Celestia stood from her throne. “If I wanted, I would have already broken the window myself with a simple rock. But I'd rather have somepony else do that for me. It's also an action not fit for a princess.”
Arguing with the princess is something Raven never liked to do and the unicorn avoided it as much as possible. The only time it was appropriate was when she and Princess Celestia do argue is when the alicorn wishes to do something on her own, when Raven has something scheduled that overlaps with the princess’ request. Of course, waiting for somepony who was late always made Raven’s nerves ache. But since the princess has nothing else planned for the day, other than seeing the glass mural get worked on, Raven attempted to remain patient.
A knock at the window broke Raven out of her irritated mood. She looked to see Derpy Hooves knocking on the glass, giving a friendly wave. “Ah, the mailmare,” Princess Celestia said. She noticed Derpy was harnessed to a cart that had a large crate in the trunk. “I do believe that is the last box she has there.”
Raven creased her brows, “But how is she going to get it inside? The only way she could possibly get that large box is through the entrance of the castle.” Princess Celestia and Raven watched Derpy turn the cart around, the end facing the window. “She does know that the window does not open, yes?” Before the unicorn could react, a white bubble surrounded Raven. She looked at the princess with a confused look, wondering why she was engulfed in a shield. Then, a loud crash ruptured the quiet throne room. Shards of glass showered over Raven, but the shield protected her from any harm. She spun around to see the wagon rammed through the window. “What in the world to you think you are-” Derpy shoved the last crate off the cart and the heavy thing fell toward Raven. Again, the shield kept Raven safe from sharp stabbing glass and heavy crushing boxes.
“All three boxes delivered before afternoon completed!” Derpy exclaimed. Raven looked to Princess Celestia, expecting he alicorn to have some visible sign of irritation. Instead, Princess Celestia just smiled.
“Are you in the slightest upset, princess?” Raven asked.
“Of course not,” Princess Celestia said. “That window she broke is going to be used for the glass mural. And since the glass demolitionists are not here, it is best that we already have somepony getting a head start on breaking the window.” The princess lifted the shield and levitated Raven over to her, not wanting her organizer to step over sharp glass.
“You sure do know how to make the best out of a situation,” said Raven in a low tone. Derpy flew over to the princess and bowed, this time not slamming her face on the ground.
“Thank you, Derpy,” Princess Celestia said. “You have done me proud with your methods in delivering the three crates I have requested.” Derpy blushed as pride flooded her heart. “I believe I will be needing you in the near future when I need another glass mural to be made.”
Derpy squealed with glee, happy the princess has acknowledged her hard work and is willing to use the mailmare’s services in the near future. “Thank you, Princess Celestia! Whenever you need another delivery of broken glass, you know just the mare to do it!” Raven was uneasy with Princess Celestia’s decision choice to use Derpy as a form of delivery. But Raven knew the princess had much more years on her life and knew how to make decisions; even if Raven disagreed.
"Well, Derpy," Raven began, "I do believe there is no more work for you to be done. You are dismissed."
“Alright, everypony,” said Hang Glider with a smirk, “place your bets. Ten bits per bet.” The Ponyville Post Office employees surrounded the small break room table, throwing their coins on the table. Somepony stood at the whiteboard, writing down the bets being exclaimed. In bold lettering at the top of the whiteboard said: Derpy’s Canterlot Bet.
“I bet she will lose the three boxes somehow,” said a stallion.
“I say she crushes the princess with a box,” interjected a mare.
“Something tells me Derpy will get lost, even though the castle is visible from outside,” laughed a pegasus. As the pony’s placed their bits and shouted their bets, the list got ridiculous very quickly. Somepony went very far with their bet, saying she will be ejected from the castle by one of the princesses themselves. The only pony who was not partaking in betting against Derpy was Sunshower Raindrops, or Raindrops as everypony calls her.
