Paul's Thursday Reviews CII · 10:13pm Jan 25th, 2018
Alrighty, folks. I'm gunning for 2,000 words/day this month, and even with my great run these last three weeks I'm still way behind on that goal. So I shall attempt to keep this short in spite of the many topics I want to cover today. Here's to 4k for the day!
First off, did anyone else know that you can copy/paste the titles on these pages (story names, user names, blog names, etc) for easy linkposting? I did not. Is this a new thing with the latest updates, or has FIMfic always been able to do this? Because darn it, had I known about it ages ago setting up the links for all these stories wouldn't have been such a pain!
Speaking of links, looking for opinions. As some of you know, I am now posting previously reviewed stories beneath each review for that author. But ah, what do I want to link to? My old reviews, so that people can see why I rated each story as I did? Or directly to the story itself, and let my rating be enough? Right now all the links below do (or at least, should) go to my reviews of the posted stories, but what do you, oh faithful readers, prefer?
Meanwhile, it has come to my attention that my reviews are getting ahead of themselves. Way ahead. The latest reviews being written are for mid-March, and I've already got material scheduled to read that isn't due until May. That's how far ahead I'm getting. I'm reasonably sure it's due to my new(ish) system of taking longer stories and scheduling them apart from the others so that I don't get overwhelmed by them. In light of this extreme success, I've decided to try upping the number of reviews I offer per week from 5-6 to 7 regularly. Since I don't want to go through the trouble of rearranging my existing schedule for this, the results won't go live until May. I don't know if I'll be able to keep it up, either, so consider this a trial run.
Last but not least, Bulletproof Heart's cover art is a go! I've called upon noted artist bakki to handle the job. In light of this and a fresh awareness that the rough draft is starting to approach completion, I'm looking for two people to act as alpha readers. I've already got two who have been with me from the beginning, so these will be in addition to them. I'm not asking for proofers or editors, I just want a couple well-read people to go through what I've got so far and give me a 'yea' or 'nay' on the story. Nor do I want someone who will comment once every two chapters. I'm looking for running commentary on the story: reactions to events as they happen, critiques to character behavior, notes on plot holes, that sort of thing. If you're interested, PM me and let me know! But I really am only looking for two, so I'll cut things off once I have them.
Aaand that's it. Took longer than I expected. Oh, well. I can play RE5 some other day. To the reviews!
Stories for This Week:
Tricks and Treats by ambion
Three Solos, One Cadence by Inquisitor M
Heavy Rock by CoffeeMinion
Emotions are Complicated by SamRose
The Alchemy of Chemistry by Novel-Idea
Total Word Count: 82,538
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 0
Pretty Good: 5
Worth It: 0
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
Tricks and Treats
13,627 Words
By ambion
This is three parts holiday fun, two parts witty, and one part in poor taste.
It’s Luna’s second Nightmare Night, and she’s far better prepared this time. She knows all the candies, from gummy worms to marsh melons, but she is a little wary of Discord’s supposed desire to help her learn more. Meanwhile, Fluttershy gets her hooves on a special costume for the night’s festivities, having decided to at least attempt to embrace the holiday. There’s just one problem: the mask has an unfortunate habit of making its wearer… aggressive. The result is an inevitable confrontation between Nightmare Moon and FlutterBane over the coming sacrificial candies.
There’s a lot to love about this story. Its narrative is ever-witty, full of nubile Apples of Bob, arguably unpleasant Ear Gummy Worms, and at least one draconequus that manages to be obtuse and acute at the same time. The characters are well-voiced too; I had my doubts about Fluttershy as she seemed too docile for post Season 3, but then I remembered it’s Nightmare Night and that might make it okay. I especially enjoyed Luna’s successful attempts to enjoy the holiday, complete with her constant misinterpretation of common themes that somehow manage to make them all the more entertaining.
I was less enthusiastic about the cameo of Rarity, which seemed slapped on just for the sake of explaining why Rarity didn’t appear in Luna Eclipsed. I get the intention, but it is a wasted one in this case as it has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the story. If we’re going to get a little lesson in Rarity’s anti-Nightmare Night opinions, it would be much better served as its own story.
I mind less Twilight’s and Applejack’s cameos, but it does call into question why the most Nightmare Night-loving pony in town, one Pinkie Pie, doesn’t get one. Especially considering her interactions with Luna in the episode, which gives her some of the best reason to be a more significant player in these events.
