Paul's Thursday Reviews CXI · 5:34pm Apr 5th, 2018
Two topics of note today. First is giving back to followers. Now, the truth is I've never been the type to thank every follower that comes along with a personal message saying so. It's redundant and, with that redundancy, begins to seem meaningless. But since I do appreciate my followers, I always struggled to find a way to thank them. In the last month, I finally came up with a solution: every time someone follows me, I add one of their stories to my RiL for later review. What better way to thank people than by doing one of the things I enjoy for them?
Then comes the caveat, which the last week has made me painfully aware of. The last five followers or so I've earned? No stories. Not a one among them. Now, come on, that's just not fair! How am I supposed to express my gratitude in a way that isn't mundane? I have no idea, and that annoys me.
The second topic is... more of a 'me' thing. After having gone over a week without writing, I finally got back into the task, jumping right back to my 2,000 words/day (with some difficulty, I'll admit). This was made all the more troublesome by the fact I was trying to write a chapter of my original fiction, Fortune, for which my enthusiasm had been on the wane. After a couple days, though, I finally hit upon something that interested me. More than that, I began getting into the story and the character I was writing for. As this was happening, I started to wonder what it was that had suddenly caught my attention.
The answer turned out to be pretty simple: I was writing a chapter from the perspective of the female of the three protagonists, Lindy. And I really like Lindy. She's a physically intimidating young woman who can bench press over three hundred pounds. She's smart, but subtle about it. She's in a position of authority, and yet has little control over what's happening around her. And above all else, she's practical. Compare that to the other two main characters, her brother who is quiet and shy and mousy, and a bully trying to be a good person. Lindy lacks her brother's patience and cunning and she doesn't have the bully's ambition.
And this brings me to think about the characters I've always loved. They tend to have something in common: they are powerful women. Even when I was a kid and didn't know (or care to know) anything about feminism or girl power or any of that, this truth was evident. My first major story I ever finished was about the tsundere daughter of a mob boss, and I adored her. My favorite cartoon characters growing up included the likes of the X-Men's Rogue and Carmen Sandiego. When anime became a facet in my life, I gravitated towards characters like Tenjou Utena and Lucrezia Noin. Playing video games, I almost universally focus on playing as the female characters. And today, my favorite MLP characters are Princess Luna and Rarity.
I like powerful female roles in stories. The nature of their 'power' is variable; wealth, strength, politics, magic, even just sheer personality and force of will. Especially those last two, come to think of it. I've actually known this for some time, but I find myself reflecting on it a lot more lately. Perhaps this is what makes writing for MLP so easy for me; it's loaded with female roles just waiting to be given the spotlight. Perhaps if I let this become my dominant trope it'll be easier for me to write in general. Heck, when I review the story ideas I have for the future and those I've already written, it's already the common thread.
What about you folks? Any particular character type you love to see in action?
Alright, I've talked long enough. To the reviews!
Stories for This Week:
Tiny Twilight Tales by Foals Errand
Fancy That? by HapHazred
Daring Do and the Dance by Georg
Stallions of Equestria: Adam's Apple by Mr Lovecolt
Plus One by Sapidus3
...But It Often Rhymes by Posh
Total Word Count: 124,529
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 3
Worth It: 0
Needs Work: 2
None: 0
Tiny Twilight Tales
19,287 Words (Incomplete)
By Foals Errand
“Paul’s reading an incomplete story without prompting? What trickery is this?”
Since Tiny Twilight Tales is actually a story compilation and will never be complete, I elected to forgo my usual rule and read it anyway. It is, as you might imagine, just a collection of stories regarding Twilight’s time as Celestia’s student starting from the very beginning when Twilight is only four years old. It’s full of cuteness, magic, My Little Human conventions, ponies turning into chickens, and an endless quest for more cookies. One can forgive Celestia’s regular exasperation.
For a while, I was really enjoying myself. The first few chapters does exactly what this story should do: showcase filly Twilight being adorable. Seriously, that’s it. We didn’t need any more than that. It was entertaining, endearing, and interesting.
…
Then filly Luna gets thrown in the mix, alternative universes get introduced, and we’re doing Disney movie parodies.
The instant Foals Errand diverted from the fundamental core of Tiny Twilight Tales, my interest and enjoyment crashed and burned. I’m not here to read an unimaginative story in which filly Twilight unrealistically pulls Luna from the moon for no apparent reason, or to see Celestia summon Cthulhu because stupidity. I came here to watch filly Twilight grow into a young mare and be cute in a believable, realistic MLP setting. A great start twisted into a poor imitation. For shame, Foals.
