• Member Since 6th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Saturday

otherunicorn


T

(This story is sci-fi, and somewhat different to regular FIM stories.)
Aneki's world was small. It was spherical, and it only took a day to gallop from one side to the other. She had been taught nothing existed outside the sphere, but she wasn't so sure about that. Perhaps her world was a bottle, a container in which ponies had fled to live. A time would come when she gained the opportunity to investigate these things first hoof, if she lived that long.

Chapters (64)
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Comments ( 1183 )

Wow this is very interstng I like were this story is going, that an it really has got me wanting more. :ajsmug: keep up the good work friend :twilightsmile:

More challenging, though, was to try to go from bottom to top as quickly as possible.

Parkour pony? :pinkiehappy:

Well, I'd be above average if it wasn't for that bony lump marring my forehead.

No pegasi, and... no magic either? Woah. And apparently she's some kind of cyberpony, since she has "fingers" in her hooves... This is getting more bizarre (and intriguing) by the minute!

Foals were born with their front hooves the same as their rear, good for nothing but walking on, but as they grew, their fingers appeared, along with their forehoove walls changing so that they could be retracted.

Buh. No cyber. Some kind of genetic manipulation? Definitely intriguing...

"Good morning Aneki, nice of you to call in," a male voice spoke into my mind.

And now, telepathy... huh. Does that mean they don't speak out loud at all?

As the sound of that receded, it revealed quiet groans and moans echoing through the disused corridors.

...please tell me that's just the metal groaning under the stress of higher levels :rainbowderp:

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"Good morning Aneki, nice of you to call in," a male voice spoke into my mind.

And now, telepathy... huh. Does that mean they don't speak out loud at all?

Only between the comms device and the wearer. Pony to pony remains vocal.

3782013 Ah.

Could you conjure up some kind of schematic or model of the Mane Way and the structure of the world? It's not quite clear from the description... I'm having trouble visualizing it :applejackconfused:

3783657 No, I mean, you say it's a sphere... but are they standing on a sphere, like, a small planet, with downwards gravity towards the center? Or is their 'surface' a flat disk, with a half-sphere of air above it and a half-sphere of "ground" below it? The whole structure of the world isn't clear to me. And that Mane Way seems like something to cover a flat disk surface...

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That was the Mane Way. Yes, it is a flat disk. Structure drawing is there now too.
Remember the title. Life IN a bottle. Aneki also comments on them living in a container that may be inside yet another container.
They are living inside a sphere, with a flat disk about half way up. That is their ground level reference. For a lack of a better comparison, they are an ants nest in a tennis ball, or a snow dome, or even The Truman Show. Whatever is causing gravity has it facing in a single direction, from the top of the dome, down to the very bottom of the underlevels. The diameter is under 20 miles (?). At the edge, their city creeps up the outer walls a few miles up, but not so high as to cause pressure/extreme cold problems for the ponies. In fact the temperature is very well regulated whatever height you are at. The disk itself is mostly covered by buildings stacked upon more buildings.
I have not mentioned a sun because there isn't one. Below ground level are the underlevels - effectively 10 miles of them, going straight down. The upper layers contain the typical under city workings, as well as evidence of old residential areas. The lower portions? Who knows, as no pony has been down there in living memory. The water must come from somewhere, Something is generating heat. Perhaps something is generating gravity too.
Being a sphere, the width directly affects the height, so sometimes I wonder if an egg shaped world or a cylinder would be better, or if I should just reduce the diameter, but I do want it BIG, and somewhat crowded. It is the mofo of all vaults/stables.
I added some clarification within the story itself (as well as found about a dozen @#$% errors that had somehow evaded the spelling detector).

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An ants nest in a tennis ball... I see. That explains nicely :twilightsmile:

"Well, it's just you, me and my sore legs," I told my lamp.

Heehee. This kind of things is exactly what I love about your writing style :rainbowkiss:

So I had passed the source? It was hard to be sure, with the sounds being transmitted through both the structure of H'ven and through the air.

Reminds me of looking for caves in Minecraft by digging towards the sounds of moaning zombies, heh :rainbowwild:

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I've not played Minecraft, so any similarity is merely coincidental!

This story is good. It has my approval and guarantee of continued readership.

Continuous was a more accurate description because although the descent had occurred all at once, it had been interrupted by every protrusion, beam or other bit of structure that could get in the way. I was pretty sure I had hit every last one of them.

And I'm pretty sure all of these hits were the reason you never reached very-terminal velocity, and in fact survived, hmm? :ajsmug:

Eventually it reached the point where it was simply too much to bear, so my mind decided not to bear it at all. Ah, that felt better. In fact, it didn't feel anything at all. This wasn't too bad actually.

Ah, she's in shock. Yup, that's about how that feels.