But the biggest issue in this story, and the part that strikes me as being in poor taste, is the mental manipulation of Fluttershy. The Bane costume she is given by Discord made her aggressive, rude, and at times downright mean. So did the author selectively forget all about Putting Your Hoof Down and how that kind of thing traumatically affected her? Because I can’t imagine any situation in which Fluttershy would be okay with this. If anything, she should be offended by Discord’s actions, but instead she talks about how she had fun being a bitch to her friends around town.
Not buying it.
Ignoring this and the shameless and shamelessly continuous The Dark Knight Rises quotes, I enjoyed this one. Luna’s and Discord’s parts were great fun, and the narrative maintained a regular wit typically lacking in stories in general. Had Fluttershy’s parts been more appropriate to her character and growth from the series, this might have even landed on my favorites shelf. The author overstepped in many ways, but the story’s still worthwhile for all that.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
A Ballad of Eeyup and Nope — WHYRTY?
Three Solos, One Cadence
9,512 Words
By Inquisitor M
Recommended by wYvern
Wait, wait! Stow away your torches and pitchforks! It’s just a story title. The Inquisitor does indeed know how to spell Cadance’s name.
It’s usually a treat to read Inquisitor M stories. His “Show Or Die! No, Seriously” method of writing has backfired a time or two, and most writers have difficulty really pulling it off. But when it’s done right, it can be a wonderful learning experience for all involved.
Three Solos, One Cadence is set in the Frozen North, where Cadance, Fluttershy and Discord have been tasked by Princess Luna with finding some mysterious and unspecified object amongst the glaciers and snow. At roughly the same time, we learn of a pony who escaped the tyranny of Sombra, who is struggling to save a collection of ignorant innocents in a frigid world of ice. The ultimate point and conclusion of the story is contrived nonsense.
...but it’s very, very good contrived nonsense.
I’m not even remotely buying this peculiar headcanon, but I’m willing to let it slide. Why? Because the character growth of Cadance and Discord combined with the Inquisitor’s signature style is more than enough to make up for it. Why doesn’t Fluttershy get a mention? Because this story isn’t really about her; if she’s anything, she’s the referee between the other two who already knows all the rules and has to make sure the two teams ‘play nice’. Which she does admirably and believably.
I should also point out that this is the first time I’ve seen Inquisitor M write Discord. I dare say he nailed it, at least in terms of the mannerisms and nuttiness. He does seem a bit too affectionate towards the end than is appropriate for this, but it’s entirely possible that was the point, so I won’t let it bother me.
The biggest caveat of the story inevitably goes hand-in-hand with the Inquisitor’s absolute refusal to explain anything, be that extrapolations on history or how a character is apparently feeling. Inquisitor M instead provides clues in the narrative and dialogue. This story struck me as a bit unusual for this author, as in the end most things are fairly well explained, mostly by dialogue. Yet there are still certain things that aren’t clear, things which have to be accepted at face value. The big “HOW?” of the rainbow thingy is one such conundrum. You will not be given a satisfactory answer (or any answer at all), so you must either roll with it or maintain disappointment. Alas, this kind of thing is common with this author’s writing style. It’s up to you whether it is good or bad.
Overall, I enjoyed this one. It has the typical flaws of the Inquisitor’s preferred style, yet also the big advantages. Even if the conclusion feels a little outrageous – at least to me – the development of the characters and a great example of an uncommon and rarely well-enacted writing style gives it enough of a boon to keep it on my higher shelves.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Movements of Fire and Shadow — WHYRTY?
The Boy Who Cried Wolf — WHYRTY?
Heavy Rock
23,731 Words
By CoffeeMinion
Requested by CoffeeMinion
By the time this was over, I had only one thing going through my mind.
Oh, how I miss them.
In Heavy Rock we meet an EQG Limestone Pie who is twenty, was homeschooled, and has spent her entire life doing nothing save working at the family quarry. Then Maud asks her to come as ‘emotional support’ to a club where she can do a poetry reading. When a mix up puts the lonely and depressed Flash Sentry in Maud’s spot, Limestone decides she’s not taking any of that crap; she snatches up Maud’s lyrics, jumps on stage, and belts out the poetry for her along to Flash’s heavy metal riffing.
She never expected Flash to like it.