Her yellow fur stood out in the body of coworkers as she stood by the wall, angry at the entire ordeal. Derpy was an extremely close friend to Raindrops. The two have had many years of silliness and fun, mostly because of Derpy’s doing. When Hang Glider suggested that they make a pool for betting on Derpy’s visit to Canterlot, Raindrops went in full defensive mode. Raindrops argued the bet would break Derpy’s heart if she found out her coworkers didn't believe in her. Hang Glider’s counter argument was that if Derpy doesn't know about the bet, it won't hurt her.
Raindrops looked out the window, her yellow face and turquoise mane reflected back at the pegasus. No matter how ridiculous Derpy can be, be it her methods or character, Raindrops knew her friend was the best at her job, even though most of the employees didn't believe that fact. It did relieve Raindrops that Parcel Post did not partake in the bet taking. But he didn't do anything to stop the pool from being started, upsetting Raindrops anyways. Fed up with the betting, Raindrops decided to join in, and bet for Derpy. “I bet Derpy will be praised by Princess Celestia!” Raindrops exclaimed. She stomped over to the table and slammed her ten bits on the table. The coins jumped at her pounding, scared of her sheer force.
“Yo, reeeeelaaaaax, Raindrops,” Hang Glider grinned. “It's just a harmless game.”
“It won't be if Derpy is offended by this,” Raindrops argued. “And she will if she finds out.”
“She won't,” Hang Glider batted a hoof. Raindrops turned away, her tail almost wiping Hang Glider on the nose. She walked to the whiteboard, reading every bet written down. Out of all the fifteen bets, Raindrops’ bet was the only one positive. Why does no pony believe in Derpy Hooves? She was only a little clumsy, if not a lot.
A pony looked out the window and exclaimed, “Derpy’s coming!” The cramped break room was engulfed in panic.
“Somepony cover the whiteboard!” Hang Glider shouted. Raindrops was excited to hear Derpy’s story about Canterlot, but was entertained by her coworkers trying to hide their “harmless” game. A pegasus took one of the blinds and used it to shield the whiteboard.
The door to the break room grew quiet the moment the door knob twisted. And sure enough, Derpy Hooves stepped in. “Hi, Derpy,” everypony exclaimed.
Derpy yelped, taken off guard by the presence of her coworkers. A smile quickly overtook the mailmare and she said, “Hey, everypony!” She suspiciously looked at the ponies, grinning, “Did you want to surprise me with your support?”
“Of cooooooourssssee,” Hang Glider said.
The pile of bits twinkled in the afternoon light, drawing Derpy’s attention to them. “How come the table is covered in bits?” Hang Glider was at a loss for words, and was cursing internally, wondering why nopony covered the pot.
Being the big pony, Raindrops said, “It’s because we are celebrating how Princess Celestia chose you to deliver to her castle and we are doing a friendly lottery.”
“Can I join?” Derpy asked with an innocent smile.
“The umm… time to enter is… closed,” said Hang Glider.
Derpy scrunched her brows, “Darn…”
“But before we… draw the winner for the lottery,” said Hang Glider, “tell us all about your trip to Canterlot.”
Loving the attention brought to her, Derpy sat at the table covered in bits. “Gather ‘round everypony. It's gonna be good.”
***
Derpy and Raindrops left together, Raindrops grinning more than her friend. “I can't believe you won the lottery,” said Derpy, looking at Raindrop’s stuffed saddlebag.
Raindrops looked back at the post office, her coworkers looking back at her with irritated stares. “I just told myself that if I believed in you, I would win,” Raindrops beamed. She looked back at Derpy and asked, “So how handsome was Armstrong? Did you give him your po box so he can send you letters?”
The gray pegasus flushed, “He was really sweet and yes, very handsome. But no, I didn't give him my po box. I don't think he could deal with me, anyways, considering how he tried to do my job.” Derpy nudged Raindrops with her elbow, “Maybe I can hook you up and introduce him to you.”
