Chapter 5
“This—” she looked at me with her ears laid back against her neck “—is the royal palace.”
“Yeah, like I said, this is a big catering gig.” I shrugged as I pushed one of the foodservice carts with my magic. “And there’s no bigger deal than a royal Canterlot party. Also, that’s why I wouldn’t let you wear your cape.”
After a second shower, her fur and mane were nearly back to normal, just a bit subdued. Still, she looked professional in just a white collar and black bowtie. Like a server. Which she was. She’d better not forget that.
My own outfit was better suited for a guest than a server. It was a slinky, midnight-blue dress that fell off my hips like a waterfall, with fluffy silver wool around the bottom edges. It wasn’t expensive. Truth be told, it was a knockoff of one of Rarity’s dresses that I’d found in a resale shop. Lots of “Twilight Sparkle” dresses get sold by uncreative clothiers, and they often end up in resale shops because they don’t match many other ponies’ colors. I suppose that’s one upside to having such a similar body type and coloration as her. I can wear all her imitation dresses, and get them cheap.
All in all, I’d rather just pay full price when I feel the need for fashion.
I stopped at the service entrance and nodded to the guard stallion. He nodded back. “Miss Sprinkle. Who’s your friend?”
“She’s not my friend.” I saw her nod from the corner of my eye, where she stood behind the other cart. “She’s my new server.”
As he turned to retrieve a clipboard, she leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Quick thinking. If you’d said ‘My Liege,’ he may have been suspicious.”
“I swear,” I said through gritted teeth that turned into a smile when the guard turned back around.
He held the clipboard in one wingtip while he spoke around the pencil in his teeth. “And her name is?”
I froze with my mouth open. I blinked a couple of times and licked my lips. “Her name is, uh, Ravenblood, um, Dark… thoughts.” I hoped that hadn’t sounded too much like a question.
She stepped forward and put a hoof on his shoulder. “Twilight thinks she’s funny. My name is—” there was just a hint of hesitation here “—Copper Crown.”
“Alright,” he said after scribbling on his clipboard. “I’ll make sure she gets added to the list for next time. Head on in.”
I levitated one of the tiny pastries from my cart into the air, and tossed it toward him.
He didn’t see it. The little dessert bounced off his gold-colored peytral, and landed in the grass beside the door. I smiled and pushed my cart over the threshold. He smiled back as Copper followed behind me with the other cart.
“Sooooo,” she said with the grin evident in her voice, “we’re going to pretend that didn’t happen?”
I didn’t look back. “You’d darn well better.” It’s a good thing I make it a point not to remember ponies’ names. I wouldn’t even know if I ever see him again.
I could still hear her chuckling as I turned a corner toward the the garden where we were setting up the dessert table. I glanced back at her for just a moment, then returned my attention to the hallway and said, “So, is that your name? Copper Crown?”
She was silent for several steps. “I told you. It’s my destiny to be a princess. That’s my real name.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything until we got to the garden. I did have to give her this, though: she may be crazy, but she could follow directions like she wasn’t an idiot. We got the dessert table set up in time to sit and chat for a few minutes before the guests arrived.
“Soooooo,” I said as I stealthily levitated a carrot hors d'oeuvre off of a passing cart, “what’s with the name? Why’d you make up a new one?”
“Surely you don’t think that Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was born with that name?”
“I don—”
“Don’t you dare!”
“Well, it’s either that, or ‘don’t call me Shirley.’ And only one of those has to do with donuts.”
She crossed her forehooves in front of her chest. “You need to get some jokes that aren’t—” she looked at me with narrowed eyes “—stale.”
Ouch. That was actually pretty good. Of course, I couldn’t let her know that.
Stale donuts are bad, but stale donut jokes? They were probably worse. I chuckled a bit and looked down at the appetizer I’d swiped. I looked over at Copper, whose name I actually remembered now. I held the morsel out to her, and she took it with a smile. As she chewed, I asked, “What’s your plan? For when you meet Twilight Sparkle, I mean.”
“Well,” she said with a hoof covering her mouth. She swallowed. “Since you told me all about her, and I read up on the more interesting bits in that binder of yours, I think I understand how this all works now. If I can convince her to use the Elements of Harmony on me, it should turn me into the princess I deserve to be.”