While I am an unabashed shipper, one of my personal little pleasures is in witnessing unusual pairings done well. This certainly qualifies. Flash is a genuinely good high schooler trying to get over his recent lack of luck, and Limestone is an uncertain young woman who hides her anxiety and fears behind abrasiveness and aggression. Both are stuck in a rut with uncertain futures, and this aspect makes them work remarkably well together. Throw in the entire Pie clan and some Sunset Shimmer cameos, and you end up with a story brimming with interesting characters.
The plot is a little fast for my liking, but otherwise great. Flash and Limestone make an interesting duo, with the former proving he can dish out as much as she can, and take it even better. I know a lot of people don’t like Brad for his cardboard cutout manner, but this blank slate makes him a great character for the inventive writer to do whatever they want with him. CoffeeMinion makes full use of this, and the plot is aided significantly as Flash makes for a nice foil to Limestone’s verbal shots.
Of course, none of this would be complete without the author’s constant nods to the music. I’ll be honest, I probably missed most of them, but that’s okay. For those who are more in tune (sorry) with things, it should be a treat. I’m especially happy that he put the links to the songs in the Author’s Notes instead of seeding them directly in the story, which would have been the worst possible choice. It does highly amuse me that the story constantly insists that the heavy metal Flash introduces Limestone to is ‘too old’ for the modern generation. I honestly don’t see that stuff ever dying.
In the end, Heavy Rock is an endearing story that combines a love triangle and the pursuit of life with loud music and strong characters. Again, I feel like the speed of the story is too quick – in terms of actual time passed, not pacing – but ignoring that I had a lot of fun watching two characters I rarely see in fanfiction at all have their spotlight. A great piece of work, CoffeeMinion! Looking forward to more.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author! (Wait, seriously? I’ve never read a CM story before? I could have sworn…)
Emotions are Complicated
3,256 Words
By SamRose
SamRose is the same author who gave us the horror staple of the fandom Silent Ponyville, and this marks the first time I’ve read a story by this author that isn’t related in some way to that series. I dare say it leaves me pleased, and looking forward to the recent addition to the series.
Okay, honesty time: I still haven’t seen Legend of the Everfree. I know, I know, I can hear your collective gasps from here, and it’s still weeks before this gets posted. I tried watching it once a few months after its release, but the quality was crap and the stream kept skipping, so I quit and hadn’t bothered to try since. I’ll get to it with my ongoing re-watch of the entire series (currently on Season 6), but honestly? It’s the first EQG movie that didn’t excite me.
This all ends up working in my favor though, because this story was written before the movie came out. Go figure.
Emotions are Complicated centers on Flash Sentry, who is suffering from feelings of rejection and jealousy now that his world’s Twilight Sparkle is dating Timber. Frustrated and miserable for months, help finally comes in the form of Sunset Shimmer, who offers to let him unload his woes upon her.
I ended up really liking SamRose’s approach to this. There’s nothing new or original to the idea, and it plays out fairly well. The thing that feels original to me about it is the fact that it is starring Flash Sentry. Add to it the fact that his jealousy is visibly aimed at EQG Twilight, but is actually focused on Princess Twilight, and it makes the whole scenario a little more complicated and interesting. The fact is, we see all sorts of stories where Twilight reflects on Flash’s existence and what it means to her, but we almost never see a story that asks what his feelings are.
And that strikes me as unreasonable, not to mention unfair.
To make things more interesting, SamRose included an ‘alternate ending’ for the story. I hate it when authors do this, and this author has an unfortunate habit of doing it a lot. So imagine my surprise when, for once, I read an alternate ending that doesn’t invoke my ire. On the contrary, it’s actually pretty pleasing. Granted, it’s a sort of wish fulfillment (which is often the case for these things), but it worked well within the structure of the story. Heck, if the original story had been like that, I wouldn’t have had anything negative to say about it – although the original ending is certainly superior. So for once, I will set aside my typical annoyance and give a nod of approval.
Those violently opposed to Flash Sentry may not be overjoyed by this one, and that’s your prerogative. But as a general story, I found this one to be pleasant. Not as ambitious as this author’s usual fare, but a strong showing that SamRose can write more than just horror material, and write it well. It also shows that this author has advanced considerably in terms of writing ability since that first Silent Ponyville, and for that alone I can’t understate my satisfaction.
