• Member Since 9th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen August 22nd

Aqua_Breeze


I'm nothing too special, just a simple writer hoping to entertain a few others.

T
Source

It's been a year now since Twilight vanished after attempting a sonic rainboom. She's spent her time fighting in WWII alongside her brothers in arms. Now, after a bad jump, she finds herself back in Equestria. After a well deserved rest, a nice, warm bath, and the most unusual breakfast, she begins to tell her story.

Chapters (19)
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Comments ( 140 )

The story advances EXTREMELY fast. But that being said, the premise sounds interesting. I hope to see more soon. :pinkiehappy:

Like Sparky said, this progressed rather fast. But it has a lot of promise, so I'll like and fave to keep an eye on it.

4970860 Not much really to do when you arrive home all of a sudden late at night. Twilight's visits with Celestia and Luna were a little quick to reflect that very aspect.

Still, glad you like it.

The pace is a bit fast,but it's an interesting idea, will keep an eye open.

very good story so far and I can't wait to read more of it. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

This story needs a like button for each individual chapter. While the pacing is still too fast for my taste, the story itself is excellent. Though one thing I would add in is more emotive reactions. How do the ponies react when hearing Twi eats meat, that sort of thing. I hope it helps.

5003470 I actually decided to save those reactions for a later chapter. Hopefully you'll be able to understand why when it goes up.

5003636 looking forward to it. Though I'm really curious as to how a small purple unicorn would be accepted among the US Marines. Though I suspect that question will be answered shortly in a future chapter.

5003803 The next one will explain that. Though, it'll be a couple of weeks at least before you can get that answer, I'm afraid.

You've made a good fic here dude!^_^

It's really great... keep on writing, eh!^_^

I like this!^_^

Reminds me of one I'm working on.

Except in mine Twilight is a Navy Seal and fights in Operation Desert Storm then.

5004137 That sounds like an interesting story for sure. I'd like to check it out once you put it up.

this is well worth keeping a eye on.

Damn, going with the cliffhanger. But I have been guilty of it myself.

starting to look real good. do keep working on this story.

Enjoying the continuation of your story. I like the story is getting commentary from Celestia and her friends. Keep it up! Awesome job.

"I will ask that you do your best to keep the violence and foul language to a minimum, Twilight," Celestia said.
"No promises," Twilight said.

I held a curiosity in the last chapter, but these final lines sold it for me! :rainbowlaugh:

an abandoned hedgehog.

I think you mean 'tank trap' as a hedgehog wouldn't be able to survive MG42 fire.

(first mistake I've noticed, may post more later.)

5045702 I may actually be mistaken, but I do believe hedgehogs littered the beaches during the Normandy beach landings. Allied forces used them as cover when moving up the beaches while being fired upon by MG gunners in the bunkers at the top of the beaches.

However, thanks for bringing this up. Let's me know that I need to look into it a little more.

shining is going to be so owned

5053275 I was thinking the same thing. shining will not last 10 seconds.:rainbowlaugh:

I agree, given the grappling taught to Marines, and Twi's new... what would be the best word.... blood thirst?? No, determination, perhaps, let's just say, Twi won't give up, and Shining is going to be very much surprised.

Thought so, shining got his flank hooved to him. Excellent work. Though I'm a bit concerned, Twi is home, she can relax. Always bring on your guard can be very wearing on someone's psychological health

5065691 She can relax, yes, so I'll try and explain my reasoning for this portrayal as best I can.

She just got forced out of a war torn world the night previous. She was also about to drop into Japan in case the bombing went awry. As anybody should know, Twilight doesn't like to just suddenly give up, and I used that when portraying her as a tad over cautious. It does seem like she's pretty much accepted that she's no longer in a war, but that determination in her tells her to still be cautious cause it might not even be real.

And then there's also the fact that the sudden thrust into peace doesn't sit well with her entirely. She wants to believe that she's really home, and that's what she shows on the outside. However, her brain just hasn't had enough time to properly accept that she's no longer in danger. Her brain wants her to air on the side of caution just in case none of this is real. After all, one does not simply go from war to peace in a matter of seconds... it just doesn't happen.

Anyway, hope that helps clear things up. If you're still curious about anything, do feel free to ask.

5065854 Very reasonable explanation, and I can certainly agree with you on that, going from
'I'm in a war situation' to 'I'm home and can relax' can take some time, have to keep the idea that it's only a matter of hours to Twi, not the several days we've had between chapters. Got it, and thank you for the response.

clips

Does she have a Garand/Springfield as well? Because I can't imagine she'd run around with a Kar98k or Mosin Naugant.

