//------------------------------// // 8 - A Little Hiccup, We'll Be Back With You Shortly // Story: Buggin' Hiccups // by sunnypack //------------------------------// Chapter 8: A Little Hiccup, We’ll Be Back With You Shortly “That,” Celestia began happily, “was a close one!” “Wha?” Hup glanced around. He was back in the Swarm’s hideout, but instead of changelings, there was only Celestia with a impish smile. “Where am I?” “In a dream,” Celestia explained. “While you are me, you ought to dream like me. Luckily, the spell I conjured worked.” Hup leaped forward. “Spell?! When?!” Celestia lip drew up. “Back during etiquette lessons.” “That far?!” The devil smiled. “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s planning ahead. Well that and using unfathomable amounts of power. Besides, if I didn’t, Luna would have been worried if my dreams ending up containing nothing but changeling thoughts. Usually, that wouldn’t have been a problem, but she was right next to you.” Seeing him cringe in silent reproach, Celestia swatted away the issue with an impertinent wave of her hoof. “Don’t worry about any of that. It’s not important. What’s important is that you keep going as you have and there won’t be any stones in your horseshoes.” Hup sighed. “Well, I give up, I guess I’ll just be your pawn then.” Celestia rolled her eyes. “Oh don’t be like that, Hup. Whether you yourself believe me or not, I believe you’re destined for greater things.” “Like doing your job for you?” That came out more sharply than he intended, but he didn’t feel like holding it back. Instead of being angry, like he expected, Celestia only looked a little sad. “I’m sorry, Hup, things have not been so easy for you.” Hup didn’t argue, he just felt tired. “When will it?” “When the time comes, trust me.” “I can’t.” Celestia nodded patiently. “One day, you might. I hope one day we can be friends.” “How can you build a friendship on this bed of nails?” The letter scared him. Chrysalis scared him. Being betrayed scared him. A lot of things made him the victim of circumstances. He just wanted a little love. He envied Celestia to so easily gain the love of her sister, the trust of all the ponies around her and how everything was just… was just… perfect for her. Celestia didn’t reply immediately, instead of smiling at his hopeless situation, she shook her head. “I guess you’re right. The way I approached this was all wrong.” She tore up the letter. “I know this is in your dream, but I won’t send the letter, you have my word.” Hup was initially shocked, but then squinted suspiciously at the alicorn, trying to gauge her intentions. “Why? What’s to stop me from controlling your government from the inside now? What’s to stop me from wreaking havoc on your precious ponies?” Celestia chuckled. “If you were willing to do that from the start, you could have done so. I think deep down, the loveless want nothing more than to love. I believe you can make the right decisions, not only for other ponies, but maybe for yourself.” Hup considered her statement, his heart torn, his mind conflicted. “I could reign in terror, you know.” “Or in peace.” “I could let in Chrysalis and destroy your kingdom.” “I believe in my ponies.” “I could be evil.” “You could be good.” “You’re naïve.” Celestia smiled. “Or you could be too.” Hup sighed. “So, what? I just continue being you? For how long?” Celestia’s smile wobbled almost imperceptibly. But Hup caught it. He wondered if she was having second thoughts about the whole arrangement. “A little while longer, I promise. Then you may do whatever you please.” “Give me a date.” “Demanding aren’t you? One day, then.” Hup considered it. “I can last one more day.” “Oh.” Celestia cocked her head as a thought occurred to her. “Princess Twilight will be visiting tomorrow. Make sure you meet her.” “Princess Twilight…” Hup nodded for a while before the name sunk in. Just like that, all his bravado evaporated as he recalled Luna’s parting words. “Y-You mean the Princess Twilight?! The same Twilight that foiled Chrysalis’ brilliant plans and exposed the Queen herself by peering through her disguise using no magic, just her mind?! That Princess Twilight Sparkle?!” What Hup didn’t know was that Chrysalis was quite embarrassed about her defeat in Canterlot. Her arrogant attitude was enough to tip Twilight off. Her attitude was