Raindrops shook her head, her ears retreating back, “Oh, I'm not that pretty…”
“Are you kidding!” Derpy exclaimed. “Your sex appeal is so high, Princess Celestia has to move the sun into the sky to try and reach your status of sexy!” Raindrops flushed as other ponies walking down the street turned to see what Derpy was exclaiming about this time. As for Raindrops, the yellow mare brought an arm over her face, embarrassed Derpy's overly supportive demeanor.
“Oops… sorry…” The two walked in silence a few blocks, simply enjoying each other's company. Derpy wondered to herself if Dinky was at home and had finished her chores and homework. Then it just dawned unto Derpy that her daughter gave her chores to do when she gets home.
Just before Derpy and Raindrops were about to go their separate ways when somepony called out to them, “Hey, Derpy!” Both mares looked to see Time Turner briskly walking toward them. He stopped before them and nodded at Raindrops, “And Raindrops.”
Raindrops giggled a little at Time Turner while Derpy said, “Hay is for horses. And hello yourself.”
Time Turner laughed at Derpy’s attempt at humor. “How was your day?” the brown pony asked. “You seem to be in one piece, so I can assume all went well.”
“Of course it went well,” Derpy boasted. “Why else would the princess request me?” The mare realized the sun was setting and needed to leave. “Sorry, Time Turner, but I need to get home. Maybe tomorrow we can talk if you are not busy.”
“I can do that,” Time Turner nodded. His face was beginning to redden, “And maybe… I can tell you what I was trying to ask you this morning tomorrow as well.” The stallion looked at Raindrops, her brows wiggling when he turned his attention to her.
“Can you give me a hint?” Derpy asked. “And I'll give you a hint about my day.”
“Y-you first,” Time Turner stuttered.
“Okay.” Derpy tapped her chin, choosing what to say in her head. “It involves getting fined, a strong stallion, and a glass mural.” The only words Time Turner heard was strong stallion.
“O-oh… A strong stallion…” Time Turner muttered, his courage to confess his feelings shattered. “Well, your hint involves a… simple experiment.”
“Sounds fun!” Derpy beamed. “Anyways, I'm off .” The pegasus looked to her pegasus friend, “Bye bye, Raindrops.”
Raindrops looked at Time Turner, knowing very well what caused his sudden mood swing. But she answered with a smile and said, “Have a good rest of the evening!”
“Bye!” Derpy left in a slow strut, giving no notice to Time Turner's depressed stature.
"I guess Derpy grew fond of another stallion while out in Canterlot," Time Turner moaned. His ears were pinned backwards like an arm twisting in a wrong fashion. "Perhaps telling her how I feel is out of the question..."
Raindrops, Dinky, and various other ponies know of Time Turner's affection toward the cross-eyed mare. Trying to boost his moral, Raindrops said, "Don't worry. Derpy said she knew he wouldn't handle her like you can."
"But did she say he was handsome?" Time Turner asked.
"She... did... mention that..."
A dark cloud morphed over Time Turner's head. "Then there is no need for me to confess to Derpy..." Raindrops only rolled her eyes at the upset stallion. You are such a good friend, just such a hopeless romantic...
Derpy and Dinky walked into Ponyville’s Sugarcube Corner, the wafting smell of baked goods awaking their empty stomachs. A deal for a baker’s dozen of donuts was written in chalk on a small chalkboard near the front counter. Derpy grumbled, wondering why the Cakes never have sales for muffins, but knew that donuts were the more prefered morning sweet among ponies, Dinky included. The sale was once again celebrating a heroic victory from Princess Twilight Sparkle, or rather, her student, Starlight Glimmer. The evil Queen Chrysalis had struck again and fillynapped not only all four princesses, but the wielders of the Elements of Harmony as well. But thanks to Starlight Glimmer and her brave entourage, they not only rescued those who were taken, but reformed the entire changeling hive, excluding the changeling queen. That was enough to have a celebration, but this was something normal for Derpy. Ever since Twilight Sparkle arrived to Ponyville, strange, amazing, wacky, and even dangerous things have happened to the small town. At least the now Princess of Friendship allowed Derpy to make her occasional trip to Canterlot and deliver Princess Celestia her broken glass for murals.
