Paul's Thursday Reviews CVI · 10:03pm Feb 22nd, 2018

No review blog next week, folks. I’m on break.

Finally getting around to watching Season 7, and I noticed something that mildly annoys me. Has anyone else noticed that the CMC appear to be getting a little bigger? I first noticed this with Sweetie Belle, who is now tall enough to almost match Rarity in height. I thought she was smaller than that in Season 1.

What bugs me about this is that, at least from what I’m seeing, none of the CMC appear to have changed in any other physical way. They still look a lot like they did in Season 1. It’s great that they’re being shown as growing (assuming I'm not seeing things), but shouldn’t there be some other physical changes to go along with that? I’ll grant that maybe I just missed it. Maybe if I saw a side-by-side comparison of their new and younger selves, I’d note differences. But when we see the Mane 6 as fillies, they all look vastly different in proportions than they do now, so why hasn’t this been reflected in the CMC?

Moving on. I decided to also take a break from writing this past weekend, and as such only got about 800 words written in that period. I think I’m justified, considering I was churning out 2k+ words every day since Feb. 1 at that point and was still a day ahead of schedule with the loss. But it does mean that my two new short stories (well, by my definition of 'short') are taking longer than I intended. And it’s not just that…

I finished the rough draft for my entry to GaPJaxie’s contest, but honestly? I wasn’t satisfied. Certain scenes require a complete do-over. So right now I’m going to focus on finishing my other short story (tentatively titled Figments), get that released, then go back to fixing the glaring issues with the contest entry. Needless to say, it’s going to get in the way of my big projects for a little while longer. It’s frustrating, but now that I’ve started I intend to get them finished.

Aaand… not much else going on. Guess we’ll hit those reviews now.

Stories for This Week:

Help by Daemon of Decay
The Jet Powered Pegasus by billymorph
Självdestruktivitetens Emissarie by the parasprite
Whom the Princesses Would Destroy... by GhostOfHeraclitus
Dappled Shores by MaxKodan

Total Word Count: 45,071

Rating System

Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 3
Worth It: 1
Needs Work: 0
None: 0

Help

3,776 Words
By Daemon of Decay

Fluttershy remains in an isolated room at a hospital, where a doctor is asking her questions about the last thing she remembers.

This story concludes with a whole lot of WTF? I am reminded, in a good way, of John Carpenter’s The Thing. And yes, that should tell you all you need to know about where this is going. Conceptually, it is indeed horrifying. However, this is one of the few times where I’d argue that seeing the event in question would have been infinitely more so. The story is entirely told by Fluttershy relaying events after the fact, and in a nebulous, vague fashion that prevents us from grasping the horror of it until the very end.

There lies the lone flaw of this story. I never felt any fear until the story was practically over. The indirectness hurts the intended effect. I suppose one can argue that it’s a good twist, and I would agree, but I think I would have enjoyed this more (so to speak) if the author had taken a more direct approach.

Help isn’t bad, though. It’s a slow build up of unease and worry culminating in a final terrible reveal. From that perspective, this is nothing less than a delight in horror fiction. I’m willing to acknowledge that my own trouble getting into the story has less to do with how the story is written and more to do with how I approached it. Had I gone in expecting a steady, disturbing build up I probably would have been terrified. That’s not the author’s fault, that’s mine.

Indeed, the more I think about it the more I appreciate the skill and intention that went into this story. For those of you looking for a legitimately creepy one, this is likely to meet your goals. Jump in and be prepared to be locked in with the friendliest pony of your nightmares you’ll ever meet.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!

The Jet Powered Pegasus

8,184 Words
By billymorph
Recommended by Titanium Dragon

In this story set in the near future, Scootaloo has come to terms with the fact that her own wings will never get her off the ground. She became obsessed with finding a way to fly anyway, and so has spent her life and put herself into substantial debt creating a magical pair of jet engines. Now she’s engaged in a Cloudsdale race where everypony save Rainbow Dash is determined to see her lose… none so badly as Spitfire.

This story is ¾ race and all emotion. It’s Scootaloo’s last desperate gamble to succeed where so very few believes she can, and that desperation bleeds through the story. Her bitterness is tangible. As one who highly values emotion in his tales, I am pleased.

I am just a smidge put off by Scootaloo’s character in this story, though. I’d like to hope that she would grow to be mature enough to just accept her situation, rather than obsessing to the point of near-suicide and becoming infuriated even by her benefactors’ attempts to help. At the same time, I can understand the reasons behind her drive, which are well-founded. So I suppose it’s only a minor, subjective issue.

All in all, this is a fun, fast-paced, emotional story about one pony’s last stand. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, as I think most people would. By all means, read this.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good!

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!

Självdestruktivitetens Emissarie

8,688 Words
By the parasprite
Requested by yamgoth

That was… something. Yes, let’s settle with ‘something’.

Having read quite a few of the parasprite’s old, pre-improvement era stories, I know the amount of pain they traditionally maintain. I thus expected a lot of pain in Självdestruktivitetens Emissarie. I got exactly what I anticipated.