That sort of personal development should be rewarded.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Silent Ponyville — Needs Work
Silent Ponyville 2 — Needs Work
Silent Ponyville 3 — Needs Work
The Alchemy of Chemistry
32,412 Words
By Novel-Idea
Part I of VI of the Wavelengths Timeline Origins Arc
And we return to the AU created by Novel-Idea in which Sunset Shimmer stays on as Celestia’s student. Set long before the events of the Applications Arc, it begins with Sunset struggling through the end of the school term right after Celestia showed her the Mirror (dun-dun-dun!). She’s been assigned as the assistant teacher of Professor Polish’s alchemy class, and she knows this is a test of some sort. She’s also become the personal tutor of Moon Dancer, although her motivations for that are less than altruistic. Yet despite all her frustration and bitterness, Sunset has come to understand just what she’s been these last few years: a monster. Now wondering if that’s really what she wants to be, she’s questioning her sanity, her morality and her daily actions.
One part mystery, one part redemption fic, this was an excellent showcase of Sunset as a character. It goes to show that sometimes characters don’t need big life-changing events to want to improve themselves. Sometimes they can do it all on their own. It was endearing, watching Sunset battle with herself and struggle to find her path.
I can already see where this arc is going. Character introductions, Element alignments, that sort of thing. I’m already pleased, for this story has clarified Moon Dancer’s position well and done so in a way that feels familiar, yet also different. I’m looking forward to seeing how the others will shine in their individual roles.
Also, I find it curious that Novel-Idea seems to be already trying to hint at what timeline this really is, even now when we’re so far away from the reveal coming to fruition. I am not complaining. It was only an aside, perhaps even applied jokingly, but it’s a nice touch.
Well-written (as expected), heartwarming, and full of character, this was a great addition to an already interesting timeline. I’m as eager to keep going as I ever was. These stories just keep getting more and more interesting.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Cloudsdale Report — WHYRTY?
Princess Celestia: A Brief History — Pretty Good
The Application of Unified Harmony Magics — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Week:
Sweet Apple Acres: A Love Story by theycallmejub
The Destruction of the Self by Cold in Gardez
Silent Night by Fabby
A Clear, Sweet Tone by AbsoluteAnonymous
Discord's Reformed Villains Anonymous by dungeonguy88
H'ven Sent by otherunicorn
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It's not headcanon. It's just a story!
The annoying thing about two updates ago was that they no longer display the author name next to the story title on story pages. So I can't just copy both at once.
Thank you so much!!! More than anything, I loved your comment about Moon Dancer.
This has always been my goal with all Wavelengths characters: for them to feel like the ponies we know could have been. More than any, Moon Dancer is my favorite. I adore how she works off of Sunset.
I like to play the long game for my plot seeds. After all, all story threads must be earned.
Thank you so much again. I love reading your reviews, especially since you've (probably) seen at least some of the long game. It makes it all the sweeter.
If you don't mind me asking, if you were going to recommend someone start on Wavelengths, do you think Applications or Alchemy is a better starting point?
The copy/paste deal has been around for awhile. I've never used it, though. Anyway, great set of stories this week, and I'm really curious as to what you're gonna say about next week's.
4781816
I can see how that would be a problem, but at least you knew about it in the first place. I've been directly copying the html and manually writing the titles for the last few years!
4781862
Alchemy strikes me as the better starting point. Ignoring that it takes place first chronologically, it does a much better job of describing Sunset's situation and place in this AU without devoting half the story to it before getting to the story's point. Alchemy jumps right in and shows the reader everything they need to know while doing it. Add to that the fact that Twilight makes her first appearance here, so her complaints in Applications have more grounding if you've read Alchemy first.
I'm elated that you liked Heavy Rock. It's not my most popular story but it's the one I'm proudest of. Thanks for the awesome review!
4782117
I know exactly how that feels. You're very welcome!
4782116
Thank you for that. I've had some comments that coming in with Alchemy feels like starting a new TV series on Episode 2 instead of the Pilot. I've wondered if I should retool Alchemy a little to add a small amount of backstory (perhaps about the mirror, for example) to round out the world a bit. I wonder if a bit more of Applications could be used in Alchemy, though the delivery would have to be radically different.
4784553
Bah. What fools they are! As far as I'm concerned, I wouldn't change a thing about Alchemy. If people aren't 'getting it' and feel like they're starting on Episode 2, they need to learn to pay better attention to what they're reading. You've given them everything they need to get the broader picture. It's not your job to spoon feed them the background.