A changeling at the front tapped her chin, not sure what to get. At the counter, Pinkie Pie was offering everything the bakery was selling, overwhelming the reformed creature. Dinky stared in awe, wanting to ask the creature many questions, as did many of the fillies and colts that stood in line. Derpy felt her leg tapped and she looked down to see her daughter grabbing her attention. “Mom, is it true that changelings can turn into anypony?”
Dinky may be a lot less clumsy and more clever than her mother, but there were many things the child still had yet to learn about. And Derpy saw it rude that her daughter would ask such a question in public. “Dinky,” Derpy scolded, “it is rude to say that. She might hear you.” The changeling briskly walked out of the store with her paper bag in mouth. The filly stared at the changeling as mare walked toward the door. Derpy noticed her daughter and covered her eyes. “And don’t stare. Can’t you tell she is already nervous?”
“Mom!” Dinky rebelled, but that only flustered the filly even more as she brought more attention to herself. With the changeling out of the line, the purchases went a lot faster. When Derpy got to the front, she allowed Dinky to get any doenut; but only a doenut she could finish. Otherwise, Dinky wouldn’t get another doenut for a week. Derpy did not like having food wasted, especially when she payed for it.
After Derpy made her purchase, the two went outside and sat at a table with three chairs. Derpy scooted the vacant chair beside her, reserving it for Time Turner. He seemed to be running late, which was abnormal for the scientist. Then again, it wasn’t abnormal of him to be caught up in some sciencey nonsense. Dinky had already begun eating her honey-glazed donut, already halfway finished. Thanks to the changelings reforming for good, the bakery’s current sweet theme was honey. However, Derpy took no notice, nor care to the theme and remained loyal to her habit: two muffins; one with a fruit flavor, one with a lot of sugar.
A pony called out, “Good morning, Derpy.” Derpy turned her head, only to be stabbed in the eyes by the morning sun. The mare wondered why the morning sun had to be so bright so early in the day. Derpy had to squint her eyes, a silhouette of her friend on the approach.
“Morning, Time Turner,” Derpy said. The stallion took a seat beside Derpy, his head blocking the bright sphere. Derpy had to adjust herself to make sure Time Turner would keep her safe from becoming blinded. “Don’t move, please. The sun is too bright right now.”
“Have I become your personal solar eclipse?” the stallion joked.
“I did get you a lunar eclair,” Derpy smiled. The mare opened her paper bag and hooved Time Turner an eclair with purple frosting and star sprinkles on top. “I thought you might like a little science in your breakfast.”
“You may be thinking of astronomy, Mom,” Dinky said, her doenut now a donut hole.
“Same thing,” Derpy said, rolling her eyes. “So guess who came to the post office yesterday?”
Time Turner tapped his chin, pretending to think. “Was it Princess Celestia needing another delivery of broken glass?”
Derpy smiled as she pulled out her banana muffin. “How did you know?”
“Every time something happens in Equestira, Twilight and/ or her friends manage to solve the problem, causing you to be requested to deliver more glass.” The stallion bit into his morning treat, delighted with the flavor. The sprinkles added a bit of crunch to his bite while the cream filling filled his mouth.
“You are not wrong about that,” said Derpy. She bit into her muffin before continuing, “Fo foday, I fwill be delifering anoffer fet of free crates.” Chunks of muffin showered Dinky and the filly whined about the gross act.
“Can you repeat that?” Time Turner asked.
After swallowing her first bite, Derpy repeated, “Today, I will be delivering another set of three crates.”
“More business for the princess’ personal mailmare, I see.” Time Turner leaned on his elbow, his head moving very slightly. But that slight adjustment caused some light to beam at Derpy, and the mare had to duck into the stallion’s shadow again. “Will you be leaving soon?”
Derpy considered not talking with her mouth full and swallowed before speaking again, “I actually need to leave in just a moment. I want to get a head start on my day. Those crates can sure be heavy.”