In this disturbing tale, Vinyl Scratch decides to try ‘expanding her horizons’ by reading a bunch of old albums from decades ago. While doing so, she encounters one CD that has no markings at all beyond a simple statement “This is for you.” At first, she’s excited; maybe it’s an indie artist’s demo, which could make for awesome inspiration. What she gets instead is a chaotic, illogical mess of soulless, black, mind-fucking nonsense that eats away at her very soul.

No, that’s not an embellishment.

This one’s a double header. It exists in the realm of the Weird that I oh-so love, but it is immediately countered by the viciousness that is pain for pain’s sake. There’s no moral, no purpose, no intent except to fill the reader with despair and agony. Looking at it from that perspective, one might even go so far as to call it a great success. the parasprite pulls no punches here, defiling Vinyl with everything from sexual abuse to extreme self-mutilation. It might even qualify as corny.

But again, this is pain for pain’s sake. If you’re here for anything else whatsoever, you might as well turn back. It’s a nasty bit of creepypasta and, dare I say, the most disturbing thing I’ve seen in this author’s repertoire. Which is interesting considering the author herself was disappointed by it, making me wonder just what she was going for that this would be the weak version.

I come away with mixed feelings. I can’t say I didn’t like it, because it still has the elements of Weird I crave: the mystery, the unanswered questions, the constant barrage of WTF? Yet it also goes way overboard with its elements, to the point of making some of it seem like B-movie gore nonsense. It achieves what it wants, but does so in an extreme and overly done manner, as if the story is trying to say “Hey, look at me and how edgy I am!” And yet much of the story is very competently written and legitimately frightening. I think it might be the over-the-top self-mutilation that brought it into ridiculousness.

The only other thing to point out is that the story takes too long to get going. The Octavia dinner scene was just fine, as well as getting to the music, but there’s a long period there where it seems like the author is just describing the same stuff over and over again. It’s not until Vinyl starts reacting properly that things start to move along once more.

In summation, this is a strange, dark and grueling piece of literature. It might work to settle the curiosity of those looking for unusual stories, but they have to be able to take the constant – at times, ridiculous – pain to do so. It’s definitely a story for a niche audience.

Bookshelf: Worth It

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Solitary Locust — WHYRTY?
Luna’s Communistastical Adventure With the 1959 Soviet Space Probe Luna-2 — Crackfic
Listen and Learn — Worth It

Whom the Princesses Would Destroy...

19,758 Words
By GhostOfHeraclitus

The madness spreads discriminately, it seems.

Twilight Sparkle has decided it is time to pay Princess Celestia a friendly visit. Tea, scones, maybe a stroll around the Royal Gardens. To the two of them, it is a simple and perfectly normal affair.

For those ponies who have to get everything in Canterlot Castle ready for the visit, it is a nightmare involving, in no particular order: panicked nobles believing a new tyrant is about to be crowned, towers filled with gooseberry jam, press secretaries literally bouncing off walls, beautiful mares equally literally falling into guards’ laps, brain leeches, wrecked wardrobes, unholy disemvoweled abominations from another dimension, discussions regarding the greatest recent Daring Do adventure, and a tragically empty thermos of tea.

To the casual reader, it’s a blast. I smiled from beginning to end, and I even burst into laughter in chapter four – which resumed as fits of giggles for the next hour – that might have earned me a few curious looks from coworkers had I not been alone in the office that day. Every sentence in this story is full of charm, wit, timing, or any combination of the aforementioned. I wish, dearly, that I had GhostOfHeraclitus’s capacity for comedy.

With material ranging from social commentary to the outright ridiculous, this story is a treat. I won’t go on saying anything else, because this is something that you need to see for yourself. Rarely do I read a story that so thoroughly belongs on my highest bookshelf.

Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Twilight Sparkle Makes a Cup of Tea — Pretty Good

Dappled Shores

4,640 Words
By MaxKodan
3rd Place entry of Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Changing Seasons

Alternative Title: Sunset Dun Goofed

This contest ended waaaay back in September, so let this be a gauge of how long it takes me to get to stories for this blog. Anyway, I’ve developed a small habit of reviewing the leading contenders in contests that I take part in, so here we are. In Dappled Shores we learn that Rarity and Sunset have been dating for three weeks, and every Friday they get together to marathon a season of their favorite TV show, Dappled Shores. But Sunset made a grave mistake: she watched ahead. And now she’ll do anything to make it up to her girlfriend.

This was a fun and pleasant little story. Watching Sunset jump through hoops – five different hoops, actually – in a desperate bid to get Rarity even talking to her was delightfully entertaining. I especially like how MaxKodan avoided giving us details, instead showing us the aftermath of each weekday’s attempt and letting us imagine the carnage for ourselves. Well played, author.

So yes, I thoroughly enjoyed this. I can certainly see why it did so well in the contest, and I am now looking forward to reading more of this author’s works.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good!

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!

Stories for Next Week:
Ponyville's Bad Day by HapHazred
Blink by zaponator
Chill by FloydienSlip
Sweet Nothings by AbsoluteAnonymous
The Cake Batter Incident by Harmony Charmer
Pages in the Notebook by NeverEatTheLemonsAlone