I guess some people will enjoy this from beginning to, er, stopping point, but I’m afraid I am not so impressed. Better luck next time, author.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Princess Celestia? Do You Have A Belly Button? — Pretty Good
Dear Princess Celestia — Needs Work
Fancy That?
9,172 Words
By HapHazred
Celestia and Fancy Pants seem to have a… thing for one another. Exactly what this thing is, Luna is uncertain, but she’s determined to find out.
This brief story is one part romance and two parts Luna being silly as she struggles to both understand modern dating technique and meddle in her sister’s romantic life. It’s not really about the ship, although that does get a pleasant conclusion. It’s more about Luna’s learning about some personal events of Celestia’s history and getting assistance from ponies like Vinyl Scratch and Luna’s unflappable butler, Silver Cup. Silver’s endless deadpan manner amused me to no end; he makes a wonderful foil to Luna’s theatrics.
Meanwhile, the romance is far more direct than the usual flare. Where most would undergo the constant back-and-forth fumbling and embarrassment of the pair in question, Fancy That? jumps straight to the point. This might seem like a let-down for the average shipper, but to me it felt appropriate given how Celestia and Fancy are characterized.
This is a fun story that is sure to please fans of Luna. Shippers might not be so enthusiastic given that the Celestia x Fancy pairing is more of a backdrop and catalyst than a major point of the story, but those seeking a more rounded tale probably won’t mind that.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
TBD
Daring Do and the Dance
2,169 Words
By Georg
Recommended by horizon
Disposable Minion #3 has a secret. His employment under Ahuizotl has little to do with villainy and everything to do with the powerful mare that thwarts them every step of the way. He’s hopelessly in love with this mare, and he’ll keep following Ahuizotl to whatever evil scheme he desires just on the premise that she will be there to stop him. It will be painful, it might even be humiliating. But it’s so worth it.
Georg has written a lot of stories, and they come in assorted qualities. This easily qualifies as one of his better ones. It is silly, it is fun, but it is also poignant and endearing. Listening to the minion tell his tale of love, wondering whether she’s leading him on, trying to grasp just how he can feel this way about a mare who routinely leaves him in the hospital, the story never ceases to be interesting. I loved every witty moment.
This story reminds me why I tend to look forward to reading Georg stories. Jump in and have fun.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
A War of Words - The Opening of the Guard — WHYRTY?
The Night Guard - Night Mares — Pretty Good
The One Who Got Away — Pretty Good
The Monster in the Twilight — Worth It
Stallions of Equestria: Adam's Apple
79,569 Words
By Mr Lovecolt
Requested by yamgoth
yamgoth was curious to see how I might react to a malexmale ship for a change, and so requested this little romance about a human falling in love with Big Mac. The story is set in a universe where humans have been (randomly?) appearing in Equestria and are assigned to pony caretakers to help them acclimate to their new lives in a world of miniature neon talking horses. Adam and his twin sister Amy have been around for a little while now, and Adam lives with Rarity while Amy lives with the Apples. Adam had little interest in getting to know said Apples, but now Amy’s marrying one, so he kinda doesn’t have a choice in the matter.
This is a curious story that takes traditional romance and throws in themes of discrimination and self-confidence. Adam is a somewhat effeminate guy who cares about appearances and fashion more than sports and action – an amusing opposite to his tomboyish sibling but a perfect accomplice for Rarity. Indeed, I loved his interactions with Rarity. Whether debating the perfect shade of green or facepalming/hoofing in unison over Amy’s lack of grace, they work well together in practically every encounter.
Of course, this story would be nothing without Big McIntosh, who is… well, everything you’d expect him to be other than straight. Constantly conscious of his size, kind to everyone, and ever protective. He’s the knight in shining armor to Adam’s damsel, though Adam likely wouldn’t appreciate the comparison. He is a guy, after all, and his masculinity must be preserved. The two work well together even as they constantly skim around the topic of their relationship, neither willing to take that plunge for their own reasons.
Speaking of reasons, a fundamental issue that runs through the entire story is racial discrimination, particularly of ponies hating and/or fearing humans. This is most evident in Pokey Pierce, who makes a struggling attempt to start a relationship with Adam for all the wrong reasons. I find it curious that out of all of Adam’s fears of being ‘the monster’ of Ponyville, it is Rarity who has the most level-headed answer for him.
All in all, this is a nice slow burn romance with a heavy emphasis on finding a sense of belonging. It has a few questionable bits – I kept wondering how the ponies were putting hooves to humans’ shoulder for comfort when the story makes it clear humans are much too tall for that – but overall I am pleased. There’s enough topical variety to make this more than just a simple romance, which is exactly what any good romance needs.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
I expected so much more.
