This story is a sequel to Dawn of Sigma
For more about Faina and her home, check out A New Life and The Mine in the Mountain, this story is no longer considered cannon in the New Life universe.
What if the bat ponies are the dwarves of Equestria? Follow along as Faina, a young thestral from the Crystal Mountain Mines, becomes the first of her clan to experience the outer world in thousands of years. How will the rest of the world greet her? Will she return home with a smile, or in the dead of night with tears running down her face?
Another backstory for another DnD character I made! Inspired entirely from this.
Update: Got a commission! Thanks to Ferris for a job well done!
Chapters (4)
This sound good. I will follow this.
Thestral. It's the most common fandom given name for them too.
You should link it into a separate story chapters this way you don't have to decide on one way just put a link in the note to let them decide which they prefer
5374057 Not sure what you're referring to, this chapter was added as more of a bonus
OMG
Pinkie Pie happened XDDDDD
I like Thestrals and I like Dwarves, and I am currently liking your characterisation. I have a feeling I will like this story, tracking.
Im really liking how you write Faina. You provided a few traits that are just odd enough to set her apart from the norm, and you haven't fallen into the usual trap of having the OC be all cutsie and naive. Its refreshing, and I do hope to read more from you soon!
5527871 I personally hate that type of OC, or the one where its like "he's a demon that loves ponies but isnt understood" no offense to anyone with that OC but it just makes no sense
im aiming with creating a side species of bat pony, not so different that they are super alienated, but just have not been outside their mine in a thousand years, so almost everything she comes across is strange and new.
I know it's sad to say, but the digging song is really neat.
Now that I have read this chapter I will give you some words.
Word one: rushed.
While interesting and entertaining, the story feels ludicrously rushed, bordering on incoherent. Take some time, step back and add about three to five times the detail to what is going on.
Word two: silly.
There is a silliness to this work. The characters bounce between one emotional or mental extreme to the other and it is quite silly.
Word three: disjointed.
I find myself almost dizzy from all the input that is declared in a single line. In one sentence our Thrstral is playing with a faucet and the next she has a knife... why? BECAUSE! There needs to be some connectivity between events, again slow it down and you will have quite the funny story.
Not bad so far.
6994562 sorry, but this fic was not doing the character justice.