Time Turner flushed, “May I walk you to work today? I have a… personal question to ask you?” His eyes looked to Dinky, the filly nodding with a smile.
“Of course you can!” Derpy beamed. “Maybe while we walk, I can tell you the method Armstrong and I have been doing when I deliver the crates.”
The mere mention of Armstrong quickly deflated any courage the light-brown stallion had. “How… is he doing?”
“Armstrong is doing very well. He just got a promotion!”
“That’s… great…”
“Mmhmm!” Derpy stood from her seat. “It is always great to see him.” Instead of standing, Time Turner remained still. “Anyways, let’s go, Time Turner!” Derpy looked at her daughter, “Dinky, head straight to school when you are finished.”
Time Turner stuttered, “O-on second thought, I… I forgot I needed to do something back at the umm… the lab.”
Derpy hummed, “Hmm… Alright then…” Her wings fanned out and the pegasus began to take flight and gave a salute, “Goodbye, you two.” Time Turner and Dinky gave a weak wave as Derpy flew off.
Dinky gave Time Turner a hard stare, “Are you kidding me!” The child’s outburst caused the stallion’s ears to fall back. “Why is it so hard to confess your love to my mom!”
“I just… it’s just-”
“Just what? Did you get discouraged because Mom mentioned Armstrong?”
Time Turner didn’t want to admit it, but lying to the already flared child wouldn’t help his predicament. “I was discouraged… B-but I have my reasons-”
“No!” Dinky exclaimed. “No more reasons! No more excuses!” The filly hopped off her chair and looked up at the upset stallion. “Stand up!” Time Turner didn’t know what compelled him to listen to such an instruction, but he did. Dinky then bit onto his tail and started to pull him. “You are coming with me!”
It shocked Time Turner at how strong Dinky was as he tried to resist her, but failed in the end. “W-where are we going?” he asked nervously.
The mailmare tapped her chin, pondering the various ways to break the glass in the crates she was going to deliver. But Derpy wanted to be unique about it. She was Princess Celestia’s glass breaking professional. Derpy knew that she was to being careless for the sake of it. She was helping with creating a piece of art that would be installed in the Canterlot Castle throne room, to be displayed for years and years to come.
Derpy touched down in front of the post office and opened the door, her boss already prepped for the day. “Good morning, Derpy,” Parcel Post smiled. “No grand entrance today I see.”
“Would you like me to enter through the window?” Derpy asked with a raised brow.
Parcel Post knew Derpy was serious, and that seriousness meant that she would do it if he didn’t answer correctly. “No no no! Coming through the door is the much better alternative.” The door opened and another pony entered the facility. Derpy and Parcel Post looked to see Raindrops in her mailmare uniform, cap and saddlepack applied and ready for work.
“You are here early,” Derpy said before hugging her friend.
“I just wanted to see you off before I get the day started,” Raindrops said with a smile. She too looked at the unbroken window like her boss had. “Glad to see you used the front door.”
Parcel Post didn’t approve of Raindrops unintentionally provoking Derpy to leap through the window and began shaking his head and waved his hooves to signal Raindrops to stop. “If you like, I can enter through it," said Derpy. "Parcel Post was disappointed that I didn’t break the window this morning because I used the front door.”
“I-I-I wasn’t disappointed!” Parcel Post stammered, worried for his glass window. “You are normally very excited to deliver to Canterlot Castle when Celestia requests your services, and you always surprize me with a… rather… unconventional entrance.”
“Y-yeah,” Raindrops added. “But since you are a little calm this morning and already inside the post office, why don’t you and I go to the break room and wait for the crates to arrive?”
But Derpy stamped down her hoof, realizing her softened mood. “You are right, Raindrops!” Both Parcel Post and Raindrops sighed, relieved the window didn’t have to be broken for the day. Too bad they didn’t expect Derpy to say, “I have been way too relaxed this morning and not be as excited to head to Canterlot Castle than I should be! I need to break through that window to show my enthusiasm!”