Oh, that was right; my boss had told me not to risk my life, or in simpler terms, not to die. That must be it. I wasn't dead because I wasn't allowed to be.

Yup, clearly in shock. That fun state in which the pain in your body is dulled by dulling everything that goes through your mind. Been there, done that. Could pull myself out of it enough to think more clearly, but with that, the pain came back too. Not a fun experience :pinkiesick:

If only there was some sort of magical healing potion I could simply drink and be healed.

I see what you did there :raritywink:

"No they aren't," the voice stated.

:rainbowderp:

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Continuous was a more accurate description because although the descent had occurred all at once, it had been interrupted by every protrusion, beam or other bit of structure that could get in the way. I was pretty sure I had hit every last one of them.

And I'm pretty sure all of these hits were the reason you never reached very-terminal velocity, and in fact survived, hmm? :ajsmug:

Indeed. Unintentional Parkour.

Eventually it reached the point where it was simply too much to bear, so my mind decided not to bear it at all. Ah, that felt better. In fact, it didn't feel anything at all. This wasn't too bad actually.

Ah, she's in shock. Yup, that's about how that feels.

It would be more of a shock if she wasn't in shock. :pinkiegasp:

If only there was some sort of magical healing potion I could simply drink and be healed.

I see what you did there :raritywink:

:scootangel:

I love that feel of coming back to the internet after not being able to access it for a while and finding one of your favourite stories has updated :rainbowkiss:

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I love it when someone calls a story of mine one of their favorites :pinkiehappy:

"You are lucky to be alive at all," the voice stated, "If not for the modifiers already partly converting you, the fall would have killed you."

Well, that's a sobering thought :rainbowderp:

Not being spherical simply did not make sense, structurally, as so much strength would be sacrificed.

Actually, just a dome generally works pretty well... and that's still pretty much what it would be, with that description, no?

My legs would soon be unstrapped and the doors opened, and I would be awake!

Wait, what? She isn't unstrapped already? That's.... kinda worrying, if you already got what is supposed to be his message urging you to escape? :rainbowderp:

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Actually, just a dome generally works pretty well... and that's still pretty much what it would be, with that description, no?

That is one of the two possibilities she must consider. Going that she thinks that the outside of H'ven could be vacuum (i.e. nothing) or possibly high pressure, the flat surface of a dome would be a major weakness. She's considering explosion or implosion as two reasons for the design to be spherical. They also know the walls curve inwards below ground level.

Wait, what? She isn't unstrapped already? That's.... kinda worrying, if you already got what is supposed to be his message urging you to escape? :rainbowderp:

The message was to escape when given the opportunity.
My reasons behind this:
-4J2 was covering his ass from as many angles as he could. Arguably once given her final sedative injection, it wouldn't matter, but there are procedures to follow, as in all bureaucratic institutions.
-As the door still required unsealing before she could make a run, having her get up before it was opened would blow any chance she had.

3785280 I thought about a similar world some time ago, but ponies lived on the inward surface of the sphere, there was a sun in the center which generated heat (which was both sun/moon as it rotated), cold was coming from outside the sphere (radius was smaller where mountains were so it was hot in mountain areas), and everything was grey.

Typo?

"We need better a recording medium, or at least a descent way of archiving stuff," I muttered.

Shouldn't that be "decent"?

Oh, and yay adventure!

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It would be. Apparently I played the game Descent too much.

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I started my original version of this 17 years ago. Aneki was an anthro pony, a go-between between humans and ponies. In that version, they lived on a small globe that rotated in a larger globe that formed the sky. It was a spaceship, with the engine inside the globe also forming gravity. That story concentrated more on "religious" politics though. The moon ran across the sky on rails! It was also a many times larger than H'ven - big enough to have countries.
This time the world is somewhat different.
This is the original Aneki:
fc01.deviantart.net/fs25/f/2008/080/f/f/Pony_Chronicals_by_otherunicorn.jpg

3821932 The more the worlds, the better. There can be worlds where 3D space is a projection of abstract spaces, worlds with discreet coordinates, worlds where sun is driven by friendship... Worlds where Sun is a pony, where ponies can randomly divide or converge, worlds where there is no ground but clouds, worlds where ponies grow on trees, worlds where nets made of rainbows hang in the sky, or where multiple planets are attached to each other... worlds where objects are intelligent and ponies are not, worlds where each pony lives in three spaces and talks to ponies in each of them simultaneously...

3821992
If we boil it right down, each and every one of us describes a different world, even when we think we are describing the same one simply because our imaginations are unique.
Besides, it would be boring if we all wrote about the same world all the time!

D'aww, Aneki's too cute/pretty/adorkable to die!

Wow! This is great. Reminds me of Ergo Proxy among other things. I hope the world won't be too OC-centered, but even if, Aneki is a good character. Onto the next chapter! :yay:

If only there was some sort of magical healing potion I could simply drink and be healed. Ouch. Now wouldn't ouch that be something.