dismissive, at the time she had thought she was powerful enough to defeat the insipid ponies by sheer magic alone. She couldn’t have predicted the series of lucky efforts of both Cadance and Twilight that would end up with her defeat. To cover her blunder, Chrysalis went with the slightly convoluted ploy of indoctrinating her army with the idea that Twilight was just a special case and she was ‘caught off-guard’ by the unusually powerful unicorn. Unfortunately, even that small concession, designed to save face, resulted in most of the changeling populace to rumour that Twilight had extra-special abilities. Like, for example, the ability to sense if a pony was a changeling by simply looking at them. Since Hup wasn’t aware of the truth, all he knew was that Twilight Sparkle was a living lie detector, could melt stone with her fiery breath and walk through walls. At least, that’s what the Broodwatch had drilled into him. ‘If you’re a bad changeling, Twilight Sparkle will assassinate you in your sleep with her decade-long mountain-trained martial arts’, was what was often said. He tried to explain all this to Celestia, but the devil was simply amused. It didn’t stop him from trying. “Some nymphs say that Twilight can travel through time… twice!” Celestia burst into rich laughter. “Oh Hup, Twilight Sparkle is none of those things! Well I admit she can travel through time—” “I knew it!” “—but there’s no problem, I assure you.” Of course, Hup didn’t believe her. “Can’t I just say I’m sick? I’ll be exposed!” “Oh, Twilight won’t suspect you if you don’t give her cause to.” Hup still didn’t believe the Princess, but decided not to voice any more objections as Celestia didn’t seem inclined to lend him a hoof. Princess Twilight Sparkle. She’s the legendary figure that defeated ten million changelings and stormed the castle herself using magic that could flatten mountains and boil seas. The only Princess in history to achieve her station by defeating multiple threats through inventing a weapon of magical destruction. Twilight Sparkle was a born changeling slayer. Nothing Celestia could say would dissuade him from that notion. ————————— When Celestia left him in the dreamscape, Hup had an uneventful rest of the night, with the morning coming a little too early for his liking. He seriously contemplated running away. Not just from Chrysalis, but from all of Equestria. But with his less-than-stellar track record of surviving in the wilderness, Hup resigned himself to a quick death. Maybe Twilight would be kind and eliminate him relatively painlessly? Yeah right, and maybe the planet revolved around the sun. He wasn’t that delusional. “Rise and shine, your Highness!” Raven declared, sweeping open the curtains. “My, you must already be awake, you have moved the sun already!” She giggled. “Just kidding, Princess Luna took care of that already! Are you ready for your big all-day exclusive outing with your number one student?” Hup tried to drag the sheets over his head. Raven tugged them out. “Oh Princess, I know this is the one time you get to relax, but we didn’t mean you could completely switch off. What would Twilight think?” Hup seriously considered this. If he angered Twilight, then he might not live to see another day. Motivated by that one thought, he hopped out of bed. “I’m up! I’m up!” “Goodness, Princess, you’re excited already. I’m glad we could set up the meeting with you two. Princess Luna will be pleased!” So it was these two! Hup kept the thought to himself and ignored the dress in favour of just the simple regalia that he often saw Celestia wear. He could feel the disappointment from her as he donned it on. He wouldn’t have to deal with proposals and ridiculous serenades anymore. The thing that annoyed him the most, though, was Raven’s disappointment when he decided not to wear the dress. “Princess, I know it’s not my place, but…” “Yes?” “I think you looked pretty in a dress.” Hup hesitated. He didn’t like all that came with the dress, but Raven had given him a genuine compliment. Wait, no, she didn’t. She was giving the Princess a genuine compliment. He was just modelling for her. “Maybe next time, Raven.” Hup tried to ignore the disheartened sigh that succeeded his resolution. “Yes, Princess.” “Oh alright, then.” “Thank you, Princess!” Hup sourly reflected that his main weakness was the fact that he was