• Member Since 10th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 8th, 2018

AbsoluteAnonymous


E

Rainbow Dash just may be Sugarcube Corner's best customer, even though she can't stand sweets. Pinkie Pie is none the wiser.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 133 )

This is my attempt at writing a totally normal and not-unhealthy Pinkiedash story. There will be a part two, but since I'm going out of town tomorrow, y'all will have to wait at least two weeks before I can safely tag this as "complete."

It sounds like Dash is going for Pinkie.
Catchphrase: Nice so far.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS ABSOANON

edit: still awesome, eating my words (slightly)

Ha! I love Dash's characterisation here. It's just perfect. 'Oh, I could totally do it! I just don't WANT to, that's all.'

And Pinkie is just awesome, as she always is when you write her.

I approve, and award this a million awesome points.

JAG

'Healthy' PinkieDash by AbsoluteAnonymous? Is that even possible?! :pinkiegasp:

Alas, it's very late where I'm at. If tomorrow wasn't a new episode day, I'd read this right now, but... yeah. This is my second priority for tomorrow, though.

So, Let me get this straight:
You came here and showed us a really interesting, cute and healthy (Healthy!) RainbowPie story... just for telling us that we have to wait two weeks until we can know how it ends!

How evil... :trixieshiftleft:

I guess life gets in the way a lot, it's OK I can wait.
I love this so far and I can't wait fo the next installment, it's nice to see Dash going after Pinkie for once.

It is very refreshing to see Rainbow taking the initiative for once. In PinkieDash stories it's almost always Pinkie who starts it off first. :rainbowderp: Still, great to see a "healthy" story. A little fluff is always good. :rainbowkiss::heart::pinkiehappy: Hehe, can't wait for the next installment.

Adorable. Well done, as usual.

Has it been two weeks yet?

Few typos I spotted:
" ... for it's elaborate gingerbread-house exterior ..."
"Its" versus "it's."
" The warm smell of cloying sweetness was thick in all parts of the baker ..."
"Baker" in place of "bakery."
"Dash mouth began to water ..."
Dash's mouth.
"... a mare who's very existence ... "
A mare whose very existence.
And I'm not sure if this was meant not to have a pause, but I'll just point it out: "... buoyant and cheerful, almost dainty her voice bubbly and light and brimming with utter joy ..."

Here's a typo no one seems to have spotted:
"Either Pinkie would happily chirp a suggestion, or Dash would find something that looked cool enough for her to risk sampling.

Today it was the latter, with Pinkie hopping out from behind the counter where she'd previously stood and joining Rainbow Dash at the display. She jammed an eager hoof through the air and towards the shelf, indicating some kind of cake piled high with berries.

"You should try one of these!" "

That's definitely the former. If it were the latter, Dash would be finding something that looked cool enough for her to risk sampling, rather than Pinkie happily chirping a suggestion, with the way you have the options currently listed.

Here's a typo no one seems to have spotted:
"Either Pinkie would happily chirp a suggestion, or Dash would find something that looked cool enough for her to risk sampling.

Today it was the latter, with Pinkie hopping out from behind the counter where she'd previously stood and joining Rainbow Dash at the display. She jammed an eager hoof through the air and towards the shelf, indicating some kind of cake piled high with berries.

"You should try one of these!" "

That's definitely the former. If it were the latter, Dash would be finding something that looked cool enough for her to risk sampling, rather than Pinkie happily chirping a suggestion, with the way you have the options currently listed.

Former is first, latter is last.

"Either Pinkie would happily chirp a suggestion, or Dash would find something that looked cool enough for her to risk sampling.

Today it was the latter"

I think you meant the former.

I read this earlier. It's really awesome.

Short, (potentially) sweet, and enjoyable. I like! Having to wait two weeks sucks. Come back quickly!

This is so awesome. But you're on vacation- I can take waiting *salute*

I can only see 855 out of 3700 words. My cat hit one the key on my keyboard before I finished reading it, opened it in a new window, and now can't get it to display the chapter anymore. Can anyone help me?

388704
I think the majority of it got cut off when AA went to fix the errors pointed out in earlier comments, as I see those have been corrected.

