• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen January 2nd

Fuster Cluck


T

42 light years away, humanity discovers a possibly habitable planet. But things go awry and the suvivors are stranded on the planet, this curious planet.

Wait what? You thought they were American? HA, YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, HUMAN!

They're Russian...

Constructive criticism appreciated.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 220 )

Involves Russians, therefore, this has gained my interest. :raritywink:

Someone likes Metro.:ajsmug: This has gained my interest, I look forward to reading more.:pinkiesmile:

Original just for not making them American. I just hope it isn't the stereotypical "Vodka lulz" kind of Russians...

yay! :yay: finally someone other than fucking Americans

Finally, something other than murricans.

Alright, let's see. HiE with a Sci-Fi streak. Okay. The humans in question are cynical Russians. They are also armed to the teeth. Very well. Pinkie Pie got her hooves on a grenade. Okay.

12/10

I approve, good sir.

Pretty damn interesting, however this sentence does not sound correct... it might just be me but still.

“Yes, Shining. Those meteors landed in the tundra somewhere. Would you mind if we went and found them?”

Found is past tense, I think the word you're looking for is Find.

“MORE FUCKING ICE!”

Yes why not? :pinkiecrazy:
No seriously, poor guys :rainbowlaugh:

We have Russians as the star of the show now! Let's see where we go with this!

Also to my knowledge there is no such thing as an OSV-95, only OSV-96

Sure am glad that it's not another story with only Americans... I have nothing at all against them but come one, some variety wouldn't hurt.

she asked as she pulled the pin on the grenade.

Fuck indeed

After reading this fanfic, the reviewer started watching metro walkthroughs...

“Sometimes, I fucking hate it when you’re right Bourbon”
Sometimes i hate it when I know this kinda shit will happen

with the amount of equipment, I'm surprised some of them can walk

you had me at Russian

First there was the Russians.
Then there was the fire team Crimson.
Then Pinkie Pie got her hooves on a grenade.
Let the fun commence!

1637364 The only character I didn't name after someone in metro 2033 was Dima.

BourBon was clearly the American Spy. Why did he have to tempt Murphy anyway?

OK, no text language, other than that keep it up.

idky but this reminds me of metro 2033:pinkiecrazy: good story

1645406 I named a lot of characters after the ones in thr book. Artyom the protagonist, Bourbon his ally, Sasha his uncle, Dmitry the authors first name, Glukhovsky his last name. Dima is from bf3

That was the worst battle cry ever and it made me laugh my ass off.

This is hilarious! I love it! :pinkiehappy::raritywink:

i read all the dialogues from the Russians out loud in a Russian accent. so much better. need more updates.:rainbowlaugh:

This is by far the funniest HiE fic I've ever read. Keep writing.

upvoted and instafaved because russians

"Some people call them monsters, I call them bitches!"

Ahem. As an old philosophy of mine..."When in doubt; frag the fuck out!" seems to not work on ponies. Disappointed face. Ah well, Russians, ponies, and jokes about the internet. I hereby approve.

1651000 on almost every post I read, I see your name in the comment section>>1651649

The hell? Where is the stereotypical "Ivan smash flying gecko!" bad Russian speaker? Annoyances out of the way, not bad!

Well in the words of many people who have just seen something strange. What the heck just happend and can we have more of it.

...This story, in my opinion, has very little actual plot behind it.:ajbemused:

Honestly, the only thing keeping me here is the Russians.:trixieshiftright::twilightsmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh::moustache::eeyup::trollestia:

“DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
YOU’RE SO FUCKING SLOW
AND FAT, WHAT DO YOU WEIGH
HA-HA-HA
YOU CAN’T FUCKING SING
I’LL START A FUCKING FIGHT
GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU FUCKING HO
I’M DRIVING HERE TONIGHT
JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
OVER BODIES EVERYDAY (HEY)
JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL
BITCH WHAT DID I SAY
RUN THAT ASS CUZ YOU CANT HIDE
FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING SLEIGH
HEY”

:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

These russians are so unlikable and have given no reason for anyone to trust them yet they do. Somehow I still like this even if its the average soldier in Equestria fic.

1660310 have to give credit to the methology facebook page for that

1660321 they dont trust them, they're just taking advantage of the fact that they have no reason to harm them and the fact that they would be an asset to the millitary

Ummm...Is this a Metro 2033 fic?

And I spotted some grammar mistakes..

“I feel I should say this now, where omnivores” Sasha said

I'm guessing it's "we're?

Well, it's pretty good, but I was hoping that they would have had something to do with Kinf Sombra's defeat...since they were in the Crystal Empire and all...

MnM

So, it's like my story, 'Our Last Hope', but with Russians?

I'm okay with this.

1660403 I based all the names off of metro 2033, except Dima, whose from battlefield 3. They arrived after Sombra's defeat.

1660432 Yes, but with only minor conflict with the ponies.

MnM

1660443 Mine would be classified as a minor conflict as well.

Liked and faved, this fic is glorious. Even better than I expected :pinkiehappy:

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