The gist of this story is simple, and it starts off honestly enough. Princess Cadance is hosting a Hearts and Hooves Day Gala, the very first, and has invited Twilight and her friends. But Twilight’s invitation strongly implies she already has a date, which is news to her. She soon comes to discover that this date is Princess Celestia. She’s shocked by the implication. Celestia’s not.
The beginning of the story is fine. It’s just Rarity and Twilight discussing their plans for the coming gala and Twilight’s confusion being revealed. It’s when we get to Celestia that the whole thing crashes. What started as a potentially legitimate and interesting romance became a stupid and illogical throwaway gag claiming that everything Celestia’s ever done towards Twilight was romantic in nature. The Elements? Jewelry intended as a romantic gift. Long walks in the garden and having tea while discussing magic? Dates. Her parting chastisement at Cadance’s and Shining’s wedding? A hint that she was waiting for a marriage proposal.
And none of it makes any sense. If Sapidus3 had attempted to do something legitimate and provide more realistic signs from the show as romantic gestures, that would have been fine. If the author had decided to maintain the humor through the ongoing confusion between Twilight and Celestia, that would have been great! But this? This is ‘stupid silly’ humor, and I despise ‘stupid silly’ humor.
If dumb, pointless humor is more your thing, you might get something out of this. The story is competently written and the first half is clearly indicative that the author knows what they’re doing. But for me? This was a waste of time.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Influence — Pretty Good
Sunset Shimmer knew Equestria’s Cheerilee. Knew her intimately. So of course, she’s spent the last four years trying to ignore the lingering feelings for the individual who is now her teacher in Canterlot High. But now Sunset’s on the eve of graduating, and some desires refuse to be ignored. It gets harder when she learns that her feelings may not be unrequited.
There’s no question, this one deserved all the praise it got. The idea of Cheerilee and Sunset being a couple may sound like a challenge at first glance, but Posh makes it work. Easily. The story is more than just two individuals falling for one another though. There are consequences, lingering doubts, and a certain inevitability that lends the entire romance a bittersweet feeling at the end. Let it not be said that Posh doesn’t know how to toy with our emotions.
As a romance, this is just about perfect. The pacing, the blending of romance with drama and humor, the ever-lingering uncertainties, it’s all more or less perfect. Posh put this together in a way few authors can, and I can only nod my head in complete approval. I would love to criticize something, but as of this time I’ve got nothing negative to say.
Well done, author. This victory was well earned.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author! (Wait, seriously? I could have sworn...)
Stories for Next Week:
Petriculture by Kwakerjak
Fermentation by Orbiting Kettle
The Light Goes Out by AbsoluteAnonymous
Crusader's End by CalebH
Nine Days Down by JoeShogun
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If you like great female characters you should play Witcher 3. In terms of story it's probably the best written game I've ever played.
What if you sent new, storyless followers a comment asking if they’d like to have a particular story reviewed? Obviously anybody can request that of you, but new followers might not know that right off the bat. That’s at least more useful than a simple “thanks for the follow!”
Looking at next week’s stories, I am really curious as to what you’ll think about Petriculture. It was... certainly something. (Though I do believe it really picks up during the sequel).
Oh, and hello Nine Days Down, nice to see you again.....
What a sweet review. Thank you, Paul.
Thanks, Paul. I'll keep writing if you keep reading.
My favorite Sapidus3 stories are Misunderstanding and Not an Adult.
Plus One always felt like something of a pale echo of Misunderstanding, which is about Twilight's friends mistakenly believing that there's something going on between Twilight and Princess Celestia, much to Twilight's dismay. Not an Adult is a great story about insecurities.
When I look at your follower count and hear that you'd like to offer followers a review each, I conclude that you're a glutton for punishment. Plus it's just a sad fact that most of those reviews would be negative, and then nobody's happy.
As to preferences for female characters... I'm the same way. I'm not someone who feels like transgender or cross-dresser or anything else that indicates I personally am or want to be female, but I also find myself much preferring to write female characters (which may well have bee what drew us both to this fandom) and often choosing female characters to play in games. I just find them more interesting. And I'm probably wrong about that.
See, I claimed women tend to be more complex in their motivations, such that I find male characters less interesting, but my sister (a creative writing professor and published author) outright refuted that notion.
Just admit it, you want to be bench pressed by a woman with biceps the size of your head. :V
I too have been disappointed when a follower has no stories posted. I often like to read new things, as evidenced by my still growing read later bookshelf. It’s nice that you would like to review followers stories. That is a great way to get lesser known authors in the spotlight. Is there specifics to what you’ll review? Whether it is completed or a certain type of story or whatever? I bet it would be odd to review someone who has a majority of nsfw things.