I glanced around the courtyard and then turned and squinted at her. “But the Elements of Harmony banished Nightmare Moon, and turned Discord to stone. I’m not sure you want to get zapped.”
She smiled. “Both of them got what they deserved. And what I deserve is to be a princess. They were evil; I am not.”
“Okay, then. So, how are you going to get her to use the Elements of Harmony on you?”
She leaned toward me and grinned. In a kind of scary way, actually. “We know from the Tirek incident that if I hold her friends hostage, she will acquiesce to whatever I demand.” She raised her eyebrows.
My hooves rose to my temples almost involuntarily. “I thought you just said you weren’t evil? And now you’re taking hostages?”
“Not for real, though. I wouldn’t hurt anypony.”
I sighed. “Besides, they all have to be together to use the Elements. And the Elements are stuck in the Tree of Harmony now, anyway.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Copper chewed on the edge of her hoof. “So what was it they used to defeat Tirek?”
“Some kind of magic Rainbow Power. Even more mysterious than the Elements of Harmony.”
She nodded. “So if I can convince them to blast me with—”
“That’s a great way to end up in Tartarus. That’s even if they can activate it at will, which we don’t know. It may be triggered only by apocalyptic evil.”
“What if I pretend… to…”
Her eyes opened wide as her jaw went slack. I followed the line of her vision across the room to where Princess Celestia herself was walking among castle staff. I’d met her on a dozen occasions, and she’d even been in my donut shop more than once. She and Princess Luna both had notoriously ravenous sweet tooths. Sweet teeth? Who the hay knows.
Most ponies are a bit awed the first time they see Celestia in the flesh. But I suppose that when you were planning to ascend to her level, that makes the meeting a bit more… momentous. I elbowed Copper.
She slowly turned her head to face me, but her expression didn’t change. Until I lifted a hoof to her chin and pushed her jaw closed. Her lower lip stuck out just a little as she turned to me and blinked. Her lip might have even trembled, or that could have been my hoof. I put my hooves back on the floor and cleared my throat.
“It’ll be okay, Copper. Just act normal. See everypony else? They’re just doing their jobs. And your job is to sit there and be ready to carry around a tray of these delicious pastries.”
“A-and what if she comes over here? Oh no, she’s coming over here!” she hissed.
“Don’t worry,” I said as I patted her on the back. “Just talk to her like normal. She’s a normal pony, just like you and me. Only bigger. And immortal. And… gorgeous…”
My mouth just kind of stopped working as Celestia stepped in front of the dessert table and lifted up the corner of the white cloth that covered all the treats. She peeked underneath and then winked at me before pulling out a miniature éclair and popping it into her mouth. I smiled back with a little, courteous bow.
She swallowed and licked her lips. “It’s good to see you again, Twilight Sprinkle. I’m happy to see that you’ve taken my advice and made a friend.”
“Oh, uh, she,” I stammered. “She’s not a friend. She’s just helping me with a, um, a thing.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow and looked to Copper Crown.
Copper sat up straighter and lifted her chin. Oh no.
“It is true, Your Highness.” No, Copper, that was the opposite of a bow! “Fate has crossed our paths for this endeavor, and once we have both achieved our respective destinies, we shall part ways. However, I do look forward to working with you in the future.”
“Okay, then,” Celestia said. I felt my face burning hot as the sun as she turned toward me and smiled. “It seems like the two of you are getting along well. Enjoy the party.”
“Dank you,” I muttered through clenched teeth.
Copper shivered as she curled her tail tightly around her flank, before turning toward me with a smile. “She’s nice. I have a feeling we’re going to work well together.” She looked me up and down. “What’s wrong?”
She must have seen the sparks coming out of my teeth. That might have been her clue, because it is not normal. Except probably for ponies who have to deal with Copper Crown. “I said to act normal. Not ‘pretend to be a princess in front of an actual princess.’”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “Well, you started the acting weird. You just kind of, well, started listing her attributes. That’s pretty weird.”
“I could list some of your attributes right about now,” I growled. “Besides, it’s not my fault that she’s so, so… intimidating. Not in a scary way, you know. Just that she’s—”
“Gorgeous?” Copper cut me off, batting her eyelashes.
“Lots of ponies have—Everypony thinks she’s—” I grunted. “You can’t say you weren’t intimidated by her.”