Parcel Post knew when Derpy had her mind made up, it was very difficult to stop her. He quickly moved from the front counter and stood by the front door. “Now now, Derpy, why not instead of doing that-”
The gray pegasus held up a hoof, “I apologize for not having the Ponyville Post Office attitude. I will show you my love for my job as I should everyday!” Parcel Post looked to Raindrops, gesturing his head toward Derpy, telegraphing to Raindrops that she needed to stop the energetic pegasus.
Raindrops hooked her arm around Derpy’s neck, “H-how about we go to the break room and plan out the various ways you are going to break the glass in the crates?”
“But I was already thinking about that when I was on my way here,” Derpy answered. “Besides, that is the reason why I am not as energetic. I was so busy thinking about my job that I didn’t even notice how much of a privilege it is to go to Canterlot and aid the princess.” The mailmare began to move, dragging Raindrops along with her.
Thinking on his hooves, Parcel Post moved to the window and said in a sarcastic tone, “Oh look! There is Time Turner coming this way!” And to his surprise, he did see Time Turner. “Oh, it really is Time Turner… And he is… being dragged by… Dinky?”
Derpy stopped at the door and looked at her boss. “Time Turner is coming? Huh… I guess he already handled his science stuff and came to see me again.” The mare walked over to the window, Raindrops following in suit. The three saw the brown stallion trying to resist Dinky’s strength, but the filly continued to pull on his tail. “Dinky!” Derpy shouted in shock. “What are you doing!” The glass prevented her words from reaching her daughter and the filly continued undisturbed.
In a brisk moment, Dinky stopped in front of the window and picked up Time Turner, holding the stallion over her head. Parcel Post and Raindrops gasped at the sight, never knowing the child held such strength. Derpy on the other hoof was unfazed by the sight and she continued to leer at the child. Dinky’s mouth moved, but her words were muffled by the glass window and Time Turner began to shiver. The stallion’s eyes met Derpy’s and he flushed. Then, the filly threw the stallion at the window.
Derpy, Parcel Post, and Raindrops leapt away from the window just before Time Turner came crashing through the window. He fell on his face, his flank held in the air for a moment before falling down to the floor. Parcel Post grumbled to himself, “So much for trying to keep the window from being broken…”
“Are you alright, Time Turner?” Raindrops asked, helping the injured stallion to his hooves. Time Turner’s knees wobbled a little, the pony still stunned by the faceplant.
Of course, Derpy’s reaction was far from what was normally expected, “Nice landing, Time Turner. I would have landed on my face, too.” Normal pony emotions quickly found Derpy, and the pony looked out window to see Dinky looking up at the window. “Dinky! Why in the hay did you throw Time Turner through the window! And more importantly, why this window? There was a perfectly good uninsured window on the other side you could have used!” The fact Derpy was suggesting that her daughter should have used the second window deeply bothered Parcel Post. “Now I cannot do the grand entrance I was going to do!” Then the mother calmed down and smiled, "But other than that, that was a really good throw."
Dinky did not hear any of her mother’s scolding or compliment, the filly fixated on her true motives. “It’s been six seasons, Time Turner!” she shouted. “Don’t wait any longer! Tell her how you feel!”
Derpy turned around to face Time Turner and she asked, “What does she mean by ‘tell her how you feel?’”
“I uhh, well… The thing is… You are…” Time Turner tried to squeeze out a proper sentence, but ended up being tongue turned. His face blushed, embarrassed he had other ponies around watching. Raindrops whispered into Parcel Post’s ear and gestured for the break room. Raindrops winked at Time Turner before she and her boss left the helpless romantic and gray mailmare alone.
The pegasus frowned, “Did I do something to upset you…?” She looked to the window and called to her daughter, “Dinky, did I do something wrong?”
“No, Mom!” Dinky cried back. “But Time Turner has been needing to… confess something to you.”
“Confess what?” Derpy saw Time Turner rub the back of his legs and his ears were pointed back. “Time Turner,” she said, walking up to her friend, “is there something you need to tell me?” The mare took notice of Time Turner’s beat-red face. “Are you sick?” Time Turner’s lips writhed into what looked to be a wiggly line. Derpy gasped, “Are you dying!?”