5069078 Clips for her 1911. Pistols use clips.

5069133
I would cringe if this were on /k/, but I don't have the heart in my to. The only time a clip is used in a pistol is when said firearm has a fixed magazine, like some older models. If you're thinking of a revolver, it's a little different.

5069181 Well, I suppose you do learn something new every day. I looked into it, and you're right. However, you also gave me an idea for another chapter. I'm going to keep my statement earlier as true just for the sake of the story. Hopefully my logic in that chapter will help you understand this choice.

5073906
Just pointing something out and giving out information. Its your story, you do what you wish. I just find it a bit irritating that two thirds of the stories I read that involve guns call magazines 'clips' when its something like an M4A1 or M9 Beretta.

5073913 I do appreciate the tip. Like I said, it gives me an idea for a later chapter.

And don't worry about getting even slightly irritated by that kind of thing, I'm not one to judge pet peeves.

5074016
Alrighty then! I'll just sit here, waiting for the next chapter to be produced. :pinkiesmile:

while ignoring the fact that I should be writing, myself

Comment posted by Sparky Brony deleted Sep 30th, 2014

You are keeping the story flowing quite well, though I would suggest a quick once over, I saw 2 typos that jerked my attention. Other than that, yay, keep up the good work.

One of the main things I notice (it's not too noticeable, I just see things like that) is that you put periods after a ", even when there's a question mark or when a period should go before the quotation mark.

(For example)

"Any friend of yours is welcome to stay here as long as they need".

Sweet in all meanings of the word.:twilightsmile:

Ah gawd. Another story about "glorious american army" fighting nazis in Europe. Knowing that yankees didnt do a damn thing in this conflict in European region, moreover their banks funded nazis in the first place, looking at this story... :fluttershbad:

Comment posted by djponyfl deleted Oct 14th, 2014

5138473
At the very least you could just say 'oh another 'glorious American army', not my taste' is simple enough. :applejackunsure:

Beside, I prefer fic where this character personality change either little or greatly like went missing for 10 years and come back as terrifying killer. :pinkiecrazy:

5138473
Explain how, exactly, we funded the Nazis, when we had an embargo on them and refused to trade with them. I don't care if I'm chomping on the bait or not, I want to hear your reasoning for this.

5138473 First of all, who told you we did nothing in the European campaign? Seconddly, who told you we funded the Nazi regime?

If you're going to hate on my story, that's fine, but spew out facts in this regard. That post of yours is filled with nothing but lies and it's going to piss some people off, myself included (and it's actually pretty damn hard to piss me off, believe it or not).

P.S. This story is about the Marines, not the army. It's a little historically inaccurate cause I switched them, but it's still about the Marines.

don't waste your time with that plot we all know the real truth. my family shed blood and life in that hell.

5141116 I do hope my story is not coming off as offensive. I simply wish to provide a good story merely for entertainment purposes, and I mean no disrespect towards any of the soldiers or Marines who fought in WW2, their families, or their friends.

5141311 I really do like your story and I find it rather good and well put to gather.
but that other person really go to me. I will not even bother to say his name.
do keep up the good work..

5141385 I am glad you can enjoy the story, and I am also doubly glad you don't see it as offensive.

And believe me when I say I understand where you're coming from with that one guy getting to you. I just don't get why people feel they need to abuse the freedom of speech that the men and women of our armed forces have fought and died to let them keep. As a Marine poolee myself, I take a little more offence when those sacrifices are talked about in such a manner. Those men fought and died in WW2 to protect the lives of innocent civilians, the least people could do is NOT openly disrespect them like that.

This remind me of Road Runner 'See The Zone' :moustache:
Aerial assault :moustache:

No hedgehog is right, watch "Saving Private Ryan". Those steel X's they use for cover are the "hedgehogs", they were meant to damage or destroy landing craft since during high tide they would be underwater. Though I noticed one mistake, the code name for D-Day was "Operation Overlord" though one of the assaults in the Pacific may have been code named Neptune I'm not sure. Though if you wanted to drop her into a nasty fight the Marines fought in, The Battle of Guadalcanal fought from August '42-February '43 was particularly bad. So much so Guadalcanal became known as "The Island of Death". I watch the History Channel a lot so I retain military facts easily.

5163121

I am aware of some pretty harsh battles the Marines did actually take part in. However, keep in mind that she was only gone a year roughly, and the war was just about finished when she got back to Equestria, so the battle of Guadalcanal wouldn't fit in the story cause it was just too early in the war.

"bonsai attacks."
I think you mean banzai attacks.
Although if a bonsai attacked you, well that would be pretty damn scary.

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