She lifted her chin in the air again. That seemed to be one of her favorite poses. “Of course not. Did you hear how we conversed? As equals. As natural as can be.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed that you start talking like that when you get uncomfortable.” She shot me a glare, but I couldn’t keep a hint of a smile from pulling up the corner of my mouth. It felt good to know something personal about a pony besides their favorite donut, or how they like their coffee. The first guests were starting to shuffle in, so I nodded toward the entrance and said, “It’s time to get to work. Try to at least act like you’re pretending to be a servant.”
And she did. I had to point out a few tidbits of etiquette here and there, but overall she didn’t get weird. Except when she got near Princess Celestia, so I did my best to steer the two of them apart from each other. Then, of course, Celestia accused me of calling her fat, because I was trying to keep her from the desserts. That was embarrassing and a half. It was a joke, of course, and everyone but me found it funny. I’m sure Copper would have loved the excuse to spend more time giving pastries to her, if she hadn’t been asleep on her hooves by that point.
Celestia sidled up next to me. Honest, I didn’t jump at all when she started talking. “It looks like your not-friend isn’t used to such late nights.” I hadn’t realized I’d been staring at Copper. Celestia giggled, like golden wind chimes. “I kind of want to poke her, and see if she falls over.”
“Uh, yeah,” I said without looking up. “She’s had a hard day, what with her failed plan at world domination and all.”
“I see. Another case of mistaken identity?”
I looked up at Celestia with what I hoped was incredulity on my face instead of anger. “What—How did you know about that?”
“Oh, I hear things, is all.”
“B-but… If you knew about it, why didn’t you do anything?”
Celestia smiled again. That far-away smile she gets when she’s thinking about something, or wants you to think about something, or maybe when she’s just trying to look mysterious. It’s a good look for her. “Well, for one, I’m not in control of everypony’s actions, so I’m not sure there’s much I could do. Second, and I mean this in the least-rude way possible, but it’s not my problem. Three and four, respectively, it’s not my business, nor my fault. Also, five, you didn’t ask.”
“Um, can I ask now?”
Another giggle. “I’m not the pony to ask, I don’t think.” Well, Celestia was never known for solving other ponies’ problems for them. She looked down at me from the top of her very long neck. “Why don’t you two call it a night? I think the guests can find the dessert table on their own by now.”
After grumbling my thanks, I had just reached out to collect my carts when I felt Celestia’s surprisingly delicate hoof on my shoulder. I turned first to look at the hoof, then up to her face. She smiled a warm smile and said, “Thank you for taking the time to help a pony who’s so unsure of her place in the world.”
I chuckled, a laugh as cold as her smile was warm. “Oh, she’s not the least bit unsure of her place in the world.”
“Be that as it may, thank you for watching out for one of my little ponies.”
I watched her stalk back into the crowd. Suddenly, the idea that she was interested in me and my life was a lot less appealing.
With a shudder, I stepped up to the sleeping would-be princess. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was slow and even, so I poked her with a hoof and watched her eyes crack open. She seemed unconcerned that she was sleeping on the job. I couldn’t help but smile. “Come on, sleepyhead, we’re done here. Let’s get you home.”
She nodded, but dropped her gaze to the floor. I hoped she was just tired. I grabbed both carts with my magic and pushed them along in front of me. Her hoofsteps shuffled along in regular rhythm to my own, out into the chill air that must have woken her up enough to actually lift her hooves. As we exited the castle gate, I twisted my neck around to ask her, “Where are we headed?”
She rubbed her muzzle with a fetlock and refused to make eye contact. “I’ll just, um, find my own way home. I’ll come pick up my cape later, I guess.”
“Hey.”
Copper actually looked up.
“You don’t have a place to go, do you?”
She looked somewhere off to her left, but didn’t say a word. I sighed. “It’s too late to talk about this right now. Why don’t you stay with me tonight, and we can talk about it in the morning?”
Her eyes closed as she nodded, and then she stepped up close enough to lean against me for just a moment. It had been a long time since I felt the warmth of another pony against my side. I’d never much cared for hugs. She pulled away and started heading back to the shop, and suddenly it was colder than it had been before. It was cold, that’s all it was. Just the cold.
I shook my head and started following Copper. We had a big day tomorrow. Destiny, and all that. I shivered, just a little.