4833863
I would. I’m not even straight and I would love that.
Well, now you know! Posh does really good work, and I'm happy to see them getting the respect they deserve. And I'll have to be sure to check out the other stuff you reviewed as well!
Paul! I'm shocked at you! You should rectify this tragedy ASAP!
4833797
Well deserved, you emotionally manipulative genius, you.
4833658
I have to be very strict regarding what games I allow myself to get into due to time constraints; I simply can't play all of them. And I actually keep a list of games I want to play. The Witcher 3 isn't on that list, but even if it was, by the time I finally got to it they'd probably have three more games in the series released.
4833659
Hmm... that's not a bad idea. Consider it considered.
4833721
I'd always heard Petriculture was one of those 'legends of the fandom' type stories where you somehow weren't a proper brony if you hadn't read it yet.
4833797
You are very welcome!
4833798
I wonder if there's some blood ritual I can do that makes those words binding?
Nah, NVM. I hate pain.
Then again, if it doesn't have to be my blood...
4833853
Well, I didn't mean I'd go back and review a story for every follower I already have. It was to be an ongoing thing. And whether it hurts them or not will depend on their capacity to accept negative criticism. Still, your point is well made.
There are a variety of reasons I find women more interesting than men in all these scenarios, and I would be lying through my teeth if I tried to suggest that it has nothing to do physical attraction. But when it comes to personality, I have to acknowledge your sister is right; guys can be just as interesting in that regard. But they're not as nice to look at, so...
Ignoring physical attraction, there's just something captivating about seeing a woman standing tall and winning the day.
4833863
What 4833887 said. That would be cool! Bonus points if she can do it while simultaneously signing an autograph for me.
Is it strange that I love the idea of a physically strong woman, but don't find significant musculature on one attractive?
4833886
I don't review clop (unless it sneaks up on me, which has happened before) and I avoid incompletes except under specific circumstances or through direct request. Other than that? No restrictions.
4834062
Funny thing: when that prior review came out, I'd already read ...But It Often Rhymes. But I tend to write my reviews weeks in advance of release, so at the time of writing it was a valid declaration, and I tend not to update them under such circumstances.
4834134
I later learned that I'd had a Posh story in my RiL for ages already, which is why I thought I'd already read one. Oh, well, I'll get to that one in time.
4834243
Okay then. I forgive you.
4834243
It's not that I thought you actually would go back and review something by all your previous followers. For one, if you keep accumulating them at the same rate, that's a significant workload, and for another, that is kind of unfair to all those previous followers who wouldn't get anything.
I guess the female video game characters are more attractive, but that's not always the case. All my games are quite old where the animation style isn't that great. Think fairly coarsely pixelated sprites or polygon figures. So they aren't usually much to look at anyway. But I most often chose to create female characters for Jedi Knight and KotOR. I played females exclusively on Diablo II as well, though you're forced into a gender by what character class you pick, and those just happened to be the character classes I was most interested in playing. I mostly chose male characters for Neverwinter Nights, though.
That doesn't really hold for writing, though, since you can't see the character. You can have a concept for what they look like, particularly when you're not using OCs, but by writing them, you don't get that visual.
4834496
Being able to see the characters was never the important thing. I play games like Skyrim and Fallout with female characters, but then I also play those games in 1st person, so it's not like I can actually see the character ever. I just have it in my head that girls are better, in that vague and illogical sense I have.
But when I can see them, I typically have no reason to complain.
I've heard some pretty high praise for Nine Days Down, so I'm interested to hear your take on it.
Thank you feeling this story was worthy of a review. I can definitely see some of the issues regarding height, etc. But I must say, this is one of the best reviews I've ever received. I do hope that I can make future works that are deserving of a review.
Hmm, how about a basket full of twenty dollar bills? I think that's a pretty nice thank-you. You can start with me.
The kind of characters I think I have liked the most--certainly growing up--were morally strong and willful ones, male or female. Captain Kirk, Princess Leia, Captain Janeway, Luke Skywalker, Captain America (recent), Trinity from the Matrix, Seven of Nine, Sally Acorn, Princess Celestia. Characters who were something to contend with and didn't just roll over. They were good leaders.
It's interesting you mention Luna. While I love her character, I wouldn't put her in my list of top strongest characters. And by strongest here I don't mean well-written. Luna is incredibly crafted, and consistently written better than Celestia post season 2, in my opinion.
But my feelings on this aren't really sorted out, so they very well may change.
Glad you enjoyed Dance. I recommended it for a reason, and your review pretty much hit that nail on the head.
4838318
It was a delight to read. Although looking back, I kinda wish I'd had more to say about it. Oh well, short stories tend to lead to short reviews.