• Member Since 6th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 10th, 2016

An A10 Warthog

I write fanfiction. About ponies. And relevant topics. I hate these things so much, as I have a lot to say and no where near enough room to say it.


September 7th, 1986. Equestria arrives on Earth and declares humanity 'evil' and 'unfit'.

September 16th, 1986. Talks between the races begin.

Quickly, the Soviet Union and the United States are forced to join forces to save humanity.

For some of the humans this could be a godsend. For many, however, they know what they have to fight for.

The humans know that they can only win together, and they will have to unite in order to prevail.

A/N: This fic will mostly be pro-human rather than pro-conversion.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 402 )

Sir you win the internet

"Lady Celestia, tear down this barrier!" - Ronald Reagen

sounds like this is gonna be good

Right, then, Equestria...
If you piss off two superpowers that have been gearing up for a war for the past nearly 50 years, there's not much sympathy I can give you.

I bet the Soviets will be happy to destroy a nazi empire again.

You see. I think we would completely wipe out the ponies in less than a week
I hope that happens

The entire country of Equestria, Has come out from the ocean, to declare war upon cold war era Earth?
And the Soviet Union and the United States must team up?



If you know who I am or you've read my stories, you'll know that I would like this type of story

Why is it that Conversion Bureau stories are always on one of two extremes. Either the ponies are "good" and humanity is the personification of Satan or the ponies are "Nazi-Communist-Satanist" puppy killers who want to commit omnicide against a humanity that somehow curbstomps the ponies despite ponies possessing abilities that would cripple us (think telekinetically induced brain aneurism). Just once I'd like to see a Conversion Bureau story that has canon!Equestria land on normal-not-dystopian-present-day-Earth and have everyone deal with the issues that typically result in Bureau stories (magic human killing shield, immigration, etc.).

i will enjoy this as long as the ponys arent going to kick ass just saying all reality they should be scared to face a warlike race that will forever be in war :moustache:

go read grey scale it's what you want

"An purple curtain has descended over the pacific"- Winston Churchill (yes I know he is not alive)

1945919 Down with fascism! Up with communism! Then let capitalism beat both their asses with one hand tied behind its back.

1946424 I think you meant "up with stalinism".

1946456 That... just made my day. :yay:

You'd be surprised how many there are, there just hard to come by these days.


Try Conversion Bureau Not Alone

Celestia says: "Niemand hat die Absicht, eine Barriere zu errichten!"

A race of friendly, harmony loving ponies are supposed to be a threat against a destructive, militarised race? what in the ever loving ****.

See the problem with the Conversion Bureau stories, is that the equines are generally shown taking harmony to the extreme to the point where all of them are literally shoved out of character. It's less "Humanity fighting friendly ponies" and more "Humanity fighting the deluded minions of a tyrant sun-god". At least the pro-human stories are way better than pro-conversion stories, misanthropes are pretty screwed up.

REAGAN SMASH!:flutterrage: I do hope the Star Wars system is created in this universe.

Oh God, the US and Soviets teaming up? Good Lord, I never thought I'd see one of these. :derpyderp1:

I can also recommend Option Gamma. It's very well written and it has an excellent story.

DEFCON music loaded and ready.

DEFCON 4 in five minutes!

"They mutual consensus on arrival would be eight days. " May want to fix that.

There is absolutely zero way this can end well for the ponies. All we would have to do is launch one nuke (or more depending on how good of AA a unicorn can be) and either Celestia puts up a shield or they all die. Let's say that she does put up a shield, how long can she hold it up before she gets tired? Even if her and Luna swapped, each time they swap they would have to lower it a bit as to now allow the radiation from the previous layer to fall on them when they switch. Long story short, nuclear firearms win the day. +1'd for the story, it's pretty chill.

"I want to help you."

If this is TCB Celestia as we know here, this will not herald good things.

Oh the ponies are gonna get fucked

lol, Equestria is fucked.
Nuclear stockpile in 1986
-USSR: 45,000 warheads
-US: 25,000 warheads

That's a lot

soon the ponies will see the glory of socialism... shooting hundreds of bullets per minute.

Lol so the Equestrians finally see why my counterpart does the things he does? Hooray! Humanity can jerk off, ponies are the future :pinkiecrazy:

Lol no. Humanity's screwed. Why, you ask. Because
1) Equestria's got Magic
2) Equestria has 3 GODS (Celestia, Luna, and Discord) that can be unleashed upon humanity
3) Equestria's got Pinkie Pie.

1952044 Don't forget all the chemical weapon stockpiles that some countries had at the time, especially soviets. :pinkiecrazy:

In a "realistic" scenario (as realistic as can be a war between the humanity and magical ponies), humanity would have the upper hand. With thousand of years of war experience plus our superior technology even a Third World country will mope the floor with the equestrians, not to mention two Earth superpowers already prepared for World War 3 . ( I suggest read chapter 2 of "The Audience" of RealityCheck for a better analysis).

The problem is, in CB stories the magical side tends to be overpowered: the ponies are near invincible in combat (the fallen human soldiers quickly switch sides via serum, the barrier is nuke-proof and Celestia is a literal Sue-God who can survive a Supernova.
So, let´see.