Though his blush remained, the stallion’s expression changed into a more happy visual. “No, Derpy. I am quite healthy.” Derpy sighed out of relief, glad her friend’s days were not yet numbered. “But I am nervous…”
Derpy giggled, “But what is there to be nervous about? It's just me. You can tell me anything.” Time Turner swallowed, the stallion daring to change his fate with Derpy.
“Can I tell you that I… that I like you...a lot? he asked, his heart now in his throat. Time Turner’s pulse began to quicken as he watched the color in Derpy’s cheeks began to show visible pink. Her eyes widened and began to look in awkward directions. When she blinked, her eyes were locked in Time Turner, a sign she was taking the situation at hoof very seriously.
“As in… you… have a crush on me?” Derpy brought a hoof to her cheek, the mare stunned by the stallion’s question.
“My emotions for your are more solidified than a simple school pony’s crush, Derpy,” Time Turner said, and Derpy gasped, her heart falling into her stomach. “It’s been… so long since I have felt this way about you. I’ve just, never found the strength to tell you that-” In a swift movement, Derpy Hooves lunged herself at the brown earth pony with tears in her eyes. The stallion didn’t expect Derpy to be so quick with joy, but he was glad to see the pegasus happy.
“Oh, Time Turner!” Derpy squeaked, her voice choked over emotions. Her grip was painful and Time Turner worried his neck may snap, but he let Derpy be herself. “I… never thought a stallion would ever like me like me.”
“Good thing you were wrong. Sometimes a hypothesis being proven incorrect is the best outcome.” Time Turner wrapped an arm around the pegasus, and said into her ear, “And I am glad I was wrong about you rejecting me. What was I thinking?”
Derpy lifted her head, a stream of tears rolling down her puffy cheeks. “Yeah, Mr. Scientist!” she smiled. “Why did you have to be so dumb for so long?”
“Fear,” Time Turner admitted.
The mare shook her head, “Well, there is no need to be afraid.” Derpy dipped her head, her ears pointed back and blush painted her cheeks. Time Turner did the same as she and touched her forehead with his own. “I’ll be your special somepony whenever you are afraid,” Derpy whispered.
“And I will have nothing against that, m-my… my… my…” Time Turner tried to conjure up a lover’s compliment, but he was too lost in the moment. He couldn’t believe what was happening, but knew it was true.
Derpy brought a hoof to Time Turner’s nose. “Here is a hypothesis: Will Time Turner be a good kisser?”
Time Turner grinned, “That is a problem, not a hypothesis.”
“And so far, you are terrible because you haven’t done it yet. Like you said, you want some hypothesises to be wrong, right?” Time Turner knew trying to correct Derpy the difference a problem and have from one another was not going to win him any points in regards to kissing.
“You are right,” Time Turner said. “Let’s hope I disprove your… ‘hypothesis.’”
“I know you will.” Lost in the moment, the two ponies pressed their muzzles against one another, the first contact of love. Time Turner watched the mare slowly lean into him, gently bringing her lips onto his, creating a second contact of love and emotion. Derpy felt the stallion pull her into a soft embrace, tickling her every nerve. The moment was short, but long enough for the two ponies to enjoy their first moments as special someponies.
“Darn,” said Derpy with a cute smile, “looks like my hypothesis was wrong.”
Even though Derpy never provided a hypothesis to begin with, Time Turner was glad he was a good kisser. “It appears to be that way.”
The door to the post office opened up and a voice spoke, “I have a package set for Canter-” Derpy left Time Turner with speed in her hooves and the mare slammed into the door with her shoulder.
“Don’t ruin the moment I am having!” Derpy shouted. Time Turner was taken aback by Derpy’s quick and unpredictable, but the motion reminded him that this was the mare he was in love with. The mare spun around and batted her eyes at the stallion, “Thank you, Time Turner.”