such a pushover. Which, in itself, was basically the very definition of being weak. ——————— Outside the chambers where Celestia was supposed to meet her student, Hup was biting his lip and looking more nervous than small rodent in a snake pit. Every time his hoof crept towards the door handle, it shied away as he lost courage at the last moment. Luckily, no pony was there to see him do this several times, but if he kept Twilight waiting, he didn’t know what could happen to him. Probably vaporised on the spot for sure. He had to remind himself several times that he was currently in the guise of Celestia and that Celestia—probably—didn’t want him to die too early and cancel her holiday… which, by the way, was sounding less and less like a holiday every time she talked to him. He put the little discrepancy past his mind. Swallowing thickly, Hup opened the door and braced himself for the inevitable. There she sat, sipping tea quite comfortably and gazing out the window. Either she hadn’t heard the gentle opening of the door or was too preoccupied with vile machinations and turgid fantasies involving the razing of villages and crops to notice him. Hup went with the latter, because it made the most sense. Twilight turned around and almost dropped her teacup in surprise. She saved the cup in a gesture that showed off her prowess in magic. Hup instinctively knew that Twilight had seen right through his disguise so he did the first thing that came to mind to preserve his life. “Please don’t kill me!” He flattened himself to the floor whilst snivelling. Hup barely registered the tea cup falling to the ground and smashing into the ground. “W-What?!” Twilight exclaimed, snapping out of the chair so fast that it crashed to the ground with a loud clatter. Hup mistook that gesture as one of anger and immediately flattened himself further into the ground. “One thousand apologies your Royal Highness, spare this one’s life, I beg of you!” The silence was so sharp it could cut through steel. “P-Princess, what are you doing?!” Hup kept his head glued to the ground. “Confessing, please have mercy!” “A-About what, Princess?!” Hup caught the trembling in her voice and froze. It can’t be… she’s… even more angry?! “I’m a changeling!” “What?!” Twilight screeched. I’m so dead! ——————— Twilight shared a long look with Luna before returning her attention to the changeling. It had taken most of the rest of the day to sort through all the facts and confirm that it had indeed been this changeling, and not Princess Celestia, that had been present at all her events, duties and functions. It was baffling that in some respects, the changeling was even better than the princess at some tasks. The tale had been woven so long and filled with frankly a little too much detail about the discomfort of which bits went where during a changeling transformation, that they were convalescing over a healthy cup of tea, to which Hup was also allowed to join them in with his own teacup. “An orphanage, raising eighty million bits, and for some reason, amendment to protocol C-172 of the Royal Canterlot Vault.” Luna blinked. “What’s protocol C-172?” Twilight shrugged. “That’s the only thing that concerning me. According to the changeling, ‘Hup’, the real Princess will be arriving later today. He told me that she would explain.” Luna glanced outside, it was almost sunset and her sister was due to arrive any second now. As though summoned by Twilight’s words, Princess Celestia of Equestria, Regent of Prance, Princess of the Sun, Royal Purveyor of Sweet Goods (self-proclaimed) and Defender of Harmony, stepped in through the window as if it was a door. “Oh Hup,” she said, “you promised you could last for the rest of the day.” For the second time that day, Twilight dropped her teacup. Hup winced at the expense of shattering such delicately wrought porcelain. He heard that it was hoof-made. “I-I couldn’t! Princess Twilight was so scary!” This time Luna spat out her tea. “W-What?!” Twilight shot a look at Hup as he scrambled backwards in an attempt to get as much distance between him and an irate alicorn as possible. “You never mentioned that!” Twilight exclaimed in an exasperated huff. Pealing laughter filled the room as Celestia broke into an amused fit of mirth. “Ha ha ha! Oh, I haven’t had such a laugh in years!” “Princess, is it all true?!” Twilight