• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2020
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A pony of mystery in the darkness. Or I forgot to take the lens cap off. (They/them is fine.)


An accurate student progress report for Sunset Shimmer might get her expelled, or perhaps institutionalized.

Fortunately, Vice Principal Luna knows how to write...tactfully.

This story might be an entry in the 2024 Dialogue Only Contest.

Cover image source: https://derpibooru.org/images/2806177?q=screencap

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )

Huh. So what I'm getting is that Sunset is not just a former pony, but one who, upon arriving on Earth, suffered a weeks-long series of psychotic episodes.

...yeah, that tracks. I mean, if I were suddenly in an alien body on an alien planet surrounded by aliens who were almost-but-not-quite people I knew, I'm pretty sure I'd go nuts for way longer, never mind how many issues she probably had even before the dimensional crossing.

gapty #2 · 2 weeks ago · · 1 ·

"I HAVE seen a student make a tinfoil hat 'to keep the mind control rays out' before. But never had I seen a student make a tinfoil cone for just the VERY top of her head, to, I quote: 'SEND the mind control rays, you hornless peasants, into those foolish, ignorant, conceited, bossy teachers' heads, let me out of class early you churls.'"

New headcanon.

Big fan of fics going absurd, and this fic did it while keeping itself still in the realms of actual possibility. Well done! :twilightsmile:

This was horrible...

I like it!

Someone should do a reading of this on YouTube, it's that good.

Sunset's early days are rife with comedic potential. Brilliant work in presenting a glimpse of them. Thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

Huh... I thought the mirror portal gave Sunset the body of a teenager. :applejackunsure: This is an interesting take on things, to say the least. Poor Luna and Tia having to deal with the Sunset-related paperwork in general is hilarious!

'Pinkie Pie lifts the hearts and spirits of all who know her, whether they want her to or not...'

That's Pinkie for you, yes! :pinkiehappy:

zwaph #8 · 2 weeks ago · · ·

"I recall we had a hard time breaking her of the habit of trying to eat the lawn for lunch...AND for dinner."

Where did she get this habit in the first place? I have no idea. Please, tell me!!

I know this is just being goofy, but I really could see Sunset running into Principal Celestia for the first time and cracking up a bit about "fun-size Celestia."

She grew up as a horse. Even canon had her briefly forget how many legs she has when waking up.

Now I kinda wanna see someone write a story where Sunset - after hearing about "tin foil hats" (possibly from Pinkie) tries this as a joke (the tin-foil horn)...only to discover it works.

And now part of me would like to see the rest of Pinkie Pie’s progress report.

Might want to put the comedy tag on... hits differently when you take this stuff with a pinch of reality.

To be fair, they have to give a suitable report to prevent the SCP Foundation from coming after her as an anomaly and even sealing off the school...they've done it to other schools for far less reason than there's an interdimensional portal in the statue out front.

"Hey neighsay i got the full report Here"
"Ah good so She really is doing better?"
"Yep Heck I was worried we'd have to get the princess to come here and arrest her directly you know?"
"Well yeah But hey she may have caused a lot of anomalous sightings but hey so long as we do This right and help her out we should be fine!"
"Indeed and Hopefully the Equestria Branch Of the Foundation wont have to step in, because id rather not have Many Ponies dressed in military uniforms Storm a high school because THAT would not go well with news companies like CNN or Fox you know?"
Just a bit of a Head canon extra

> "Ahem. DOESN'T the moon orbit around the earth?"


"Friday night Buffy binge it is."

I was hoping for "Charmed" (The original series not the newer CW one).

As a former teacher I must congratulate you on your grasp of report writing. So often during my 32 years if teaching I wanted to wright on a 9-week progress report, "Your child has reached rock bottom and started to dig." we had a list of these in the lounge I will try to find a copy.

found it

  • The improvement in his handwriting has revealed his inability to spell.
  • He has given me a new definition of stoicism: he grins and I bear it.
  • Would be lazy but for absence.
  • Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
  • Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
  • Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
  • This student should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
  • This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
  • He has lots of good ideas but needs to learn that others do too.
  • It would seem that he thinks he is running the school and not me. If this attitude persists one of us will have to leave.
  • This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
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