Princess Celestia has inspired many writers, artists and poets over her centuries as both ruler and Princess of the Sun. Now she invites one pony to do a special task for her.

A tale of poetry, pornography, puns, printing presses and pretty pony princesses.

Audiobook by Illya Leonov, ft Luna Farrowe and Shadow of Cygnus

Cover image by Linnpuzzle
Edited by Solstice Shimmer and BaeroRemedy.
Special thanks to Dr Bethan Tovey for help with the Old English.

“How is it that gems like these are always hidden so deep? I love your poetry, can't get enough of it.”

— SillyMare

“This is just really stellar, I hope everyone checks it out.”

— PresentPerfect

“A concept which in the hands of just about anyone would have become empty prurience is instead warm and brilliant and funny and just lovely.”

— GhostOfHeraclitus

Celestia wants me back. And maybe someday, I will go back. But right now, I'm happy here, where I am.

Vaguely inspired by my favorite Oasis song, thus the cover art, which is a ponified version of this.

Slightly shoehorned into Oroboro's 🌅 🚢 ing contest.
Honorable Honorable Mention! Thanks Dubs Rewatcher!

Rarity Teaches Rainbow Dash Prench.

This story is a sequel to The Alchemy of Chemistry

  Somepony has raided the border of the desolate Badlands, abducting every musician, singer and bard in the realm. Now, four brave adventurers will journey to the depths of this forsaken land to seek the meaning behind these strange disappearances.
  ...assuming Sunset doesn't strangle Minuette, Lemon Hearts or Twinkleshine in the real world first.

Featured on FimFiction multiple times in January and February of 2017!
Featured as a sequel on EquestriaDaily!

Historian’s Note:
Set in the Wavelengths timeline where the Sonic Rainboom didn’t happen, Bards of the Badlands occur about two months after the events in The Alchemy of Chemistry during the summer after Sunset’s first term as an aide at Gifted Unicorns.

Cast: Sunset Shimmer, Minuette, Lemon Hearts & Twinkleshine.

Stories set in the Wavelengths Timeline in chronological order:

Origins Arc
The Alchemy of Chemistry
Bards of the Badlands
Grading on a Bell Curve
Habits of the Equestrian Phoenix
How Not To Use Your Royal Prerogative

Applications Arc
The Application of Unified Harmony Magics
Princess Celestia: A Brief History
The Cloudsdale Report

Dreamers Arc
Tactics of Snowbound Unicorns
A Study in Chaos Theory
Teahouses of Saddle Arabia
As the Raven Flies

Cover Design by Amber Spark
Sunset Shimmer Cutie Mark By Millennial Dan
Dawn Break component of Garnet’s Cutie Mark by Sankam
Garnet Gem component of Garnet’s Cutie Mark by zutheskunk
Epic Hydra Artwork by Zilvart

Special Thanks
Roll For Initiative by Prak - A big part of the inspiration for this tale. Go read it. It's hysterical.

Beta Reader & Editor Credits
Ebon Quill - Quest Designer & Worldbuilding Writer on The Manehattan Project
Little Tinker - Master of Systems at Poniverse & Scripting Engineer on The Manehattan Project
Beltorn - Commenter-at-Large on FimFiction
Painted Heart

Word Count: 28,500
Version: 7.0

  Stuck as an aide to a bunch of second-year students at Gifted Unicorns, Sunset Shimmer thought picking one to tutor might be entertaining… and maybe advance her plans for the mirror and her eventual ascension.
  This 'Moon Dancer' filly is just a means to an end, after all.
  So why can’t Sunset sleep after Moon Dancer storms out on her? Why are Princess Celestia and Professor Polish so concerned about her?
  But most importantly, why is Sunset starting to doubt herself?
  This was all part of the plan. Right?

Featured on FimFiction multiple times in November of 2016!
Featured on Equestria Daily!

Historian’s Note:
Set in the Wavelengths timeline where the Sonic Rainboom didn’t happen, the events of The Alchemy of Chemistry occur at the end of Sunset’s first term as the aide for Professor Apple Polish at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.

Cast: Sunset Shimmer, Moon Dancer & Princess Celestia with a cameo by Twilight Sparkle
Co-Starring: Professor Apple Polish, Cinnamon Tart & Dean Silver Slate with Professor Crystal Clear

Stories set in the Wavelengths Timeline in chronological order:

Origins Arc
The Alchemy of Chemistry
Bards of the Badlands
Grading on a Bell Curve
Habits of the Equestrian Phoenix
How Not To Use Your Royal Prerogative

Applications Arc
The Application of Unified Harmony Magics
Princess Celestia: A Brief History
The Cloudsdale Report

Dreamers Arc
Tactics of Snowbound Unicorns
A Study in Chaos Theory
Teahouses of Saddle Arabia
As the Raven Flies

Cover Design by Amber Spark
Potion Bottles by DervonneBenaan
Sunset Shimmer Cutie Mark By Millennial Dan
Moon Dancer Cutie Mark by Allycatblu
Classroom Background By Roxy-Cream

Editor/Cohort in Scheming
Ebon Quill - Quest Designer on The Manehattan Project

Beta Reader Credits
Little Tinker - Master of Systems at Poniverse & Scripting Engineer on The Manehattan Project
Beltorn - Commenter-at-Large on FimFiction
Painted Heart

Special Guest Beta Reader
Tchernobog - Rabid AppleDash Fanatic. His price was shipping AJ and Dash together in one of my stories. Steep price, but worth it. He was also instrumental in creating that awesome elevator pitch!

Word Count: 33,000 words
Version: 3.7

Rarity and Sunset are having their third weekly Dappled Shores marathon.

And then Sunset ruins everything.

Third place in Oroboro's Changing Seasons contest.

Art by wordsandpunctuation

Featured by the Royal Canterlot Library, Seattle's Angels, and PaulAsaran's Thursday Reviews

Like my writing? Support me on Patreon!

On a cold winter's night, two ponies find themselves trapped in a kingdom of eternal summer.

Written for Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Changing Seasons

Edited by Pearple Prose.

(2019-06-17) Featured by Seattle's Angels!

My name is Twilight Sprinkle, and my passion is donuts—from the delicate morsels I serve at elegant cocktail parties to the hearty pastries enjoyed by hard-working ponies who get up early. I don’t have friends, I don’t have books, and I sure as the sun don’t have any wings. I don’t care whether you’re here for revenge, for romance, or for a favor. My name is Twilight Sprinkle and I’m not who you think I am, so either buy a donut or get the hay out of my store!

(Edited by the mysterious the masked ferret.)

Rarity had always known she would have an arranged marriage—such was the life of a princess, after all. She just hadn't expected her wife to be a sphinx or that she would actively avoid her, and not just because she loves books.

Commission for the lovely Earthsong9405 set in one of her AUs where Rarity is in an arranged marriage to Princess Twilight Sparkle, a sphinx Princess from Saddle Arabia.

The Monster of the Year contest is coming up, and Scootaloo has an entry sure to give Ponyvillians the scare of their lives: a murderous spirit from Zebra folklore.

Beyond known reality, something awakes, called by the speaking of its name. It draws closer, closer, to the little town at the forest's edge. When night falls, its reign of terror shall begin.

* * *

Cover art by totallynotabrony. (Source.)
Edited by GaryOak and Reia Hope.
Creature design by Necros66.