spluttered in the wake of shocking revelation. Luna, who was slightly more composed than her compatriot tilted her head. “Yes, sister, I do desire to know where you’ve been all this time.” Celestia stretched her wings languidly and sighed in contentment. “I think I discovered a new continent and saved the world a couple of times.” She grinned headily. “I do miss doing those things, so I’m glad I got to experience adventuring once again!” A book-burning would not have surprised Twilight more. “Princess, you can’t be serious?” Celestia nodded serenely. “Intensely so, but now playtime is over and I must return to my duties.” Like a switch had been thrown, Celestia gathered austerity around her and donned it like a mantle of authority. She faced Hup. “Well, Hup, it seems the time allotted is over. Do you wish to return?” “Princess!” Twilight interrupted. “Won’t he just go back to Chrysalis and… and…” “And what?” Celestia replied with a smile. “Betray us? What do you think, Hup?” Hup was silent for a while, hunching a little under the pressure of their combined gazes. “Nobody has really asked me what I thought, before…” He trailed off and squeezed his eyes shut, expecting rebuke, but strangely none came so he cracked them open slowly. “Don’t you want to… you know, do something to me?” Celestia shrugged guiltily. “You’ve gone along with my indulgences long enough, I think you deserve to do or say whatever you want to me.” She turned to Luna and Twilight and bowed her head apologetically. “I also have to apologise not only to you, but to my friends that I have deceived as well. I just wanted… well, I just wanted to do what I wanted without anypony judging me for what I was rather than who I was. Just for a little while.” Hup blinked in surprise. Who knew somepony that had so much felt that way about her station. He always thought that it was really great to be somepony that was so admired. Well, he did see the bad side of being in her shoes, but at the same time he saw the good. He met odious and honourable ponies alike and stood there unable to make up his mind. Did he hate them, or like them? What would the ponies he liked think of his deception, unwilling or not? He was afraid of the future, but he didn’t want to be alone. Then, Twilight, of all ponies, threw him a lifeline. “You don’t have to go back, you can stay here.” Luna nodded slowly. “I do think actions speak louder than words, and apart from protocol C-172—” Celestia stiffened suddenly. “Did you say C-172?!” Luna nodded slowly. Celestia leaped forward to grip her sister in desperate hooves. “What did Hup do with C-172?!” “He… amended the protocol, sister.” Celestia turned to the cage. “What did you do?” Hup stared back at the Princess. “I changed the lock.” Celestia licked her lips. “You can’t be serious.” “I am.” Twilight’s eyebrows drew together. “Princess, I don’t understand.” “I concur, sister, what is he talking about?” Luna added Celestia didn’t seem to hear them. “Was there no other way? I take it this is your punishment?” Hup nodded in an astonishing show of insolence. Celestia was silent for a very long time. “…I understand.” Seeing the state of the Princess, Twilight turned to Hup. “What is that all about?” Hup’s lips twitched into a slow smile. “You know, I think I’d like to stay here for now.” Twilight pursed her lips. “What exactly is C-172?” “Princess Celestia’s personal cake supply.” Twilight regarded the changeling and her former mentor. Seeing the two of them with their roles so easily reversed sent a small prickling doubt through her mind. Was Hup actually a brilliant strategist in disguise? Did he play Chrysalis, Celestia, Luna and even herself in an audacious act of desperation? Twilight reviewed their interview and dismissed the concept entirely. That’s just silly. But the nagging thought never left her mind. She wondered whether Hup, in his form as a likeable changeling, had indeed performed the greatest infiltration that Equestria had ever seen. No, no way. Hup was simply lucky. As she saw him speak nervously with Princess Luna and a snivelling Princess Celestia, Twilight wiped that thought with her sound reasoning. Nopony could ever be as daring as that. ———————— In the cavern, Chrysalis drummed her hoof on the floor and glared at the stone floor. “What’s taking him so long?” Well, Chrysalis would find out… eventually.