I can only hope she notices and fixes the issue before she leaves the continent.:fluttercry:

There is something wonderfully tragic and unbelievably humorous knowing that the chapter has derped and AA won't be back for two weeks, haha. That's got to suck!

388821 Yes, yes it does. I was already wondering why the chapter ended with "she'd said at the till as she'd gi "

the 'track' checkbox is also absent for some reason >.> Now I'll have to remember this story for two weeks.

Y U NO SHOW REST OF CHAPTRR?

gah i can only see 855 words... where did the rest of this story go

RainbowPie fluff that isn't somehow deeply, emotionally scarring to the reader? :pinkiegasp: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ABSOLUTEANONYMOUS??

You certainly love RainbowPie, don't you?

388896
Put it as a favourite to read later, simples

For folks who have only been able to catch the cut-off version of this chapter, you can read it in full over on Fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7971649/1/Sweet_Nothings.

Now, my review: YES. ALL OF MY YES. Fluffy Rainbow Pie! This is the ...

Best.
Possible.
Thing.

I like the running theme/metaphor re: food and sweetness, which is similar to the use of red delicious apples in "Home Grown." I'm also amused that Rainbow seems half in denial because it's almost as though she feels she's too cool to be crushing on Pinkie. Also, I am dying from the sweetness here, and I can't wait to die some more.

we gota wait two weeks for next chapter?
awwwww

End the sentence...

388896

If you read Knighty's latest post, the favorites and tracking systems have been merged. Mark it as a favorite story and it'll be tracked, too.

389054
Thanks for the link. I was worried I wouldn't be able to read the whole story. :raritydespair:

As for the story: I love it! :pinkiehappy: It's just too sweet for me to resist. I especially feel like you nailed an untroubled Pinkie amazingly well. Everything about her just screams energy and joy, especially her sleeping. Rainbow Dash's attitude about her crush also fits her perfectly, too.

"It wasn't a nerves thing. She just didn't feel like it."

That really just sounds like something RD would say. I can't wait for the next part, but I guess I'll just have to. I hope you'll enjoy your trip. :pinkiesmile:

characterization; spot on. writing style; enjoyable. storyline; not my usual cup of tea but im in the mood. shipping; yes.:pinkiehappy::rainbowwild:

overall, 9/10

Man I felt trolled. Get to the end of 855 words and mid word the story ends. I thought, "That's one hell of a cliff hanger."

Ooops, I think there's some copypasta errors there. O.o, it cuts off in the middle of a word.

389308
Agreed!

Still, definitely saving this one to come back to later. :pinkiehappy:

I like your writing style. Tracking.

"Just thought I'd hang out for a while," she'd said at the till as she'd gi
As she'd what?
AS SHE'D WHAT?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, ABSOLUTEANON
Most of us were fine with the two week trip, but then you drop the first chapter of an incomplete story on us! You didn't finish the last sentence!...

Note: This is not hate, no. This is me when I snap under stress.

Okay, this is good.
Please, make haste on writing the next parts when you come back!

Your chapter drops off mid-word. Bad copy/paste? :trollestia:


385250
since when are any of yuor phenom on stories healthy in any way :rainbowderp:

"Just thought I'd hang out for a while," she'd said at the till as she'd gi -----~~~

Wait, you don't end a chapter halfway through a sentence!

The chapter just ends with: "Just thought I'd hang out for a while," she'd said at the till as she'd gi

While I'm positive that this is just the result of a bad copy-paste or something, I'm suspending judgement on this one till I know for sure.

You had better fix this fast if it is, though. This story is featured now.

389054
Did I ever tell you you're my hero?~

389953

Dash's characterization.

390193

Indeed it is - which I think fits beautifully. :pinkiesmile:

:heart:Omg! I can't wait for you to finish it!
Go Dashie :P

Am using a hotel computer. Submission was revoked after the chapter got screwed up somehow. The word count was botched. Am trying to fix it now.

This actually was a pretty...how you say...light? read. Not overwhelmingly romantic or edgy. not a trace of risque (ris-kay) behavior either, which is ocmmon in a lot of fics i"ve noticed. definitely want more.

WHY DOES IT NOW SAY SURPRISE INSTEAD OF PINKIE PIE? Oh, wait, it's April Fools Day. Huh. That's probably it.

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