1952332 and the bio-weapons, don't forget the bio-weapons. Chemical weapons will also served as psychological weapons, the wounds they inflict will demoralize the Equestrians quite easily. Seriously go search the pictures :pinkiesick:

1)Magic, what can magic do? Only Twilight have OP magic other ponies only have basic telekinesis. The power of magic in the show is very inconsistant, at a time Twilight need to use all her effort to just levitate an Usar Minor. Then she can vaporize rocks without much effort. But keep in mind that is just Twilight. Also unicorns in equestria are not trained in combat magic.
2)Three Gods? lol I don't see Celestia and Luna as Gods. Celestia control the sun, but she can't use that power on anything else. Proof? When she fight Queen Chrysalis she is instantly defeated, and not much damage is done to the surrounding. Thus proven not much energy is involve. Luna is weaker than Celestia so no problem. Then we have Discord, what makes you think Celestia and Luna will release Discord? Futhermore, what makes you think Discord will side with them? Remember alicorn =/= God
3)...... yeah I don't have an argument for that :facehoof:
4) Humans outnumber the ponies by god knows how much. Humans are natural predators, every one of us can be a potential soldier, but ponies aren't. As seen in FiM most ponies just panic and start running around when danger comes, even Pinkie Pie.

All TCB ponies must be purged, every single one of them. Except the Pro-human ponies.
Let the genocide begin :pinkiecrazy:

"I want to help you."


"Yes, your televisions only get about fifty channels. I can upgrade you to an expanded cable package and get you upwards of three hundred!"

Lol you forgot about me, Slendermare, Smile Pony, as well as a few others :pinkiecrazy: We are demon ponies. We cannot be killed by mere nuclear explosions (even though they still hurt like a bitch). Let the massacre of humanity begin :pinkiecrazy:

1952238 You really think magic can defeat nuclear or even conventional weapons? Remember, by their own claims they haven't been to war in a thousand years, and if you look at Greek, Roman or Egyptian mythology, gods can be and are often times killed by mortals. Plus, she lacks conviction. And so called 'harmony' is where her magic comes from.

Buddy, I'm the ponified version of Jeff the Killer. Read the shit I went through when Jane the Pony caught me, and then get back to me. Bullets are nothing compared to what I went through then. Not to mention that Slendermare and Smile Pony are demons, and demons can't be killed by conventional means :pinkiecrazy: I should know. Slendermare and I didn't meet on the best of terms :rainbowlaugh: (see Jeff the Killer vs. Slenderman for details)
((OOC: God damn these people need to learn to not take my comments so seriously... I'm just playing the role of a psychopath, spicing up the comments section a little bit for luls. If you're crazy enough to take the in-character Jeff the Pony comments seriously, then you sir, are the real nutter :twilightangry2: ))

No, do NOT let the genocide begin. Genocide is exactly what we are trying to avoid here. The whole point is that genocide is a horrible, horrible thing regardless of who is committing it.

You and the other fan-characters you listed are not canon. Your argument is completely non-sensical. It would be like me countering with "yeah, but humanity has Batman and Superman on their side!". They are not in this story, they are not even in the source material, they only exist in certain fanon works (and in at least one case, only in your head).

1. Equestria has functional, limited magic. Their magic-users are not all-powerful, and neither is their magic itself. It has been shown to have rules and limits just like any other fundamental force. Furthermore, as has already pointed out Twilight Sparkle is the exception, not the rule. Very few ponies are as magically powerful or capable as she is.

2. There is absolutely no evidence in the show that Celestia or Luna are considered gods of any kind. They are more powerful than other ponies, yes, but not infinitely so or even close to it. It has been noted that a collection of unicorns working together are capable of moving the sun and the moon, so able to do so is not considered to be a "godlike" level of power on the show. Furthermore, there is quite a bit of evidence that the sun and moon of Equestria are not at all the same thing as our own sun and moon. They seem to be much smaller, much closer objects than our own. Evidence: When Celestia raises the sun the effect is seen nigh-instantaneously. Given the speed of light, this means that their sun must be relatively close to their planet. In addition, Rarity's wings actually burnt up from flying too close to the sun, which supports the idea that their sun is significantly closer to their planet than our own. Since it appears to be the same size as our sun, this means that it must be significantly smaller. We can thus conclude that much less actual power would be required to move Equestria's sun and moon than our own, and so one cannot use "but they move the sun and the moon!" as justification for calling Celestias and Luna goddesses.

Also, as has already been pointed out, Celestia got beaten by Queen Chrysalis. In that battle, she was not shown to be a nigh-omnipotent goddess. That is, the one time we actually got to see Celestia battle she was nowhere near as powerful as some fans have made her out to be.

3. Most of Pinkie's powers are fanon, and what "powers" she has demonstrated in canon material were still no match for the likes of Discord. It can be assumed that she also not nearly as powerful as fans have made her out to be.

((OOC: Read...my...last...damn...comment... :twilightangry2: ))

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