“And thank you, Derpy Hooves.” He looked to the door and heard the pony who tried to enter outside grumbling, perhaps in pain. “Now, as much as I am enjoying this moment, I believe you should get your day started.”
“Okay,” she said. The mare flapped her wings and flew over to the stallion, kissing his nose in midair. Then she went to the door and opened it, “Welcome to the Ponyville Post Office.”
A stallion had a hoof over his nose and said, “Didn’t feel like I was welcomed…” The mare walked outside and began discussing with the delivery pony, leaving Time Turner to himself.
Dinky walked into the post office and looked up at the smiling Time Turner. “I told you there was nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah…” was the only word he could muster, spellbound by his love for Derpy Hooves. Raindrops and Parcel Post exited the break room, the two smiling at the event that had just occurred.
“That was so cute,” Raindrops giggled.
“Congrats, Time Turner,” Parcel Post said.
“Yeah…” Time Turner repeated.
***
Derpy strapped herself into her harness, ready to head for Canterlot. Time Turner stood to the side, ready to see Derpy off. Dinky had already left for school, but the filly didn’t mind for once. She finally convinced Time Turner to confess his feelings to her mother, so she could finally but that task to rest.
“I am all saddled up and ready to go!” Derpy exclaimed.
Time Turner walked up to his special somepony and kissed her on the cheek, “You be careful, okay?”
“If I did that, I wouldn’t be Princess Celestia’s professional glass breaker,” Derpy countered. The sentence worried the stallion for a moment, but again, he remembered this was Derpy Hooves he was talking to; and in love with. The mare adjusted her mailmare cap and soluted, “Farewell, Time Turner. I’ll tell you how everything goes when I get back.”
“Come by the lab when you return,” said Time Turner. Derpy slowly trudged along before gaining momentum. And soon, she was up in the air, delivering the same three crates of glass as she has before.
Parcel Post made his way out of the post office and stood beside Time Turner. “I am happy for you two,” he said.
“Thank you,” Time Turner responded. Both stallions watched Derpy Hooves fly into the air, her figure very small. Hearts began to bubble around Time Turner, his emotions overflowing with happiness.
Up in the air, they heard Derpy exclaim, “I AM IN LOVE!” In a fit of joy, the mare attempted to do a loop. However, the contents of the wagon could not maintain stationary and began fell out, descending to the ground.
“HEADS UP, EVERYPONY!” Parcel Post shouted. “FALLING CRATES AT TWELVE O’ CLOCK!” The townsponies nearby looked to the sky to see three large crates carening toward the town and they all took cover. Time Turner, however, remained still, his eyes locked on Derpy Hooves. Parcel Post looked up to see one crate that may very well crush the lovestruck stallion. “Time Turner,” he shouted from his hiding place, “move or you will be crushed!”
But his words did not sway Time Turner. “There is no need for me to move,” the brown pony replied, his tone too calm for the severity of the situation. “The trajectory of the falling crates will end up falling in the streets, harming nopony in the process.”
“But you are in the streets, you dolt!” Parcel Post slapped a hoof on his forehead, worried if Derpy’s kiss infected Time Turner and removed all of his rational thought.
“If I move, I will have a likely chance of being crushed.” Time Turner saw Parcel Post trying to get in another word and the brown pony held up a hoof, “Just watch.”
The first two crates smashed into the ground, nowhere close to anypony, and thankfully didn’t break open, either. The last one, however, was heading for Time Turner. Instead of speaking up, Parcel Post closed his eyes, not wanting to see Time Turner’s final moments. The ground rumbled as the final crate cratered into the ground. After a silent moment, the mailpony opened his eyes and saw the large box right beside Time Turner. The brown pony turned around and faced Parcel Post. “See?” Time Turner said. “Nothing to worry about.”
In the sky, Derpy called out, “Sorry, everypony!”
“It’s alright, Derpy!” Time Turner called back. "Nopony got hurt!"
Parcel Post shook his head and he muttered to himself, “Celestia, help them both…”
