Hello everyone! I'm a Anime lover, an avid gamer. Kinda a crappy writter but eh im trying
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Ash was betrayed by his friends but one fairly new friend stood by him, because she too had been betrayed by her friends and family. She had been banished from her home and she didn't want anyone to go through what she did and her name is Twilight Sparkle. Co-author: Sonic Rainboom Dash
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Wow, I'm paying attention in this one.
7145192 shit man that means alot go look at the comments on my previous story and you will see why
i think they just stepped on a landmine that said "BUCK EQUESTRIA" in bold black print and that landmine was named Twilight Sparkle.
7145401 lol
7145418 let that be a lesson to you. there is a reason she is the element of MAGIC.
though now begs the question, will she ever return and help them when they need it the most or will she be all "you don't trust me enough to help me with that impostor cadence so i'm not going to lift a hoof to stop sombra or tirek so go buck yourself."
yea when write a pissed off character i go all out.
7145441 well i may just leave it up to the readers though the never come back appeals to me I would love to "see" the look on their faces when she comes back as a .... Oh right spoliers shit also i did this whole chapter in about 2 to 3 hours and i hadn't planed on doing it today so i kinda winged it
7145441 this also means discord will never be reformed
7145458 well he might break out again but with how depressed the other five will be his chaos won't be fun anymore and fluttershy is the one to comfort him and in return manage to reform him as a bonus.
7145441 doing that would make the series longer though I'll probably have to have ash convince her to go through with it
7145472 well i could always have an "random wild" absol apear and defeat all but tierek also what did you think about the whole faust's soul thing don't worry that wasn't a one time interaction
7145472 and nice idea i might go with that
7145489 having a little trouble with a new chapter name it was going to be
but now im not so sure
7145483 it actually made sense as you would think something that was called the 'Elements Of Harmony' you would think they would be some sort of sentient weapon that does whats in it's user's heart, like freeing Nightmare Moon, or stopping Discords chaos.
7145592 never thought about it like that but yeah it does cool
7145592 and they technically sentient in the show since they are connected to the tree of harmony
7145610 and if you think about it, Twilight was always meant for the element of magic sence her cutie mark is on the tree's center because her 'friends' (for now at least as the sarcastic tone) cutie marks were added later when the elements were returned.
now i can't wait to see how ash is betrayed by his friends. though i have a feeling the a Pokemon *Cough* Zoroark *Cough* is involved.
7145586 here's a chapter name.
7145690 damn thats good i was thinking about having faust being "someponys" *cough* twilight *cough* ancestor but i dont know
7145686 and in what way?
7145714 that Pokemon has the illusion ability which let it cloak itself in a seamless illusion of it's target.
Just change it to the anime version and you can have it make a perfect copy of Ash and make it so that it's causing all sorts of damage and mischief and having ash take all the blame.
7145740 oh my fucking celestia while i like the uniqe idea I cant zoroark is a very beloved pokemon to me though im not sure why however i may be able to incorporate it in some were if not directly
7145740 however if say trip caught one and told it to do so i would be able to easly
7145759 and now we have a plot.
7145740 also i kinda thought that if faust was twilights ancestor then that would explain why she was beyond pissed
7145762 yep
7145763 well i think that since she did make the Elements of Harmony and the Tree of Harmony, and because Celestia, Luna and Twilight's cutie mark where always there, i would say that faust is Celestia and Luna's Mother and Twilight's grandmother, but was hidden by her to help repair the rift her daughters formed without Twilight ever knowing of her unless the situation was dire enough to warrant her direct intervention, or when such a time when she finally reunite with her family.
7145763 and if it's not too Farfetched ;P , when we get to the other world, but before Twilight regains conciseness have her see Foust in her equestrian form and as a pokemon that you think would match Twilight's personality.
This is wonderful.
Please continue, and don't let anyone ever tell you to stop.
You don't know how happy this story makes me.
The dialogue is written like a 4chan post and Celestia goes from "Twilight no plz calm down" to "BANISHED 5EVER" so damn fast you'd think she was bipolar. You need an editor, mate.
7145810 gardivior maybe but theres going to be a suprise when she wakes up *evil smile*
7146283 yeah i do but i think it is a major inprovement from my first story read it and you will see why
7146283 and whos to say she isnint at least a litte bit
7146256 realy do tell
7146237 Thanks man and just to say updates will be speratic because i am still in 9th grade so
7146867 The pacing still sucks mate. It's just too much for the reader to accept such a violent switch.
7146934
Shhh.
No.
It is perfect.
7147171 It is far from perfect, and trying to pretend it is isn't helping anybody improve.
7147183
There are some things that need to be left as is in order for the balance to be maintained.
You wouldn't want to disrupt the balance, would you? :c
7146934 yeah it does but ill revise it later
7147197 What balance? This is no balance, this is slamming through at top speed, leaving the reader behind.
7147221 A-thank you
Just got done reading a Ash betrayed fic so all I can say is...
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/578/024/a8c.jpg
7146853 4.bp.blogspot.com/-NX4moiWXInM/UXtzMp6-nfI/AAAAAAAAtLU/WItYowepf8w/s640/burns+happy.gif .
7147231
You're no fun.
7147231 I have picked up a bad habit of reading things rather fast so thats probably why
7147274 thanks I think?
7146283 are you offering to be one?
7147648 I know...DAMMIT of all the times not to have a Maud emoji...
7147749 Something to look out for then
7147758 I've got a few people I edit for already, sorry brah. But I know of plenty of groups dedicated to uniting editors and editees.