Fallout: Equestria :rainbowlaugh:

I really love this story. :rainbowkiss:
:heart::heart::heart:

along with two admonishments for trying to get seconds.

Hah! :rainbowlaugh:

Oh boy, this is really sucking me in. If this was all posted at once, it'd be one of those tales I'd do an all-nighter for, 6 o'clock alarm clock for going to work be damned. :rainbowwild:

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I had a look at a bit of Ergo Proxy yesterday. I'd never heard of it before, but I can see what you mean!

All I needed now were some lights, some tools and some way to get out of this damn place!

She might need more things... I guess... something against nothing, something against something that likes something in the underground, something for not having to explain to her boss, and something against that something?.. :unsuresweetie:

I'm definitely liking the direction this is going and eagerly await future chapters!

Although two things in particular made me kinda stop and read them again:

"5D3, 2EQ, 3C3, 1K8 and 5G4," and answered,

slightly put me off, was that intended to be worded like that?

Also, you did the "descent"/"decent" thing again,

A quick glance around found me a descent sized garbage bin

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No, that was a wording blunder! And elevators and spelling appear to not mix, as I spell decent wrong every time my character is near one!
Thanks.

Yay for parkour pony! :yay:

"Yo, Ann baby, when you leavin' work? I'm gettin' tired of waitin',"

"Ann(e)", huh? :rainbowwild:

For Luna's sakes

Huh, only noticed that now... they know Luna?

3890525
To make it worse, the word "descent" doesn't even appear in the chapter :rainbowwild:

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"Ann(e)", huh? :rainbowwild:

Just short for Aneki. Yes, the similarity didn't go unnoticed by me.

For Luna's sakes

Huh, only noticed that now... they know Luna?

That is what they call their artificial moon. The association is obvious. That there is no corresponding Celestia is of concern.

To make it worse, the word "descent" doesn't even appear in the chapter :rainbowwild:

No, but an elevator does! :pinkiehappy:

Aww, poor unicorns!

"You have to admit that despite the less than savory side of all this, it has lead to a successful and sustainable society. Imagine the difficulty in keeping life balanced in such a relatively small space."

Scientists have eliminated one problem (probably, inability to evaluate durability of their project because of magic) by adding unpredictable technology. At least there weren't accidents like chimera outbreak from FOE...

"Will packs of ponies descend to the lower levels trying to eliminate me?"

If they're not yet afraid of that underground they have in the underground?

"We give you fingers. We take away your magic."

Strange that they haven't given them lots of other types of means of manipulation... fingers... why fingers?..

but even this far down below the doors open several floors above

Huh? Why would there be other open doors leading straight into the elevator shaft? :rainbowderp:

By the way... why doesn't Aneki have a horn on the cover image? :rainbowhuh:

Because she doesn't have a horn, she has a lump. By the sounds of it, the growth of the horn was stunted by the modifiers.

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but even this far down below the doors open several floors above

Huh? Why would there be other open doors leading straight into the elevator shaft? :rainbowderp:

She opened them. She propped them open with a bin. She jumped through the gap. They are still open. :twilightsmile:

By the way... why doesn't Aneki have a horn on the cover image? :rainbowhuh:

I figured her horn would be small, and as she is embarrassed by it, she hides it in her mane.

Heh heh, noooooo , not the fancy hat :fluttershyouch:

Didn't see any glaring errors... I greatly enjoy your story.

I'm enjoying this quite a bit so far. I think my favorite thing (besides the spunky protagonist) is the way they have no incoming resources in the city, on account of being in a bottle. So they have to just re-purpose old paper and old recording tapes and such, over and over, forever. It's a cool rationale for why they don't have a running history.

I like this. I really do.

It's rather hard to focus people on OCs when writing fanfiction, but you've managed.

One has to wonder how they got systems that can pinpoint her position without pinging any external sources... :derpyderp2:

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One would presume the usual methods for the mapper/comms unit to work would be something like combined GPS and cell-phone repeaters. When power was off when Aneki was down on sub level 15, she was forced to use a direct connection as the comms system was not working. The mapper itself did continue to work. The GPS "satellites" are be built into the structure of H'ven itself.

That warrants clarification in the story itself:

Before I set off, I checked my mapper was no longer configured to transmit details of my travels to anypony else, and saw that it, like the comms unit, had been cut off from the communications system. Actually, being cut from the comms system was probably what had disabled that function. That suited me fine. I didn't want it sending out any 'here am I" messages while I was on the run. At least the mapping function was independent of that, reliant on markers hidden within the structure of H'ven itself.

It's a very interesting scenario/world you've created here; I'm quite looking forward to finding out what the answers are to the mysteries you've set up.

OMG YESSSS!!! UPDATES!!! Now to go read the awesomeness...

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